A cornerstone of earning a degree through the La Salle Honors Program was completing your "honors project." It was an open-ended assignment, designed to have the student think creatively, to achieve something tangible of their own making. I guess a lot of it boiled down to writing a long paper? About something that you wanted to research, a subject that you chose completely on your own? I dunno, here are some examples from previous years (but the list doesn't stretch back far enough that I would know any of these people).
Obviously, I did the bare minimum, which was my m.o. during my collegial academic career. Who the fuck wants to write 50 pages on any subject, even one that I chose? (I suppose it qualifies as irony that I've written about 100,000 words on PoYB this year already.) That didn't sound easy enough to me. So here's what I did.
I said I was going to write a "drum performance." Not that I was even that competent of a drummer, but I definitely had the ability to throw some notes on a staff and make it seem halfway competent. The thing to remember is that the professor who was going to be grading these projects would absolutely know if an essay wasn't up to snuff, but she would have no fucking clue whether a percussion piece was "good" or "bad" or whatever. She would just have to take my word for it.
I was rightly called out for this shortcut, and told that I had to at least write a ten- to twenty-page essay as well. I wrote ten pages on "the history of drumming" or some bullshit like that. It was cobbled together from Wikipedia sources. I did it in one night (this is supposed to be a semester-long project, mind you).
I needed an "advisor" as well. I first asked Jamison, a wack-a-doo music teacher, but when I asked him, he responded as if he was currently tripping on mushrooms. So instead, I asked Falcone, who I had had as a psych professor a few times, but who also was known local musician. Also, in the classes I had under his tutelage in the past, he didn't give tests or essay assignments, instead grading the students on daily reflections. So I figured he would give just as few shits as I did about some fucking scrub's honors project. I was correct. He signed off on whatever I gave him.
I also didn't pay for anything. The only equipment I needed, really, was music notation computer software, and I wrote that off as a Jazz Band expense (if you think that was corrupt, you should see how high the pizza party receipts stacked up). I used Finale, in which you had the ability to add shortcuts to your keyboard, so the actual creation of the "musical piece" was simple. Still tedious, sure—it took me an entire night at the end of the semester to make the whole thing. But still... just one all-nighter. Again, this was an all-semester project.
My final shortcut I took was that I copied a lot of my favorite drum parts from songs that I was familiar with at that point. I'm not saying that the entire song was a Frankenstein of already existing drum fills or anything like that. I did a lot of the creative work here. But there were also some measures directly copied from other songs.
This was plagiarism, technically. WHOOPS. But it wasn't like some old lady professor was going to listen to a hastily compiled drum piece and recognize a John Bonham riff, ya know? It was foolproof plagiarism. The lazy student's dream!
Here are the top five parts that I stole. There were more, but all five of these were used in the my final Honors Project. The list also functions as a list of my top five drumming moments ever in music, since I wouldn't've stolen them if I wasn't in love.
P.S. I received a B for this project, which, considering all the bullshit that I just explained, feels almost like it was more than I deserved.
Top Five Drum Moments
5. "Wonderwall" by Oasis, 0:45
This is simple, but I love how the drums seem to come in a little early, almost like the swelling string part spooked 'em.
4. "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac, 2:31
Instead of coming early, Mick Fleetwood stays late, extending the drum fill into the next measure.
3. "Where Is My Mind?" by Pixies, 2:06
I kind of hate this song (maybe it's the Fight Club connection), but even I can't deny that this drum fill is tasty as fuck.
2. "D'yer Mak'er" by Led Zeppelin, 2:53
There's a lot of great drum shit happening around the edges of this one, but the one fill is an all-timer. What, you thought there was going to be a musical Top Five without Led Zeppelin?
1. "Son Et Lumiere" by the Mars Volta, 1:14
This is less a riff and more of a syncopated rhythm performed by the drummer and also other members of the band. But it would get stuck in my head enough in the Spring of 2011 for it to be stolen wholesale and earn me that fucking passing grade (Bs get degrees).
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