I liked doing it, despite its somewhat tediousness, because I thought it was interesting really digging into the nuances of otherwise forgotten tracks, and examining in a myriad of ways what exactly makes a particular song "good" or "bad," especially in the context of comparisons to other songs. Admittedly, this is perhaps only something I was interested in; I can't imagine the blog click counter was racking up the hits last year. All good, I'm doing this for me. Let's dig in.
Since I am decidedly less bored than I was this time last March (writing fourteen blog posts a week is a lot, who knew?), the bracket only contains 32 songs instead of 64 (sorry to all your March Madness Shuffle purists out there!). As was the case last year, the criteria for which song is the "winner" of each matchup will be decided as I go along, and will certainly be arbitrary.
ROUND ONE
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"Ballad of Big Nothing" by Elliott Smith VS. "Down Along the Cove" by Bob Dylan
There aren't many artists who can stand tall in the shadow of the legendary Bob Dylan, not even Elliott Smith. Dylan's power comes from his six decades of creating music. Smith's power comes from the fact that he released a few great albums and then perished. Both are important as artists, but the songs? "Down Along the Cove" is a fun little romp (probably the best on John Wesley Harding besides its title track), but in the general context of how these two artists exist in the canon, it just seems like everything Smith does is fucking important. It has stakes. So it wins.
WINNER: "Ballad of Big Nothing"
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"Township Rebellion" by Rage Against the Machine VS. "East St. Louis Toodle-Oo" by Steely Dan
This is an absolutely hilarious matchup. One song loudly proclaims "FUCK THE NORM!" while the other is quietly covering Duke Ellington with a mute-trombone. Sometimes you want the underdog to prevail. Sometimes you know there's no chance.
WINNER: "Township Rebellion"
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"Clairaudients (Kill or Be Killed)" by Bright Eyes VS. "Space Needle" by Operators
It's impossible to hear the opening number of any Bright Eyes album and not also hear Pam making fun of it. I don't care if it's "pretentious," man, I fucking love it. That the disembodied female voice continues to cut in during the rest of the song is a little annoying, sure, but this is the opening salvo to one of the great albums of the '00s. I can't not get excited. And while I'm a fan of mostly everything Dan Boeckner does, "Space Needle" is a lesser track from Operators. It's nice, but they've done way better.
WINNER: "Clairaudients (Kill or Be Killed)"
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"Mahgeetah" by My Morning Jacket VS. "Need a Woman" by Bob Dylan
Is My Morning Jacket a jam band? "Mahgeetah" would argue that it is. I've been listening to music seriously for fifteen years now and I still am undecided as to whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. But that's not the question we're trying to answer today. Instead, we are asking whether "Mahgeetah" is better than a very solid Bob Dylan B-side from his gospel period. The answer? Just barely.
WINNER: "Mahgeetah"
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"Sick and Tired" by Peter Bjorn and John VS. "Why Do I Keep Counting?" by the Killers
I'm tickled by the fact that PB&J are still around, all these years after "Young Folks," and I admire the fact that they spent the last fourteen years really leaning into their weird and dark side. "Sick and Tired" is a great showcase for anyone interested in how this band operates today. I quite like it, but unfortunately, they're up against one of the titans of modern rock, Brandon Flowers. I already talked about how he can take the goofiest songs and make them seem epic. "Why Do I Keep Counting?" is no different. It's not even close to being one of the best songs on Sam's Town, but it still kicks enough ass to be the winner here.
WINNER: "Why Do I Keep Counting?"
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"Honey Bunny" by Girls VS. "Pirate Dial" by M. Ward
If you want to hear how fun a song is, listen to the drums. Not that that's even necessary when it comes to sleepy M. Ward.
WINNER: "Honey Bunny"
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"A Baby for Pree" by Neutral Milk Hotel VS. "Comeback Baby" by Kiwi jr.
The Battle of the Babies!!!!! "A Baby for Pree," like most of On Avery Island, is rife with vivid, twisted, nonsensical poetry, and not much else. "Comeback Baby" is a very new edition to my iPod. Kiwi jr. has made me a fan, and I'm totally cool with them knocking off an institution like that.
WINNER: "Comeback Baby"
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"Mutinies" by Kurt Vile VS. "Black Rain, Black Rain" by A.A. Bondy
I'll defend Kurt Vile with my final breath, but even I can admit that he can get a little long-winded and meandering sometimes. I'd tell him to "keep the songs tight" or some shit like that, but I'd be afraid that he'd take the advice and lose what makes him so special. You take the "Mutinities" with the "One Trick Ponies," I suppose. "Black Rain, Black Rain" is even more sparse and folksy, but it's more compact too.
WINNER: "Black Rain, Black Rain"
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"A Lingering Love" by Fruit Bats VS. "BALL GAG KI$$" by angelic milk
Every year, I follow the NCAA tournament, at least if my La Salle Friends bracket is still doing well, and every year I hope that something exciting and unexpected will happen. It never does. If you think that a song called "BALL GAG KI$$" has a legitimate chance at an upset, then I'm sorry to tell you that everything is boring—sports, music, blogs, all of it. (Definitely check out angelic milk though, they're rad.)
WINNER: "A Lingering Love"
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"Big Lie" by Joyce Manor VS. "Knock Knock" by the Hives
Grade school Joe had the Hives included as a band written on his pencil case, which was a total fucking poseur move, because I only knew the one song ("Hate to Say I Told You So," duh). But I only really started swimming in emo-infested waters over the past couple years, so my love for Joyce Manor is even newer than my love for the Hives, and probably stronger as a result (recency bias). But man... "Knock Knock" is so goddamn frantic and joyous, I cannot deny its superiority. Joyce Manor could've done better with a better selection (of which there are many in their discography).
WINNER: "Knock Knock"
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"Saturday Nite" by Blitzen Trapper VS. "Temporary Tattoo" by Remember Sports
Here's where the caveat of "there is no set way to determine the winner" is flashed in big bold letters. Use the logic of the previous matchup (the more energetic song gets the nod), and Remember Sports are the clear winner. I dunno though, Blitzen Trapper's groove is hitting me right in the goddamn spot right now. Fuck it.
WINNER: "Saturday Nite"
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"Long Vows" by Band of Horses VS. "Sweet Talk, Sweet Talk" by the New Pornographers
This is one of the most boring Band of Horses songs (there aren't many, but them's the breaks), and it's going up against a more-than-decent New Pornos deep cut. Every song that features the same word or phrase twice in the title must win this round, apparently.
WINNER: "Sweet Talk, Sweet Talk"
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"Last Goodbye" by Split Single VS. "Hannah Hunt" by Vampire Weekend
I've always been flummoxed over the love that "Hannah Hunt" gets. It's one small piece of an amazing album, but it makes zero sense to me that this is the piece that gets so much attention. It's... fine? A little slow and boring? You're saying that this is the best song on Modern Vampires? What?! Anyways, all that to say that there's no way it's advancing past this round, even up against a slightly forgettable (I always forget about Split Single) power pop ballad.
WINNER: "Last Goodbye"
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I showed Willow some live Hop Along performances the other day, because she likes messing with Pam's guitar, and so I want her to see some female rockers and soak in the inspiration. There aren't many women in the indie rock scene better than Frances Quinlan. Still, as her old project Hop Along, Queen Ansleis (and also her newest solo album) prove, she really soars when she's rocking out. The slower stuff lacks a little bit of that energy that makes her so special typically. Lucky for Against Me! then, that one of their more sluggish cuts was matched up against "Failure."
WINNER: "Animal"
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"Combat Rock" by Sleater-Kinney VS. "Most Wanted" by Cults
Sleater-Kinney is very hit or miss for me (I know! Slander!), but "Combat Rock" is fun enough I suppose. The busy drums add an extra element. This Cults song is a little shrill. So we have a band that I don't normally like with a better-than-their-average song, and a band that I usually like a lot, but with a worse-than-their-average song. Bummer.
WINNER: "Combat Rock"
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"Into the Earth" by Bloc Party VS. "The Wild Kindness" by Silver Jews
Wow, I thought Hymns was a shitty Bloc Party album besides "The Love Within," but here comes "Into the Earth," convincing me that maybe I should give that album another shot (though I know I'm going to listen to it and hate it again, except for two songs this time). Could I have been so wrong about Bloc Party? I don't know. I do know that I was wrong about Silver Jews already, and I've already apologized for that (the apology came before David Berman's suicide, which adds another layer to my complicated opinion of his projects). Still, apologies aside, I can't help but push Bloc Party into the next round. The song is just too surprisingly good.
WINNER: "Into the Earth"
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ROUND ONE RESULTS
ROUND ONE RESULTS
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See you next week, probably(?), for the Sweet Sixteen.
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