Thursday, December 31, 2015
My 2015 in Review
 |
| Cheers to 2015! |
Life is pretty great, isn't it? I'm not going to be hyperbolic and say that 2015 was way better than any other year. But it was a solid fucking year, and it never failed to keep things interesting. Here are 20 Big Ideas from the past year in my life, in no order except maybe thematically.
1) Pam and I went on our honeymoon
2) I had the same job for the entire year
This was the first time I've had the same job for an entire calendar year since my years at the Laf. And this is a good thing! I think I've finally found a job I want to stick with. It's frustrating as hell sometimes, sure, but what job isn't? The pay is pretty okay! The benefits are good (I'm an adult and I guess I should worry about those things)! Everyone I work with is super nice (except asshole lawyers)! I get mad OT! I'm helping a few people out in life every once in a while!
I'm not really inclined to say where exactly I work, because this is the internet and bad things happen here, but I'm sure if you know me, you know where I work, and know too that it requires me to head into some of the seedier neighborhoods in Philly. And goddamn, do I love it. I love the sense of exploration I get when getting to know this city. It's the greatest city on Earth, and when I say that, I don't just mean my usual haunts in gentrified Fishtown and hometown pride in the great NEast. I mean everywhere. The warzone of Juniata to the always dreary Southwest, this city is unique and wonderful. It may lose its luster a bit when I finally get mugged or assaulted, but for now, I love every inch of Philadelphia.
4) Pam and I had weekends off
Pam had a great year too. Because I'm a self-centered asshole and this is a post ABOUT ME, I won't touch too much on her great achievements this year, notably getting her master's degree and getting published. Best of all, she got a new job which she really likes. And, finally, both Pam and I have off every weekend together. Guys... it's magical. Saturday and Sundays are the best days of the week, and I never knew it before. Each 60-hour period is like a mini-vacation we have together once a week. "I never drank this much till I met you" is Pam's constant refrain. I'll take that as a sign that we are living each weekend to its full potential.
5) We started Monday Night Beer Runners, and tried to be healthy...
6) ...but I was still pretty unhealthy this year
Sure, we run once a week, but we still end it slugging pitchers of beer. In fact, I'd say that, for the most part, our weekly runs were the exception to the rule, as far as health went. I've eaten so many Wawa sandwiches, cookie cakes, and Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers this year. I need to change. I want to. But I am weak. This is the heaviest I've ever been. Happy New Year's!
7) I actually did some shit around the house I was proud of
I mean, it wasn't too much. I'm proud, overall, that the home we own is still standing, and, I dunno, that, like, I was able to keep up with doing the dishes every day. My crowning achievement was fixing the toilet, TWICE, without needing to call a plumber. COME AT ME BITCHES.
8) I didn't cut my hair the entire calendar year
I confirmed this with my Mother recently: I got my first haircut in 1989. This means that 2015 was the first calendar year of my life during which I did not get a haircut. I got married 8/31/14, and I still have my wedding cut. Is this important in any way? No, not necessarily. I became a manbun guy this year, which is weird. But more people seem to like it than dislike it, so I guess I have that going for me. My wife likes it, and that's what matters. So, again, was it important? Ask me, and I'll tell you no. Based on the number of comments I got about it, maybe others would argue it is important.
The saving grace of this season was that they didn't lose 100 games. They lost 99. Seriously, guys, I miss good baseball in this town. The summer of 2015 was a great one, no doubt, but something was missing. The warm weather months always seemed so much more exciting when the Phillies were lighting it up in the background. Summer has lost that electricity. Listen, I know sports aren't that important. They didn't make or break the year. But when all four major sports teams suck, that's just one less thing to get excited about. Maybe 2016 will be better... but it will probably be worse.
10) We traveled a decent amount
We're not that couple that jetsets to crazy ass places on all corners of the world constantly, but I feel like we find a comfortable middle ground between that and being homebodies. Other than the aforementioned honeymoon, we hit up some other cool spots. We took a trip to Milwaukee, which is a weird place to visit until you actually get there—the town has history, the food and drink were bangin', and the people are friendly as fuck. (And, amusingly, we considered this our anniversary vacation. Yes, we went to Milwaukee for our anniversary.) Other than that, we did the requisite trips to Wildwood, all of which were just as fun as Wildwood has been every other year of my life. Pam, of course, went to a few other places without me, but I'll let her talk about those whenever she finally gets around to posting on Puke on Your Birthday.
11) I listened to a shit ton of music
Check out my Year in Music Review on PoYB for more on this. It was a great year for music, and because of my good friend the torrent, I was able to stuff a lot of it into my ears. As always, music brightened up my world whenever it felt dull.
12) Pam and I got in our biggest fight
But that would certainly be silly to talk about it on a public internet forum, wouldn't it? Suffice it to say, after the week-long fight, it was put to rest for good, and we both came out of it better than ever. Hi Pam, thanks for reading, hope we don't fight about my Year in Review next!!!!!!!!! ;-) ;-) ;-) #LOL
I laugh more at my own jokes than other people do, which makes me the worst person in the world. This foul quality of mine was personified in an Instagram account. About four people found it funny, and about 400 people wanted to quit Instagram over it. I tried!!!
14) The Year in Parties and Get-Togethers
15) I no longer mourn the end of college
As pathetic as it sounds, ever since 2011, I've deeply hurt at the loss of college. It's funny, but it's also fucking true. My time at university was more important to me that anyone at that damn school will ever know, so when it was over, it took a while. I'm happy and confident to say, however, that at some point in 2015, I got over it. I don't think about La Salle and weep at my loss. I am able to think fondly about my years there while still enjoying the present. Finally.
Before 2015, I didn't give a FUCK about babies. Seriously, if you've posted a picture of a baby on Facebook in the past five years, I've probably reported the post to Facebook for sexual violence or something, just out of spite. But L**** changed all that. She is super cute, and she is the tiniest human being I've ever held in my arms. I can't fucking wait till she's old enough to tell stupid jokes to and to laugh together at our farts.
17) Pam did not get pregnant
As of last week, we have been successful in 68 out of 68 attempts at not becoming pregnant. That's a 100% success rate! Listen, like I mentioned in the last point, I like babies now, but Pam and I wanted to get at least one more calendar year in the books where we didn't have to worry about all that. It was great! We stayed out late, we enjoyed ourselves, we cared about no one but us! It might be time to settle down soon, but for now, not being pregnant was pretty enjoyable and carefree.
18) We lost some good people
I don't believe in social media mourning, but I'd be remiss if I didn't say that a few good people passed away this year. They will be missed.
19) Friends and family got engaged, got married, bought houses, had babies
Sometimes I'm sitting on a barstool at McNally's surrounded by the same ol' usual crowd, and I think that we are the same as we've always been, all of us. But then I realize that is stupid. We're all growing older and everyone is hitting those life milestones at a rapid pace now. So many of my best friends got engaged this year. I went to three weddings that were all spectacular showcases for love and intense intoxication. Had a bunch of housewarming parties this year, most notably my sister's, who at her housewarming party... got engaged. Again, my niece was born, and she's awesome. I even had a friend lose his virginity this year (I know you are reading this, and I am so proud of you man!). It's so goddamn comforting to know that as we get older and we start to reach all these milestones, that we're all in it together. Love you guys.
20) We booked a 2016 trip to Vegas
And finally, we look at the year ahead, because that is one of the most important parts about any year, that it comes with the promise that next year will be EVEN BETTER. Yes, we indeed booked a homecoming to Vegas for May 2016 with a group that promises to top any vacation we've been on in a while. And more! At the current count, we have four weddings scheduled, possibly more. That means four bachelor parties, and consequently four nights I'll have to explain to my wife that I SWEAR I just stood in the back I wasn't near the stage you can ask anybody. January is already booked every Saturday with celebrations of family and friends. Wing Bowl tickets are purchased. St. Patrick's Day is firmly circled on the calendar. The family Wildwood vacation house is already rented. And, assuming everything goes normally, there might be another little plan coming together this summer... we'll see!
Thanks, 2015. Thanks for the beer and the beer belly, for the vacations and the relaxing weekends at home, for the sober laughs and the drunken cries. Thanks for not throwing anything shitty my way. Thanks for being stable and content Monday through Friday, and mysterious and exciting Saturday through Sunday. Thanks for all the friends and family you kept in my life, and added to my life as well. Thanks for being a year filled with the shit that matters.
See you guys at Bonner's tonight.
Love,
Joey
12/31/2015
P.S. Check out the rest of my year in review here.
Thanks, 2015. Thanks for the beer and the beer belly, for the vacations and the relaxing weekends at home, for the sober laughs and the drunken cries. Thanks for not throwing anything shitty my way. Thanks for being stable and content Monday through Friday, and mysterious and exciting Saturday through Sunday. Thanks for all the friends and family you kept in my life, and added to my life as well. Thanks for being a year filled with the shit that matters.
See you guys at Bonner's tonight.
Love,
Joey
12/31/2015
P.S. Check out the rest of my year in review here.
Sunday, December 27, 2015
2015 in Music: Top Ten Albums
This year, I'm thankful for a working iPod Classic that didn't fail me once. I'm thankful for [links that I will not publish here] and all the other means of getting the music that I like. I'm thankful for the great music writers on the internet (especially Stereogum), for turning me on to music that I wouldn't have heard of otherwise. I'm thankful for having a job that allows me to listen to music on a consistent basis, on buses and trains all over the shitty parts of Philadelphia. I'm thankful for every artist that released music this year, whether good or bad, because you gave me an opportunity to appreciate art in its best form. Except you, Adele. You can do better.
Honorable Mentions: Return to the Moon by EL VY, b'lieve i'm going down... by Kurt Vile, Too by FIDLAR, Simple Songs by Jim O'Rourke, Art Angels by Grimes
Top 10 Albums of 2015
10) Ivy Tripp by Waxahatchee
This Philly native takes what is essentially music recorded in her bedroom, and gives it the emotional wallop to make it sound a lot bigger. Not that every song kicks the doors the down—there are some soft and some pretty and some spare tunes on here—but every song sounds like it wants to MEAN something, and very often does.
9) Leavin' La Vida Loca by Antarctigo Vespucci
Antarctigo Vespucci features musician Jeff Rosenstock from Bomb the Music Industry!, and apes a lot of what made that band special too. It's tough growing into being a young adult and middle aged, and this album (like BtMI!) really nails those feelings of despair and desperation, all while being fun as fuck. The music is all upbeat and catchy and the lyrics are the opposite. It's an awesome dichotomy.
8) The Desired Effect by Brandon Flowers
I saw Brandon Flowers in concert this year, and was not really surprised by what I saw after hearing his solo album. He was tame on stage, and he didn't really seem too comfortable up there. He seemed happy and like he was having a good time, but he lacked edge and a looseness that defines a great performer. The whole ordeal matched up pretty well with the album. This is pure '80s schlock, all synths and dancing and pop hooks. In other words, it's lame as shit! And goddamn, is it fun.
7) I Love You, Honeybear by Father John Misty
Out of all the albums on this list, I listened to Father John Misty's the most the year, only because it was Pam's favorite album, and whenever it was her time to pick music in the car, it inevitable came down to I Love You, Honeybear. Seriously, she was crushing hard on Josh Tillman throughout the whole year. It got to the point that she now wants to listen to the Velvet Underground because Misty did a cover of a Swift song in the style of Lou Reed.
Rightly so, though, because this album is awesome. The eleven songs basically take us on a tour of Misty's feelings about love. On some songs, he's waxing poetic about how much he loves his wife; on others, he's berating some drunk hippie whom he went home with. Whether he's being romantic or acerbic, the music is consistently fresh and interesting. It's moving and funny. A thousand spins in Pam's car didn't change that one bit.
6) All of Something by SPORTS
"Another girl punk band?" Pam asked as I spun SPORTS countless times. She's right. Woman artists and bands with girl lead singers kicked ass this year. All of Something is a simple album, and flies by quickly, but it's such a rush. Lead singer Carmen Perry kills it on every song, her precious voice somehow sounding so fierce and so tough. It's a fucking bummer this band broke up already, but I'm hoping we hear more from its individual members sometime in the future.
5) White Reaper Does It Again by White Reaper
Sometimes I don't really have anything to say about an album other than, hey, go listen to it. White Reaper plays straight pop-punk. There's not a slow song on the album. It's all guitar-and-drums variety Rock 'N' Roll with capital Rs. It's fun as shit. I don't really know what else to say, because I suck at this.
4) Beat the Champ by the Mountain Goats
John Darnielle is so damn good about taking a broad subject and making it deeply personal. On Beat the Champ, he does it again, somehow, by singing about professional wrestling, of all goddamn things. The "sport" is inherently ridiculous to anyone over twelve years old. And yet, somehow, Darnielle turns this into one of the most personal, riveting, moving albums of the year. For example, the song "Heel Turn 2" is about fan favorite on the ring that turns into a "bad guy," shocking the audience. Lame, right? But the ballad, in nearly six minutes, tugs at the heartstrings tightly; the line that always gets me is "the president of the fan club up there, choking on his tears." To you and me, wrestling is insanely stupid. To young childhood John Darnielle, wrestling was deeply profound, and he somehow finds a way to convey these emotions to the listener. It's stunning work.
3) The Most Lamentable Tragedy by Titus Andronicus
Titus is one of my top three favorite bands of all time, and unless Patrick Stickles goes completely off the rails, he will continue to release music that is equal parts exciting and touching. Every album they ever release will probably end up on my top ten of any particular year. Why is this album in particular at #3? Because it's chock full of killer hits. Full stop. I count at least twelve songs on this sprawling epic that could go head-to-head with any other of the best songs of the year. It's fucking insane how much quality is stuffed into this sucker.
Okay, so why is it only number 3? Well, there's a lot of filler, to be honest. To give you the most unforgivable example, there's a song that consists solely of a minute and a half of silence. In the most frustrating of rock opera traditions, there are "songs" on here that are stupid, annoying, and often not even songs at all.
So does the story of this rock opera really succeed from a listener's standpoint? Probably not. But when The Most Lamentable Tragedy is good, it's the fucking best there is, and that happens so often. A rising tide raises all boats, and goddamn, those songs that work are a strong tide, and carry this album to insane heights. For all its flaws, this is a piece of art that I will listen to for the rest of my life.
2) Natalie Prass by Natalie Prass
Natalie Prass's self-titled debut is deceptive. Maybe it's her twee voice, or the subject matter (spoilers, it's the trials and tribulations of love). But start adding up all the pieces—her charm, the catchy choruses, the strings piled on horns piled on even more strings—and it starts to become something special.
1) Painted Shut by Hop Along
I just can't get over Frances Quinlan. Listen, I know Hop Along is a band, and the dudes playing the instruments are tight as fuck and make great music. But lead singer Frances Quinlan is out of this fucking world, and they make this album the best of the year. Their voice... how can I possibly adequately describe that fucking thing? Here's the best I can do: Their voice, at every cathartic moment, sounds like it's going to completely fucking implode, but it never does. There's this previously unknown sound coming out of their mouth, and it's fucking unique and such a fucking powerhouse of a thing.
I guess I should reiterate again that this album is great top to bottom; the vocals just send it to the stratosphere. Everything next to the vocals, though, is catchy, every guitar solo is nuts and every drum part is full of energy and creativity. Music like this makes you feel like you can lift a thousand pounds. I'm trying not to get too hyperbolic right now, but I don't even know if that's possible. It's that damn good. I'll stop now.
Honorable Mentions: Return to the Moon by EL VY, b'lieve i'm going down... by Kurt Vile, Too by FIDLAR, Simple Songs by Jim O'Rourke, Art Angels by Grimes
Top 10 Albums of 2015
This Philly native takes what is essentially music recorded in her bedroom, and gives it the emotional wallop to make it sound a lot bigger. Not that every song kicks the doors the down—there are some soft and some pretty and some spare tunes on here—but every song sounds like it wants to MEAN something, and very often does.
Antarctigo Vespucci features musician Jeff Rosenstock from Bomb the Music Industry!, and apes a lot of what made that band special too. It's tough growing into being a young adult and middle aged, and this album (like BtMI!) really nails those feelings of despair and desperation, all while being fun as fuck. The music is all upbeat and catchy and the lyrics are the opposite. It's an awesome dichotomy.
I saw Brandon Flowers in concert this year, and was not really surprised by what I saw after hearing his solo album. He was tame on stage, and he didn't really seem too comfortable up there. He seemed happy and like he was having a good time, but he lacked edge and a looseness that defines a great performer. The whole ordeal matched up pretty well with the album. This is pure '80s schlock, all synths and dancing and pop hooks. In other words, it's lame as shit! And goddamn, is it fun.
Out of all the albums on this list, I listened to Father John Misty's the most the year, only because it was Pam's favorite album, and whenever it was her time to pick music in the car, it inevitable came down to I Love You, Honeybear. Seriously, she was crushing hard on Josh Tillman throughout the whole year. It got to the point that she now wants to listen to the Velvet Underground because Misty did a cover of a Swift song in the style of Lou Reed.
Rightly so, though, because this album is awesome. The eleven songs basically take us on a tour of Misty's feelings about love. On some songs, he's waxing poetic about how much he loves his wife; on others, he's berating some drunk hippie whom he went home with. Whether he's being romantic or acerbic, the music is consistently fresh and interesting. It's moving and funny. A thousand spins in Pam's car didn't change that one bit.
"Another girl punk band?" Pam asked as I spun SPORTS countless times. She's right. Woman artists and bands with girl lead singers kicked ass this year. All of Something is a simple album, and flies by quickly, but it's such a rush. Lead singer Carmen Perry kills it on every song, her precious voice somehow sounding so fierce and so tough. It's a fucking bummer this band broke up already, but I'm hoping we hear more from its individual members sometime in the future.
Sometimes I don't really have anything to say about an album other than, hey, go listen to it. White Reaper plays straight pop-punk. There's not a slow song on the album. It's all guitar-and-drums variety Rock 'N' Roll with capital Rs. It's fun as shit. I don't really know what else to say, because I suck at this.
John Darnielle is so damn good about taking a broad subject and making it deeply personal. On Beat the Champ, he does it again, somehow, by singing about professional wrestling, of all goddamn things. The "sport" is inherently ridiculous to anyone over twelve years old. And yet, somehow, Darnielle turns this into one of the most personal, riveting, moving albums of the year. For example, the song "Heel Turn 2" is about fan favorite on the ring that turns into a "bad guy," shocking the audience. Lame, right? But the ballad, in nearly six minutes, tugs at the heartstrings tightly; the line that always gets me is "the president of the fan club up there, choking on his tears." To you and me, wrestling is insanely stupid. To young childhood John Darnielle, wrestling was deeply profound, and he somehow finds a way to convey these emotions to the listener. It's stunning work.
Titus is one of my top three favorite bands of all time, and unless Patrick Stickles goes completely off the rails, he will continue to release music that is equal parts exciting and touching. Every album they ever release will probably end up on my top ten of any particular year. Why is this album in particular at #3? Because it's chock full of killer hits. Full stop. I count at least twelve songs on this sprawling epic that could go head-to-head with any other of the best songs of the year. It's fucking insane how much quality is stuffed into this sucker.
Okay, so why is it only number 3? Well, there's a lot of filler, to be honest. To give you the most unforgivable example, there's a song that consists solely of a minute and a half of silence. In the most frustrating of rock opera traditions, there are "songs" on here that are stupid, annoying, and often not even songs at all.
So does the story of this rock opera really succeed from a listener's standpoint? Probably not. But when The Most Lamentable Tragedy is good, it's the fucking best there is, and that happens so often. A rising tide raises all boats, and goddamn, those songs that work are a strong tide, and carry this album to insane heights. For all its flaws, this is a piece of art that I will listen to for the rest of my life.
Natalie Prass's self-titled debut is deceptive. Maybe it's her twee voice, or the subject matter (spoilers, it's the trials and tribulations of love). But start adding up all the pieces—her charm, the catchy choruses, the strings piled on horns piled on even more strings—and it starts to become something special.
I just can't get over Frances Quinlan. Listen, I know Hop Along is a band, and the dudes playing the instruments are tight as fuck and make great music. But lead singer Frances Quinlan is out of this fucking world, and they make this album the best of the year. Their voice... how can I possibly adequately describe that fucking thing? Here's the best I can do: Their voice, at every cathartic moment, sounds like it's going to completely fucking implode, but it never does. There's this previously unknown sound coming out of their mouth, and it's fucking unique and such a fucking powerhouse of a thing.
I guess I should reiterate again that this album is great top to bottom; the vocals just send it to the stratosphere. Everything next to the vocals, though, is catchy, every guitar solo is nuts and every drum part is full of energy and creativity. Music like this makes you feel like you can lift a thousand pounds. I'm trying not to get too hyperbolic right now, but I don't even know if that's possible. It's that damn good. I'll stop now.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
2015 in Music: Top 20 Songs
Other Great Songs of the Year
"24 Frames" by Jason Isbell ... "Big Decisions" by My Morning Jacket ... "The Big Game (Movements 1&2)" by Sledding with Tigers ... "Black Cherry Pie" by JEFF the Brotherhood ... "Catch Me on the Rebound" by the Go! Team ... "Cause I'm a Man" by Tame Impala ... "Century Schoolbook Grown-ups" by the Sidekicks ... "Cold Blooded" by Gary Clark Jr. ... "Continental Shelf" by Viet Cong ... "Expo '87" by Fred Thomas ... "Full Possession of All Her Powers" by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin ... "The Graduates" by Speedy Ortiz ... "The Ground Walks, with Time in a Box" by Modest Mouse ... "Half Life Crisis" by Jim O'Rourke ... "Hey Darling" by Sleater-Kinney ... "Hooray for Me" by Antarctigo Vespucci ... "Irony. Utility. Pretext." by Algiers ... "Leaving the City" by Joanna Newsom ... "Living Zoo" by Built to Spill ... "Lock All the Doors" by Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
"Losing Touch" by Albert Hammond Jr. ... "Mayflower" by Diane Coffee ... "Mountain at My Gates" by Foals ... "No No No" by Beirut ... "Nobody's Empire" by Belle and Sebastian ... "Noisy Heaven" by Beach Slang ... "Northern Highway" by Martin Courtney ... "Pony" by Wavves ... "Random Name Generator" by Wilco ... "Reason" by Bully ... "Rejoice" by Julien Baker ... "Sagres" by the Tallest Man on Earth ... "Something Soon" by Car Seat Headrest ... "There Is No Function Stacy" by Joanna Gruesome ... "Trying" by Bop English ... "Until We Can't (Let's Go)" by Passion Pit ... "Using" by Sorority Noise ... "The Way You'd Love Her" by Mac DeMarco ... "Wild One" by Colleen Green ... "Witness" by Will Butler
Honorable Mentions
Next, here are fifteen songs that I consider close to being ranked, but didn't quite crack the Top 20. Any of these songs are a worthy #21 best song of the year. Again, feel free to click on anything that sounds interesting, because you can't really go wrong.
And now, without further ado...
Top 20 Songs of 2015
I'll be honest: If I hear you for the first time on 104.5, I think you're a chump band and instantly take you less seriously. Sorry, Florence. Your new album rocks and this song is super cool. Sorry for judging you on the shitty radio station that plays you the most.
There's something comforting about the Decemberists at this point. Sure, their new album this year was full of missteps—admittedly more than usually—but as always, the hits are still there, and it's still vintage Decemberists. The rhythm guitar leads the way, the drum plays a basic two-and-four, the accordion and violin fill the ranks. "The Wrong Year" is this year's pizza on a rainy day. You won't talk about it years from now, but it is pleasant and you very much smiled when it was there.
Holy shit! This is so corny! I fucking love it!
EL VY is the side project of Matt Berninger, lead singer for the National. On this album, and this song in particular, he reverts back to my favorite Matt Berninger character, the sleazy drunken fool. As the National creeps slowly toward VERY SERIOUS BAND ALWAYS, it was super fun to listen to one of the all time great vocalists just dick around. What is a "green colored 'fuck me' shirt?" Who knows? When a prostitute interrupts your second verse, you know it's going to be a good time.
The lyrics aren't really compelling until they are repeated ad nauseam: "How's the job? How's the family? How's the job? How's the family? Beautiful weather today! Beautiful weather today!" and so on. To me, it's commenting on the monotony of life. iPod in my ears, shirt and tie, on a bus to work on a dreary Tuesday morning... I feel you, Ought.
One of my favorite types of songs—the boozy singalong. You can imagine this had to be a good time to record. Everyone gathered 'round for choruses of "Na-na-na-na..." and a simple hook, "I wanna be with you!" Fun time all around.
My favorite description of a song this year came from a random Stereogum comment about "Triumph": "This song has more hooks than a meat locker." It's true. In a year that featured countless females being badass behind the mic, Screaming Females were tops.
How can a singing voice that's so monotone be so exciting? Sometimes Barnett seems like she just describing what she sees when writing a song. Here, layered over a barreling guitar, Barnett yells about herself, cryptically: "I wanna wash my head out with turpentine," and "The rats are back inside my head." And it all ends with one of the best climaxes of the year. It's essentially a joke. "I'm a fake, I'm a phony, I'm awake, I'm alone, I'm homely... I'm a Scorpio!" Thrilling and fucking weird.
Usually I don't fuck with artists that sing the majority of their songs in a different language. There's something extremely catchy about Christine and the Queens, however, that helps me overlook all the French. It's minimalist, but every song has such a hook that it draws you in. "iT," a song ostensibly about a woman-to-man transformation, leads off their self-titled American debut, and sets the tone. It's easy to find yourself nodding along, even if you have no idea what they are saying sometimes.
Kurt Vile does here what he does best. Guitar pickin', laid-back vocals, self-deprecating humor, catchy as fuck. Proud to call him a fellow Philadelphian.
Jeez, Sufjan was depressing this year. I get it, but I don't necessarily want to feel sad all that much when I'm hooked up to my iPod. I want to know the good things in life when I hear a melody, not dwell on the bad. Fitting, then, that the only shred of hopefulness captured on Carrie & Lowell is one of my favorite songs of the year. "Should Have Known Better" starts like the rest of the album, like a dirge. But then that tiny keyboard part comes in, and it's like the sun slowly peaking over the darkness. The pitter patter of the drums layers on top. A tambourine is confidently struck. A choir lifts the vocals higher. Along with the music changes Sufjan's words: "Don't back down!" and "My brother had a daughter / the beauty that she brings." THIS is some happy shit I can get behind. It's fragile, but the beauty is there.
There wasn't much to celebrate this year when it came to the Philadelphia Phillies, so this song will have to do. Philly locals Dr. Dog capture the sound of sweet Philly soul, with hand claps and triumphant synths and harmonies, and wrap it around the fun and anarchy of our fuzzy green friend. Put this in your pocket for a 2025 World Series, folks.
Guys, I don't normally point out videos, but the video for this one is super cool. Like the rest of his beastly album Beat the Champ, John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats sings about his personal experience being a wrestling fan via singing about the very wrestling heroes he cheered for. And the video features Darnielle wrestling the actual Chavo Guerrero. That had to be an awesome experience. So too is this song an awesome experience. Even if you've never caught one minute of action in the squared circle, you'll find something to enjoy in this song.
This is the goddamn perfect road trip song. "Strangers" argues that the only road trip that matters is the one we call life.
Has there ever been a bigger outlier on any album in recent memory? Jamie xx put out a good electronic/dance album this year (or outstanding album, depending on who you ask), and a lot of it sounded like the xx (to my untrained ears). When the album reaches "Good Times," the shift is violent. Gone for three and a half minutes is the slow-build minimalism that is Jamie xx's m.o., and in comes the party song of the year. Featuring Young Thug and Popcaan singing ridiculous lyric after ridiculous lyric, the partying doesn't stop. See you on the dance floor.
Mystikal does a bonkers James Brown impression. Fuck "Uptown Funk," and put this Mark Ronson song on repeat.
I got beat over the head about how capital-I IMPORTANT Kendrick's album was this year. I won't deny it. There was a lot of violence in America in 2015, and it was depressing and frustrating, and Kendrick rightly captured that turmoil in a bottle and sold it as To Pimp a Butterfly. But then, isn't it refreshing that there's at least one song on this album that is a good old fashioned "I'm The Best" rap song? Kendrick goes on ad nauseam about how he is the king of music. Maybe he's right. It's a really fun song. Maybe I got this all wrong. Maybe Kendrick made this song, in which he is King of the World, to contrast with the stunning lows he reaches on other ends of the album. Maybe I'm not supposed to think "King Kunta" is a great song. Maybe it's all sarcasm. Maybe I know nothing about rap. That's probably right. I like this song.
Every conversation about Hop Along begins and ends with the vocal performance of Frances Quinlan, and rightly so. Their voice alone was my favorite part of all of music this year, and on "Waitress," they reach towering heights. And the scariest part about it? "Waitress" is just one lone song on an album of such stunners. Because of the general one-song-per-artist rule, "Waitress" almost didn't even make the list. Christ.
Part church song, part ode to a grandma, part Grease musical, part love ballad, part awesome rapper just having fun, this song does what Donnie Trumpet & the Social Experiment did a lot on their album: they put together a lot of seemingly incompatible parts and made a weird, fun, awesome whole.
I always say this: the best art is the art that gives you the strongest physical reaction. Titus Andronicus excels at this, if you consider that the best, most visceral reaction is BEING PUMPED THE FUCK UP. Seriously, "Dimed Out" is takes this band to the fucking limit. There was NOTHING more thrilling this year than Patrick Stickles screaming his face off, louder and faster still, and then that tom rolls comes in and ends in a snare, and the whole song explodes. Fuck. I first heard this song at 5:30 AM while doing laundry, and I last heard this song at 2 AM drunk as fuck on a SEPTA bus, and I found that context doesn't matter. This song fucking rocks.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
2015 in Music: Miscellaneous
A list of the best songs and the best albums of the year can't do justice my 2015 listening experience. Here are some odds and ends that didn't make the lists.
Most Underrated Album
TIE: The Scene Between by the Go! Team and The High Country by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
Two albums by bands that have probably seen better days in the '00s, but are still kicking. And ya know what, they both put out really great albums this year! Nothing revolutionary. SSLYBY's sounds like every album from them I've ever heard. The Go! Team's is pretty much the same shtick, except they forwent the cheerleaders and Ninja the rapper this go around. Neither are lighting the world on fire, but both deserve more press than they got this year.
Biggest Personal Bummer
Aureate Gloom by Of Montreal
2013 saw me fall in love with Of Montreal. 2014 saw me grow tired of them. 2015 saw me finally push them away and stand up from the table. I can't have another bite. Aureate Gloom was the sound of this band sleepwalking. Better luck next time, and considering this is LP13, next time might be right around the corner.
Would Probably Be 100x Better in a Different Context
Gliss Riffer by Dan Deacon
I get the feeling that when Dan Deacon writes an album, he closes his eyes and pictures his bonkers live shows, then turns that vision into song. I spent most of my year listening to music while I drove around a minivan or while I was typing reports for my job. I was disappointed by Gliss Riffer, but I get the feeling that was mostly my fault. Looking forward to truly discovering it in 2016.
Why Critical Darlings Aren't My Favorite Albums
Carrie & Lowell by Sufjan Stevens and To Pimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar
Sufjan is my boy, and has been since high school Joe soared through Illinois, and he stayed my boy through the cycles of Christmas weirdness and the cathartic Adz bleeps and bloops. And while he's still my boy, I listen to Carrie & Lowell, and I'm sorry to report that it just doesn't HIT me with that same wallop that the rest of his discography does. The songs are beautiful, yes, but they don't touch me and I can't relate to them. Maybe because I haven't experienced much loss in my life. I count myself lucky, in that context. Maybe some day I'll come back to this album and be ripped apart by it, but as for 2015, it was a good album. Maybe Top 30. Nothing more.
Kendrick, on the other hand, is easy to explain. Everyone else on the face of the Earth is gonna have this album as #1, or up to maybe two spots away from it, whereas ol' Joey here would estimate it at like maybe #18. But isn't that always the case? Give or take a Run the Jewels, rap has never been my forte. I appreciate it for what it is. I can jam to a rap banger when one comes along that hits me just right. But even such a well-crafted epic such as TPaB isn't going to connect with me in the way that a guitar-driven indie rocker would.
Conflict of Interest
Day Job by Science Club
I know a guy in this band. They released a very good album, and I listened to it many times, but I would feel like a kiss-ass putting them on a list. Especially because he's probably one of MAYBE eight people that will read any of this. Sorry. That being said, check 'em out.
Top 5 Non-2015 Albums I Listened To This Year
5) Good News for People Who Love Bad News by Modest Mouse
I usually have a problem getting around to listening to an album when life's circumstances have brought me to knowing one particular song on that album so well that it might threaten to affect my opinion of the rest of the songs. "Float On" is mammoth in my music life. It played on every radio station on earth every 20 minutes in high school, and I somehow then reconnected to it in college when I was drunk and sad and it hit a nerve. So, anyway, I finally tried to tackle Good News this year. As with any Modest Mouse album, it was no small task. It worked out great though. "Float On" is still there and it still soars, but the rest of the album is wonderful too.
Good songs to check out: "Ocean Breathes Salty" and "Bury Me with It" and "Blame It on the Tetons"
4) Beggars Banquet by the Rolling Stones
Speaking of the "Hit Songs Ruin an Album" syndrome, here come the Rolling Stones. I spent the formative years of my life with Forty Licks, and ruined like 20 Stones albums in the process. Please do not let me give my own children any Greatest Hits collections, okay? Beggars Banquet has "Sympathy," sure, but give me the strut of "Stray Cat Blues," the pleasant knee-slapping of "Factory Girl," and the uplifting singalong "Salt of the Earth" any day. The Stones have some worthwhile deep cuts. Who knew? /s
Good Songs to Check Out: I'm not gonna link them twice.
3) Famous Graves by Cheap Girls
You ever pop on an album for the first time, and it just fucking clicks so perfectly, and you know it's gonna be with you for a while? Gotta love those moments. I had one with Cheap Girls this year. I was driving down Broad St. at like 10 at night, it was dark, the roads were empty, the windows were cracked, the stereo was up loud, and Famous Graves became the soundtrack to a road trip through Shittydelphia. There's something about straight-ahead, mid-tempo pop-punk that resonates so loudly with me, and here's an album front to back filled with it. Sometimes simple is so utterly charming.
Good Songs to Check Out: "Short Cut Days" and "Knock Me Over" and "Man in Question"
2) Fun Trick Noisemaker by Apples in Stereo
Here's one that I've wanted to listen to for years, but could never find a way to steal the damn thing. Finally got my hands on it, and it was exactly what I expected. Elephant 6, the "collective" the band is a part of, is full of acts that are one part pop and two parts weird. Apples in Stereo reverses that recipe, and it's all the better for it. Songs like "Tidal Wave" and "Lucky Charm" are pinnacle '90s pop-rock, so full of joy and happiness. Fun, indeed.
Good Songs to Check Out: "High Tide" and "Dots 1-2-3" and "Show the World"
1) Knife Man by Andrew Jackson Jihad
I like my music loud and relentless. Knife Man doesn't stop. I like my music to be smart. Knife Man is sardonic and sarcastic and makes me laugh multiple times per spin. I like to fist pump when listening to music. Knife Man gets me excited. There's a song called "Big Bird" that gives me chills. There's a lyric that goes "I hate whiny fucking songs like this, / but I can't afford a therapist. / Sorry guys, here's a solo." There's a song called "Hate, Rain on Me," that is probably the most depressing and angry song I've ever heard, and I want it to soundtrack every summer BBQ I ever have for the rest of my life. Jesus, I just don't know how to talk about this album without just naming individual parts that work on it. I mean, those parts work HARD. All these lovely, exciting, ugly, crazy, amazing songs and musical moments just coalesce and become a piece of art. I'm a shitty music critic. Just listen.
Good Songs to Check Out: "Gift of the Magi 2: Return of the Magi" and "Distance" and "Sorry Bro" and really all of it, especially the ones I named up there in the big paragraph.
Most Underrated Album
TIE: The Scene Between by the Go! Team and The High Country by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
Biggest Personal Bummer
Aureate Gloom by Of Montreal
2013 saw me fall in love with Of Montreal. 2014 saw me grow tired of them. 2015 saw me finally push them away and stand up from the table. I can't have another bite. Aureate Gloom was the sound of this band sleepwalking. Better luck next time, and considering this is LP13, next time might be right around the corner.
Would Probably Be 100x Better in a Different Context
Gliss Riffer by Dan Deacon
Why Critical Darlings Aren't My Favorite Albums
Carrie & Lowell by Sufjan Stevens and To Pimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar
Conflict of Interest
Day Job by Science Club
I know a guy in this band. They released a very good album, and I listened to it many times, but I would feel like a kiss-ass putting them on a list. Especially because he's probably one of MAYBE eight people that will read any of this. Sorry. That being said, check 'em out.
Top 5 Non-2015 Albums I Listened To This Year
5) Good News for People Who Love Bad News by Modest Mouse
Good songs to check out: "Ocean Breathes Salty" and "Bury Me with It" and "Blame It on the Tetons"
4) Beggars Banquet by the Rolling Stones
Good Songs to Check Out: I'm not gonna link them twice.
3) Famous Graves by Cheap Girls
Good Songs to Check Out: "Short Cut Days" and "Knock Me Over" and "Man in Question"
2) Fun Trick Noisemaker by Apples in Stereo
Good Songs to Check Out: "High Tide" and "Dots 1-2-3" and "Show the World"
1) Knife Man by Andrew Jackson Jihad
Good Songs to Check Out: "Gift of the Magi 2: Return of the Magi" and "Distance" and "Sorry Bro" and really all of it, especially the ones I named up there in the big paragraph.
Monday, December 14, 2015
2015 in TV: Top Ten Episodes
Television is tough to rank because there's only so much time in the day, and I only watch a finite number of shows out of the seemingly infinite quality programs that are on these days. Nevertheless, sometimes the medium is transcendent, and I feel thankful to have watched it. Here are ten of those moments.
But first: ****Spoilers, yo!!!**** Seriously, make sure you don't read anything you're not caught up in! I'll try not to be too specific.
Show That Would Be on Here If I Caught Up in Time
Nathan For You — I just watched the Dumb Starbucks episode. This is the most creative cringe comedy I've ever seen. But I haven't seen Season 3 yet!
Honorable Mentions
Mad Men, "Person to Person" ... Looking, "Looking for Gordon Freeman" ... Better Call Saul, "Marco" ... Master of None, "Mornings"
Top Ten Favorite Episodes of TV in 2015
10) Parenthood, "May God Bless and Keep You Always"
No one knows how to do a series-ending montage like Jason Katims. Beautiful, tear-jerking. I never want the Bravermans to go away.
9) Game of Thrones, "Hardhome"
Sure, Game of Thrones has its flaws, but when it's thrilling, it's fucking THRILLING. The Whitewalker battle had me on the edge of my seat the entire time.
8) The Leftovers, "No Room at the Inn"
Hard-pressed, and I'd probably tell you that The Leftovers was the best show of the year. Each episode was so wildly different and so fucking well-acted and so goddamn unique, that it was difficult picking just one. I'll go with the now-annual hour of Matt Jamison being a goddamn stalwart badass and refusing to back down from life's challenges. For Matt, there are many.
7) Fargo, "Rhinoceros"
Did I just say that Leftovers was my favorite? If I'm gonna stick by it, then Fargo was a close second. Better than the Dodd-as-hostage episode, the gunfight-turned-UFO-encounter episode, and the death-match-in-the-butcher-shop episode, was the Ron Swanson Takes a Stand. Jesus Christ, Nick Offerman blew the top off this already exciting drama, first by injecting some much-needed comedic relief, then by dropping all laughs and staring down the barrel of Bear's gun. Nuts.
6) Orange Is the New Black, "Trust No Bitch"
OITNB is one of my favorite types of shows—huge cast, and everyone is empathetic, no matter how shitty they were first presented. Great, then, was how they brought all the characters together at the end, all the dozens of women we grew to love within the walls of Litchfield, and let them go for a little swim.
5) Review, "Happiness; Pillow Fight; Imaginary Friend"
There was no show as consistently brilliant as Review. It was brilliant because it was such an intense blend of absurd humor and dark drama. It was the Breaking Bad of comedies. It takes outrageous premises and keeps getting darker and darker until you don't know whether to laugh or to go hide in your bedroom. Case in point, we have our main character create an imaginary friend, and when that imaginary friend is shanked "to death," it's not only hilarious, it creates a terrific pathos. Please renew this, Comedy Central.
4) Community, "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"
And lo, "Six Seasons and a Movie" reaches its first goal. I'd rank the sixth season of Community in its Top Three, maybe Top Two. I'd rank the (presumed) series finale among its finest. In its heyday, there was no better show on earth that was better at being poignant and funny in a single breath. Saying goodbye to Greendale was a beautiful 30 minutes that showcased everything that made this show so great over six years. I'll miss the Greendale Six.
3) The Jinx, "Chapter 6: What the Hell Did I Do?"
I hate being spoiled to TV shows, but the end of this episode was kind of unavoidable, seeing as it happened in real life. When Robert Durst inadvertently admitted to killing by forgetting his mic was still on in the bathroom, it was the most chilling thing I've ever seen on television. I mean, this wasn't fiction. It fucking happened. Christ.
2) Rick and Morty, "Total Rickall"
This show is so goddamn good. Only Rick and Morty would come up with the idea of a Clip Show, where the actual idea of cutting away to the clips is, in itself, the villain. Brilliant, brilliant comedy.
1) It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, "Charlie Work"
Fuck Cheers, there is no TV show in the history of the medium that was ever this good after ten seasons. It seems like the Always Sunny crew never tires of ideas, and every year I'm amazed at how creative the team remains. This year's high point was "Charlie Work," which featured a ten-minute tracking shot of Charlie at his most manic, running around the bar, trying to bamboozle the health inspector. It was an impressive showcase for the character and the actor, and it was a thrilling, hilarious display of creativity by the show. When this show finally decides to call it quits in another ten years, I'll probably be claiming it to be the best comedy of all time.
But first: ****Spoilers, yo!!!**** Seriously, make sure you don't read anything you're not caught up in! I'll try not to be too specific.
Show That Would Be on Here If I Caught Up in Time
Nathan For You — I just watched the Dumb Starbucks episode. This is the most creative cringe comedy I've ever seen. But I haven't seen Season 3 yet!
Honorable Mentions
Mad Men, "Person to Person" ... Looking, "Looking for Gordon Freeman" ... Better Call Saul, "Marco" ... Master of None, "Mornings"
Top Ten Favorite Episodes of TV in 2015
10) Parenthood, "May God Bless and Keep You Always"
No one knows how to do a series-ending montage like Jason Katims. Beautiful, tear-jerking. I never want the Bravermans to go away.
9) Game of Thrones, "Hardhome"
Sure, Game of Thrones has its flaws, but when it's thrilling, it's fucking THRILLING. The Whitewalker battle had me on the edge of my seat the entire time.
8) The Leftovers, "No Room at the Inn"
Hard-pressed, and I'd probably tell you that The Leftovers was the best show of the year. Each episode was so wildly different and so fucking well-acted and so goddamn unique, that it was difficult picking just one. I'll go with the now-annual hour of Matt Jamison being a goddamn stalwart badass and refusing to back down from life's challenges. For Matt, there are many.
7) Fargo, "Rhinoceros"
Did I just say that Leftovers was my favorite? If I'm gonna stick by it, then Fargo was a close second. Better than the Dodd-as-hostage episode, the gunfight-turned-UFO-encounter episode, and the death-match-in-the-butcher-shop episode, was the Ron Swanson Takes a Stand. Jesus Christ, Nick Offerman blew the top off this already exciting drama, first by injecting some much-needed comedic relief, then by dropping all laughs and staring down the barrel of Bear's gun. Nuts.
6) Orange Is the New Black, "Trust No Bitch"
OITNB is one of my favorite types of shows—huge cast, and everyone is empathetic, no matter how shitty they were first presented. Great, then, was how they brought all the characters together at the end, all the dozens of women we grew to love within the walls of Litchfield, and let them go for a little swim.
5) Review, "Happiness; Pillow Fight; Imaginary Friend"
There was no show as consistently brilliant as Review. It was brilliant because it was such an intense blend of absurd humor and dark drama. It was the Breaking Bad of comedies. It takes outrageous premises and keeps getting darker and darker until you don't know whether to laugh or to go hide in your bedroom. Case in point, we have our main character create an imaginary friend, and when that imaginary friend is shanked "to death," it's not only hilarious, it creates a terrific pathos. Please renew this, Comedy Central.
4) Community, "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"
And lo, "Six Seasons and a Movie" reaches its first goal. I'd rank the sixth season of Community in its Top Three, maybe Top Two. I'd rank the (presumed) series finale among its finest. In its heyday, there was no better show on earth that was better at being poignant and funny in a single breath. Saying goodbye to Greendale was a beautiful 30 minutes that showcased everything that made this show so great over six years. I'll miss the Greendale Six.
3) The Jinx, "Chapter 6: What the Hell Did I Do?"
I hate being spoiled to TV shows, but the end of this episode was kind of unavoidable, seeing as it happened in real life. When Robert Durst inadvertently admitted to killing by forgetting his mic was still on in the bathroom, it was the most chilling thing I've ever seen on television. I mean, this wasn't fiction. It fucking happened. Christ.
2) Rick and Morty, "Total Rickall"
This show is so goddamn good. Only Rick and Morty would come up with the idea of a Clip Show, where the actual idea of cutting away to the clips is, in itself, the villain. Brilliant, brilliant comedy.
1) It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, "Charlie Work"
Fuck Cheers, there is no TV show in the history of the medium that was ever this good after ten seasons. It seems like the Always Sunny crew never tires of ideas, and every year I'm amazed at how creative the team remains. This year's high point was "Charlie Work," which featured a ten-minute tracking shot of Charlie at his most manic, running around the bar, trying to bamboozle the health inspector. It was an impressive showcase for the character and the actor, and it was a thrilling, hilarious display of creativity by the show. When this show finally decides to call it quits in another ten years, I'll probably be claiming it to be the best comedy of all time.
Monday, July 27, 2015
Reflections on The Monitor
Sometimes, an album just hits you at the exact right time in your life. The Monitor was one of those albums.
It was early Spring of 2010. I was driving around in a shitty Toyota Camry, 1991 edition, commuting back and forth between my parents' house and La Salle on those few days a week I actually had class. I was single, and sleeping on couches on the weekends, because it was pretty evident at that point that no women were inviting me into their beds. Life was weird. It felt weird because at that point in my life, La Salle's campus was my home, and I didn't live there. I was just squatting. I was constantly on the precipice of expulsion—at least, that's what my nemeses in Community Development wanted me to think. Inebriation was pretty standard. I mean, shit, I wasn't like drunk driving or anything, but my Four Lokos were usually three quarters empty, and for the first time in my life, it made me more sad than ecstatic. The Spring of 2010, man, fucking weird.
Anyways, enter The Monitor. I had always listened to Titus Andronicus. I was never a fanatic, I never took a trip up to New York to see them or anything, but "Fear and Loathing in Mahwah, NJ" was my fucking jam, and their second album seemed like it could be a stunner. It was.
The Monitor is a concept album. Loosely, of course—concept albums always are. But it had a theme. On its surface, it was about the Civil War. There are short interludes throughout of poems from that era, and songs allude to battles that happened during the war.
Really, though, the Civil War is used as a metaphor. The civil war, whereas in real life was North vs. South, brother vs. brother, is instead, in this allegory, an existential crisis of the self. Our hero (me, you) feels like his hometown can no longer contain him. The enemy is everywhere, and escape is imperative. The world is ripe to be explored, and though it would be painful to leave that hometown, he has to know what's out there.
There I was, in the Spring of 2010, and I too was driving through my hometown every day, wondering what the fuck it was all for. I had friends, I was getting a decent education, but it all felt so frivolous. Don't call it a meltdown; I survived, I made the best. But it was, all in all, a rough time in my life.
Patrick Stickles understood that. "Waking up, it's rarely worth it, / The same dark dread every morning... You will always be a loser." He was singing what I was feeling. And fuck, he was singing it with such abandon. What he was singing about was a malaise, a depression. But he turned them into anthems.
A whole hour goes by of this. Anthem after anthem of how shitty you feel, but at the same time making you feel that you could possibly be on top of the world or at least punch a hole through the roof of your Camry.
The album ends with "The Battle of Hampton Roads." Our hero (me, you) returns to his hometown, having discovered OUT THERE that where he needs to be is RIGHT HERE. The civil war wracking his brain is over. He discovers that he already has everything he needs. He'll always be a loser, but he will make the best of it.
Not everything is perfect. It never will be. Just listen to the final, triumphant guitar riffs. The solo stretches for minutes, and it soars over every fucking mountaintop. The entire album is leading up to this point, the whole band is barreling towards the big fucking finale, we reach the climax... and the guitar goofs up. There's one note in there that is not supposed to be there. It's just one note, but it's more of a squawk of the amplifier than anything. Thirteen minutes of "The Battle of Hampton Roads" ends in a fuck-up.
I've probably been close to tears every time I hear that discordant note. It's beautiful in its imperfection. It lets you know that the work is never done. You'll always be a loser. You make the best of it, but that's WORK, and you gotta give it your best every day, even when you fuck up. And kids like us, we're gonna fuck up a lot.
I don't know if The Monitor means as much today as it did back then. I still consider it my favorite album of all time, but as the years go by, and I settle down into a comfortable and happy life (e.g., marriage, home ownership, and uh maybe kids soon sheesh!), The Monitor becomes more and more a relic of a time once had. It's still a stunner of a rock album, and I can count among the songs some of the best rock and roll songs of our lifetime, and that will never change, I don't think. But it might not kick me in the gut forever. We'll see.
So here we are, on the eve of The Most Lamentable Tragedy, the ostensibly true follow-up to The Monitor (Local Business was lean and mean, and fucking incredible, but in a way that's very different than my favorite sprawling epic). I don't want to set my expectations too high. It's getting great reviews but I am using cautious optimism.
Because the thing is, my life isn't really a Tragedy. And I know there'll be value in the album—I'll always be miserable sometimes, and I'll always be able to relate to this miserable, uplifting music. But the way that The Monitor hit me in my 21st year, I dunno if an album will be able to rock me emotionally ever again.
Goddamn though, I'd love to see Titus Andronicus try.
See y'all at 5 AM tomorrow morning.
It was early Spring of 2010. I was driving around in a shitty Toyota Camry, 1991 edition, commuting back and forth between my parents' house and La Salle on those few days a week I actually had class. I was single, and sleeping on couches on the weekends, because it was pretty evident at that point that no women were inviting me into their beds. Life was weird. It felt weird because at that point in my life, La Salle's campus was my home, and I didn't live there. I was just squatting. I was constantly on the precipice of expulsion—at least, that's what my nemeses in Community Development wanted me to think. Inebriation was pretty standard. I mean, shit, I wasn't like drunk driving or anything, but my Four Lokos were usually three quarters empty, and for the first time in my life, it made me more sad than ecstatic. The Spring of 2010, man, fucking weird.
Anyways, enter The Monitor. I had always listened to Titus Andronicus. I was never a fanatic, I never took a trip up to New York to see them or anything, but "Fear and Loathing in Mahwah, NJ" was my fucking jam, and their second album seemed like it could be a stunner. It was.
The Monitor is a concept album. Loosely, of course—concept albums always are. But it had a theme. On its surface, it was about the Civil War. There are short interludes throughout of poems from that era, and songs allude to battles that happened during the war.
Really, though, the Civil War is used as a metaphor. The civil war, whereas in real life was North vs. South, brother vs. brother, is instead, in this allegory, an existential crisis of the self. Our hero (me, you) feels like his hometown can no longer contain him. The enemy is everywhere, and escape is imperative. The world is ripe to be explored, and though it would be painful to leave that hometown, he has to know what's out there.
There I was, in the Spring of 2010, and I too was driving through my hometown every day, wondering what the fuck it was all for. I had friends, I was getting a decent education, but it all felt so frivolous. Don't call it a meltdown; I survived, I made the best. But it was, all in all, a rough time in my life.
Patrick Stickles understood that. "Waking up, it's rarely worth it, / The same dark dread every morning... You will always be a loser." He was singing what I was feeling. And fuck, he was singing it with such abandon. What he was singing about was a malaise, a depression. But he turned them into anthems.
A whole hour goes by of this. Anthem after anthem of how shitty you feel, but at the same time making you feel that you could possibly be on top of the world or at least punch a hole through the roof of your Camry.
The album ends with "The Battle of Hampton Roads." Our hero (me, you) returns to his hometown, having discovered OUT THERE that where he needs to be is RIGHT HERE. The civil war wracking his brain is over. He discovers that he already has everything he needs. He'll always be a loser, but he will make the best of it.
Not everything is perfect. It never will be. Just listen to the final, triumphant guitar riffs. The solo stretches for minutes, and it soars over every fucking mountaintop. The entire album is leading up to this point, the whole band is barreling towards the big fucking finale, we reach the climax... and the guitar goofs up. There's one note in there that is not supposed to be there. It's just one note, but it's more of a squawk of the amplifier than anything. Thirteen minutes of "The Battle of Hampton Roads" ends in a fuck-up.
I've probably been close to tears every time I hear that discordant note. It's beautiful in its imperfection. It lets you know that the work is never done. You'll always be a loser. You make the best of it, but that's WORK, and you gotta give it your best every day, even when you fuck up. And kids like us, we're gonna fuck up a lot.
I don't know if The Monitor means as much today as it did back then. I still consider it my favorite album of all time, but as the years go by, and I settle down into a comfortable and happy life (e.g., marriage, home ownership, and uh maybe kids soon sheesh!), The Monitor becomes more and more a relic of a time once had. It's still a stunner of a rock album, and I can count among the songs some of the best rock and roll songs of our lifetime, and that will never change, I don't think. But it might not kick me in the gut forever. We'll see.
So here we are, on the eve of The Most Lamentable Tragedy, the ostensibly true follow-up to The Monitor (Local Business was lean and mean, and fucking incredible, but in a way that's very different than my favorite sprawling epic). I don't want to set my expectations too high. It's getting great reviews but I am using cautious optimism.
Because the thing is, my life isn't really a Tragedy. And I know there'll be value in the album—I'll always be miserable sometimes, and I'll always be able to relate to this miserable, uplifting music. But the way that The Monitor hit me in my 21st year, I dunno if an album will be able to rock me emotionally ever again.
Goddamn though, I'd love to see Titus Andronicus try.
See y'all at 5 AM tomorrow morning.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Half Decade in Music: 2010-2014
In addition to last year's Best Music List, I also created one for the half decade. I'm going to post it here, but I'm not going to advertise it on Facebook or Twitter. It's too many opinions by yours truly; I'm not that needy for attention. If you happen to stumble upon this, enjoy. Not much work was put into this, and I may add descriptions for each album / song later, but for now, it's just a list.
Top 40 Albums of 2010-2014
40. Smoke Ring for My Halo by Kurt Vile
39. Muchacho by Phosphorescent
38. Heartland by Owen Pallett
37. Port of Morrow by the Shins
36. A Thing Called Divine Fits by Divine Fits
35. Father, Son, Holy Ghost by Girls
34. The Suburbs by Arcade Fire
33. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy by Kanye West
32. Expo 86 by Wolf Parade
31. Kaputt by Destroyer
30. Teeth Dreams by the Hold Steady
29. Contra by Vampire Weekend
28. Strange Mercy by St. Vincent
27. Before Today by Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
26. Trouble Will Find Me by the National
25. Pedestrian Verse by Frightened Rabbit
24. Run the Jewels 2 by Run the Jewels
23. Attack on Memory by Cloud Nothings
22. good kid, m.A.A.d city by Kendrick Lamar
21. St. Vincent by St. Vincent
20. Brill Bruisers by the New Pornographers
19. Reflektor by Arcade Fire
18. Local Business by Titus Andronicus
17. Torches by Foster the People
16. Wrecking Ball by Bruce Springsteen
15. Shame, Shame by Dr. Dog
14. Congratulations by MGMT
13. Yeezus by Kanye West
12. This Is Happening by LCD Soundsystem
11. The Wild Hunt by the Tallest Man on Earth
10. Transgender Dysphoria Blues by Against Me!
9. Modern Vampires of the City by Vampire Weekend
8. Days Are Gone by Haim
7. The King Is Dead by the Decemberists
6. The Age of Adz by Sufjan Stevens
5. Stuck on Nothing and Love Sign by Free Energy
4. The Silver Gymnasium by Okkervil River
3. David Comes to Life by Fucked Up
2. Celebration Rock by Japandroids
1. The Monitor by Titus Andronicus
Top 80 Songs of 2010-2014
80. "Jamie Marie" by Girls
79. "Lorelai" by Fleet Foxes
78. "Lewis Takes Action" by Owen Pallett
77. "Fairweather Friends" by Queens of the Stone Age
76. "Avocado, Baby!" by Los Campesinos!
75. "Rock & Roll" by Dr. Dog
74. "Oblivion" by Grimes
73. "If I Could Change Your Mind" by Haim
72. "We R Who We R" by Kesha
71. "New Friend Jesus" by Craig Finn
70. "If You Can't See My Mirrors" by the New Pornographers
69. "Mean" by Taylor Swift
68. "Foolish Father" by Weezer
67. "How Can You Really" by Foxygen
66. "Caffeinated Consciousness" by TV on the Radio
65. "I Love It" by Icona Pop
64. "Cave-o-sapien" by Wolf Parade
63. "Friday" by Rebecca Black
62. "Wonder Years" by Real Estate
61. "Holy" by Frightened Rabbit
60. "Jesus Fever" by Kurt Vile
59. "Ungrateful" by Streetlight Manifesto
58. "Wrecking Ball" by Bruce Springsteen
57. "I Should Live in Salt" by the National
56. "Little Secrets" by Passion Pit
55. "Backstreet Freestyle" by Kendrick Lamar
54. "Roger That" by Young Money
53. "Midnight City" by M83
52. "Your Graduation" by Modern Baseball
51. "Soldier's Rock" by Owen Pallett
50. "Round and Round" by Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
49. "I Was a Teenage Anarchist" by Against Me!
48. "Impossible Sky" by Woods
47. "Freedom at 21" by Jack White
46. "Surgeon" by St. Vincent
45. "Baby Missiles" by the War on Drugs
44. "All of the Lights" by Kanye West
43. "War on the East Coast" by the New Pornographers
42. "White Sky" by Vampire Weekend
41. "Congratulations" by MGMT
40. "New Slaves" by Kanye West
39. "Song for Zula" by Phosphorescent
38. "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift
37. "On a Balcony" by Okkervil River
36. "Texaco Bitches" by Broken Social Scene
35. "We Are Young" by fun.
34. "Here Comes the Night Time" by Arcade Fire
33. "The House That Heaven Built" by Japandroids
32. "Digital Witness" by St. Vincent
31. "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People
30. "You're Going Back" by the Tallest Man on Earth
29. "Giving Up the Gun" by Vampire Weekend
28. "Bay of Pigs (Detail)" by Destroyer
27. "Oh My Darling Don't Cry" by Run the Jewels
26. "Step" by Vampire Weekend
25. "45" by the Gaslight Anthem
24. "FUCKMYLIFE666" by Against Me!
23. "Swimming Pools (Drank)" by Kendrick Lamar
22. "Wild Child" by Brett Dennen
21. "Spinners" by the Hold Steady
20. "Who Needs You" by the Orwells
19. "Fuckin' Problems" by A$AP Rocky
18. "Where'd All the Time Go?" by Dr. Dog
17. "Ecce Homo" / "Still Life with Hot Deuce on Silver Platter" by Titus Andronicus
16. "Down Down the Deep River" by Okkervil River
15. "Casey" by the Menzingers
14. "Theme from 'Cheers'" by Titus Andronicus
13. "Bloodbuzz Ohio" by the National
12. "Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)" by Arcade Fire
11. "Simple Song" by the Shins
10. "Calamity Song" by the Decemberists
9. "Impossible Soul" by Sufjan Stevens
8. "Forever" by Haim
7. "Under Cover of Darkness" by the Strokes
6. "Queen of Hearts" by Fucked Up
5. "Bang Pop" by Free Energy
4. "Dance Yrself Clean" by LCD Soundsystem
3. "Younger Us" by Japandroids
2. "Four Score and Seven" by Titus Andronicus
1. "Stay Useless" by Cloud Nothings
Top 40 Albums of 2010-2014
40. Smoke Ring for My Halo by Kurt Vile
39. Muchacho by Phosphorescent
38. Heartland by Owen Pallett
37. Port of Morrow by the Shins
36. A Thing Called Divine Fits by Divine Fits
35. Father, Son, Holy Ghost by Girls
34. The Suburbs by Arcade Fire
33. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy by Kanye West
32. Expo 86 by Wolf Parade
31. Kaputt by Destroyer
30. Teeth Dreams by the Hold Steady
29. Contra by Vampire Weekend
28. Strange Mercy by St. Vincent
27. Before Today by Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
26. Trouble Will Find Me by the National
25. Pedestrian Verse by Frightened Rabbit
24. Run the Jewels 2 by Run the Jewels
23. Attack on Memory by Cloud Nothings
22. good kid, m.A.A.d city by Kendrick Lamar
21. St. Vincent by St. Vincent
20. Brill Bruisers by the New Pornographers
19. Reflektor by Arcade Fire
18. Local Business by Titus Andronicus
17. Torches by Foster the People
16. Wrecking Ball by Bruce Springsteen
15. Shame, Shame by Dr. Dog
14. Congratulations by MGMT
13. Yeezus by Kanye West
12. This Is Happening by LCD Soundsystem
11. The Wild Hunt by the Tallest Man on Earth
10. Transgender Dysphoria Blues by Against Me!
9. Modern Vampires of the City by Vampire Weekend
8. Days Are Gone by Haim
7. The King Is Dead by the Decemberists
6. The Age of Adz by Sufjan Stevens
5. Stuck on Nothing and Love Sign by Free Energy
4. The Silver Gymnasium by Okkervil River
3. David Comes to Life by Fucked Up
2. Celebration Rock by Japandroids
1. The Monitor by Titus Andronicus
Top 80 Songs of 2010-2014
80. "Jamie Marie" by Girls
79. "Lorelai" by Fleet Foxes
78. "Lewis Takes Action" by Owen Pallett
77. "Fairweather Friends" by Queens of the Stone Age
76. "Avocado, Baby!" by Los Campesinos!
75. "Rock & Roll" by Dr. Dog
74. "Oblivion" by Grimes
73. "If I Could Change Your Mind" by Haim
72. "We R Who We R" by Kesha
71. "New Friend Jesus" by Craig Finn
70. "If You Can't See My Mirrors" by the New Pornographers
69. "Mean" by Taylor Swift
68. "Foolish Father" by Weezer
67. "How Can You Really" by Foxygen
66. "Caffeinated Consciousness" by TV on the Radio
65. "I Love It" by Icona Pop
64. "Cave-o-sapien" by Wolf Parade
63. "Friday" by Rebecca Black
62. "Wonder Years" by Real Estate
61. "Holy" by Frightened Rabbit
60. "Jesus Fever" by Kurt Vile
59. "Ungrateful" by Streetlight Manifesto
58. "Wrecking Ball" by Bruce Springsteen
57. "I Should Live in Salt" by the National
56. "Little Secrets" by Passion Pit
55. "Backstreet Freestyle" by Kendrick Lamar
54. "Roger That" by Young Money
53. "Midnight City" by M83
52. "Your Graduation" by Modern Baseball
51. "Soldier's Rock" by Owen Pallett
50. "Round and Round" by Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
49. "I Was a Teenage Anarchist" by Against Me!
48. "Impossible Sky" by Woods
47. "Freedom at 21" by Jack White
46. "Surgeon" by St. Vincent
45. "Baby Missiles" by the War on Drugs
44. "All of the Lights" by Kanye West
43. "War on the East Coast" by the New Pornographers
42. "White Sky" by Vampire Weekend
41. "Congratulations" by MGMT
40. "New Slaves" by Kanye West
39. "Song for Zula" by Phosphorescent
38. "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift
37. "On a Balcony" by Okkervil River
36. "Texaco Bitches" by Broken Social Scene
35. "We Are Young" by fun.
34. "Here Comes the Night Time" by Arcade Fire
33. "The House That Heaven Built" by Japandroids
32. "Digital Witness" by St. Vincent
31. "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People
30. "You're Going Back" by the Tallest Man on Earth
29. "Giving Up the Gun" by Vampire Weekend
28. "Bay of Pigs (Detail)" by Destroyer
27. "Oh My Darling Don't Cry" by Run the Jewels
26. "Step" by Vampire Weekend
25. "45" by the Gaslight Anthem
24. "FUCKMYLIFE666" by Against Me!
23. "Swimming Pools (Drank)" by Kendrick Lamar
22. "Wild Child" by Brett Dennen
21. "Spinners" by the Hold Steady
20. "Who Needs You" by the Orwells
19. "Fuckin' Problems" by A$AP Rocky
18. "Where'd All the Time Go?" by Dr. Dog
17. "Ecce Homo" / "Still Life with Hot Deuce on Silver Platter" by Titus Andronicus
16. "Down Down the Deep River" by Okkervil River
15. "Casey" by the Menzingers
14. "Theme from 'Cheers'" by Titus Andronicus
13. "Bloodbuzz Ohio" by the National
12. "Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)" by Arcade Fire
11. "Simple Song" by the Shins
10. "Calamity Song" by the Decemberists
9. "Impossible Soul" by Sufjan Stevens
8. "Forever" by Haim
7. "Under Cover of Darkness" by the Strokes
6. "Queen of Hearts" by Fucked Up
5. "Bang Pop" by Free Energy
4. "Dance Yrself Clean" by LCD Soundsystem
3. "Younger Us" by Japandroids
2. "Four Score and Seven" by Titus Andronicus
1. "Stay Useless" by Cloud Nothings
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