Good evening, dear reader. You are currently,
right now, reading a blog on which
I (and my beautiful wife!) write about music. I hope you are reading this because
you are interested in our takes on music, what our opinions are of
music, etc. Either that, or I suppose you lost a bet, or I'm drunk
right now holding a gun to your head or something. But let's assume the
bestcase scenario: you have at least one tiny morsel of interest in my
musical tastes.
Well, then, I should think it'd make sense that you should have some
understanding on which music I like, no? Or else, when I shit on Meghan
Trainor, how would you know what to compare her to in my mind?
So the most efficient way of doing that, then, is to tell you my
favorite songs. It's a task I've been putting off for most of my life,
compiling this list, until now. I've carefully crafted a list, in order,
detailing what songs make me tick.
Of course, this list is stupid. This shit changes day to day, because
that's how music is. Certain tunes hit you in different directions on
different days. In at least 25 occasions in my life, I’ve been drunk in
the car with Pam, and a song comes on, and I'll claim "This is
unequivocally in the Top 20 songs of all time!" And I’m sure in 24 of
those occasions, the song in question did not make the Top 20 on this
list.
This shit changes constantly! Even when the list was completed, and
the next day I decide to start typing this introduction, I had to make a
bunch of changes. It never ends. By the time I’m done typing this
goddamn thing up, it’ll be all wrong.
So let's make it clear. This list was compiled and completed on
9/2/16. It won’t be published till afterward, I'm sure, but that's the
date I chose this list. If I don't complete typing it for weeks, and
shit changes, I won't be noting that in any of the descriptions. Sorry!
I’m doing my best here!
And let's talk about my descriptions of each song, because it ties closely to
why
in the first place I like these particular songs. It just comes
naturally that one likes particular music because they associate it with
certain memories or certain positive experiences in their lives. Pam's
and my wedding song, for instance, is going to score higher on a musical
preference scale to me just because it means so much to me for
nostalgic reasons. There's nothing you can do about that, folks.
So I apologize in advanced. I don't want to just list these songs, I
want to talk about them briefly. But in doing so, I'll probably be going
back to a constant refrain of: "This is what this song means TO ME."
So it's personal, and I hope that doesn't get boring. I'm doing to try
to make each song's appeal broad, but I can't promise anything.
On that note, let's begin. And in the spirit of being indecisive,
let's begin with some Honorable Mentions, those also-rans that I'd feel
like a heel excluding. These fifteen songs, presented in alphabetical
order, make a lean, mean mixtape all to themselves, and are some of the
best songs ever recorded... just not good enough to make the All Time list.
Honestly, listening to this song right now, I’m wondering why it
didn’t make the Top 100. But I’m wondering this because I am currently
six Hamm’s Special Lights into my night, and feeling good, and that’s
what this song is all about. Never before has there been such a
pitch-perfect description in song about that indestructible feeling you
get when you have a buzz. When you’re on top of the world, all the wine
really does feel like it belongs to you.
I’ve never been a diehard Replacements fan, but I always felt that
this song was the closest they ever got to writing a thesis statement.
Basically, they are saying that they, or rather we, are not meant for
this world. But that’s a good thing, because if you’re not a part of the
rest of the world, then you are
required to follow no rules. In other
words, when people shit on you, you are free. Always thought that was a
pretty optimistic sentiment, and thus, we have a good song.
Of all the hats Of Montreal has worn over their now fourteen-LP career,
they miiiiiight have gotten it right the first time, with their goofy
indie-pop debut,
Cherry Peel. There’s something so innocent and
pure about it, like every song is a tiny burst of happiness. There’s no
song in their entire discography that’s happier than this one, and
these days, it feels good to be happy.
It’s pretty clear to some in 2016 that the Beatles won the war, but I
often wonder which side of the battlefield I would have been had I been
born 30 years earlier. There’s no doubt that the Beatles have
objectively better music, but the older I get, the more I realize that
the Stones are just fucking cooler. I think if I was sixteen-year-old Joe
K*** in 1974 instead of 2004, I probably would’ve have thought the
Beatles were a bunch of pussies, and Mick Jagger was the coolest
motherfucker on the planet, followed by Keith Richards. At no point are
they cooler than in this song. The guitar hook transcends time, and
Jagger’s voice is tough as nails.
I was only thirteen years old when this song came out. I know, it’s no
excuse, but I didn’t realize how great it was at the time. My favorite
band at the time was Alien Ant Farm. I was a late bloomer in
appreciating good music. It’s nothing to be ashamed of (please remember
this when Sum 41 shows up later on this list). But my point is that I
missed that whole early-'00s garage rock revival thing, so it wasn’t until maybe a
decade later that this song hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe if I
wasn’t so young and dumb back then, this great achievement of a tune
wouldn’t be chilling in the Honorable Mentions section.
I had a series of musical events that occurred in my life during the
mid-'00s that transformed my musical taste in an irrevocable way. We
might touch on some others later, but one of them was a mix CD I
received from someone who was very important in my life for about two
months, and not important since. But in the act of giving me this mix
CD, she made her imprint on my life all the same. I don’t think of her
when I hear this song, because the “her” part, like I said, isn’t
important. What’s important was the door that this song opened up. I saw
on the other side of that door a whole ‘nother world of music. Been an
indie rock kid ever since.
Alright, look, don’t get your hopes up from that last entry. Not
every song is gonna be sappy and important. Take this tune, for example.
I’m not going to lie, I love this song because
Lost played this song
in the hatch. That’s probably it. I loved that show. I love this song. Simple as that.
At the end of the day, this is a great song. Some of the best songs
in history sympathize with the enemy, so don’t let the fact that this is
a Confederate anthem (pretty much) distract you. Don’t let the lyric
book distract you either, because the family absolutely spells their last name wrong. Mostly, when I hear this song, I think of the elder adults
on my dad’s side of the family, mainly my dad and two uncles, who make
it pretty clear that the Band was the shit back in the day, and
The Last Waltz is holy to them. My uncles would have a tough time deciphering a lot of my Top 100 list, but here is their contribution.
Here we come to the first of what I imagine is many of “Joe K***’s
College Songs.” I can’t help it. Sometimes the most life-changing time
in your life produces the most musical associations. Clearly, PB&J
made an impression on me during the fall of 2007. I remember listening
to this song a lot. I remember drinking to this song a lot. I am still
listening to (and drinking to) this song today.
I got
OK Computer because it was IMPORTANT, according to
whatever music shit I was reading in the winter of 2006. I’m still
getting suckered into acquiring Radiohead albums because they are
“important,” but I usually don’t like whatever internet modem sounds or
James Bond knockoff bullshit they put out.
OK Computer, though.
That’s some good shit. And as a fan of songs with multiple movements, “Paranoid Android” really hit that sweet spot.
It’s okay to like a song sometimes, not because the instruments are on par, but because the song is just fucking
funny.
We follow our protagonist to the family home of his lesbian best
friend, whose father assumes that the protagonist is the boyfriend, much
to our protagonist’s surprise. Many
Three’s Company-type
shenanigans ensue. The music is all there, it’s enjoyable and it’s fun,
but I always chuckle when I hear “A Postcard to Nina” first and
foremost, and you can’t really say that about many songs.
A few songs are on here are going to suffer simply because they are
too recent, and I honestly don’t know if they are going to be a Forever
Song for me. If I were a betting man, I’d bet that “Reality TV” will
indeed be a Forever Song. It’s in and out the door in a bit over two
minutes, but it’s so tight that it packs punch in that short a time.
It’s so fun and tense at the same time. Ask me in ten years and I’ll
probably give this song a number.
Last December,
I had this at the #7 best song of 2015. For the
record, numbers 6-4 did not make this list at all, which I think speaks
to the lasting quality of “Strangers.” I said last year that this is the
“perfect roadtrip song,” and that certainly holds true. The rolling
drums and “do-doooo-do!” choruses suggest endless adventure, which I
find myself going back to again and again while perusing my iPod.
This song is everything that sucks and everything that is awesome
about the Beatles. It’s layered with tracks and tracks of bullshit, of
shit played backward and weird-ass instruments and stupid fucking
Buddhism-lite lyrics. All that shit is stupid, and in the wrong hands
would be borderline unlistenable. But, then again, this
is the Beatles,
and these are not the wrong hands. These are capable hands. And somehow,
the Beatles took the most annoying parts about music as a whole, and
packaged it together to make one fucking BADASS song.
Pam will be quick to point out that, early in our relationship, we
were drunk at a bar, and I found myself drunk enough that I allowed
myself to sing this whole song out loud, no doubt loudly, probably much
to the chagrin of the patrons of Irish Pub. It wasn’t to the chagrin of Pam,
thank god, because it was still in the honeymoon phase, when I could
literally do no wrong (christ, I miss that). But I think about that night whenever I hear this
song, not because I made an ass of myself, but because it is such a
powerful song that it would bring me to sing it out loud in front of
everyone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Check back in the next few days for the next portion of the countdown, which will feature songs 100-81. WOWZA!
