Teenage Dream, Meagan

My opinion of Teenage Dream according to the first 30 seconds of every song:

1. The title track is perfect. Teens today still like it. I hope my five-year-old doesn't ask about the lyrics too closely for a few years yet.
2. "T.G.I.F." — I never went to this party but I always wanted to. It starts with maxing out credit cards then skinny dipping then a ménage à trois then breaking the law. Next Friday they hunt the ultimate game: man.
3. "California Gurls" — Why was everything in the video covered in cotton candy? "Fine fresh fierce," no thank you. Too sticky.
4. "Firework" — I have three kids, and now I feel like a plastic bag every day of my life.
5. "Peacock" — I don't know why this song has an explicit rating, it's just a nice song about a bird.
6. "Circle the Drain" — who cares about this song. Avril Lavigne should have sung it. Crazy that Katy Perry married Legolas, huh? Didn't see that coming.
7. "The One That Got Away" — Katy Perry that's enough songs about high school.
8. "E.T." — I watched at least five seasons of Supernatural, and there were no aliens, so I cry foul. Otherwise, good song.
9. "Who Am I Living For?" — not for me to say, Katy. Bad song.
10. "Pearl" — "She is a pyramid," "she was a hurricane," "now she's just a gust of wind," "she could be the Statue of Liberty"—next time I teach metaphors to fourth graders, I'm using this song.
11. "Hummingbird Heartbeat" — finally back to the bird songs. Just a nice song about a bird.
12. "Not Like the Movies" — what a bummer to end on, Katy.

Midnights, Meagan

From 2008 to 2010, I had an hour-long bus commute, and every day I would spend it sleeping to In Rainbows by Radiohead. It would drown out the traffic and bus noises with the sweet dulcet sounds of Thom Yorke. My runner-up album was the Twilight soundtrack.

A perfect sleep album needs: little to no variation in vocal sounds. Bonus points for breathiness. No sudden changes in melody or rhythm. An overall vibe of being recorded underwater. 

Midnights checks all of the above. Taylor Swift has done it. 9/10 to sleep to. Loses points for f-bombs, so I can't use it to put my kids to bed. Would sleep to again.

1000 gecs, Meagan

I've been making Meagan listen to 1000 gecs on and off for the last few months, and this week I pressed her to write a review for the blog. I transcribed her comments in the car this morning, synthesized and condensed them for publication here. If the content isn't exactly word-for-word, it captures the overall sentiment pretty clearly. —Nate

I can't tell if I like this or I've just been worn down. I'm tapping my toes, but I would never put this on for any reason. Listening to this makes me feel like I'm listening to "Baby Shark." I won't say it's not art, but it's bad. It's all bad.