We have written 3000 blog posts for Puke on Your Birthday as of this post. Good work everybody. For real, I couldn't have done it without the regular roster of contributors. You are keeping the lights on here. Thank you.
I'm also worried. Maybe, after 3000 blog posts, we're starting to run out of ideas. So I went to the internet for help, and found a list of 87 blogging ideas for your everyday blogger (from a website called BlogTyrant).
Let's go through the list, and see how many of these ideas we've already blogged about. For every idea that has not been fashioned into a PoYB blog post already, I will write the new blog post using that idea, right here and now.
87 Blog Ideas According to BlogTyrant
1. Share a list of little-known facts about yourself, your business, or your blog niche.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: YES. I mean, most of what I write about is "me me me," so this goes without saying. But if I had to be specific, I'd say either the first MySpace survey (not the second one, which was more of a creative writing endeavor), or a reprint of list of "facts" about me from 2008 (you have to scroll down a bit).
2. Write a funny conspiracy theory behind an important event or people.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: YES. I wrote about a whole list of conspiracy theories, spawned from a real-life run-in I had with a stranger at McGillin's.
3. Share your favorite jokes.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: YES. My favorite joke of all time comes from PoYB contributor Dave N*****.
4. Show what's in your bag, your fridge, your wardrobe, or on your bookshelf.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: YES, kind of. I shared what was in my drawer one time.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: YES, kind of. I shared what was in my drawer one time.
5. Talk about a famous person you'd like to meet and what you'd like to ask them.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Oh christ, has it been done alright. I'm still not over the time I met Patrick Stickles. Is he considered "famous" though? To me he is.
6. Compare reality versus life in a movie.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I mean, I feel like I do it all the fucking time?! Between Your Favorite Movie and Never Seen It, I feel like I spend the majority of my time discussing movies on this blog comparing them to "real life." Which is not really the most intelligent way to discuss film, I know (and have discussed before in a meta way), but it's all we got, baby.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I mean, I feel like I do it all the fucking time?! Between Your Favorite Movie and Never Seen It, I feel like I spend the majority of my time discussing movies on this blog comparing them to "real life." Which is not really the most intelligent way to discuss film, I know (and have discussed before in a meta way), but it's all we got, baby.
7. Share DIY ideas or life hacks you've used in your own life.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: The answer is definitely yes, but I'm trying to think of something specific. As far as drinking goes, there was the list of ways to sneak beer into the dorms, and more relevant to present day, how to sneak beer into the baseball stadium. Those are hacks, right? If you're sober, you can always DIY a fruit fly catcher!
Has this been done before on PoYB?: The answer is definitely yes, but I'm trying to think of something specific. As far as drinking goes, there was the list of ways to sneak beer into the dorms, and more relevant to present day, how to sneak beer into the baseball stadium. Those are hacks, right? If you're sober, you can always DIY a fruit fly catcher!
8. List ways to surprise your spouse, parents, or kids.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: When I hear "surprise," I think "gifts." This one is old, but still important to know.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: When I hear "surprise," I think "gifts." This one is old, but still important to know.
9. Talk about your pet and the cute things it does.
10. Share your favorite coffee shops or places to read a good book.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yeah, John F. Collins is pretty child. Damn, I guess a lot of these are going to be from my New Summer. Does that mean that that blog project was a good one or a lame one? Can it be both?
11. Organize a viral giveaway to grow your blog traffic.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: No, I have never done a "viral giveaway." What the fuck does that even mean? I'm googling it now, and ugh, it's really gross. I suppose it means posting on social media that X amount of followers are going to get something for free if they are chosen? Especially if they like and retweet and whatnot? I don't like it. I don't like it at all.
Actually... the more I think about the more I suppose that the thing we're doing with the Record Club goals is kind of the same thing, right? I'm giving away Taco Bell if X amount of people support the blog. And hey, look, the number of reviews (a decent indicator of "blog traffic") has risen to an average of like 6.5 per week! It's working! Fuck viral giveaways!!!
Has this been done before on PoYB?: No, I have never done a "viral giveaway." What the fuck does that even mean? I'm googling it now, and ugh, it's really gross. I suppose it means posting on social media that X amount of followers are going to get something for free if they are chosen? Especially if they like and retweet and whatnot? I don't like it. I don't like it at all.
Actually... the more I think about the more I suppose that the thing we're doing with the Record Club goals is kind of the same thing, right? I'm giving away Taco Bell if X amount of people support the blog. And hey, look, the number of reviews (a decent indicator of "blog traffic") has risen to an average of like 6.5 per week! It's working! Fuck viral giveaways!!!
12. Talk about rare or unknown disorders and their symptoms.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yup. Rest in peace, Rose. I often wonder if dementia had more of a hand in her condition than I was willing to give it credit for at the time (since "Charles Bonnet Syndrome" sounds so much more fantastical and so much more fitting of a whimsical woman such as Rose G.).
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yup. Rest in peace, Rose. I often wonder if dementia had more of a hand in her condition than I was willing to give it credit for at the time (since "Charles Bonnet Syndrome" sounds so much more fantastical and so much more fitting of a whimsical woman such as Rose G.).
13. Counter popular myths with facts.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I feel like there has to have been a political blog post in this vein, right? I guess this frothy-mouthed spewing from 2017 is as good as any. Though as we also discussed, "facts" don't really mean much these days, unfortunately.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I feel like there has to have been a political blog post in this vein, right? I guess this frothy-mouthed spewing from 2017 is as good as any. Though as we also discussed, "facts" don't really mean much these days, unfortunately.
14. Share myths or mistakes from your favorite movie.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: My favorite movie, you say?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: My favorite movie, you say?
15. Look into the top most mysterious places in the world, like the Bermuda triangle.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I'd argue that a lot of the travelogue-type posts on PoYB are looking into what I'd call "mysteries," at least of "our world," if not "the world." Think Graffiti Pier. Actually, Nick spoke way back in 2009 about the "wonders" of our world, and I'd consider that word synonymous with "mysteries."
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I'd argue that a lot of the travelogue-type posts on PoYB are looking into what I'd call "mysteries," at least of "our world," if not "the world." Think Graffiti Pier. Actually, Nick spoke way back in 2009 about the "wonders" of our world, and I'd consider that word synonymous with "mysteries."
16. Talk about your personality type or astrological sign.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: In what I've long thought was one of the worst, laziest, most insipid blog posts I've ever written, I wrote about my astrological sign.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: In what I've long thought was one of the worst, laziest, most insipid blog posts I've ever written, I wrote about my astrological sign.
17. Share famous predictions and prophecies about the world from Nostradamus or others.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yikes, there are so many of these answers from Joe's New Summer. I'm sorry about that. Maybe we'll get out of this rut soon (please, BlogTyrant!). Yes, I dealt with "famous" prophecies.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yikes, there are so many of these answers from Joe's New Summer. I'm sorry about that. Maybe we'll get out of this rut soon (please, BlogTyrant!). Yes, I dealt with "famous" prophecies.
18. List the top haunted places in the world, or in your neighborhood.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. The old McNally's is currently haunted.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. The old McNally's is currently haunted.
19. Talk about unsolved mysteries. They could be famous, local, or even personal mysteries in your own life.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, though this blog post about the Boy in the Box could've been better. Actually, let me promise to you now that sometime within the next, I dunno, 100 blog posts, I will rewrite it.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, though this blog post about the Boy in the Box could've been better. Actually, let me promise to you now that sometime within the next, I dunno, 100 blog posts, I will rewrite it.
20. Write a case study on a mysterious place near you.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I'm not sure if this counts as a "case study," but there was a surprising amount of research to be done back in 2010 about the mysterious (to a young child) local strip club, the Purple Orchid II.
21. Share facts or traditions from a culture that's very different from your own.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, if we're being loose with the word "culture." Two that I can think of off the top of my head are the review of an emo concert, in which I position myself as an outsider, and observations of a YouTube channel, in which I didn't need to position myself as an outsider because I was definitely waaaaay on the outside already.
22. Create a list of reasons why you should do something.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Lists are kind of this blog's forte, so yes, we've done this. Pick your poison. A list of reasons you should listen to "Party in the U.S.A."? A list of reasons you should or should not dump popcorn on a professional basketball player's head? A list of reasons you should defund the police immediately? A list of reasons I should try to live for at least another 30 years?
23. What sets your blog apart from others in your niche?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Aside from the part that I write for a blog that exists? Is that not niche enough for you? I have no idea. I don't think anything sets it apart, honestly. Everything that I personally write is average. On Fridays for Record Club, it becomes magical, but that's due to the hard work of others. I dunno, maybe the fact that I've been writing every single day for the past 342 days in a row and am planning on another 300ish after today? Yes, PoYB fills the niche of being the Jake Paul of Blogspot.
24. What tools and software do you use for your content and images?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I've kept a phone memo of "blog ideas" on and off for the better part of a decade. When I found an old copy of one from 2013ish, I wrote about it. I guess this counts toward the "content" part of the question? Because as far as images go, I usually just steal 'em from google images.
25. What's your process for writing and editing a blog post?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: If we're stretching, then I'll say that there were at least two times, if not more, that I wrote about the idea of blogging while I was simultaneously writing the content required. The first is the BOOK review that was supposed to act like a how-to-write-an-album-review while simultaneously acting like it's own album review (YMMV on the success of the endeavor). The second is the painfully self-aware RGB death reaction piece that tried to soften the cringiness by offering some bracketed blogging tips (YMMV on the success of the endeavor, nah jk it sucks).
26. Ever faced a technical problem with your website? How did you resolve it?
The worst problem that I can remember ever having—besides all the glitches that popped up when Blogger made their interface "better," and also maybe that one time Sunny emailed me with a screenshot of his browser telling him that PoYB was "unsafe" for undisclosed reasons (that issue resolved itself, no idea what happened)—was when I drunkenly deleted my write-up for the original West Side Story by accident. I eventually rewrote it, but I may or may not have taken out my frustrations on poor Bl*ppi.
27. Create an infographic with stats from your blog.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I cannot believe we're through 27 of these suggestions so far and we still haven't gotten to one that hasn't been written about already. It's gotta happen eventually, right? But for now, yes, I've included an infographic with stats from the blog. Can't say it was a good blog post, but it certainly exists!
28. Ever had writer's block before? How did you handle it?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Actually, that infographic one could probably act as a "how to handle writer's block" blog post too. But that's not the only one. Back in the day, I used to place small apologies on the blog for "not updating enough." As if anyone gives a fuck about how often I update. But here's one from 2008, one from 2009, one from 2010 (that says "this happens every year," indeed it does), one from 2012, and one from 2018 that eschews the notion of having to blog regularly (so much for that).
Otherwise, I'd say the one key thing I do when I have writer's block is to eat the snake's tail and talk about the writer's block in the actual blog post, and hope that the bitching and moaning about the writer's block will eventually clear the blockage. There are too many examples of this, but probably the most recent one is my John Mayer review.
29. Have you ever switched your blog hosting, or changed blogging platforms? Why, and how did it go?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes! I switched from Xanga to Blogger, as documented extensively.
30. Ever tried drafting a post while traveling? How did it work out for you?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, and it usually works out poorly. I mean, I'm writing every day, and sometimes that means I'm writing from vacation. Sometimes I can type it out in advance (Dwyer told me recently that he thought that I literally woke up early every single morning and wrote a fresh blog post to be published promptly at 7 AM). Other times, like for Record Club or Grannies Gone Wild, the columns that have time limitations, I'm boxed in and have to write on vacation. The one that always comes to my mind is my Watermelon Man! review, but there have been others, as recently as a couple weeks ago. How did it work out for me? Fine, I guess?
31. What tips would you give someone who's just starting a blog?
Wow, okay, you got me. I don't think I've ever written a blog post that consists of tips that I'd give someone who is just starting a blog. Do you think I remember what it's like to START a blog? Something I did when I was nineteen years old? Okay, for the first time, here is a brand new blog post, embedded within this list of "new" ideas for blog posts.
Using this idea because PoYB has not already:
Tips on How to Write an Album Review, Using ExamplesI've said this in person to plenty of potential Record Club members, but writing for RC shouldn't be hard, because there are NO RULES when writing a review. Do whatever you want. Seriously. Any "rules" that you have in your mind about what a review "should" look like is just your own anxieties working against you. Free yourself from words such as "standards" and "procedures." Those are for boring sites like Pitchfork. At Puke on Your Birthday, do whatever the fuck you want.I can think of plenty examples from RC contributors who have proven that you really do have this freedom. Here are a few.I really like how Pam didn't really write about the Arrogant Sons of Bitches directly, but still used a short story to convey the emotions that the album made her feel in one way or another. I really like how Zach has been doing the same thing recently, in how he is writing stuff that borders on fiction, but still manages to get a music opinion across in a really indirect way. I like the few times a year when Nate's profession façade breaks down and he gets really angry at me that he has to write that particular review. I like when Sunny uses the album to become a sort of pop culture anthropologist. Like when Rachel uses an album as a window into a scary past. I like when Brian uses the album to make one single joke and it's the dumbest joke imaginable. I like when Brittany writes a review while listening to the album for the first time, giving a really good snapshot of a first impression. I like when Jenn's similar first impressions mean that she doesn't even know the name of the band. I like when Jamie's passion turns into transcribing lyrics that aren't on the internet yet. I don't like when Dwyer tries to write a review without having heard the goddamn album, but hey! At least he tried to write a review!This is not a comprehensive list of the "best" reviews or whatever. Plenty of contributors on this blog, and I think every single person who writes reviews for Record Club is a fantastic writer, and I'm so glad y'all are here. These are just the reviews that came to mind when I'm thinking about reviews that stretched what it means to write a review for Record Club, or what is even possible. These are examples on how to write an album review, because you can literally do whatever you want. Have fun with it. That is my one tip.
Okay, two tips. The second: don't listen to me, because I do not know what I'm doing.
32. What strategy has worked the best for you to grow your blog traffic? What strategy failed?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: More or less. I wrote something a few months ago about the PoYB Twitter account, which I guess at the beginning was indeed intended to "grow blog traffic." There's a lot of other fluff on that blog post, but I'll count it, if only because we still have 55 more "blog ideas" to run through still...
33. How do you increase your followers on social media?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I have written about the answer to this question, and the answer is unambiguous and unequivocal: post nudes.
34. How do you build relationships with other bloggers on your niche?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. All you have to do is help 'em out and write posts for their blogs. Then eventually they will write for yours (or just comment saying fuck off, basically).
35. Talk about the blogging mistakes you have made.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Oh yeah. It's tough to not make mistakes over fourteen years, especially when you start writing when you are still a literal teenager and your brain isn't even fully developed yet. About four years ago, I attempted to reckon with six blog posts that I had written in my youth, and tried to explain why and how I was wrong in the way I wrote them. Not sure if that is enough, but I also don't want to erase the past and the stupid mistakes I've made. There will be mistakes in the future too, but I'm trying, and I'm very open to admitting when I'm wrong.
36. Why did you decide to start a blog?
I've run through this story a few times, most prominently last time there was a prominent blogging milestone—1000 posts.
37. Share your blog's traffic and earning numbers.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Fuck, man, I don't think it has. Sharing "traffic numbers" makes me really uncomfortable, because that's not why we're here, right? And "earning numbers" don't exist, since the "traffic numbers" aren't high enough that ads would even be worth it. This is just a hobby! Nevertheless...
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Fuck, man, I don't think it has. Sharing "traffic numbers" makes me really uncomfortable, because that's not why we're here, right? And "earning numbers" don't exist, since the "traffic numbers" aren't high enough that ads would even be worth it. This is just a hobby! Nevertheless...
Using this idea because PoYB has not already:
Talking About PoYB's Traffic
As of right now, like literally this second as I type this, the lifetime number of visit for Puke on Your Birthday is 94,082. I don't think the tracking started on the same day that the blog was started, only because I have a vague memory of Mike texting me to say that he set up tracking.
The vast majority of those clicks have occurred after October 2017, when I did a soft reboot of the blog. Before then, monthly visits hovered around zero, more or less because the number of posts published also hovered around zero. There is definitely a correlation between number of posts and number of clicks. That makes sense, logically.
The month with the most clicks is January 2021 with 4.22k clicks, and I sincerely have no idea why. The post with the most clicks is the RC archives, with 1.28k clicks. If you disqualify that for being more of a collection of blog posts than an actual blog post, then the next highest is Best Songs of the 2010s: #50-#26 with 591 clicks. I am just as confused as you are. I even commented on that post, hoping that someone could explain why it was so popular (maybe it was linked on another blog for some reason?), but no success. The average number of clicks per day is like 50-100, depending on the day of the week (e.g. Fridays are high, Saturdays are low).
Another thing I do not know is how many of those clicks are my own. Blogger tells me that my own clicks don't count, but I'm not so sure. It does seem like the days in which I'm doing work around the blog are the days when the click counts are highest.
So if we assume as much, then let's say conservatively that maybe ten people visit the blog per day? To those ten people, I say: thanks! Like I said, I am CLEARLY not doing this to get more popular on the internet or to make money or anything. It's just a dumb hobby to pass the time, much like a model train might be (but this is cheaper). I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to check it out.
38. Share a list of your favorite productivity tools and apps, and how you use them.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I don't use anything besides a basic phone memo app, which I've already talked about. I guess you could also hear about my phone itself? That is technically a tool I use to gather blogging ideas. Here are two posts about that, both hit-or-miss in quality but so be it. Otherwise, I'm just type type typing away on my fucking laptop.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I don't use anything besides a basic phone memo app, which I've already talked about. I guess you could also hear about my phone itself? That is technically a tool I use to gather blogging ideas. Here are two posts about that, both hit-or-miss in quality but so be it. Otherwise, I'm just type type typing away on my fucking laptop.
39. How do you beat procrastination and meet deadlines?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, I've shared a few different projects over the years that were done the night before deadline. Because that is my strategy to beat procrastination—lean into it and then do everything in a mad-rush all-nighter. Off the top of my head, there was the drum project, and transcribing the grandparent interview. Ooh, and I also wrote a speech about my procrastination in high school, and shared it on here at one point (gotta scroll down a little bit).
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, I've shared a few different projects over the years that were done the night before deadline. Because that is my strategy to beat procrastination—lean into it and then do everything in a mad-rush all-nighter. Off the top of my head, there was the drum project, and transcribing the grandparent interview. Ooh, and I also wrote a speech about my procrastination in high school, and shared it on here at one point (gotta scroll down a little bit).
40. What are your quick tips for better or faster writing?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: You're in luck—I have written some advice on how to be a better writer.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: You're in luck—I have written some advice on how to be a better writer.
41. What's your biggest regret? What would you have done differently?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Wow... I mean, there are a lot of regrets scattered across this blog. So yes, I've written about them already. Gun to my head, this is my favorite one.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Wow... I mean, there are a lot of regrets scattered across this blog. So yes, I've written about them already. Gun to my head, this is my favorite one.
42. Share the biggest lesson you've learned in life, and how you learned it.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: So many life lessons learned too. Some serious, some not. Let's go with the latter and say that the life lesson is: Don't play beer pong.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: So many life lessons learned too. Some serious, some not. Let's go with the latter and say that the life lesson is: Don't play beer pong.
43. What are the best habits you have in your life right now? How did you form them?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. The best habit that I (occasionally) have in my life is running. It formed by starting to run, and then running for 150 weeks in a row.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. The best habit that I (occasionally) have in my life is running. It formed by starting to run, and then running for 150 weeks in a row.
44. Set a milestone and start a ten-day challenge. Write a series of blog posts talking about it, and summary at the end of the challenge.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: A ten-day challenge, you say? Do you know who you are fucking talking to? How about a 366-day challenge?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: A ten-day challenge, you say? Do you know who you are fucking talking to? How about a 366-day challenge?
45. Share your bucket list.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I feel like I mention my high school bucket list waaaaay too much on this blog, for some reason. That list is some of the most cringeworthy bullshit that's ever been put to page. I'm not even going to link to it here; if you want it, use the search bar. (I wrote another one at age 30, but I'll save that for one of the ideas listed below.)
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I feel like I mention my high school bucket list waaaaay too much on this blog, for some reason. That list is some of the most cringeworthy bullshit that's ever been put to page. I'm not even going to link to it here; if you want it, use the search bar. (I wrote another one at age 30, but I'll save that for one of the ideas listed below.)
46. Write list post for your birthday that corresponds to your age. You could share a list of goals, lessons, favorite memories, or facts about yourself.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I went big for my 21st birthday—one, two, three posts in anticipation of what still stands as the most life-changing birthday of my life.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I went big for my 21st birthday—one, two, three posts in anticipation of what still stands as the most life-changing birthday of my life.
47. Any special occasion coming up in your life that you could write about?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. I write about anniversaries and birthdays and whatnot pretty often.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. I write about anniversaries and birthdays and whatnot pretty often.
48. Tell your visitors about a launch that you just attended.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: About a "launch" that I just attended? What the fuck does that even mean? Why in the world would I attend a launch? Let me think about this long and hard, because if there's nothing I can crowbar into this space, then I have literally no idea how I'm going to blog about it now.
...No, I got nothing.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: About a "launch" that I just attended? What the fuck does that even mean? Why in the world would I attend a launch? Let me think about this long and hard, because if there's nothing I can crowbar into this space, then I have literally no idea how I'm going to blog about it now.
...No, I got nothing.
Using this idea because PoYB has not already:
Attending the "Launch" of the Rail Park
We were looking for something to do on a random summer day in 2018, after Willow was born, so we took a trip over to Northern Liberties and took part in the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the then-new Rail Park. Mayor Kenney was there, giving a speech. Kenney is my boss, technically, so I won't say anything bad about him. If I was allowed to say something like "the man is a worthless drunk who thinks so little of his constituents that he is cool with them being trapped and gassed like animals and then he whines about it and says he doesn't want to be mayor anymore because it's too hard wah wah" or whatever, but I shouldn't say that, so I won't.
Anyways, the park was cool, or at least the small section that was open. Wish the mayor could find the money to complete the rest of it.
49. Do you have a favorite festival? Any fond memory that you have about it?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, but mainly to talk about how I will never go to a festival. I don't even like concerts. Though I've been to a few.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, but mainly to talk about how I will never go to a festival. I don't even like concerts. Though I've been to a few.
50. Talk about an inspirational movie that you've just seen.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. Many times. Inspirational, specifically? That might be tougher. Because some of the best movies I've seen through the NSI project, like Brief Encounter or Do the Right Thing, aren't necessarily inspirational. And then the ostensibly "inspirational" ones are not necessarily all that great, like The Garbage Picking..., or even Rudy. But c'mon, we talk about movies enough on this blog.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. Many times. Inspirational, specifically? That might be tougher. Because some of the best movies I've seen through the NSI project, like Brief Encounter or Do the Right Thing, aren't necessarily inspirational. And then the ostensibly "inspirational" ones are not necessarily all that great, like The Garbage Picking..., or even Rudy. But c'mon, we talk about movies enough on this blog.
51. What's a trend in your industry that's happening right now?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Fuck! These tech bro terms are going to be the fucking death of me today. A "trend" in my "industry"? What the fuck does that even mean?! What is my industry, even? I'm a civil service worker, I don't have an "industry." What, is blogging an industry? Doesn't there have to be money exchanging hands for it to be an "industry"? What the fuck do you think we're even doing here, BlogTyrant?!?!
I mean, I don't want to write anything here, so I'll say this. Way back in the day—I'm talking in the nascent stages of blogging, circa 2010—there was a trend called "Formspring." It was a platform where bloggers could solicit anonymous questions that they could then answer publicly on the blog. PoYB tried it. I don't think I received any questions. I made up some questions anyway and then answered them. These two posts might just be the nadir of this blog in terms of quality. But it happened, and I'm using them now as an excuse to say that YOUR IDEAS ARE STUPID, BLOGTYRANT.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Fuck! These tech bro terms are going to be the fucking death of me today. A "trend" in my "industry"? What the fuck does that even mean?! What is my industry, even? I'm a civil service worker, I don't have an "industry." What, is blogging an industry? Doesn't there have to be money exchanging hands for it to be an "industry"? What the fuck do you think we're even doing here, BlogTyrant?!?!
I mean, I don't want to write anything here, so I'll say this. Way back in the day—I'm talking in the nascent stages of blogging, circa 2010—there was a trend called "Formspring." It was a platform where bloggers could solicit anonymous questions that they could then answer publicly on the blog. PoYB tried it. I don't think I received any questions. I made up some questions anyway and then answered them. These two posts might just be the nadir of this blog in terms of quality. But it happened, and I'm using them now as an excuse to say that YOUR IDEAS ARE STUPID, BLOGTYRANT.
52. Talk about a blogging milestone, like the day when you got your 100th subscriber or reached a certain number of website visitors.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Ha, I'm literally doing that now. Blog Post 3000 baby. Remember when Blog Post 250 seemed like a milestone? Or even Blog Post 251?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Ha, I'm literally doing that now. Blog Post 3000 baby. Remember when Blog Post 250 seemed like a milestone? Or even Blog Post 251?
53. Share your plans or traditions for an upcoming holiday or vacation.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I've done the "summer list" a few times, including this past year. I know it's not much. Maybe I could include the introduction post for the Las Vegas portion of this blog?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I've done the "summer list" a few times, including this past year. I know it's not much. Maybe I could include the introduction post for the Las Vegas portion of this blog?
54. Share your thoughts on turning 20, 30, 40, 50...
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yup. One of the longest blog posts I've ever written was in anticipation of turning 30, and it basically listed a whole bunch of memories from my 20s. Then, when I turned 30, I posted a new bucket list with 30 things I wanted to do in the subsequent 30 years.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yup. One of the longest blog posts I've ever written was in anticipation of turning 30, and it basically listed a whole bunch of memories from my 20s. Then, when I turned 30, I posted a new bucket list with 30 things I wanted to do in the subsequent 30 years.
55. Talk about a recent event in the news and the broader implications of it.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I've definitely done that plenty of times. Mostly with politics, I guess—think the Roe thing a couple weeks ago, or maybe the aftermath of the 2020 presidential election.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I've definitely done that plenty of times. Mostly with politics, I guess—think the Roe thing a couple weeks ago, or maybe the aftermath of the 2020 presidential election.
56. Republish one of your Twitter threads in a blog post format to reach a whole new audience.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, I've done it, but it never makes for any satisfying reading, in my opinion. Here's some republished tweets from an old parody account.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, I've done it, but it never makes for any satisfying reading, in my opinion. Here's some republished tweets from an old parody account.
57. Compile a roundup of Tweets about a certain topic or news item, and add your own thoughts.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: In lieu of linking to a blog post I already linked to above, I could maybe say that the Bee Movie write-up kinda sorta fits the bill here?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: In lieu of linking to a blog post I already linked to above, I could maybe say that the Bee Movie write-up kinda sorta fits the bill here?
58. Have a YouTube channel? Turn your most popular video into a blog post by creating a transcription file.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Ha! Yes, but it's not like I have "popular videos" on the channel. I mainly just use YouTube as a way to get the videos online so that I can embed them on the blog. Here's a blog post where I embedded a bunch of them at the same time. I guess I could also use this opportunity to plug the Record Club Playlist, which is also on YouTube.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Ha! Yes, but it's not like I have "popular videos" on the channel. I mainly just use YouTube as a way to get the videos online so that I can embed them on the blog. Here's a blog post where I embedded a bunch of them at the same time. I guess I could also use this opportunity to plug the Record Club Playlist, which is also on YouTube.
59. Update an existing blog post of yours with new information.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. I had a blog for less than four days that I called 1334 Chapters, on which I was going to read one chapter of the Bible every day for 1334 days in a row. I brought that ill-fated project out of the vault a couple years ago and gave it one final update.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. I had a blog for less than four days that I called 1334 Chapters, on which I was going to read one chapter of the Bible every day for 1334 days in a row. I brought that ill-fated project out of the vault a couple years ago and gave it one final update.
60. Turn a single post into a series of posts by making each point elaborate and comprehensive.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I'm very sorry to remind you of this, but I had a whole series called Don't Tell Me What I Can't Do, which was based on a single blog post from 2009 in which I listed subjects I'd never blog about.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I'm very sorry to remind you of this, but I had a whole series called Don't Tell Me What I Can't Do, which was based on a single blog post from 2009 in which I listed subjects I'd never blog about.
61. Compile expert tips from popular people in your industry.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Again I ask, are we considering "blogging" the industry in question here? Or something else? Can I consider advice that I gave someone else to count here? My essay for my cousin could fit, if we're considering "adulthood working class" as the "industry."
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Again I ask, are we considering "blogging" the industry in question here? Or something else? Can I consider advice that I gave someone else to count here? My essay for my cousin could fit, if we're considering "adulthood working class" as the "industry."
62. Talk about your writing or working space, and why it works well for you.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I don't really have a working space, per se. I'm trying to think of literally any time "where I'm writing from" has been the subject of a blog post. I'm sure there's something out there, but I'm drawing a blank.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I don't really have a working space, per se. I'm trying to think of literally any time "where I'm writing from" has been the subject of a blog post. I'm sure there's something out there, but I'm drawing a blank.
I used to write at my desk in my bedroom when I lived at my parents' house. There was one blog post that featured a bunch of pictures of myself that I had taken, and many of them have that workspace in the background. So maybe that's a good one. Or a bad one, depending on how you're feeling at this point in the current blog post. Are you tired? I'm so tired.
63. What are your hobbies? How did you get started in them?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Hobbies? Are you fucking kidding me? WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING RIGHT NOW, YOU ASSHOLE?!
Some other hobbies, besides blogging and everything that has to do with blogging? Also besides running, I guess, which I already mentioned above. Umm... I used to collect things, I guess that was a hobby. What else? Drinking? I've written a lot about drinking. Literally click on the "drinking" tag at the top of the page. Bike riding? Only if it's safe. No... it's pretty much just writing, as far as "hobbies" go. So yes, it's been done before on PoYB.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Hobbies? Are you fucking kidding me? WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING RIGHT NOW, YOU ASSHOLE?!
Some other hobbies, besides blogging and everything that has to do with blogging? Also besides running, I guess, which I already mentioned above. Umm... I used to collect things, I guess that was a hobby. What else? Drinking? I've written a lot about drinking. Literally click on the "drinking" tag at the top of the page. Bike riding? Only if it's safe. No... it's pretty much just writing, as far as "hobbies" go. So yes, it's been done before on PoYB.
64. What does a typical day in your life look like?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I wrote a "day in the life" feature back on a random day in 2018. I forget if this day was chosen beforehand as the day I'd write about, or if I realized what a weird day it was and decided to write about it. Either way, it was a day and I wrote about it, so suck it BlogTyrant.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I wrote a "day in the life" feature back on a random day in 2018. I forget if this day was chosen beforehand as the day I'd write about, or if I realized what a weird day it was and decided to write about it. Either way, it was a day and I wrote about it, so suck it BlogTyrant.
65. Talk about your fitness routine.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: One time I went to the gym twice in one day LOL.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: One time I went to the gym twice in one day LOL.
66. Write about your recent travel experience.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Pam asked me to write about our trip to Ireland, so I wrote about our trip to Ireland.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Pam asked me to write about our trip to Ireland, so I wrote about our trip to Ireland.
67. What are some points to consider before you plan a vacation?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Oof, this is a stretch, but if we think that one of the points to consider before planning a backpacking vacation is "make sure you're gonna be able to carry a backpack," then maybe I've written about it? Or maybe we can all just consider what album we're gonna listen to before we go on vacation together (because Record Club is THE most important point to consider when planning a vacation).
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Oof, this is a stretch, but if we think that one of the points to consider before planning a backpacking vacation is "make sure you're gonna be able to carry a backpack," then maybe I've written about it? Or maybe we can all just consider what album we're gonna listen to before we go on vacation together (because Record Club is THE most important point to consider when planning a vacation).
68. List your favorite books that you have read.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I've done favorite books of the year before (so has Sam). I've also written about my favorite book of all time before. With that latter point, I'm tossing around the idea of doing an extended blog project with it next summer. Don't hold me to that, though.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I've done favorite books of the year before (so has Sam). I've also written about my favorite book of all time before. With that latter point, I'm tossing around the idea of doing an extended blog project with it next summer. Don't hold me to that, though.
69. Write about the perks of blogging and making money online.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: What the fuck? You're gonna nab me with this one again? And for idea #69? That's extra insulting. You know what? No. This is a repeat idea, and I've already responded to it—I don't make money off the blog. Period. End of story. If you want a good idea for #69, then maybe you could've said "69. Write about wearing women's clothing" which I've done plenty of times.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: What the fuck? You're gonna nab me with this one again? And for idea #69? That's extra insulting. You know what? No. This is a repeat idea, and I've already responded to it—I don't make money off the blog. Period. End of story. If you want a good idea for #69, then maybe you could've said "69. Write about wearing women's clothing" which I've done plenty of times.
70. How do you stay organized?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. I do a lot of "tagging" on the internet to stay organized. Look at the top of this web page to see some tags for Puke on Your Birthday. I also try to stay organized on Google Photos, for instance, even though they make tagging difficult sometimes.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. I do a lot of "tagging" on the internet to stay organized. Look at the top of this web page to see some tags for Puke on Your Birthday. I also try to stay organized on Google Photos, for instance, even though they make tagging difficult sometimes.
71. What's your favorite hideout or hangout spot, and why do you like it?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: The answer is definitely yes, but I'm trying to decide what to link to here. I feel like the best answer is "the firepit at Burholme," though I don't know if there's ever been a definitive blog post on the subject (and ignoring the very obvious fact that this is a very 2009 answer and not a true 2022 answer at all). Let's see... there were two stories that took place at the firepit. There was an April Fools blog post about its demise. And there was a more recent anecdote about not being able to find the pit in my old age. That enough for this idea?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: The answer is definitely yes, but I'm trying to decide what to link to here. I feel like the best answer is "the firepit at Burholme," though I don't know if there's ever been a definitive blog post on the subject (and ignoring the very obvious fact that this is a very 2009 answer and not a true 2022 answer at all). Let's see... there were two stories that took place at the firepit. There was an April Fools blog post about its demise. And there was a more recent anecdote about not being able to find the pit in my old age. That enough for this idea?
72. Talk about how you decorated your home.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yeah. We decorated our home with tickets. Lots of tickets.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yeah. We decorated our home with tickets. Lots of tickets.
73. Promote a cause that you're passionate about.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. Well, it's two things. One is that I'm passionate about Record Club. Two is that I use that passion sometimes as an excuse to donate to charity. Like, I'll say "for every review this week I'll donate X amount of money to this particular charity" or whatever. Most recently, an outpouring of emotions about a McGruff the Crime Dog album resulted in over $1000 being donated to various charities, mostly Kensington's Angels in Motion (Sunny, Sean, and Lamson all matched my own gift). Who said blogging can't be a net positive on society?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. Well, it's two things. One is that I'm passionate about Record Club. Two is that I use that passion sometimes as an excuse to donate to charity. Like, I'll say "for every review this week I'll donate X amount of money to this particular charity" or whatever. Most recently, an outpouring of emotions about a McGruff the Crime Dog album resulted in over $1000 being donated to various charities, mostly Kensington's Angels in Motion (Sunny, Sean, and Lamson all matched my own gift). Who said blogging can't be a net positive on society?
74. List the top bloggers in your niche who inspire you with their work.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes! All my favorite bloggers are listed in a sidebar to the right of your screen! Under the "PoYB Contributors" tab. "Friends / Graveyards" is also a good one, even though Fatter, Older is really the only non-Graveyard at this point, and even that has been dormant for a few months now (I am happy that Nate still contributes to Puke, even if it's fourteen words at a time). Special shoutout to Allison's Graveyard, whose most recent (final?) post speaks to some Puke on Your Birthday projects of the past.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes! All my favorite bloggers are listed in a sidebar to the right of your screen! Under the "PoYB Contributors" tab. "Friends / Graveyards" is also a good one, even though Fatter, Older is really the only non-Graveyard at this point, and even that has been dormant for a few months now (I am happy that Nate still contributes to Puke, even if it's fourteen words at a time). Special shoutout to Allison's Graveyard, whose most recent (final?) post speaks to some Puke on Your Birthday projects of the past.
75. Put together a list of underrepresented people in your industry.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, but I literally just said the other day that I wasn't going to be creepy anymore, and I'm sticking to it.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes, but I literally just said the other day that I wasn't going to be creepy anymore, and I'm sticking to it.
76. Share a list of things or activities that put you in a good mood.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yeah, though the list is a bit outdated four years later, but not too badly (and it also, of course, had to come attached to a similar list of things that put me in a bad mood).
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yeah, though the list is a bit outdated four years later, but not too badly (and it also, of course, had to come attached to a similar list of things that put me in a bad mood).
77. Write about how to balance work and family life.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Dude, come on... this list of ideas is terrible. I'm really regretting committing to this blog post. But, I guess I will adhere to the sunk cost fallacy and continue on, even though there is no way anyone is still reading it at this point, right? Are you still here? Do you really want me to blog about balancing work and family life? Do honestly not know at this point that the only way to achieve that balance is to be sober? And I haven't been sober in years?
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Dude, come on... this list of ideas is terrible. I'm really regretting committing to this blog post. But, I guess I will adhere to the sunk cost fallacy and continue on, even though there is no way anyone is still reading it at this point, right? Are you still here? Do you really want me to blog about balancing work and family life? Do honestly not know at this point that the only way to achieve that balance is to be sober? And I haven't been sober in years?
78. Talk about the best goal setting planners.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I don't even know what this means. "Goal setting planners"? Is this more industry speak? I googled "best goal setting planners" and all the results were literally books that you can write your goals in, like this one. So I don't know. I've never blogged about one of those. But I'm always blogging about my goals around New Year's, and I'm going to count that. Here are some from 2009, 2010, 2018, 2019, 2022.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I don't even know what this means. "Goal setting planners"? Is this more industry speak? I googled "best goal setting planners" and all the results were literally books that you can write your goals in, like this one. So I don't know. I've never blogged about one of those. But I'm always blogging about my goals around New Year's, and I'm going to count that. Here are some from 2009, 2010, 2018, 2019, 2022.
79. Share a success story of a popular person with a humble background.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. I now present, one final time, the Wolf of Wall Street interview. (Alternate: I was going to present Kev's humble beginnings, but he's still never finished a meal in his life—for real, he didn't finish his meal when we were at Fox Chase Tavern!!!—so the "success story" part of the equation was missing.)
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Yes. I now present, one final time, the Wolf of Wall Street interview. (Alternate: I was going to present Kev's humble beginnings, but he's still never finished a meal in his life—for real, he didn't finish his meal when we were at Fox Chase Tavern!!!—so the "success story" part of the equation was missing.)
80. Share a list of your favorite inspirational quotes.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Sure. I'll consider "see below fold" as inspirational a quote as any.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Sure. I'll consider "see below fold" as inspirational a quote as any.
81. Talk about your latest creative project. Bonus if you took photos along the way!
Has this been done before on PoYB?: For my latest creative project, I listened to 70,000 hours of Buckethead and ranked his albums. I did not take pictures, so I do not get the bonus. Sorry, BlogTyrant.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: For my latest creative project, I listened to 70,000 hours of Buckethead and ranked his albums. I did not take pictures, so I do not get the bonus. Sorry, BlogTyrant.
82. Talk about a process, step by step.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Please do not read this, but here is a step-by-step guide to contacting Satan.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Please do not read this, but here is a step-by-step guide to contacting Satan.
83. Write a frequently-asked-questions (FAQ) post.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Done. Or does an FAQ page from an extended vacation we took over ten years ago not count?! Come at me if you disagree, I'm 83 terrible blog ideas in and I'm ready to snap.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Done. Or does an FAQ page from an extended vacation we took over ten years ago not count?! Come at me if you disagree, I'm 83 terrible blog ideas in and I'm ready to snap.
84. Review a book or product in your niche.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Review a book? In my niche?! What the fuck is this "niche" y'all keep talking about? I've reviewed plenty of books. Are they in my niche? Fuck you, buddy.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Review a book? In my niche?! What the fuck is this "niche" y'all keep talking about? I've reviewed plenty of books. Are they in my niche? Fuck you, buddy.
85. Share a list of resources to learn about a certain topic.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: The best way to get through blog posts that are giving you trouble is to get a little tipsy before you finish them. So that's what I did. Man, these ideas are shitty, aren't they? A "list of resources"? C'mon. Fuck, dude. I'm so tired of this.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: The best way to get through blog posts that are giving you trouble is to get a little tipsy before you finish them. So that's what I did. Man, these ideas are shitty, aren't they? A "list of resources"? C'mon. Fuck, dude. I'm so tired of this.
86. Share a skill you recently learned and how you learned it.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I learned how to make quiche.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: I learned how to make quiche.
87. Compare two different products and pick a winner.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Early 2010 Joe says that Jersey Shore is better than The Real World, and 2022 Joe is having a tough time disagreeing. But WOW holy shit is that answer anticlimactic. Compare two products? That's your final big idea for the blog?! Are you serious BlogTyrant?!?! FUCK YOU.
Has this been done before on PoYB?: Early 2010 Joe says that Jersey Shore is better than The Real World, and 2022 Joe is having a tough time disagreeing. But WOW holy shit is that answer anticlimactic. Compare two products? That's your final big idea for the blog?! Are you serious BlogTyrant?!?! FUCK YOU.
Serious, man, fuck you, you stupid fucking random blog bullshitter website thing. What a goddamn waste of everyone's time, mine and yours. This was stupid. I am so sorry to waste your time with this terrible 3000th blog post. If I were to rank all 3000 of PoYB's blog posts from #1 to #3000, then this one would probably be about #2984.
Anyway, here is the final count: Out of the 87 ideas presented by BlogTyrant as "FRESH NEW IDEAS" for a blog to try out, Puke on Your Birthday has ALREADY done:
84/87 IDEAS
Which means BlogTyrant can fuck off and die. What a goddamn waste of time. Like, why did I even need to go to a third-party blog to learn how to blog? Haven't we all been doing this for long enough? Can't I just come up with 87 new ideas on my own?
For real?
Okay, here are 87 new ideas for blog posts. I promise I will get around to all 87 of these sometime in the next 3000 posts.
- Find an old article from The Northeast Times about kids drinking in the woods and comment on it
- Top Five Reasons That Guys Send Dick Pics
- Ranking every Titus Andronicus song
- Weezer vs. the idea of "fan expectations"
- Thoughts on the idea of fasting
- I dunno, some bullshit about Reba, probably making up some fictional backstory for a random extra you might see in the background
- A fake recipe that I'll present as real
- Another blog post about how much I hate dogs
- Ranking the six heroes of Big Hero 6. Spoiler alert, the tall nerdy chick with the big glasses is #1, since she is hottest, and yes I am not ashamed to say that this movie that I'm going to write about is a cartoon
- A The Night That We... post about when I was photographed naked while holding an empty keg over my head
- Take a picture of a car with a bunch of bumper stickers on it and rate the bumper stickers
- Some type of fictional story that incorporates the line: "bartenders are the sacred keepers of the secret lives" and so on and so on
- Top Five Worst Foods
- Get Mandy to finally write her Man It Feels like Space Again review
- Get Drew P. to finally write his How Sad, How Lovely review
- Get Drew A. to finally write his Jailbreak review
- Rewrite the tossed off Muppet Family Christmas post, since that movie deserves more than the tossed off bullshit I originally gave it
- As I said much earlier in this blog post, before I gave up and phoned it in, I'm going to eventually rewrite the Boy in the Box blog post because that shit sucks on multiple levels
- Reprint this article I found from the Collegian that features a student complaining about how some other kids were playing with a dildo in the middle of the local Chinese restaurant (no link, because I want to save the surprise for when I get around to writing about it)
- Not sure if this is a good idea but I'm going to email John Hinckley Jr.
- Record Club reviews the Bruce Willis album
- Ranking my children from best to worst
- Revisiting the mall
- Let's play Marry, Fuck, Kill
- A definitive ranking of my favorite movies of all time, a list which has been a long time coming
- Record my talking about ___ for two hours straight
- Make a list that has 10,000 items
- Finally give an account of what really happened at *****'s wedding
- Rank every horse in the stables next door (spoiler: Walter is last)
- Finally start that series of interviews where I interview people about their favorite music (leaning toward Favorite Song, but it could be Favorite Album) (also, the interview series is going to be called "Scratched into Our Souls")
- Also start an interview series in which I interview people about their favorite bars, interviews that would take place at those bars that the interviewees choose as their favorite (the interview series is going to be called "Cheers to You")
- Actually interview a real famous person
- A summer of reading along to Infinite Jest
- Wiping: standing or sitting?
- Blog series chronicling a "year of holidays," celebrating a holiday every day of the year
- Reviews of restaurants in Northeast Philadelphia, especially the ones my parents and their peers are afraid to ever visit due to a light racism
- Get Kev to write something
- Get Mike to rewrite all the posts that he deleted back in the day
- Climb the Burholme water tower and take pictures
- Post a video of Burholme (the band)'s concerts
- maybe
- watch
- another
- episode
- of
- Reba
- ...?
- Continue to never post any pictures of my children
- Finally finish Never Seen It, one day, maybe
- Never finish The Albums That Matter, probably
- Finally publish the conversation between Nate and Joe about the 1975's Notes on a Conditional Form, which is still happening, years later
- Man, this is hard... maybe BlogTyrant was right to include some awful ideas like "talk about blog traffic"
- I did one of these "here's everything I will write about soon" posts in 2010, and the only thing I never got around to at that time was talking about Kesha, so I guess I should write about Kesha (to start, she hasn't used the dollar sign in her name since 2014)
- Finally reveal where I work, but probably not till after I retire (but maybe not even then, don't wanna lose that sweet sweet pension)
- Do something for our 5000th blog post that has nothing to do with BlogTyrant
- Ranking the Top Five Anonymous Comments on Puke on Your Birthday Posts
- Go back and make sure all the write-ups for all the cancelled indie rock bands have new introductions affixed to them, since we don't delete stuff on PoYB, we just apologize
- Go back and make sure that I fix all the times I meant to write "led" but accidentally wrote "lead," a mistake that has probably happened a thousand times so far, sorry to all the pendants out there who cringe every time they see it
- Find out if my eighth grade English teacher is still alive
- Dispatch from the final party at my parents' house
- Dancing on the grave of La Salle University
- More references to the theater kids of La Salle University that cause at least one of them to jump into the comments to talk shit
- A complete list of every named stuff animal in this household (spoiler: about 80% of them are named "Tina" and "Kinny")
- something with global warming
- something I wrote in my head while mowing the lawn
- More forcing Boomers to listen to nü-metal
- Another Never Seen It list after I'm done this one, maybe
- A complete list of words that I have mispronounced my entire life
- More 69 jokes, more 69 in general
- Maybe a blog post referencing all the blog posts that reference other blog post
- and then another blog post that references all the blog posts that reference other blog posts referencing other blog posts, and so on and so forth
- How about an interview with Post Malone
- Visiting Charlie Watts' grave and never apologizing for any of the shit I've talked
- More party ideas, 'cause I got a few, not that I party that much anymore
- Actually listening to Metal Machine Music once, in full
- Get 100 reviews in one week for Record Club
- Document spending the hours of 4 AM to 6 AM actually doing something productive like lifting weights instead of fucking blogging
- Ranking the M&M flavors
- Documenting a visit to a swingers club
- fuck is this list over yet
- Make all 151 of Allison's soups
- Documenting the speakeasy I'm going to start in my basement when I retire
- More videos of me slapping myself in the face, maybe it can be an ongoing series, "Slappy Saturday" or something
- Announcing that Pam is pregnant again, currently, right now, 8451 words into a terrible blog post, and who knows might give birth before I finish this fucking thing
- Something about the Little Library I'm gonna install in my yard
- Ranking everything ever
- I dunno, man, maybe a music review of some sort
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