Monday, September 4, 2017

Joe's New Summer, Day 102: I Have Never Had a BBQ at Graffiti Pier (or, The End of Summer)


It’s finally time to breathe a sigh of relief. The Summer of 2017 is over. At times it was fulfilling, at times it was exhausting, it was almost always interesting. Over the last 102 days, I tried to do something new every day, and even though some could argue that some of my "new" things were cheats, my summer project was ultimately successful. Fuck the haters.

We wrapped it all up today by bringing it full circle. All the way back on Day 2, a few friends and I spent an afternoon drinking some beers on the mysterious Graffiti Pier. It was sitting on the edge of that pier that I felt my summer truly kicked off. Summer stretched out before me, ripe with possibility. It only felt right, then, to bring it all back to Graffiti Pier on Labor Day. To celebrate a summer well-lived.

But was it actually well-lived? I guess. Look, I wish I could be more definitive here and say that this summer was "perfect" or whatever. Surely something I poured so much time into (not only completing these new things, but also spending hours and hours writing about them) had to change me in some way, have some positive impact on my life?

Ultimately, I’m reluctant to admit, it all added up to just some fucking thing that I did, and not much more. Sure, it was cool to say that I have now been to Devil’s Pool, or that I saw Waxahatchee burn through a crazy set at XPN Free at Noon, or be able to recommend a cool little town in Pennsyltucky that has killer pizza. But there were other days that I was just going through the motions. I spun a fidget spinner. I wasted money on a Powerball ticket. I watched fucking Ballers, for christ’s sake.

None of these things meant anything to me, it was just checking off another day of the summer just to do it. The distinction is important. It’s important in life to complete tasks with purpose behind them. I visited Mount Moriah Cemetery because it was important for me to experience firsthand and up close a forgotten part of Philadelphia’s history. But I got a fucking tattoo for no other reason than to just fucking get one. It didn’t make sense. It still doesn’t make sense. It was an empty gesture in service of a cheaply constructed "summer project" that meant nothing to anyone and was documented on a blog that no one reads.

Sometimes, the best times and the meaningful times are moments that happen without planning them. Crashing my bike and surviving, singing karaoke at Les and Doreen’s, eating pizza with family at Taconelli’s, winning quizzo on a rainy Tuesday night in Fishtown, running across the Ben Franklin bridge, having a date night with my wife at our favorite bar, none of these events were chronicled on this blog, because none of it was "new," but each of those moments were important to me, and fulfilling, and fucking meant something. I don’t need some artificial construct of a "New Summer" when things are happening all the time. I don’t need to go out and search for meaning in life when meaning is constantly occurring all around me.

All this to say that I tried to squeeze more meaning out of today’s End of Summer BBQ than was actually there. It just ended up being a pleasant day in strange confines with people whom I love.

And that’s okay! Not every day is going to bring something new. There are going to be days in my life that are boring and uneventful. Some days are going to be awful. Some days I’ll plan to do something I’ve never done and it’ll all go to shit. It’s all good.

If this summer has taught me anything, it’s that I need to do a better job of appreciating my life for what it is, and stop obsessing over what my life could be. This summer especially just felt like an endless series of forced, so-called "life experiences," but really I need to just step back and enjoy life as it is. That’s not to say that I shouldn’t strive for self-improvement (there’s certainly room for plenty of that at this point), but I need to stop trying to force change just for the sake of change. There has to be a reason for it all. I lost the thread a bit this summer. Consider it noted.

If you’re out there reading this—thank you. This ultimately meaningless endeavor actually required some daily dedication, and even though I’m glad it’s over and it seems stupid in retrospect, I’m still proud of this blog, and the work I put into it. And I want you to know I appreciate you reading, however few of you there are.

Summer 2017 is over, and so is this blog. I’m looking forward to a nice, long autumn filled with Halloween parties we always have, reading books I’ve already read, drinking the same beers I drink every weekend, and hanging out with the same family and friends that I see all the time. See y’all out there.

Love,
Joey

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Day 101: I Have Never Compiled a “Philly Bucket List”


The new stuff I did this summer didn’t necessarily involve things in Philly, but it ended up being me exploring a lot of the city anyway. Even after all the new places and activities and food and bars and good times I discovered in Philly this year, there’s still plenty left to do after the summer’s over. Here’s some stuff that I’d like to do, even after summer is all wrapped up.

I symbolically listed 102 items on the list for the 102 days of summer every year (well, until 2020, which will have 110 days of summer).

All these things to do are things that can only be done within Philly. I’m not going to blog about it, but I’d love to cross all these things off the list by the end of next summer!

102 Things I Still Need to Do in Philadelphia
  1. Wait in line for a while to get some ‘za at Pizzeria Beddia, which was recently ranked as the best pizza in the world
  2. Run the Philly Half Marathon without a bib, which I plan on doing this November 18th, because I really want to run another half marathon, but I certainly don’t want to drop one hundred goddamn dollars just for the chance to run a lot
  3. Visit the Rodin Museum, which is probably the only museum I haven’t been to yet on the Parkway. Okay, I technically haven’t been to this Barnes, on the Parkway, either. I was at the Barnes before it moved to this location, so I wanna see if it’s the same
  4. Escape the Room, because that’s a thing now, and I really thought about doing it this summer but just never got around to it (apparently there is a pretty good one on Passyunk Ave. somewhere)
  5. Eat a Moroccan dinner at Marrakesh, a secret restaurant in an alleyway off of South Street
  6. Discover the Whispering Benches
  7. Hit up Donna’s in Port Richmond for their famous karaoke (if you can find a favorite song that isn’t in Polish)
  8. Check out the Monkey Club, which I didn’t even know existed until recently, and seems (from what I’ve read) to hit Joey’s sweet spot between being cheap and being cool and being completely unknown
  9. Also check out some of the quasi-secret speakeasies like Franklin Mortgage (not really a secret), Ranstead Room (hard to find so closer to a secret), and Vesper (you have to say a password, so a bit more of a secret)
  10. Drink at every bar featured in the Bar Code column on Philly.com, I haven’t been to Jack’s Famous Bar, Evil Genius, Dean’s Bar, Scotty’s, and Stateside Distillery, et al (though I was actually at Les & Doreen’s while the author of this column was there writing about it, so there’s that)
  11. Also drink at Chuck’s Alibi, the bar at Five Points in Fox Chase, which has seen better days, and was also the bar sponsor of my Dad’s softball beer league when he was my age
  12. Visit Bartram’s Garden in Southwest Philly, because I’m glad to know there is at least one small section of Southwest Philly that is actually pleasant and doesn’t look like it’s been run over a train
  13. Eat those famous Port Richmond meatballs at Romano’s ("famous" in that they’ve been open for like two weeks, but ya gotta support your local businesses, right?)
  14. Eat a roast pork from John’s Roast Pork instead of a cheesesteak, because it’s said to be the best roast pork sandwich in the city too (I mean, it’s in the name), but also because the sandwiches are quicker to make than cheesesteaks so you get to skip that brutal line
  15. Sample some gelato from Capogiro, which was named best "ice cream" in the world by National Geographic, which is just dumb because it’s not ice cream, but I’m gonna try it anyway
  16. Finally get to Rooster Soup Co., a diner which gives 100% of its profits to a local shelter
  17. Complete more of my journey to eat every worthy cheesesteak in the city by eating at Shank’s (by the Delaware River), Maxx’s (as seen in Creed, and also voted #1 by Playboy(?!)), and Phillip’s for an "Old Fashioned," which has grilled tomatoes and peppers.
  18. Also eat at Johnny Hot’s, which I ride my bike past every day, for a breakfast of a "Philly combo"
  19. Get a Jim’s cheesesteak and wrap it with a large slice of pizza from Lorenzo’s and call it a Philly Taco
  20. Eat the veal with red gravy at Ralph’s, a bucket list item that I cribbed from Craig Laban when he answered my question earlier in the summer
  21. Stuff myself with BBQ at Sweet Lucy's BBQ in the NEast
  22. Check out the Flower Show, which is not something I necessarily want to do but it’s a Philly traditional so maybe I should at some point
  23. Complete the Naked Bike Ride, which I will be doing this Saturday, butt naked, so try to avoid the city that day if you don’t want to see my grower-not-a-shower riding down Market Street
  24. Complete an "actual" Broad Street Run, which starts at Cheltenham Ave. where Broad St. starts, goes all the way down to the far end of the Navy Yard, and is very unofficial (it’s about thirteen miles)
  25. Also run the length of the El from 69th Street to Frankford Terminal, just to say I did it
  26. Explore the abandoned apartment buildings at the Navy Yard
  27. Dine at Vedge, which is super fancy and possibly healthy?
  28. Swim at John B. Kelly Pool, an allegedly very nice public pool next to the Please Touch Museum, one that I was totally planning on swimming at this summer but I dropped the ball and waited too long
  29. Check out the Freshwater Mussel Hatchery, which might be a little boring but I love eating mussels so surely I may also love learning how they live?
  30. Go early to Lawrence Street Seafood Co. and get some fresh seafood, I’m talking like go there at 4 AM and then cook a seafood feast for breakfast
  31. Speaking of seafood, I still wanna do the All You Can Eat Crabs deal at Toll Man Joe’s before it gets too cold
  32. Drink at all the bars in Port Richmond I haven’t gotten to yet, since it’s important to me to know my neighborhood well, so drink at Cathy’s Crossing, Bobby T’s, Sean Thorton’s, Alina’s, Sam’s Place, New Wave Cafe, The Crazy Leprechaun, and I think that’s it?!
  33. Oh, and also drink at Veterans’ Boxing Association, which is a private club with a bar and the bartender at Stanzak’s gave us permission to just use his name to get it
  34. End up at Cheerleaders one night, because it’s the last of the big strip clubs I’ve never been to (I don’t particularly want to, but I’m a completionist)
  35. Order a dessert pizza at Max Brenner’s
  36. Get to the top of City Hall (but only legally)
  37. Take a lame segway tour of Philly
  38. Find a music store that will buy my CDs, even if it’s for a penny on the dollar (or maybe I’ll try to donate them to the library)
  39. Work out with the November Project
  40. See a concert at The Fire or Connie’s Ric Rac
  41. Drink at some of the other breweries in the city, including Crime and Punishment, Brewery ARS, Wissahickon, and St. Benjamin’s
  42. Participate in First Friday, where you can get into the art galleries for free
  43. Stand in line and order some breakfast from Spread Bagel, which is apparently good enough to stand in line for
  44. Relax at Cira Green
  45. Attend a Night Market (next one is at the Italian Market in October)
  46. Drink some La Colombe coffee in Fishtown, even though I hate coffee, maybe they’ll have something to drink that splits the difference
  47. See a show at the Kimmel Center (the Property Brothers are there on Wednesday... okay, see a show at the Kimmel Center AFTER this week)
  48. Eat a meal at Bing Bing Dim Sum (I’ve never had Dim Sum at all)
  49. Try to find the secret tunnel at the Packer Ave. Holiday Inn
  50. Play chess in either Clark Park or Campbell Square
  51. Eat an authentic colonial meal at City Tavern
  52. Catch a foul ball or home run ball at Citizen’s Bank Park for once in my goddamn life please
  53. Enjoy some John’s Water Ice instead of Rita’s on a hot summer day
  54. Tailgate at the Eagles game, and continue to tailgate throughout the whole game (with a TV in the parking lot)
  55. Complete a "train crawl" on the Paoli-Thorndale line for SEPTA Regional Rail (details, though they need to be updated a bit with new bars, can be found HERE)
  56. Hunt for some cougars at Bob Pantano’s WOGL Dance Party (not technically Philly, but close enough to make an exception)
  57. Explore FDR Park a little more, including discovering whether there is a bar at the golf course lodge, rent some paddle boats, and check out the skatepark to see if the video game level on Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 was accurate
  58. Eat the famous Snapper Soup at Olde Bar
  59. Sing at "Live Band Karaoke" at Fergie’s
  60. Figure out how to get to the abandoned SEPTA platform for the never-used Arch St. stop
  61. Play mini golf at Franklin Square, and kick the ass of whomever I’m playing
  62. Try to enjoy liquor at Philadelphia Distilling
  63. Act like a tourist and take a tour on one of those double-decker buses
  64. Rock climb at Go Vertical
  65. Put my bike on the rack on the front of a SEPTA bus while I ride the bus
  66. Organize a block party on Clearfield Street
  67. Eat outside at the Jamaican Jerk Hut on South Street
  68. Read a book about Things to Do in Philly even though this list should suffice right?!
  69. Attend the Kensington Kinetic Sculptor Derby
  70. Eat a sandwich or three from Paesano’s
  71. Finish eating my way through Reading Terminal (while avoiding another chocolate-covered onion for the rest of my life)
  72. Actually get onto one of the docks on Boathouse Row, just to see the city from that specific vantage point
  73. Eat an ice cream sandwich from Weckerly’s
  74. Drink an Assassin’s Handbook cocktail at Friday Saturday Sunday
  75. Watch a Quidditch Match in Chestnut Hill, even though, come on
  76. Bike on Kelly Drive
  77. Attend a Soul game, your 2016-2017 WORLD CHAMPIONS
  78. Try a Pizzazz pizza, not gonna lie I stole this one from Zagat, looks interesting
  79. See one of those shows at the Mann Center where the Philly orchestra plays the score to a movie while you’re watching the actual movie
  80. Cheer on strangers at the Penn Relays
  81. Call a sports radio station, ahhhhhhh I hate sports radio with a passion
  82. Eat some fried shrimp from Sid Booker’s, a North Philly mainstay, and something I somehow never did while at nearby La Salle
  83. Check out the Wagner Free Institute of Science
  84. Competitively throw axes at Urban Axes, and of course BYOB
  85. Explore the John Heinz National Wildlife Refuge
  86. Find the Cave of Kelpius
  87. Learn some shit at the Philadelphia Science Festival
  88. Listen to some live jazz at Chris’ Jazz Cafe, which we’ve avoided in the past because Pam broke up with her ex-boyfriend there, but it’s been almost eight years, I think it’s time
  89. Find a way to get to the infamous abandoned pool in the Water Works building
  90. Get to Loco Pez for $1 taco night
  91. Walk through the Laurel Hill Cemetery and look down at the Schuylkill while up there
  92. Find the watery gravestones under the Betsy Ross Bridge
  93. Participate in a DiBruno Bros. private cheese tasting
  94. See a free concert at the Curtis Institute
  95. Witness in person the subway breakdancers on the BSL that I always see on Instagram posts
  96. Walk the Mural Mile(s)
  97. Go to a Reddit meet-up for the /r/philadelphia subreddit
  98. Go to Chinatown Square Food Hall and see what’s good
  99. Tell Philly Jesus to fuck off for his Old Testament views because he should at least be spouting New Testament views if he’s gonna be charging suckers to get pictures with this fraud
  100. Visit the new LOVE Park, whenever it opens (maybe next year?)
  101. Take a Hidden City Philadelphia tour wherever
  102. Drink a bottle of wine by the banks of the Schuylkill River while watching the sun go down
Alright, fuck it. I hate the idea of someone finding this list and using it as their own Philly Bucket List. Please note that the above 102 items are things that I personally have never done. There’s a lot of worthy shit that I’ve already done and weren’t included on this Philly Bucket List for that reason only. So here are 102 more items for a Philly Bucket List, things that I’ve done either this summer or prior.
  1. Go ahead and run up those Rocky Steps
  2. Actually go into the Museum of Art too
  3. Eat a cheesesteak from Pat’s or Geno’s, preferably late night, preferably drunk
  4. Then get one of the city’s true "best" cheesesteaks at John’s or Joe’s
  5. Get drunk before a Phillies game and have a security guard threaten to kick you out
  6. Eat a soft pretzel from a guy selling pretzels out of his shopping cart
  7. Go the oldest bar in Philly, McGillin’s
  8. Eat a Schmitter at McNally’s in Chestnut Hill
  9. Eat the chicken sandwich at Federal Donuts
  10. Explore Devil’s Pool
  11. Go to every tourist-y thing in the historic section of Philly, including the Liberty Bell, Constitution Center, and Independence Hall
  12. Roll your eyes at Magic Gardens when you see all the basic bitches taking their most recent profile pictures
  13. Get a drink at SkyGarten
  14. Run the Schuylkill River Path
  15. Order fried chicken wings from David’s Mai Lai Wah at three in the morning
  16. Explore Reading Terminal, eat as much as you can
  17. But especially, eat a roast pork sandwich from DiNic’s
  18. Roll a keg into Day Dreams
  19. Call 911 and talk to a miserable 911 calltaker
  20. Relax at John F. Collins Park
  21. Stretch with free yoga at Race Street Pier
  22. Dress appropriately for Hop Sing Laundromat
  23. See the Mummers Parade and continue the party on Two Street afterward and try not to get into a fight with those dead-eyed drunk South Philly mutants
  24. Go to Les & Doreen’s for karaoke night
  25. Order your dough a day in advance and eat pizza at Taconelli’s
  26. Drink a "Trash Can" at Tiki
  27. Enjoy ice cream at Franklin Fountain
  28. Take a tour at Philadelphia Brewing Company and drink free beer afterward
  29. Drink on top of an old school at Bok Bar
  30. Spend a late night at the Republican
  31. Go to Frankford Hall non-peak hours and drink lots of beer and play jenga and chill around a fire and try not to black out too many times in your life there
  32. Listen to a killer soundtrack of indie rock music while you eat brunch at Honey’s Sit-and-Eat
  33. Splurge for a dinner at one of Craig Laban’s four-bell restaurants (I would probably recommend Fork but you do you)
  34. Travel past Rocky’s house in Kensington
  35. Check out the Pizza Museum while you eat pizza at Pizza Brain
  36. Eat deep-fried peanut butter and jelly at South Philadelphia Tap Room
  37. Chill outside with your favorite canned fish at American Sardine Bar
  38. Eat some pizza at one of the few redeeming parts of Northeast Philadelphia, Vince’s Pizza
  39. Run the Broad Street Run
  40. Order crab fries at Chickie and Pete’s
  41. Pay an outrageous cover just to drink past 2 AM and dance at Voyeur in the Gayborhood
  42. Attend a Free at Noon concert at XPN
  43. Attend the St. Patrick’s Day Parade
  44. Check out Eastern State Penitentiary in the winter, spring, or summer (to actually learn something and avoid the average haunted house shit in the fall)
  45. Wear rainbow clothing and support the LGBTQ community at the Pride Parade
  46. Run across the Ben Franklin Bridge (get ready to run uphill for about a mile and a half)
  47. Order a citywide special anywhere, but maybe at Bob & Barbara’s during happy hour for the cheapest in the city
  48. Stick around at Bob & Barbara’s on a Thursday night for a drag show
  49. Drink out of a keg in Pennypack Park
  50. Get into a lighthearted verbal argument at Tavern on Camac about whether Russell Crowe was a worthy singer in the movie adaptation of Les Misérables.
  51. Drink a tall PBR and eat a cheesesteak-and-a-half at Oscar’s
  52. Play Connect Four at Drury Beer Garden
  53. Drink Hillbilly Gatorade at Percy Street BBQ
  54. Get a tattoo at Art Machine
  55. Spend one late night in Manayunk and then spend the rest of your life avoiding that perpetually college-aged crowd
  56. Eat a Coconut Club at Memphis Taproom and marvel that, no, that really isn’t bacon on there, it’s coconut
  57. Drive through Strawberry Mansion, just once, just for like 20 minutes
  58. Comment on Crossingbroad.com, and defend yourself against the racist ignorant trolls
  59. Get stuck in traffic on 95 and on 76 and on 676
  60. Explore the abandoned cemetery at Mount Moriah
  61. Eat a Wit or Witowski cheesesteak at Gaul & Co. Malt House, made with kielbasa instead of steak
  62. Get a six-pack from a supermarket and remember that, yes, you are still in Pennsylvania
  63. Dance at the "700 Club," or try to even move a few inches even
  64. See a show at Union Transfer
  65. Miniature Golf and drink many beers while you do so at Keystone Mini-Golf
  66. Visit the Betsy Ross House
  67. Follow a ghost tour in Old City
  68. Drink an extremely trashy drink, the 190 Octane, at the extremely trashy Fat Tuesday, while you sit outside and overlook the extremely trashy South Street
  69. Drink a few beers upstairs at Tattooed Mom, also on South Street
  70. Eat wings at Moriarty’s (the most famous?), Byrne’s (my family’s favorite), and Franklin’s (my personal favorite)
  71. Get on SEPTA without paying
  72. Take the Broad Street Line down to the Phillies game and bring those forties for the ride
  73. Explore the Please Touch Museum and the Franklin Institute
  74. Get freaked out by the 100-pound colon at the Mutter Museum
  75. Join the rest of the surburbanites at Spruce Street Harbor Park
  76. Drink a Fishtown Iced Tea at Interstate Drafthouse
  77. See an improv show, somewhere, anywhere, just get it over with
  78. Eat a Hangover Hoagie at Coffee House Too after a long night of drinking
  79. Sled down the hill at Burholme Park
  80. Visit as many Parks on Tap as you can
  81. Do an self-guided audio tour of all the cool art along the Ben Franklin Parkway
  82. Walk through the intersection of K&A, or better yet stand there for an hour waiting for a bus
  83. Look at the legit Christmas light displays on various South Philly blocks
  84. BYOB to a concert at the First Unitarian Church
  85. Eat an after-hours breakfast at Melrose Diner (maybe after the Republican closes)
  86. Do a complimentary shot at seven in the morning on your birthday at Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar
  87. Give a dollar to a street saxophonist playing the Rocky song ("Gonna Fly Now"), no matter how badly he is fucking up the tune
  88. Go to Paddy’s Pub and as tempting as it may be, do NOT discuss It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  89. Listen to authentic Irish music while you enjoy a pint of your favorite beer at Fergie’s
  90. Even though it is now filled with drunk college suburban losers with salmon colored shorts and short tempers, you still have to go to at least one Center City Sips, just once, just to say you did
  91. Tailgate at FDR for a Phillies game instead of paying $18 for a parking lot
  92. Eat the lamb shoulder at Zahav
  93. Play disc golf with your friends and a case of beer at Sedgley Woods
  94. Join one of Philly’s Beer Runners clubs, and if it has to be Fishtown Beer Runners, so be it, even though those fuckers are a bunch of chump-ass jabronis
  95. Just go to the Pennsport Pub and don’t ask questions
  96. Go to the parade when a sports team wins a championship, and don’t worry, you’ll be able to check this one off your list at some point in your lifetime, hopefully (and no, the fucking Villanova Pussycats parade doesn’t count, they are not a Philly team and they represent everything that is terrible about the suburbs)
  97. Eat a burger at Good Dog, Sketch Burger, and Fountain Porter, and then argue about which is best
  98. View the Kurt Vile mural from the El
  99. Buy a sex toy at Condom Kingdom
  100. Get a drink at some of the best bars in Philadelphia: Locust Rendezvous, Fishtown Tavern, Khyber Pass Pub, the Saint, Bait and Switch, Krupa’s, really just find a bar that works for you, find your home
  101. Get your picture in front of the LOVE statue (whenever it comes back)
  102. Enjoy a few hours drinking beer at Graffiti Pier
Alright, what did I miss?

Love,
Joey

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Day 100: I Have Never [Miscellaneous]


Summer is winding down, and I’m pretty much out of time to do all the things I wanted to do this summer. I have some regrets, sure. Like, there’s so many more worthy ways to spend my time than watch Ballers. I could’ve gone skydiving, but instead I drunkenly made an ass of myself on Facebook Live. Oh boy.

But there are still a few days left. Today, Pam and I had absolutely zero plans, so we did a few new things. Nothing exciting, but most of it new. Gotta squeeze out what’s left of summer while we can.

For breakfast, I waited in line for some Philly Style Bagels. According to their website, the bagels are specially boiled in a mixture of water and beer. I do like beer! Pam and I got bagels with cream cheese and bacon. They were... okay! I didn’t hate it, but it was small, and the way they cook it made it tough to chew. Not worth the price. Damn you gentrification!

After breakfast we strapped the bike rack onto the Kia and drove our bikes to Forbidden Drive. Our bikes aren’t very mountain-ready, and the gravel paths weren’t ideal for our city bikes, but we rode for a while anyway. It was probably the most relaxing (sober) bike ride I’ve had so far. Riding through the woods on such a cool, crisp day, birds chirping, the water slowly ambling by next to us. It felt like an autumnal preview, honestly.

We just beat the rain on the way back, and by the time we arrived home it was pouring. While taking a break to dry off, I caught a fly with one hand, Mr. Miyagi style. You kinda had to be there.
Some of these new things are a stretch. Hang in there! Summer’s almost over, you only have to read about 1500 more words from me this year!

After that, we took a Lyft to Monk’s, a bar that I incredibly have never been to. It’s owned by Fergie of Fergie’s, and it definitely had some Fergie’s vibes if you exchange Ireland for Belgium. I had so many mussels that I lost track. I didn’t realize that mussels were a Belgian delicacy, as I’m horrible with geography—it does have a coastline!

When we got home I was pretty drunk, but not drunk enough to start Season 3 of Narcos. I’ve never been a huge fanboy of that show, especially now that the villain from the first two seasons is done. But motherfucking Sav from Degrassi is in this new season, so count me all in.

I fell asleep during some of the episode, but that’s not new at all.

After this, there’s not much left of the summer of 2017. I have a long post scheduled for tomorrow, and then on Monday we wrap it all up with a BBQ where it all began. Look for a couple more posts in the next two days, and then we’ll call it a summer. Thanks for taking the journey with me this far, humble reader.

Love,
Joey

Friday, September 1, 2017

Day 99: I Have Never Eaten Caviar


I ate caviar and I have nothing to say about it. I’m burnt out. Is the summer over yet?
Fuck it, here are five famous fictional rich people that would definitely eat caviar, except with each character's face replaced with my face.

This is what this summer have devolved into. I can’t wait till Tuesday when everything I do is something I’ve already done and I don’t have to blog about any of it.

Fuck.






I'm so sorry.

Love,
Joey