I'm actively trying to stay away from creating too much COVID-related content for this blog. I know I've dipped into those waters a few times in the This Is My Blood column, but that's basically been it so far. My reasoning is that you already get enough information about the virus pumped into your brain every hour of every day, it's all anyone can think about or talk about (well, that and Tiger King, I guess?!). You don't need any more of that from your friendly local bullshit blog. It's not worth the risk of dropping the pall any further over any small semblance of optimism we can find these days.
Still, I think it's worth trying to find some silver linings in all this, and writing about them. Life is strange and deadly, but there is some good to be found buried under all the chaos. So for today's Top Five Tuesday, I'm going to list the five most important ways life has moderately improved for me personally. I'm not writing any of this in an attempt to minimize the destruction that is happening around the globe right now—people are dying, and that's fucking important and scary and tough to comprehend—and I'm not writing any of this to rub it in anyone's faces that I haven't been hit as hard as others.
I'm simply writing this because right about now, I need to count my blessings. It's important for my mental health. I need to find those silver linings in the dark clouds that gather, or else I'm going to go fucking insane. And the only way I can process those silver linings is by writing about them.
If life has you down too, and you don't want to read about any fucking self-serving optimism, then I implore you to skip the rest of this blog post, and reach out to me. Text, call, Facebook DM, or comment below this blog post if you need help. I got you, fam. Seriously, do it. Hit me up. Let's do this together, even if we have to do this apart.
Top Five Silver Linings
5. We've been pretty motivated to eat good. When I say "good," I do not mean "healthy," for better or worse. I'm saying that we've been ordering out a lot from all our favorite spots in the neighborhood (more on that below), and have otherwise been cooking and baking and getting really into new recipes—got nothing but time at home, so why not try some new food?
4. I am making more money at work, while actually working less. This is the one I feel most guilty about, and I will definitely be trying to even this out by donating a little bit to charity. But as far as my employment goes, it's pretty secure (if I find myself out of work, that means the city has completely collapsed, and so there would be bigger concerns than my own personal paycheck), and though I'm considered "essential," I'm only working about twice a week. But I'm still getting paid for all five days. On top of that, the days that I have been told to come to work were at overtime rates, which is insane. As I'm writing this, I'm getting an email from the higher ups saying that too many people took advantage of this hazard pay, and so they are cutting the OT for everyone starting this week. I'm not complaining. Keep that dirty extra money, as long as I'm paid what I'm owed.
3. I feel more connected with my community. This probably counts as irony, that I feel this way while simultaneously being legally barred from interacting with my neighbors. But I feel it with the businesses—we're ordering out food more because we want to support our local businesses, and you can tell that those who own the businesses are sincerely appreciative. I feel it during those rare interactions at distances of six feet or more—everyone is polite at the supermarket and the pharmacy, and you can tell everyone is doing their best to stay upbeat. I can feel it in the small off-beat activities that Philly is getting into—Pam and the girls are part of a Facebook group that encourages all of Philly to draw or paint something specific and hang it in their doorways. Last week, Pam and Willow fingerpainted the eight planets, and they hung on our screen door. There's a sense of community, even stuck isolated from said community.
2. I have more time to connect with the kids than I would normally. Since I'm only at work two days a week, I'm at home for five days a week, and we've been having some fun. Some frustration too, obviously, but c'mon, who wouldn't jump at the opportunity to hang with a two-year-old all day instead of going to their damn job? Last week, me and Willow and Martha were all playing with a balloon, and both of the kids were cracking up. It was the first time I made Martha laugh, and it was the first time I really felt connected to her as a human being (as opposed to as her frazzled caretaker). Probably wouldn't have happened if I was at work.
1. This all makes the idea of finding "what you can do for your country" insanely simple. The question of how we can best benefit our country as individuals is a question that has fractured and divided us for my entire lifetime, but the coronavirus crisis brings the current answer into sharp focus. It couldn't be easier—stay the fuck at home, and save lives. Wash your hands, and save lives. Sacrifice your social life and possibly your wallet, and save lives. Ignore the idiots crowding the parks and spreading the disease, ignore the buffoons in the White House and their lack of leadership, ignore those who are giving the call to get back to work in a craven and deadly attempt to help the stock market. Fuck it all. There's one thing to do now, one thing that will stop millions from dying in the biggest catastrophe in American history—STAY THE FUCK AT HOME. I'm not saying it's easy to do, but it's easy to understand, and that's what makes it the best silver lining of all.
Crunch is a dark peanut butter porter from Manayunk Brewery. I had it with lunch because it was that kind of fucking day. God, this was a good beer—not as creamy as you'd imagine, but with plenty of peanut flavor with the roasted malts. Good shit.
But you may think that this sounds familiar, and if so, you're right. I drank a beer that I guess was a variation of Crunch already, back in mid-February. That one was called King Crunch, and it had the same general mouthfeel, but with its peanut butter / chocolate aroma and taste was an added banana flavor. That one was pretty great too.
I thought about the comparison between the two for a while, but then I realized that I don't often do any looking back for this column, do I? Writing for a different beer every day, I am always looking forward.
That's why I'm so caught off-guard whenever someone asks me "What was the best beer you've had this year?" I've been grading the beers, but almost always immediately forget what I graded them. I haven't been ranking beers. I honestly don't even feel like I've learned anything so far.
But I think today, after exactly 1/4 of the year done, it might be time for some very short retrospection. What are some of the best and worst beers I've had?
As we found out the other day, having a cool brewery doesn't automatically equate to having great beer. Eraserhood, however, is the go-to for beers at Love City. I could drink this shit all day.
I hate to say it, but this Boston beer hit the spot. If we are considering "crushable" as beers you can easily drink 20 of them in one sitting, then this is the one.
I had a really tough time with this final category, because there are just so many good beers that I've had this year. But I chose this beer because my first AHA! moment occurred while drinking it—some IPAs with too much tropical flavors suck ass, but IPAs with little flavor and a monster bite are really fucking good.
Obviously, there are beers that I loved that I didn't have the room to discuss here. Go back and read the rest of the column, if you'd like... though I wouldn't recommend it, some of this bullshit I type is absolute trash.
NOTES
BEER: Crunch
GENRE: American Porter ABV: 6.0%
BREWED BY: Manayunk Brewery and Restaurant LOCATION: 17th grade
PURCHASED AT: I'm pretty sure it was Capital Beer... it's been a while, I didn't want to drink it to close to King Crunch
PAIRED WITH: Watching Roy Halladay's 2010 perfect game on YouTube (I miss the Phillies)
Welcome back to Your Favorite Movie, where we take advantage of an amnesiac friend by telling them "but you always wanted to talk about your favorite movie for my blog."
This week's gaslighting victim is Bridget D*** (or, as my daughters will eventually call her I suppose, "Auntie Ketchup," for reasons I still am not quite sure I understand). We've been friends with Bridget since she moved to Philly to join her sister Maeve. If you know Bridget, you know that she is very easy to be friends with, so we've been friends ever since she called the greatest city on earth home.
Her favorite movie of all time is the Russell/Hawn family flick Overboard (the 1987 version, not the 2018 version). We gathered around the dining room table in Port Richmond (for what would end up being one of the final times we had anyone over for a while) and talked shopped.
Below is the results, transcribed with Bridget's permission, and edited slightly because Martha still doesn't have a goddamn bedtime. Either this was a great conversation, or I recently fell off a boat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe: You're okay with me recording?
Bridget: Yes. I feel like a Sixer.
Joe: Yeah, how can we relate this movie to the Sixers? I couldn't think of anything.
Bridget: Oh, there's nothing. [laughter] There's nothing. None of them have seen it. None of them want to see it.
Pam: None of them have fallen off a ship and lost their memory.
Bridget: God, that... I would catfish them. "I know Matisse Thybulle! I'm picking him up!"
Joe: You said that this interview was going to be a "lovefest for Kurt Russell."
Bridget: He's definitely peak Kurt Russell. I don't know if you guys remember Maeve's birthday party [Editor's note: the theme of Maeve's 29th birthday party was "Russellmania," requiring all guests to dress as their favorite movie character from a Kurt Russell movie], when I wore jeans and a white tank top, and I kept trying to do the hand extension thing. Remember that from the movie? When he's in the white cut-off, full nipples exposed.
Pam: That's when she remembered that it was him, right?
Bridget: My dad would go around the house doing that, because he thought it was funny. [laughter] But yeah, that was definitely a vital memory from growing up. Him doing that, and my mom being like, "Ooh, Kurt Russell." And his hair in this is really good. Hair length is good.
Pam: Almost a mullet?
Bridget: Not quite a mullet. Which is why I would say that I love it so much.
Pam: I mean, it was '87, so...
Bridget: It's good stuff. He's nice and greased up, but not too much.
Pam: He's greased up in a good way.
Bridget: It's no volleyball scene in Top Gun, with full bottle of baby oil.
Joe: So, yes... this is a lovefest for Kurt Russell.
Bridget: For sure.
Joe: Okay, so I want to quote you in something—
Bridget: [laughter]
Joe: What?
Bridget: No, I don't know what you're going to say.
Pam: Uh oh. Is this going to be something from Facebook?
Joe: No, I actually couldn't find anything on Facebook for Bridget and Overboard. I was going to say that when you picked that Hozier album for Record Club, and I asked "why did you pick this album?" one of the things you wrote was "My love for him is probably heavily connected to the fact that he is 6'5 with a manbun." And that idea, I think, probably interested me more than you even intended it to. It's made me wonder ever since how connected our love for entertainment is to how attracted we are to artist.
Bridget: Ooh, that's interesting. With Hozier, I do really like his music, and the fact that he is a big tall guy with long hair definitely helps.
Bridget: I think seeing him in concert helped. I saw him in concert, and was like, "He sounds exactly the same in person as he does on his record." Which is great. But I think I would still like his record if I had no idea what he looked like.
Joe: Would you like Overboard as much if Kurt Russell was ugly?
Bridget: I probably wouldn't have liked it as much.
Pam: Me neither.
Bridget: But that's the whole point, that this super beautiful Goldie Hawn has this crazy situation, and this totally hot guy—and they do get together in real life—get together in the movie. That's the whole point. It's a Hollywood movie.
Joe: And I guess in general, Hollywood actors and actresses are better looking than the hoi polloi. There were a lot of actresses on Instagram doing the makeup-free—
Bridget: Makeup-Free Monday Demi Lovato baby!
Pam: Alicia Keys started that. She doesn't wear makeup at all. I don't think she wore makeup at the Grammys.
Joe: But they all look the same! She's still attractive.
Pam: That's Hollywood.
Bridget: If you guys were casting Overboard now, who would you cast as these characters? I know they did a remake—
Joe: Which we'll definitely get to.
Bridget: We can talk about that later.
Joe: So are we talking about making an exact remake in 2020?
Bridget: With maybe less... sexist comments?
Joe: And I definitely want to talk about that as well.
Bridget: It's tough on the rewatch.
Joe: I don't even know if we're going to agree on that point. But... okay. I'm never good at this casting game.
Bridget: I feel like you should cast [Goldie Hawn's actual] daughter, Kate Hudson.
Pam: [laughter] I was going to Wyatt Russell, but that would be weird.
Bridget: I would definitely cast Hudson as the girl. But for the guy, I would do... this is tough. In my head, I want to say Chris Pine. Not Chris Pratt. Someone who was in Avengers, a Marvel guy. Someone who's big and strong.
Joe: Like Jonah Hill.
Bridget: Ah, he's one of my biggest celebrity crushes. I would love that!
Pam: Post Malone. [laughter]
Bridget: Oh my god, I would be deceased on the floor if that happened. I would just die die die. I'll DM him about that later.
Pam: I was trying to think of how the '80s-ness of Kurt Russell would translate in 2020.
Bridget: Because he's that sort of "thick" guy. That was the '80s body type. It's definitely changed now, where you have to have a twelve-pack. Then, it was like, "Oh, he's just a strong guy."
Joe: We could go in the opposite direction. We could make a small indie flick, and cast a dweeby dude. Like Timothy Chalamet.
Bridget: No! He wouldn't be Dean!
Pam: He would be one of the kids! [laughter]
Bridget: Yeah, he would be Travis a.k.a. Roy.
Pam: I also feel like—and this is because we just watched this movie, and we were talking about celebrity crushes—Jason Segel?
Bridget: That would be great. He'd bring a little comedy to the role. I could mess with that.
Joe: This is absolutely the first movie I've ever seen that had Goldie Hawn in it.
Bridget: Ever?!
Joe: I've never seen any of her movies. I parsed through her IMDB, and—don't look it up [Pam].
Pam: I'm just looking it up for my own reference!
Bridget: I feel like I've seen a bunch of movies with her in them. But she was great!
Joe: Yeah, she was good. I didn't really know anything about her.
Bridget: I like her a lot. I also like how they've been together, in real life, since they met I think on this movie.
Joe: This is actually their third of four movies together. Until recently, it was their third of three, but they were in some fucking B-list Christmas movie together. The Christmas Chronicles?
Bridget: Oh yeah, that's great.
Joe: Of course you've seen it. Jesus.
Bridget: We watched it as a family! [laughter] We love Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.
Pam: [looking at her motherfucking phone] I've probably seen a handful of these.
Bridget: I feel like she was just a quintessential '80s actress. Super pretty, fun, always played a ditzy blonde with a heart of gold.
Pam: Even if I hadn't seen a lot of her movies, I would definitely have known who she is.
Joe: I wouldn't have.
Pam:Overboard is the first movie that comes up [on my phone], so it's obviously her most popular. And I forgot it was her in Death Becomes Her. I love that movie. Meryl Streep's in that too.
Joe: Alright, do you mind putting the phone down? It's so hard to transcribe when you're reading off your phone, because I won't know what's going on.
Pam: We're just talking about movies that Goldie Hawn is in.
Joe: I know, but then we get onto something else, and you're still reading off your phone.
Joe: That makes sense, because he created Laverne & Shirley too, right?
Pam: I mean... I can't look it up, so I can't tell you. [laughter]
Bridget: Is this his only directorial role?
Pam: I'm almost positive he's in—and if this is incorrect, you have to take it out, because I know Drew will flip his shit—I'm almost positive that in Hocus Pocus—we've all seen Hocus Pocus, right?—he plays the guy who's dressed like the devil, and his wife is played by Penny Marshall. [Editor's note: Relax, everybody, she's right.]
Joe: That makes sense.
Bridget: I didn't know that. But I guess Overboard does have some Happy Days positive vibes.
Joe: Before he died, he did the Love Actually—
Pam: Really?!
Joe: —sequels.
Pam: Oh...
Joe: You know, the Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve, Mother's Day trilogy?
Bridget: True classics. [laughter] Taylor Swift's acting debut. We're still talking about it!
Pam: Taylor and Taylor!
Joe: Was that really her debut?
Pam: Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner. You're learning a lot today, aren't you?
Joe: I am!
Bridget: I love pop culture.
Joe: I mean, we could keep going through these people from Overboard. Leslie Dixon, who wrote it, also wrote Mrs. Doubtfire.
Bridget: I love that movie too! I feel like it's similar jokes.
Joe: She also wrote or co-wrote Look Who's Talking, which was produced by the same chick that wrote Clueless, so there's a connection.
Bridget: You're truly naming a bunch of great flicks. Okay, okay, this makes sense.
Joe: He was in Curb. Apparently he was in pilot for Deadwood.
Pam: He was in Curb Your Enthusiam?
Joe: Apparently.
Pam: Maybe that's where I recognize him from. There's a lot of people in Curb.
Joe: But you're right, he's probably just one of those character actors that's in everything. This is probably his biggest role, right? Let's see. Edward Herrmann, who plays Grant, is—
Bridget: The grandpop from Gilmore Girls! I remember when Gilmore Girls first came out—and it takes place in Connecticut, where I'm from—and it was huge. We loved it. Me and Maeve's reaction were just like, "What the hell?"
Joe: "It's that slut from Overboard!"?
Bridget: Yeah! The guy from Overboard, and now he's playing a grandpa! I don't know the time difference. When did Gilmore Girls come out, 2004 or 2005?
Pam: No, maybe before then.
Bridget: Obviously, there's an editor's note here. [Editor's note: 2000! So thirteen years after Overboard.] But it wasn't that long of a time in between playing this young hot toddy bachelor, to playing a grandpa who's like [snooty voice] "We have someone who does that for us." Well... I guess he does play similar characters in both.
Joe: Maybe he was making up for the fact that he wasn't actually the rich on in Overboard, right? How do we feel about that twist?
Pam: That was great.
Bridget: I love that plot twist.
Joe: Was it just in service of the joke about the kids making their Christmas lists? Because that was a good joke.
Bridget: He had to have been a little rich, just not as rich as her?
Pam: They were probably married because they were both rich.
Bridget: Exactly. If you're in that rich people social circle in New York, or wherever she's from—
Pam: Right, you're going to marry someone comes from that.
Joe: So that maybe softens the Joanna character a little bit? Because at first you assume this is just some fucking gold digger.
Bridget: Absolutely.
Pam: I mean, I guess you should know that she is the rich one, though, because of all the times she is talking with her mom on the phone, and you can see the mom is very rich.
Bridget: With that freaking dog...
Joe: I guess I might've assumed that the mom was leaching off of Grant's money too?
Pam: It's probably an assumption we both made, and that's unfair. Willow did love that dog though.
Bridget: It's so cute.
Pam: Willow was up until ten o'clock at night—
Joe: Which was fucked up.
Pam: —and she was like, "Puppy!"
Bridget: I'm telling you, I think she was around the same I was when I first saw this movie.
Joe: So the D***s watched this movie together?
Bridget: We talked about this earlier—it's one of those movies that, if it's on TV, we will stop what we're doing and watch this. This is a movie for which I have countless memories, of me and my sister and my mom, laying in our parents' bed, and being like, "Overboard's on!" Starting halfway through, and finishing it. Starting thirty minutes before the end of the movie, and finishing it. Looking it up, when the new Comcast remotes came out and you could search when the next time something was going to be on. It was this movie, and—
Joe: If we held a gun to your mother's head... no, wait, if Grant held a bow and arrow to your mother's head, and she had to name her favorite movie out of those two, which would she choose?
Bridget: She would say Princess Bride.
Joe: Would she?
Bridget: Yeah.
Joe: Does she know that that's Maeve's favorite, and your favorite is Overboard?
Bridget: I don't know!
Pam: I feel like Princess Bride is super quotable.
Bridget: Oh yeah, my parents will quote that movie all the time. But they will also quote this movie. Just little lines.
Joe: They'll talk like Pee Wee Herman?
Bridget: Oh, always. Constantly. So I feel like Princess Bride is a more quotable movie, and more fantastical. Whereas this is just a classic rom-com. Such a good rom-com-y movie. It's always enjoyable to me. Every time I was it, I'm like, "Ah, this ending!" Sometimes I get a little misty-eyed, when they reunite.
Pam: Yeah. What's the time difference? Which came out first?
Bridget:When Harry Met Sally was the early '90s.
Pam: So this came out before then. I guess When Harry Met Sally was talking about the tropes. Overboard had the grand gesture at the end.
Joe: You're saying that When Harry Met Sally was more explicit about it. Maybe turned those tropes on their head a little bit.
Bridget: Definitely.
Joe:Roger Ebert's review was basically like, you know what's going to happen in this movie. Within the first fifteen minutes, you know how this movie is going to end. But you're still sold on the acting and the charm of the movie, as opposed to being surprised at all by anything that's happening here. Which I thought was true. Because if it wasn't for the jokes that I laughed at, and the acting, then I think it would be a shitty movie.
Bridget: Oh yeah, or just a very generic movie. I feel like they do things in it that make it a little bit better. One of my favorite scenes is when it's one of the first days she's awake, and she's making sandwiches for the boys, and it's like peanut butter, jelly, and mayo. [laughter] And she's just shaking M&Ms into a brown bag, and she's like "Here ya go," and one of the boys is like, "You're doing great, Mom," and she's like "...thanks." And then she does all her chores, and she uses the saw, and... that scene will never not make me laugh. It's hysterical! The fact that she's never done any of these tasks, and then she's left alone to her own devices, and she's like, "I guess I have to figure this out..." It's just so fun to me.
Joe: I found it a little relatable, in a less zany way, like if Martha's going nuts, and I'm trying to fix a bottle, there's that pressure.
Pam: My whole life is like that.
Joe: Right, so you can probably speak more to that.
Bridget: It's chaotic, and she jumps right into it. With four kids!
Joe: Wouldn't you be able to tell if you didn't have a kid? Biologically speaking?
Pam: I don't think so. What do you [Bridget] think, as a labor and delivery nurse?
Bridget: I feel like your boobs... like, if you breastfed? That's the only thing I could think of.
Pam: Or your stomach, the stretch marks.
Joe: "I have four kids and I look like Goldie Hawn?" [laughter]
Pam: I think that's something you just have to overlook to enjoy this movie.
Bridget: The Hollywood Effect.
Joe: That's fine. I hate sounding like I'm nitpicking too much about these movies, because I liked this movie. It was a good movie.
Bridget: Honestly, that's a glowing review from you. [laughter] I was like, "Wow, this movie could go over in one of two ways."
Pam: I loved it. I thought it was so fun.
Bridget: It's just a classic, feel-good...
Pam: I feel like if it was on TV now, I would stop and watch it.
Bridget: It was always on TBS, channel 16, growing up. It was just a fun mid-afternoon thing.
Pam: I had worn an orange life preserver for Maeve's birthday party, but I had never seen Overboard, I just wore it based on pictures I saw online. I should've worn an evening gown, now having seen the movie!
Joe: No, you should've worn the thong outfit. Oh man.
Bridget: Yeah, that would've been appropriate.
Joe: We have to role play. [laughter]
Pam: Strike that from the record. [laughter] We do still have that life-jacket downstairs though. [sarcastically] You look so much like Kurt Russell, Joe.
Pam: I think if Joe wore some high shorts in the summer. He has the bod of the Guy.
Bridget: He's a cool dude.
Pam: You have more hair than him.
Joe: True. Alright, so I'm better looking than the Guy.
Pam: Yeah...
Joe: Don't smirk at me!
Bridget: For the record, it was Martha smirking.
Pam: Do you not think the Guy is good looking?
Joe: It's tough for me to say as a very heterosexual male.
Pam: Do you [Bridget]?
Bridget: I think he's super cute.
Pam: He's your type. Though you were talking about tall guys with manbuns.
Bridget: You're right, the hair is a little patchy.
Pam: Do you watch Shrill?
Bridget: No, but I did listen to a podcast interview with the guy from it, and he really annoyed me.
Pam: Whenever Joe's beard gets a little too long, he's bordering on looking like that guy. [laughter] On that guy's best day, he looks like Joe on his worst day.
Bridget: That's a nice statement.
Joe:Is that a compliment?
Pam: Yes!
Joe: Sure. I'm somewhere between Dean and Billy, I guess.
Bridget: No! You're better looking than Dean.
Pam: Billy.
Bridget: Billy, sorry, I'm mixing up the characters.
Joe: If you want to say I'm better looking than Kurt Russell, then please, go ahead.
Bridget: Strike that from the record, please. [laughter] Kurty is better looking than Billy. And that's that. That's the take.
Joe: Alright, good interview, guys. [laughter]
Pam: Can't we keep just talking about who we think is hot?
Joe: I wanted to ask you both, as nurses, how you felt about the concept of amnesia in pop culture.
Bridget: I feel like this is very against ethical principles, according to today's standards—
Joe: Not how he took advantage of the amnesia patient. I'm talking about the amnesia itself. We'll get to that other thing, but the pin is still in it.
Bridget: Well, I don't really see amnesia, because I work in labor and delivery. But that's very much your [Pam] scope of practice.
Pam: I guess neuro patients would have memory loss, but if they have memory loss, they also have a lot of other shit going on. It's not that anyone there is fully functional except for the fact that they don't remember anything. It's usually short-term memory—sorry, I've been watching Finding Dory a lot [laughter]—but it actually is true that it's more short-term memory.
Joe: I guess I'm asking... we can all agree that pop culture has a not very realistic use of amnesia in a lot of these things.
Bridget: Especially with amnesia, it's usually amnesia of a certain time period, or you'll remember most things, but not a specific event.
Pam: Traumas, that type of thing.
Bridget: You would remember where you went to middle school, but you wouldn't remember what you had for dinner that night. You have some memory, and it seemed like Annie had nothing, no short-term or long-term. It's usually one or the other.
Pam: I feel like I've never met someone who was like, "I don't remember what my name is, or where I live," or anything like that. Unless you have Alzheimer's disease. Also—I know you watch Jane the Virgin, we did but we never finished it—I feel like that was a very tongue-in-cheek way of doing the amnesia thing. The whole time they were like, "Telenovela!" And they were right, it's a total telenovela plot.
Bridget: Nope, it's just like "This could all happen!" We can show someone on the news, and say, "Come pick her up!" That her actual husband could walk out of the hospital being like, "Nope, don't know her!" That could never happen today.
Joe: Especially because someone would see Grant's Instagram story of him fucking a hooker, or something like that.
Bridget: "Tfuti!!"
Joe: I guess I was more interested in... like Pam, you watched Grey's Anatomy, and you were offended by how medically inaccurate it was.
Pam: I hate Grey's Anatomy.
Bridget: It's so dumb.
Joe: So do you have the same feelings when you watch something that—
Pam: No. Not this. This is fun.
Bridget: It's more playful.
Joe: So amnesia is so fantastical as a plot device that you never—
Pam: No. I would never watch this and be like, "This would never happen," like I do every time I watch Grey's Anatomy.
Joe: I guess a boat captain wouldn't be watching Overboard being like, "Why wasn't he wearing his life jacket?!"? [laughter]
Pam: Right, it's just supposed to be fun.
Bridget: I don't think it's a "true story" or something. I don't think it would really happen.
Joe:Could it really happen? Do you wish?
Bridget: I wish it could... specifically, to Kurt Russell. [laughter]
Joe: All you have to do is push him overboard.
Pam: Or Post Malone.
Bridget: No, so many people would be trying to capture him. I'd be like [shushing sounds]. Also, I think his face tattoos would give it away.
Joe: No, you know Randy Newman! He's like [awful Randy Newman impression].
Bridget: What was the closing song?
Joe: I only knew this because his name was in the opening credits. It said "Original song by Randy Newman!"
Bridget: I can't think about it right now. All I can think about with the songs is "Go Jim Dandy."
Joe: Randy Newman is like a constant Oscar presence.
Pam: And again, we were watching Finding Dory today, and who was it, but—
Joe: Was that Randy Newman?
Pam: No, it was Thomas Newman, which we were saying we didn't know if that's his son, or what. Some relation. [Editor's note: Cousin.]
Joe: The entertainment business is all about nepotism. Which, ya know, if an actor like Wyatt Russell is going to rise to the top because of that, then so be it.
Pam: So is this the part where we get to talk about Wyatt Russell, and how much we love Wyatt Russell?
Joe: Yeah, sure.
Bridget: He's a perfect sweet angel boy.
Joe: I think out of the entire Russell/Hawn clan, Lodge 49 is the best thing that any of them have ever done.
Bridget: I like Almost Famous, with Kate Hudson. And she'll openly talk about how Kurt Russell is a father figure to her, and how she's known him since she was young.
Pam: I have never seen this movie, but I'm sure people will argue that How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is something that people love.
Bridget: It's another rom-com. It's fine.
Joe: Have you ever watched Lodge 49?
[Editor's note: cutting my pitch, I've alreadywritten about this enough]
Pam: It is funny though, because at this point, I've seen Wyatt Russell in more things than I've seen Kurt Russell, but they do share a lot of mannerisms. You see a lot of things that they do that are similar.
Joe: For me, knowing Wyatt Russell first, and then watching Overboard, it was like, "Oh fuck, it's Wyatt Russell!"
[cutting more Lodge 49 stuff, but seriously, go watch that shit!]
Joe: We can swing into the Overboard remake at this point in the interview. So the big thing about this remake is that the gender roles are reversed.
Bridget: It came out on my birthday like two years ago, so I went to go see it.
Joe: That was your birthday gift, going to see an Overboard remake?
Bridget: I knew the plot, going into it. Then it was "Oh, the roles are reversed." It was kind of fun. There were some plot twists, but it's the same story. You know there's going to be a big gesture at the end, and that's exactly what happens.
Joe: I mean, was the remake made just for the money? Or was there another reason to remake this movie?
Bridget: Eh, I think it was just for money. I don't think it was great. I think it was good. But I think it's funny that, in the '80s, she was the one who was rich, and he was using her, and then it was the opposite in the current one? It's just interesting. I definitely like the original one better. But the newer one was definitely interesting, because the rich guy was Mexican, and had money from his parents' building company, so a lot of the movie was in Spanish, and subtitled.
Joe: And he became friends with Mel Rodriguez, right? That was the only name I recognized besides Anna Faris. I guess he was the Billy role?
Bridget: Yeah. I think he might be a telenovela actor?
Joe: He was Jimmy McGill's friend before he became a lawyer.
Pam: Oh yeah!
Joe: And I guess he was on that show Last Man on Earth? [Editor's note: Also, the great one-season wonderEnlisted.]
Bridget: He was Eva Longoria's husband in this movie.
Joe: Really? Good for him, man!
Bridget: It's just enjoyable. But the original '80s one is better.
Pam: The original is always better. There's no way that a remake would be better.
Joe: How do you feel about the trend of placing women in what was previously a male role, in remakes in whatnot? Like, they did that with the High Fidelity show recently.
Bridget: I feel like it's a cool interesting way to do things. But at the same time, it doesn't matter. In this, it would've been Kurt Russell was the rich person, and Goldie Hawn was taking advantage, I think it would be the same story? With High Fidelity, though, maybe it would be a different story because it's told from a woman's perspective. I dunno. This story, it didn't matter, because they are falling in love with each other either way. Obviously, I'm very much in support of women having more powerful roles.
Joe: Absolutely. I guess my question would be, is that enough? Does that properly represent women in movies? By just putting them in roles that were previously men? Shouldn't it be more than that?
Bridget: I feel like there's always going to be people complaining. That's happening with Star Wars, with Rey being the primary character, and people are like, "They're just doing that because it was previously been all male characters."
Joe: I hope you don't think that's what I'm saying.
Bridget: No, no, I don't.
Pam: I'm trying to think of other examples.
Joe:Ghostbusters.
Bridget: I loved that new Ghostbusters movie.
Joe: I've never seen it, but I'm not equating myself with the people that—
Bridget: You're not an internet troll.
Joe: Exactly. I'm saying, could we have done Kate McKinnon better—
Bridget: By writing a different movie, instead of remaking something.
Joe: Right. It even could've been something in the Ghostbusters universe, while not just remaking the old Ghostbusters movie, but with females this time.
Pam:Ghostbusters is so beloved, and I feel like all those comedians were very happy to do that, and not disappointed to that it was just a remake.
Joe: Sure, and I don't even think we need to talk about shitty people and their shitty opinions. If there was a backlash against the new Ghostbusters just because it was all female, then fuck those people who backlashed against it. But I'm saying the opposite. Whether it was a good movie or not, maybe the women who were involved deserved better than to just remake a movie.
Bridget: I agree with that statement. Instead of remaking all these movies and claiming you are "progressive" just because you put a female in it, just make a new movie, and cast that character!
Joe: It just seems like a shortcut in the #MeToo era, like, "Give us your money, because now there's a female in this role." So... I dunno, did Anna Faris feel the same way?
Bridget: I don't know. That's an interesting point. I feel like she plays similar characters in her movies—"dumb blonde"—and she played that similarly in this movie.
Pam: She always plays a lovable airhead.
Bridget: Exactly. A lovable "blonde moment" type of character.
Bridget: Ugh, love that movie. So this is a similar role, except in Overboard, she's studying for her NCLEX.
Joe: With three daughters.
Bridget: And she gets this guy to come in because she's working three jobs to try to support her kids, and now he's the breadwinner, and working a construction job, while she can focus on studying. That's the question, is she going to pass her test?
Pam: She passes.
Bridget: She passes!
Joe: Roger Ebert again—you can predict what's going to happen. [laughter] There was actually a South Korean sitcom that was also based on Overboard. It premiered in 2006.
Bridget: Oh my god, I wish I watched that.
Joe: You probably can, now that South Korean art is becoming prominent in our culture, with Parasite winning at the Oscars. It's becoming more prevalent. The show was called Couple or Trouble.
Bridget: That sounds fun.
Pam: Is it a horror movie?
Joe: No! I said it's a sitcom!
Bridget: I just can't imagine a sitcom based on this.
Joe: I doubt it was a three-camera, laugh-track kind of thing, but...
Bridget: Can't imagine more than one season.
Joe: It pretty much starts the same way, where the male character is thrown overboard. But I guess he gets seriously injured when he gets thrown overboard? And ends up at the hospital. And she's comes to the hospital too, in the bed next to him.
Bridget: Oh, and then they fall in love.
Joe: He realizes that it's her, and takes advantage of her. And he happens to be raising three orphaned nephews, and convinces her that she is his live-in girlfriend, not wife. I guess that's more appropriate for a South Korean audience?
Bridget: Interesting.
Joe: I don't have any questions about this South Korean TV show, but...
Bridget: It sounds interesting.
Joe: Okay, so there was a remake, but could there be a sequel? There is not, obviously. Nor is there a musical—I looked that up. There is not.
Pam: Surprisingly! So many movies we talk about have musicals based on them.
Bridget: I wouldn't write the musical, but I do think it would be a great musical.
Joe: Somebody call Randy Newman!
Bridget: Could there be a sequel? This is tricky, because yes, there probably could... but what would be the end goal of the sequel?
Joe: Well, what's the goal of any sequel? This is a good question, actually, because I was thinking about this as we watched Finding Dory today. What is the goal of a sequel?
Pam: I feel like it's always a similar thing that had happened in the first one, but just to a different character.
Joe: Jarring notes in the same song, basically.
Bridget: Maybe a sequel would be they get pregnant and have another child. The transition of the characters from being—I don't want to say poor, but not well off, and then becoming rich. What would that transition look like? From him going to work every day, making a living, to being like, "Oh, I don't have to work." Do they all become assholes?
Joe: That's good, and I'm actually a proponent of sequels being completely different movies with the same characters, as opposed to rehashing the same plot. A Home Alone 2 situation.
Bridget: As long as the kid is still speaking like Pee Wee Herman.
Bridget: The Pee Wee Herman voice is his security blanket.
Joe: The movie biz would ask "Who gets amnesia this time?" Because that would have to be the thing, if this was to be a sequel.
Bridget: I think, if it was a sequel... this could be good, now I'm really thinking. What if it was one of the sons, out of college, twenty years later, what if it's one of their girlfriends? No, what if it's one of the sons who gets amnesia? Falls off a boat, whatever. And then meets a girl in a similar situation. So it would be reversed roles. But the son is well-off, but has also lived in poverty. So, he'll know both sides. It's just a thought!
Joe: What, and then the son's parents would be like, "This seems like this has happened before... where have I seen this?"
Bridget: No, they'd be like, "[shushing sounds], just let this happen! Let's see how this shakes out!"
Joe: "This is the only way true love can happen!"
Bridget: Exactly. That would be interesting.
Pam: It could be a sequel like Godfather Part II, where we learn about how Kurt Russell moved to that town, and his life before, with his wife who died.
Bridget: It could be epic!
Joe: The Elk Cove Mob.
Bridget: Yeah! We could learn about the original Mrs. Proffitt. But... that all seems dumb. I don't want to hear about that.
Joe: Any Overboard 2 would probably be pretty dumb.
Bridget: I'm glad there's no sequel.
Joe: I dunno. I was thinking that maybe Dean was the one who got amnesia this time, but then he gets his memory back, and has a reckoning moment, like, "Man, this was really fucked up, what I did to you."
Bridget: That could be something too, I guess.
Joe: We'll use this as a transition to you talking about that aspect of this movie. Which, okay... I guess it was last summer, when I asked everyone what their favorite movie was, and you said Overboard, there's been a couple of times since then when you've warned me, ya know, "Maybe this doesn't hold up as well as it could."
Bridget: Yeah...
Joe: So I went into the movie thinking about that.
Bridget: Being stressed about it?
Joe: Not stressed. I guess I was surprised about how well it did hold up? It held up better than you warned me it wouldn't.
Bridget: I dunno, I feel like the principle of it is, ya know, guy takes advantage of a woman. But I do feel like, rewatching it now, knowing I was coming to talk to you—he was respectful, they didn't share a bed until they truly fell in love. Granted... she slept on the couch. But I felt like some of the... he always called her "sugar lips," ya know, sexually charged stuff, when he didn't really... that wasn't their relationship. The fact that it was a women he was taking advantage of.
Joe: I think there are a lot of ways you can watch this movie and see it as sexist, or worse... if you want to. I guess the question would become, why would you want to? Or why would you feel like you had to watch it in that way?
Bridget: I feel like there's maybe two or three jokes that I'm like, ehh, I don't think you can make that joke these days. But otherwise, everything else is like, "Eh, that's fine."
Joe: If we're going into the mode of "Let's critique this from a moral perspective," I guess... there's a heavy dose of gaslighting. Are we familiar with that term?
Pam: I always forget what it means. You can explain it.
Joe: Basically, if you are constantly told that something that is true is not true, then that causes psychological damage to you, the person being lied to. So, like, if you felt that I was not taking care of Martha as well I should be, as a dad, and you had evidence to back that up, if I just completely refused to acknowledge your point at all, and said, "You're crazy for even saying that, what is wrong with you?" then that's gaslighting.
Bridget: So they do do a lot of that in the movie. [laughter] With the whole, "Oh, you don't remember that?"
Joe: She knew that's not where she was supposed to be, but was told, "No—you're the crazy one." Which... ya know, people could be sensitive about these days. She's basically their slave.
Bridget: I realized this today, I dunno if I hadn't paid close enough attention before—when her mom calls Grant on the phone, she's like, "It's been two months since I've heard from her." In my head, this movie took place over like two weeks. Ya know what I mean? Two months is a really long time for them to get to know each other and for her to get accustomed to this lifestyle. So it makes more sense when she gets back to the boat, when she's ripping tequila shots, and asks for a beer that she opens on the table. That makes more sense to me as an adult now, if I was somewhere for two months, I would definitely get accustomed to that way of life.
Joe: It's Stockholm Syndrome.
Bridget: Fair. She was treated slightly better than a prisoner.
Pam: She didn't know that she was a prisoner.
Joe: Which might be worse? But okay, so all that being said... this is a silly movie. I know your answer to this, but, is it even worth considering this movie in that way?
Bridget: In the gaslighting way?
Joe: In the... okay, this is probably something that I've struggled with, and something that my very small handful of readers have struggled with hearing me talk about in these interviews... where do you draw the line between "This is a movie that's meant to be enjoyed, and it's easy to overlook these misunderstandings of human nature" and "This is a movie that's irresponsible in its portrayal of human nature"?
Bridget: I think it's definitely a movie that's just meant to be enjoyed.
Joe: Absolutely, I agree.
Bridget: Looking back, you might be a little like, "Okay, this is a little hairy, watching this movie that was made in the '80s." Any movie that was made in the '80s, with some of those typical jokes. But overall, this movie was not made maliciously, and it's still not malicious.
Joe: Where is that line drawn? Because there could exist a movie that has the same basic plot, but that's not handled as well, and you could look at it hypothetical movie and say, "This is supposed to be a funny movie about a slave woman?"
Bridget: The line is drawn when he starts to appreciate her, and actually fall in love with her. That they actually develop a real relationship. When he was still making her do this stuff, and then he comes home and he's going to tell her the truth, tell her who she really is, and he's like, "No, I don't want this to end, I want her to stay here and be my wife," that's when he tells her, "Oh, it's your birthday, we're going to go out and celebrate." He's like, "I love her, I've grown to appreciate her, and I want her to stay.
Joe: So it's the ends justify the means for this. Had this situation kept going as it was originally, and she was just fucking miserable—
Bridget: Then it wouldn't be a good movie.
Pam: It would be a really short movie, too.
Bridget: I agree.
Joe: Do you feel like the fact that you had to warn me that it had "sexist problems," was that a defense mechanism because you felt like I was going to have a problem with that?
Bridget: Yes. I said that to you in a way that was like, I've watched this movie since I was very young, and always enjoyed, but I feel like the past couple times I've watched this, with the cultural shift happening, I've been like, "Oh, maybe I shouldn't like this movie as much?" Because I really do enjoy it! So I feel like it could've been defensive, what I was saying. But also, maybe... well, hopefully something like this doesn't happen to me? [laughter] That I'm taken advantage of. It would be great if I fell in love with somebody because of it, but moral of the story would that I fell in love with someone who was taking advantage of me!
Joe: Are you familiar with the famous General Hospital storyline?
Bridget: My mom... I grew up low-key watching General Hospital because of her, and she still does watch General Hospital.
Bridget: Luke and Laura were still on the show when I started watching it with my mom. I couldn't tell you anything more about it.
Pam: Is that still on?
Joe: It's been on for decades.
Bridget: Soaps are still on!
Joe: So basically, Laura and Luke were young people—
Bridget: "Young lovers."
Joe: —on this soap opera, and Luke raped Laura—
Bridget: [gasps] I didn't know that. Clearly Claire Bear was not telling me these things as a child. [laughter]
Joe: Yup, so the general controversy is that that gradually developed into a romance. Which developed and culminated into the most famous wedding in soap opera history.
Bridget: Did she have amnesia? [laughter]
Joe: No. I mean, she may have had amnesia at some point during her 30-year stint on General Hospital... but I guess with that... the ends justify the means...? And I'm speaking from the perspective of General Hospital and its audience here, obviously... Maybe they wouldn't have been as connected if he didn't rape her.
Pam: I feel like the only people that mattered to was them two.
Bridget: If she is able to forgive him for that, and fall in love with him.
Pam: Right, it really only matters that Joanna and Dean are happy with each other.
Bridget: Happy and okay with the way that it transpired.
Joe: Look, I'm defending Overboard, but I'd feel uncomfortable making a statement like that.
Pam: Because it's a movie?
Joe: Because it's not just between Dean and Annie, it's between Dean and Annie and the audience watching it.
Bridget: It's not real people. Same thing with General Hospital. That's fair.
Joe: And, ya know, thirty million people tuned in to watch Luke and Laura get married, despite the fact that they got together because of a rape.
Pam: How long was it in between?
Joe: I wouldn't be able to provide you details about General Hospital. I really only know any of this because the song that played during the rape was replayed so much, because they kept flashing back to the rape so much, that the song became the number one song on the billboard charts.
Pam: So it was a very well-known fact to anyone watching the show, that the rape happened.
Bridget: Wow.
Pam: What song was it?
Joe: A song called "Rise" but the jazz musician Herb Alpert. You might not recognize the song itself, but you'd recognize parts of it, because it was extensively sampled by the number one song "Hypnotize" by the Notorious B.I.G. That part that goes [makes guitar noise].
Bridget: Maybe Biggie was a big General Hospital fan!
Joe: ...Maybe! [laughter] Yes—"How did Notorious B.I.G. feel about Overboard?"
Bridget: "Welcome to my TED Talk." [laughter]
Joe: Backing up a little bit. I definitely feel like that's something I am grappling with a little bit, as I try to understand movies more critically than I would've before last summer. If I'm taking movies seriously, is there a way to take them too seriously? I feel like there's definitely a way to take Overboard too seriously.
Bridget: Yeah, and I feel like it's one of those movies that is not a serious movie.
Pam: Taking it seriously at all is taking it too seriously. [laughter]
Joe: And look, there are probably people out there who watch this movie and see—
Bridget: There are people who wrote their Ph.D. on this movie.
Pam: Are you saying that someone did?
Bridget: I'm sure that someone did! I'll look into it...
Joe: So what would've had to change in this movie to make it cross that line?
Bridget: If they didn't fall in love, then it would've been bad.
Joe: Fair. What if they had had sex before they actually fell in love?
Bridget: Yeah, there was that first night when he comes home, and he pours a drink on himself, and he's like, "I wanted to make her think that I'm really drunk," and he says, what was it? "Let's boom boom." [laughter] And she's like, "No boom boom tonight." I feel like if they did have sex at that point, that would skeezy, a little gross. But the fact that they didn't, I think that's good.
Pam: That was a good choice for '80s cinema.
Joe: I'm glad that Overboard was the silly movie that it was, because I didn't want to have that discussion—
Bridget: Me neither.
Pam: Me neither! [laughter]
Joe: No, I just... I don't like the idea of—and I've done in the past—of presenting the ethical dilemma in the movie, and saying something like, "Do you agree with this? And how does this affect your love for the movie?" That's not fair. I will really only defend myself in that regard for Wolf of Wall Street.
Pam: That's a different story.
Joe: I bring that one up so much, because the movie tries to defend Jordan Belfast's actions, whereas Overboard really doesn't do that.
Bridget: Right, they're not defending Grant. They're not defending his actions. Every time they pan to him, it's like, "Look at this fucking troll." No, I agree though. They're not defending them.
Joe: I think the fact that this is definitively fiction might help too?
Bridget: It's not based on a true story, it's not factual in any way. Amnesia is not something that happens. Especially from falling off a boat... I feel like that is the plot point we need to discuss. [laughter] She lost her memory from falling off a boat! And she's in the water yelling, "Grant!" so it's not like she smacks her head on the water and gets a concussion or something. She is alive and well when she hits the water!
Pam: Don't they say, "Maybe it was the cold water?"
Bridget: Maybe that's a plot hole.
Pam: Movie magic.
Joe: It's movie magic! I don't know if we can call it a plot hole. It's just something so ridiculous that we have no choice but to accept it as is. I know we're saying that this is a movie that is not supposed to have an overarching "point," it's just a fun little story. But if you were to say that there was a lesson to be found here, in Overboard, what would that lesson be?
Bridget: Maybe giving people a second chance. She met Dean, and was like, "This guy is such a clown, he made my closet out of oak instead of cedar. He has no idea what he's talking about." And then she learns to love and accept him for the person that he is, who's just trying to do the best for himself and his family, and she was able to fall in love with him.
Joe: Even the cruelest rich person can have some humanity in them.
Bridget: I feel like that's a good lesson.
Joe: Is there anything to say about the fact that Dean and Joanna were both kind of villains, in their own way? And they brought out the best in each other?
Bridget: They were both villainous, but in different ways. She was a mean-spirited person. She was privileged. "Andrew, my ring fell off somewhere between six avenues in New York City, go find it." Because that's all she ever knew. And he was malicious in that he saw that he could take advantage of someone who had no defense. But then they grew together as people. He was like, "I shouldn't have done this, I feel bad for doing it, I really need to tell her." He got close to doing it several times. But I dunno, she got to live a normal life of someone who didn't have any of that privilege. "Oh, normal life isn't that bad. I can do this. I know how to cook, and clean, all these things that people have been doing for me my whole life." You're right in the fact that they were both villains, but by the end, they both became more reasonable as people.
Joe: Absolutely. It might even boil down to the fact that humans giving a shit about each other brings out the best in them. Human connections foster good feelings.
Pam: They were better together.
Joe: Definitely. Even the kids, they were little shits, but then—
Pam: I thought I was going to hate the kids, when she came home to them. But they were great.
Joe: All they needed was for someone to give a shit about them!
Pam: I thought that was going to be part of the plot, that they were going to be jerks to her too. But they weren't. They were great!
Joe: They were misunderstood.
Bridget: I love the scene where he's like, "Guys, I'm going to tell her," and they're like, "No! We love her firm rearing, we need someone like that!" And then the scene when Grant picks her up in the limo, and the kids are running after it. Little Joe is "You said moms never leave!" and I'm like, "Oh no! That's so sweet..." I've always really liked the kids. "We have three dollars and four cents. We're gonna rent a boat and find Mom!" The fact that they always called her "Mom" was really cute.
Joe: Yeah, they were gaslighting her too. [laughter]
Pam: But in a good way.
Bridget: Oh, except—there's one more thing that was said, an uncomfortable thing that was said in a really pervy way. When it was the morning after her "birthday," and they open up the door to a new washing machine, and the oldest son, the one who's been reading Playboy the whole movie, is like, "She has a nice ass, I wonder what her tits are like?" as the door closes. I'm like... nah. That's the only thing that I said, "Ohhhhh, gross..." That should've just never been in the movie. [laughter]
Pam: They could've easily erased it.
Bridget: Exactly. That was the only line.
Joe: Gary Marshall was just so sick of the goody two shoes Richie Cunningham type that he was like "I need some incest jokes in this!"
Bridget: That was the only part that I felt like I should just hit the mute button for.
Joe: What do you feel that this movie, being your favorite movie, says about you, Bridget D***, as a person?
Bridget: I feel like this is a good representation of my belief in true love, how I believe there is a person for everyone. And I just enjoy the little comedies in life... but also hope that I never get amnesia. [laughter]
Joe: I definitely saw the comedy in this movie as a reflection of your optimism. I don't think I've ever seen you mad or upset or anything. In Overboard, when they are presenting these uncomfortable or borderline sexist whatever, there's always a lightheartedness to it, a humor to it. And I feel like that's reflected in you as a person.
Bridget: That makes sense. I do try to find positive spins, even if it's a bad situation. I try to exude that positivity. I hate when people are just like... really mean. [laughter]
Joe: It's pretty easy to picture you talking about something horrific and laughing through your telling of it.
Bridget: That is very much my personality. No one in this movie gets really really mad, but when I do get mad, I'm like, guns blazing. I was yelling at a resident this morning, the attending had to circle back with me. And then me and the attending are hugging, so if that says anything about me... [laughter] So yeah, with Overboard, it's just lighthearted story, just a cutesy story, with a little bit of humor, a little bit of love, I feel like that's very telling of who I am.
Pam: Or just that carefree '80s flair.
Bridget: Just jazzy. I feel like I love all her outfits in this. Annie outfits and Joanna outfits. I love both ends of the spectrum of her style. Depending on your mood.
Pam: I don't want to see the remake for this reason.
Bridget: Too many T-shirts.
Pam: I love the '80s of it all.
Joe: I know that when someone says something is their favorite movie, that might not be because it's the best representation of the person who says it. But do you feel like this movie is the best representation of you as a person? Or is there another movie that would be more accurate?
Bridget: I feel like this is the most accurate, in that I've seen it a million times, and can quote it a million times, and have watched it with so many people.
Joe: But that sounds more like a "favorite movie." Which is what the overall point of the project, yes, but—
Bridget: I grappled with three different movies to do for this. Overboard, White Christmas, and Miracle, the hockey movie.
Pam: Also Kurt Russell.
Bridget: It's a kink at this point. [laughter]
Joe: Thank you for not choosing Miracle, but then it would've turned into a whole trump thing.
Bridget: When that came out, I was genuinely upset by it.
Joe: We don't have to go into it.
Bridget:White Christmas is another feel-good story, where it doesn't have much of a plot, whereas at least Overboard at least had a plot, a theme, a conclusion, so this made the most sense. I feel like, out of all three of those, this is the one I can watch the most. I watched it two weeks ago, and I watched it again today, with no problem.
Joe: But I guess what I'm asking is, when someone is told "That's what Bridget's favorite movie is," is Overboard the answer that makes the most sense?
Bridget: I feel like no one would be surprised by it. If someone hadn't seen it, and I told them to watch it, they'd be like, "That makes sense."
Pam: I wouldn't have been surprised if it was your or Maeve's favorite.
Joe: Yeah, what's better, Overboard or Princess Bride?
Bridget: They're just so different.
Joe: You're supposed to say Overboard!
Bridget: But they're just both so good. I... I would probably say Overboard...
Joe: Probably?! We just talked about it for an hour and a half!
Bridget: But Princess Bride is just such a classic movie. I've seen Overboard way more times. Way more times. No, I would pick Overboard.
Joe: I would hope! Jesus!
Bridget: If it's like, "What do you want to watch, Princess Bride or Overboard?" I would pick Overboard. It's such a classic. So easy to watch.
Pam: I would probably pick Overboard too.
Bridget:Princess Bride is a lot heavier.
Pam:Overboard is easier to watch. It's funny and light.
Bridget: Goldie Hawn—babe! Kurt Russell—hunk! Total babes.
Like I did this past Thursday, I just want to talk about the beer that I'm drinking, and not about anything else. Pam is working tonight, so I'm good to focus on this beer, and just relax and type while I'm sipping it.
JK LOL Martha is being a little shit and has been crying for the past hour. Maybe she will let me drink this fucking beer eventually.
Okay, okay, she's still making noises, but they aren't wails. I think I can do this.
It's pouring really light yellow, like the color of pineapple juice. The foam was about one and a half fingers high, and settled, leaving little lacing except a ring around the circumference of the wine glass I'm drinking it out of. I drank it at 47.5 degrees, which is probably slightly higher than it should be, but Martha really fucked up how long I had it out of the fridge, so, WHOOPS.
Let's talk about the good first. I really appreciate the names of these Stickman Brews beers. They are funny in an effortless way, and in a way that occasionally pokes fun at the naming of beers in general. Some other Stickman beers: Drink Me!, Porn for Monks, Young People Fun Party, etc. These are the types of names I would give my own beer, if I were a brewer (and they would be the types of names that would make me crack up while Pam looks at me quizzically, not understanding my weird sense of humor). Compare this to Evil Genius, which tries way too hard to be funny, and no one is laughing.
Stickman Brews is right over there in Royersford, PA. It looks like it's kind of near Pottstown. Per Google Maps, it's only 41 minutes away (no traffic because everyone is at home, to be fair). Good things found on their website: the food there looks insanely good (for real, check out their Insta); they are located behind a Dollar General (as all breweries should be); they make a point to say that they strive to lack pretentiousness. Bad things found on their website: the brewers have a podcast.
Okay but yo HOW DOES IT TASTE?! First, smelling it, you can get strong aromas of pineapple and other tropical flavors. Next, the first sip, and it's more of the same. Pineapple, lemon, etc. But then... holy shit, the taste shifts violently, and not in a good way. The aftertaste is awful. Like, it shocked me how bad it was.
My first thought is that the aftertaste literally tastes like plain chicken nuggets... but that can't be right. That would be fucking insane, for a beer to taste like goddamn chicken. That's just not feasible. That has to be my mind playing tricks on me, reading the label with my eyes and then mixing up the brain signals to taste what I'm reading. (Also, confirmed on Instagram).
My second thought was more probably true—this beer went bad, or was brewed bad, or something happened between canning and my drinking to make it taste like this. I'm looking through my old list of bad flavors, and nothing really stands out as being the off-flavor here. I don't know what happened, but I know this isn't right. Something happened.
I dunno, man. This is a bummer. I waited all day, plus an extra 90 minutes because my daughter is being an asshole, and this isn't even a good beer.
Still, I appreciate what Stickman Brews is trying to do with their line of beers (creative in a completely non-obnoxious way), and I hope that I can make it to Royersford when all this coronavirus bullshit is over, and drink some Plain Chicken Nugget straight from the source. Maybe it'll be better then.
At the end of the day, though, I think I'm ready for a break from these goddamn pale ales that have all these tropical flavors. I'm just tired of them. I just want to drink a beer that tastes like beer. Consider that my April goal. More lagers. Fuck IPAs.
(Postscript: I still drank all sixteen ounces, obviously. It was that kind of day.)
NOTES
BEER: Plain Chicken Nuggets
GENRE: American Pale Ale ABV: 5.5%
BREWED BY: Stickman Brews LOCATION: Royersford, PA
PURCHASED AT: IGA I think? Don't quote me on that, it's been a long couple weeks
PAIRED WITH: Crying babies—yes, "babies" plural, as Martha's crying woke Willow up, and now they are both crying, FUCK GODDAMN IT
