Wuthering Heights, Drew P.

The only music I could confidently name from Charlie XCX going into this week was the song "Boom Clap" from her 2014 sophomore effort SUCKER (which I do like), and I was ready for some fun-times happy pop on this record. This album opens with the ominous staccato notes that make me think of music being played a saw or metal object and pain. The haunting melody comes in, the spoken poem starts, and I feel devastated. The lines

"I thought it would be perfect. I thought 'I want it to be perfect.' Please. Let it be perfect."

and

"Do you see beauty? If there's beauty, say it's enough."

make my heart ache with the feeling of trying to do the next right thing and being good enough. "I think I'm gonna die in this house" screams out over and over and I feel stuck in place looking out seeing where to go and what to do but not being able to move towards the goal.

What a way to start the album. The rest of the songs I liked, there weren't any that were skips for me on my listen throughs. A good chunk of songs made me feel kinetic and want to dance while listening (e.g. "Wall of Sound," "Out of Myself," "Chains of Love"), which in my book makes me say "yeah it's a good song."  

As an aside, reading the tracklist before listening, I thought it would be funny if "Wall of Sound" was a Grateful Dead / Owsley Stanley tribute or even sounded remotely like the Dead, but that was way off base.

Final thoughts: I like this album. A lot. It was more emotional with a depth I could have never predicted. It also had its fun upbeat moments to round it out. I'll keep it in rotation for a while.

hey puke!

holy shit i was not expecting this album for what it was. I think i've listened to House a hundred times this week. I keep putting it on to get through the album and get stuck on repeat just feeling a lot of emotions. it fucked me up coming from a place of still discovering who I am in sobriety and navigating that to come out on the other side. the cliche of feeling like a prisoner of your own making to the drink, wanting things to be perfect (marriage job family etc) and the realization of living in the world youve created for yourself that sucks that you just want to get out of. screaming into your own void of wanting to get out while the ominous BWAHHHHH of reality goes in the background. i dunno. banger start to the album but there was a lot on here that made me emotional. fucking charlie xcx man, whoda thunk it?

also I'm so annoyed that no one submitted Boom Clap for the mixtape this week (myself included)! I had the thought too late and thought well surely someone else will have come up with that! also also I wasn't sure how to format the quotes in there so i just did it as their own paragraphs and figured you the blogmaster would know what to do. 

love you dude,

Drew

Album of the Week: twentyeleven

The idea is to go one level deeper. Instead of having the members of Record Club pick the Album of the Week, let's find people who were merely mentioned in a previous Record Club album review, and let's have them pick the Album of the Week.

Welcome to Week 9 of Two Degrees to Record Club. The penultimate week! Thanks so much to all those who have chosen our album so far. And my deepest apologies to all those who were eligible, but did not get to pick an album this time around, including: Steph Curry, Bill Hader, William Barr and Robert Mueller, Ross Geller, Adrien Brody, Sara's seventh-grade crush, Buffalo Bill, David and his bully sister, Rob Thomas, Malcolm Gladwell, Damon Wayans and David Alan Grier, Bob Newhart, Nathan Fielder, Cousin Pete, the McGillin's karaoke DJ, Nick Foles, basketball player and La Salle Friend Mike Scott, Joe's now-sober friend, Janeane Garofalo, Kevin Malone, Kevin Malone, Randy Mosher, Pam's college music professor, John Waters, Cory Booker, Bob Odenkirk, Mark Badstubner, Gilson's ex, Matt Cord, Rachel Cargle and Dr. Angela Davis, Uncle Pat, Steve Hyden, Newton M. Minnow, Cousins A.J. and Emily, one of the cool middle school girls who had boobs, Zach Braff, Zach Braff, Zach Braff, Zach Braff AND Natalie Portman, Ryan Stiles and Michael McDonald and Sting and Donald Faison and Paul Feig, Colleen Lapowski or Katie McC*** or Katie R****** or Jamie R***** or maybe Steph L****, Curt Schilling and Colin Kaepernick, Danica McKellar, Macauley Culkin and Mitch McConnell, the irritating freshman guitar player, Tyra Banks, Maya neé Cyrus the dog, Shia LeBeouf and Ryan Gosling, the rapist priest, Jojo Siwa, Bill Nighy, David Foster Wallace, Brian McG*****, Frank Sabotka, Rachel's ninth-grade teacher Ms. Johnson, Rachel's best friend, Brian Littrell, anonymous but very real friend, Chuck Eddy, Aunt Sharon and Uncle Ed, grade school country girl, Brit's ex, Nate's young ex-coworker, Pat's Cheeto-eating stripper, Horse Girl, Rebecca Black, Nick Hornby, Brian or Ryan or Michael, Bill O'Reilly, Sam's mother-in-law, Chris Serpentine, Geena Davis, Liam Neeson, Sara's other ex-crush, Toms River David, Loretta, Pat Beverly, Mister John, various Masque chicks, Rachel's high school bullies, Nicholas Cage, and Allison's high school crush. Maybe next time!

Feel free to check out the archives and the playlist, but otherwise, read on to find out where this very, very dumb journey goes next.

WEEK 137 — September 12-18, 2021

What we're listening to this week:

ALBUM: twentyeleven

ARTIST: Sophistafunk

WHO "PICKED" THE ALBUM: Guy Fieri

THE REVIEW HE WAS FEATURED IN: Drew P.'s A Holly Dolly Christmas review

HOW WE GOT HERE: It's been pretty interesting to track the rehabilitation of Guy Fieri's image over the last decade or so. I remember the audible groan emitted from the throats of Port Richmond inhabitants when it was rumored that Fieri opening up a bar/restaurant on Somerset Street (never ended up happening), but at this point, it's like, damn, I could really go for a trash can full of nachos right now.

There's been no shortage of articles about Guy Fieri in the past few years, and the positive press went into overdrive during the pandemic. Charities, a positive attitude, and comfort food all go a long way.

But because of everything written about Guy, it also wasn't too difficult to google around and find out his musical tastes. There was a decent amount to choose from here—it's possible that Guy Fieri is one of those people who "listens to everything," though I'll refrain from framing that negatively (this time only).

However, there was one band in particular that Guy seems to have a particular affinity for. In a 2013 Diners, Drive-ins and Dives episode, a Syracuse waffle restaurant is featured—Funk 'n' Waffles, whose owner is also the frontman of a funk band called Sophistafunk. Apparently Guy liked their music so much that he's kept in touch, and even had this band write the theme song to his other show, Guy's Grocery Games. They are still collaborating.

Anyways, I have no fucking clue if we can trust Fieri's music recommendations in the same way that we can trust his food recommendations. I have never heard of Sophistafunk, and even with the Guy signature of approval, I would probably never listen to them were it not for Record Club. But it's Two Degrees of Record Club this week, and Guy likes this band, so let's do it.

WILL GUY FIERI WRITE A REVIEW: Probably not. Apparently Guy Fieri makes very conscious efforts to stay out of politics, and might take issue with being involved with a blog that is willing to make a case for ACAB and for socialism and so on and so on.

ALBUM RELEASED: July 2, 2011

WHAT GENRE IS THIS: I mean... I assume funk? Am I going to have to eat my words on this one?

TRACKLIST:

1. Listen Up
2. Wil' Out
3. Tell My Baby
4. Gimme Some Space
5. Intimate Affair
6. Lyrical Guide
7. Feels So Good
8. Take the Planet Back
9. The Get Down
10. Colors v2
11. Same Mistakes
12. Curtains

LENGTH: 51:37

WHERE TO LISTEN FOR FREE: Bandcamp

READING SOME SHIT: It's a double-edged sword, being this closely associated with Guy Fieri, isn't it? On one hand, no one outside of Syracuse would have ever heard of this band were it not for our frost-tipped friend. On the other hand, there are zero articles or interviews online with Sophistafunk that don't mention Guy Fieri. 

PREVIOUSLY ON RECORD CLUB: We very often get album titles with all capital letters, but this is only the second album with no capital letters in the title, after diana. Other than that? I dunno, man. Without having heard a single second of Sophistafunk yet, I'm already getting Vulfpeck vibes. But we'll see!

Happy listening, Guy Fieri! Have a great week!

A Holly Dolly Christmas, Drew P.

Dolly Parton is the Guy Fieri of the music world. 

 

My reasons are as follows: They both have a ridiculous trademark look. She wears big fake wigs, big fake boobs, big makeup, flashy outfits. He wears bowling shirts, sunglasses on the back of his head, frosted tips, and fake drives a signature red convertible. They both do great philanthropy work. She has her send-books-to-kids charity, runs Dollywood and employs like a whole town worth of people, and most recently helped fund the research for a COVID vaccine. He uses his celebrity status to give free advertising to small businesses on a national TV show for the cost of a few meals, has this free pretzel machine thing going on for schools to raise money, and he has a fund going to support restaurants and their workers during the pandemic. They both have names that you have to say with both the first and last name. The list could go on and on.

Most importantly though, Dolly Parton and Guy Fieri have the ability to give us not necessarily what we need, but definitely something that is satisfying deep down. Do we need a plate of nachos so gluttonous and with so many things on it that it's served in a literal garbage can? No. But it damn sure makes us feel good inside. Did we need Dolly Parton’s 47th studio album and third Christmas album? No. But it was delightful. It’s always nice to get a nice scweet schouthern take on the classics. I loved the guest spots, and learned that there are more Partons than just Dolly Parton. Also, "Mary Did You Know?" is one of my favorite Christmas songs, so that was the real highlight for me.

Album of the Week: How Sad, How Lovely

Any time someone new picks the album of the week, I am happy. Thanks to our old friend Drew P***** for picking this week's album, and for giving us a break from bands with white dudes singing rock songs.

Also new this week: I added a list of PoYB contributors to the sidebar underneath the Blog Archive, so you can now sort reviews and other bullshit by author (the "Not Joe" tag was getting a little unwieldy). If you just want a list of every Record Club album and review, you can still click HERE.

WEEK 22 — June 30-July 6, 2019

What we're listening to this week (Drew P.'s pick):

ALBUM: How Sad, How Lovely
ARTIST: Connie Converse

RELEASED: March 5, 2009 (but recorded much earlier)

WHAT GENRE IS THIS: American folk? Sad Americana? O.G. singer-songwriter?

WHY DREW PICKED IT: "I first heard about Connie Converse and couldn't tell if I liked her story more or her music. She wrote her songs in the late 1940s and early 1950s. She got no recognition, so she recorded all her music in her apartment in NY in the late 1950s and then switched to composing piano music. She didn't have any success with that either. Then she packed all her shit up in her VW and disappeared in 1977. All that being said I really love this album and the small little stories it tells."

TRACKS:

1. Talkin' like You (Two Tall Mountains)
2. Johnny's Brother
3. Roving Woman
4. Down This Road
5. The Clover Saloon
6. John Brady
7. We Lived Alone
8. Playboy of the Western World
9. Unknown (A Little Louder, Love)
10. One by One
11. Father Neptune
12. Man in the Sky
13. Empty Pocket Waltz
14. Honeybee
15. There Is a Vine
16. How Sad, How Lovely
17. Trouble
18. I Have Considered the Lillies

READING SOME SHIT: The story of Connie Converse was summarized pretty well in this CoS piece, and personalized a little more in this New Yorker piece.

Happy listening, fam! Have a great week!

Our Summer of Movies: Die Hard

“I have a machine gun now, ho-ho-ho!”

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the movies that I had never seen and had consequently been ridiculed for not seeing. Loyal friend Drew P**** took me up on the cause, and it was subsequently decided that we make it our summer goal. To watch these movies, to make fun of them if need be, to soak in the glory of finally being part of a society heavily focused on entertainment, and to drink a shit ton of beer. We have already drank said shit ton of beer, we have watched our first said movie, and we will now commence said making fun of and/or being part of said society.

This was our post-movie review. Please excuse any redundancies or nonsensical observations.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe: One of the main reasons I agreed to take part in this summer-long goal of watching my previously unwatched movies is to try to watch the movies with no expectations. It’s tough, because many people have seen these movies before; hence, my feelings of being left out. So I guess what we can talk about first is how our expectations were met, or otherwise, things that really surprised us. Personally, a big surprise was Snape being the villain. Because Snape is such a good guy, ya know?!

Drew: The main reason I decided to partake in this endeavor was mostly the same as Joseph's. The movies we agreed to watch are the “iconic” classics so many others have watched. I will admit I have already seen a few listed in the original post, but since then, I have added a few of my own movies to the list. Also, an added perk is just watching movies and drinking a shit ton of beers. My first reaction to this movie came in the first fifteen minutes: “Holy fuck this is classic 1980s.”

Joe: Really? Because I thought your first reaction was, “Shit, where’s Danny Glover?” And for a minute there, I thought the same thing. “I’m getting too old for this shit,” would no doubt be the next line of dialogue. But then Drew used his fancy iPod thing and found out that movie was called Lethal Weapon. So I checked the cover of the DVD case and in fact, it was called Die Hard. Oh yea, I guess we should have mentioned that we were watching Die Hard. My bad.

Drew: In your defense, Bruce Willis and Mel Gibson are really close, and there is a black guy who provides some diversity and humor to every situation / an unnecessary number of sequels in both series. Moving on to Die Hard starring Bruce Willis, Carl Winslow, Snape, and the Principal from The Breakfast Club. One thing I noticed was the music. The film is set during Christmas season and the director, John McTiernan, went so far as to make the ominous music a drawn-out, bass clef-filled version of popular Christmas tunes. As well as every few minutes there was some sort of Santa Claus, Xmas Tree, or Christmas-related decoration. That’s dedication to detail!

Joe: Ho-ho-ho motherfuckers!

Drew: I believe the line was “Yippee-kay-ya motherfuckers.”

Joe: Hey, sir, I’m not the one drinking heavy Irish ale at the moment. Let’s trust my judgment on this. I will, though, comment on your Christmas observation. From now on, every Christmas, instead of buying presents for my family, I’m going to walk on broken glass in my bare feet and save my mother from a Snape terrorist. And hopefully man-kiss Urkel’s neighbor.

Drew: Ah! Thank you for reminding me! In every movie there is some sort of obstacle for the main character to overcome. Harry’s foe is Voldemort, Luke has his father, Frosty has the Sun. But Bruce Willis. Oh Bruce! He couldn’t have such a conventional adversary! No, Bruce took the advice of a fellow passenger and has his own bare feet to contend with. Imagine killing twelve terrorists, saving thirty people, and befriending a random man and figuring out many MacGyver-like situations all while not wearing foot gear.

Joe: Oh wait, is it my turn to say something? I was too busy making my toes into fists. “Motherfucker was right, making my toes into fist balls on this rug pretty much gave me the biggest boner of my life, save the time I killed Snape.” Yes, that is an actual Bruce Willis quote. On a side note, Drew mentioned MacGyver. I, on the other hand, want to mention MacGuber, his evil twin, and the fact that ever single bad guy in this movie had a mullet just like MacGuber. Yes, an SNL skit reference made it on to Puke on Your Birthday, despite the fact that I have never seen an episode in my life. I do know Keenan Thompson pretty well though. He was great on Nickelodeon. I FUCKING DIGRESS. Hell yea, barefoot Bruce!! Yippee Kay Yah!

Drew: I see your never-seeing-SNL with an “I’ve never seen an episode of Friends.” But I DIGRESS AS WELL. My favorite character of this film might be Argyle. Argyle is the Jazz to Bruce Willis’ Fresh Prince. He’s just pimpin’ out in the limo he is supposed to be driving Bruce around in and being that bad friend who can’t really do much but in the end saves the day. In other news, Joe just reported back and we have resorted to drinking Corona. This night has taken an interesting turn.

Joe: Well, Drew, when we start making Fresh Prince references, we should start drinking anything we can. I liked Argyle. I thought it was bad ass when he punched out Stephan Q. Cla— I mean, um, that computer dude. I also liked his accomplice. Not Snape, rather, the dude that looked like Chris Jericho. I liked when he performed his finishing move, “The Walls of Jericho,” right after Bruce killed his brother. So, yeah, we’re referencing Fresh Prince and the WWE in this blog post. Go us.

Drew: I think if we are referencing WWE and Fresh Prince and I have to use caps lock to capitalize words it is time for wrap up thoughts. Die Hard was a great film and I can see why people love it for its typical 1980s plot/side-plots (e.g. Argyle and his girls.) I am glad I can finally say I have seen Die Hard in all its cheesy glory. I have nothing pithy or amusing left to say so I will leave the wrap up to Joseph. More to come (hopefully) next week for installment #2.

Joe: Yippee-kai-yay motherfuckers!!!! [Pushes C4 attached to computer screen through the elevator shaft, a computer screen that just so happens to feature this very blog post. Self-referential humor, motherfuckers!!!!]

Random Phone Pics

My phone is a piece of shit, and it's going to break soon. Consider it a miracle that I have not yet sat on it, lost it, or broken it in half out of anger over an ex-girlfriend. I concede to the fact, however, that its days are numbered. What scares me the most is that I will lose the myriad of treasures stored on the phone. Treasures in the form of pictures and videos.

So I figured it might be fitting to get these little gems off the phone and onto the computer before it's too late. Of course, most of these pictures will embarrass my friends, so of course I'm plopping up here on Puke on Your Birthday.

Pictures of old people are disqualified because I already posted pictures of them, and the more I think about it, publishing those photos might be illegal. Pretty much every picture I have is of a senior citizen, though, so I guess this blog post was pretty stupid. Onward!


I call this one "Dwyer in a Hole"



"Dwyer in Denim (a.k.a. the Canadian Tux)"


"I Make Light of Potentially Serious Injury"


"Jim Doesn't Drink He Is Just Holding Up an Empty Beer Bottle" (True story)


"Drew Is Not Ronnie From Jersey Shore"


"Teddy Roosevelt"


"Dave in a Dress"

And...