Top Five Tuesday: Silver Linings

I'm actively trying to stay away from creating too much COVID-related content for this blog. I know I've dipped into those waters a few times in the This Is My Blood column, but that's basically been it so far. My reasoning is that you already get enough information about the virus pumped into your brain every hour of every day, it's all anyone can think about or talk about (well, that and Tiger King, I guess?!). You don't need any more of that from your friendly local bullshit blog. It's not worth the risk of dropping the pall any further over any small semblance of optimism we can find these days.

Still, I think it's worth trying to find some silver linings in all this, and writing about them. Life is strange and deadly, but there is some good to be found buried under all the chaos. So for today's Top Five Tuesday, I'm going to list the five most important ways life has moderately improved for me personally. I'm not writing any of this in an attempt to minimize the destruction that is happening around the globe right now—people are dying, and that's fucking important and scary and tough to comprehend—and I'm not writing any of this to rub it in anyone's faces that I haven't been hit as hard as others.

I'm simply writing this because right about now, I need to count my blessings. It's important for my mental health. I need to find those silver linings in the dark clouds that gather, or else I'm going to go fucking insane. And the only way I can process those silver linings is by writing about them.

If life has you down too, and you don't want to read about any fucking self-serving optimism, then I implore you to skip the rest of this blog post, and reach out to me. Text, call, Facebook DM, or comment below this blog post if you need help. I got you, fam. Seriously, do it. Hit me up. Let's do this together, even if we have to do this apart.

Top Five Silver Linings

5. We've been pretty motivated to eat good. When I say "good," I do not mean "healthy," for better or worse. I'm saying that we've been ordering out a lot from all our favorite spots in the neighborhood (more on that below), and have otherwise been cooking and baking and getting really into new recipes—got nothing but time at home, so why not try some new food?

4. I am making more money at work, while actually working less. This is the one I feel most guilty about, and I will definitely be trying to even this out by donating a little bit to charity. But as far as my employment goes, it's pretty secure (if I find myself out of work, that means the city has completely collapsed, and so there would be bigger concerns than my own personal paycheck), and though I'm considered "essential," I'm only working about twice a week. But I'm still getting paid for all five days. On top of that, the days that I have been told to come to work were at overtime rates, which is insane. As I'm writing this, I'm getting an email from the higher ups saying that too many people took advantage of this hazard pay, and so they are cutting the OT for everyone starting this week. I'm not complaining. Keep that dirty extra money, as long as I'm paid what I'm owed.

3. I feel more connected with my community. This probably counts as irony, that I feel this way while simultaneously being legally barred from interacting with my neighbors. But I feel it with the businesses—we're ordering out food more because we want to support our local businesses, and you can tell that those who own the businesses are sincerely appreciative. I feel it during those rare interactions at distances of six feet or more—everyone is polite at the supermarket and the pharmacy, and you can tell everyone is doing their best to stay upbeat. I can feel it in the small off-beat activities that Philly is getting into—Pam and the girls are part of a Facebook group that encourages all of Philly to draw or paint something specific and hang it in their doorways. Last week, Pam and Willow fingerpainted the eight planets, and they hung on our screen door. There's a sense of community, even stuck isolated from said community.

2. I have more time to connect with the kids than I would normally. Since I'm only at work two days a week, I'm at home for five days a week, and we've been having some fun. Some frustration too, obviously, but c'mon, who wouldn't jump at the opportunity to hang with a two-year-old all day instead of going to their damn job? Last week, me and Willow and Martha were all playing with a balloon, and both of the kids were cracking up. It was the first time I made Martha laugh, and it was the first time I really felt connected to her as a human being (as opposed to as her frazzled caretaker). Probably wouldn't have happened if I was at work.

1. This all makes the idea of finding "what you can do for your country" insanely simple. The question of how we can best benefit our country as individuals is a question that has fractured and divided us for my entire lifetime, but the coronavirus crisis brings the current answer into sharp focus. It couldn't be easier—stay the fuck at home, and save lives. Wash your hands, and save lives. Sacrifice your social life and possibly your wallet, and save lives. Ignore the idiots crowding the parks and spreading the disease, ignore the buffoons in the White House and their lack of leadership, ignore those who are giving the call to get back to work in a craven and deadly attempt to help the stock market. Fuck it all. There's one thing to do now, one thing that will stop millions from dying in the biggest catastrophe in American history—STAY THE FUCK AT HOME. I'm not saying it's easy to do, but it's easy to understand, and that's what makes it the best silver lining of all.