Grannies Gone Wild #69

Joe has watched "Grannies Gone Wild" 62 times so far this summer. Watch the episode HERE.

Doing a "ha ha it's the 69th Grannies Gone Wild" joke would've been too easy, or maybe too complicated, I can't decide which. What, am I going to talk about these fictional characters' sex lives? We know that Cheyenne and Van has sex at least once, because of the baby. We can assume that Barbara Jean gives Brock road head on the way to jury duty. We might even surmise that Brock and Reba have done it a few times post-divorce, based on their chumminess in the opening breakfast scene. Anything else just seems icky from a blogging standpoint. The idea of men like Van having sex makes me want to fucking puke. Maybe Brock too, but for different reasons; something about the leathery crocodile aura makes me uncomfortable.

Nah, let's do something different instead. So back in grade school, I played a lot of baseball (poorly, but I was on the team every spring and summer!). One year, our coach took us to the Phillies game. Instead of watching the ball as it moved from pitcher to batter to the field, as one typically watches a baseball game, we were instructed to pick out one specific player in the field, and watch his every movement. This was designed to teach us that sometimes reaction is more important than action. We'd get to see, for instance, the right fielder as he reacts to a hard hit ball in his direction. Seeing the reaction is instructive, and it occasionally tells you more about the overall game than just following the action might.

I thought it would be interesting to apply the same tenet to "Grannies Gone Wild." If I watched one single character throughout the entire episode, no matter where the actual action of the scene was taking place at that point in the scene, then would I learn anything? Is there yet more to uncover in these 20 minutes and 44 seconds?

The obvious choice here is the titular character, Reba. Not because she has the most screentime (I have to imagine she does, even though I don't have the wherewithal to track it), but more because she does the most reacting out of anyone in this episode. Nothing she does drives the narrative. It's Cheyenne's decisions and Van's petulance that rule the day, and Reba is just there to interact with both. She is not the pitcher or the batter, she is the left fielder, waiting for the ball, and suddenly putting herself into motion when the ball heads her way.

Here are my notes from today's watching experience, in which I attempt to note every motion that Reba makes throughout "Grannies Gone Wild," and sometimes why she makes that movement.

Opening kitchen scene:

• ignores van, staring at newspaper, smiles a little
• look of dismay and then a look that says "you moron"
• looks away with donuts line, then back around for jake
• suppresses a laugh with the jake thing, then let's it out when he runs
• looks back and forth between brock and door when asking about barbara jean
• looks at ex when they laugh at van's terrible impressions, twice
• puts a towel down when cheyenne comes in?
• move to express excitement: hands together, slap thighs, then fold arms
• lets excitement out with another slap and then slightly moving back while staying planted 
• "honey?" is a face drop, then she looks worried, and then looks at van to see "this face"
• Stands still in shock, then slowly turns around to follow Cheyenne
• Takes time to roll her eyes at Brock's dumb comments in between shocked faces
• Shocked "what?" but then also staring daggers at Van for doing the dumb "durh?" thing
• Looks away from Brock when he says "You don't think dentists help people?" as if she's heard this a thousand times before, but then looks back at Brock when he brings up the gingivitis video again
• Everyone looks toward the back door when Barbara Jean beeps the horn, but Reba is the last to do so, as if she is not to be easily distracted from this sinking feeling that she has
  
• Body movement indicates worry, looks at Brock when she is interrupted, but then looks back when she more or less agrees with the "what is going on in that pretty little head" comment
• Adjusts hair on the side of the screen when Cheyenne starts peanut-buttering the bread
• What does that have to do with life?: 1) looks up to replay the comment, 2) closes her eyes when she realizes that, yes, it does sound as ridiculous as she thought the first time
• "Put down the phone" gets another stifled reaction, this time with an elbow on the counter and a hand over the mouth
• "gotta do something about these old people" is a slight nod, as if to say "I don't know what to say"
• Looks back at Van when he says nature takes care of that
• "seems a little impulsive" is two hands, palms upturned, expressing confusion
• Van says "ten year" and Reba gets a look on her face that says WAIT A MINUTE, then turns around to confront
• "Sounds like you really mean it" is softer, looking down as if speaking humbly
• Stone-faced at baloney
• Cutting voice to tell him to calm down with "Oh Van!"
• Looks away when Van is right on top of her, but then gives a wild shocked face when he uses the word "knuckleheaded"
• Storming off, again stone-faced, then gets serious with Van behind closed doorsDrinking coffee (tea?) when she's talking to Van, puts it down for "see what she's up to" then picks it back up... when did it get here?

First senior center scene:

• Smiles at Joyce et al, then looks confused and bemused at Van's ceramics comment
• Hand on Van's chest to get him to shut up, serious about Cheyenne expecting us
• Cut to different angle and Reba is already looking at the doorway where Brock is entering, psychic again
• Looking at literature on table so that she can look up from it to deliver "glorified toothbrush" comment
• "One day?" and Reba looks back, maybe at Goldie? Unknown, but then she turns back and is involved in the heated argument
• "Ah" and then "come on guys..." still holding papers
• Eye contact with CWIX
• Hand chases him, plus laughter
• Again with laughter and light touch of shoulder
• Quiet, looking at CWIX to get his reaction, then looking slyly at Van to indicate he's a obtuse moron
• Gives a quick warning look at Van to shut the fuck up, then gives her pep talk with a fist for emphasis
• Speechless at F I L reveal, elbow in one hand, other hand over mouthVery concerned, lower teeth out farther than upper teeth, face away, shoulders crossed

Second senior center scene:

• Back to elbow/hand up at start of next scene
• Staring at nothing, lost in thought, but turns to CWIX for his explanation
• "Soggy bottom" elicits a head turn, then turn back while still point at ladies when she asked if they like this
• Gets scared at the "no dickie!" and turns around to see what is happening
• Watches Dickie return, and Cheyenne sneaks up and grabs her arm to get her attention
• Reba watches old ladies as she tries to respond to "What do you think?"
• Shocked at Van saying "it's stupid," then looks on as he digs a bigger whole
• Reaches for Cheyenne's right arm from behind with both of her hands to half hold her back and half comfort her
• Silent and still when Cheyenne moves away
• Turns to Brock like "how are we gonna handle this one?"

Living room scene (present day):

• Comes down steps looking around while saying "Cheyenne didn't come back yet?"
• Tilts head in a eye-roll-like manner at the "wet shawl contest" remark
• Points to door when talking about Cheyenne, as if she could walk in any moment (and she will)
• "Yes" gets a finger jab, then "But!" gets that finger flashing upward
• Fluffs a pillow while talking in anticipating of sitting, does so as Cheyenne walks in
• Cheyenne's "Hi Mom" gets an off-camera "Hey!" from Reba
• Stares silently at Van in response to his "Mother Teresa" line
• "What a loser" gets her looking away in frustration
• But she's tries to stop the fight by holding up to hands, palms out, and says "Come on guys"
• Does this thing where someone walks past her (this time Cheyenne) but she continues to stare at where that person previously was, as if lost in thought
• Only to be snapped out of it when she looks at someone incredulously (this time Van talking about the inspirational butt sayings")
• Looks back and forth during argument
• "Why did you have to pick something so..." gets interrupted, but it seems like Reba was going to have the right word for it anyway, as indicated by waving her backhand in a left-to-right motion
• "Oh..." is a look away, and then "But honey" snaps her back, as if she gets another thought and that spurns her head movement
• Adjusts her angling on the couch when Cheyenne joins her on it
• Lots of slight head nodding when she talks, maybe it just looks like that because of Reba's big hair
• Has legs crossed, and when she says "Well Van," she slaps and then rubs the thigh of the leg on top
• Looking away from Van as he crosses but still indicates that she is listening to him, then turns to him when he gets far enough that she can see him again
• Open mouth in anger(?) when her daughter is called "hot and ditzy"
• Looks away in frustration when Cheyenne plays right into his ditzy trap
• "Listen to me" gets a full hand pointing in their direction
• "You?" gets an icy look, as if she is daring Van to continue... he does
• "I thought you might say that" is Reba holding back whatever she REALLY wants to say
• Points to herself for "I am the person to learn this from
• Hand movements during "change/grow" speech, mostly upturned palms as if she is lifting her own words up so that they can better hear them
• "People grow" is two hands to the left; "marriage doesn't" has the right hand move to the right, one jab for each word
• "That's when you sprout" is hands moving even farther apart; "a Barbara Jean" is a swish of both hands to emphasize the punchline
• Cut back to the angle behind Reba shows her hand still in that position after she had already put them down, which can be chalked up to shabby editing
• "Right back atchya" is Reba saying "fuck this" and her three quick loving slaps on Cheyenne's wrist indicate that she's giving up on this charade and is going to head to bed
• Reba leaves, the camera follows her to the base of the steps, and then cuts away, and that's the last we see of her

My takeaway from this. The first is that it's gotta be tough as hell to do this must reacting to the action, but Reba McEntire has just enough acting skill, in my opinion, to pull it off pretty well. The second is that it really got me thinking about Reba Hart and her motivations, at least more so than I usually do (as I said, she's not really here to cause any of the action to take place in this episode). It was cool exploring her headspace. I do think that it opened up some layers to the episode that I hadn't considered previously. It also made me notice things I hadn't before (why is she holding literature during the "you'll be dead" bickering? where did that second cup of tea come from?)

 

My final thoughts weirdly turn toward the non-Reba scenes, mostly the twin courtroom scenes with Barbara Jean and Judge Stephen Tobolowsky and the rest of the gang. I wonder if having Reba there to react to BJ by making wide-eyed faces and rolling her eyes would be an addition or a subtraction to those scenes. Probably an addition, right? If only because it's so fucking creepy that none of the figurants react AT ALL to ANYTHING that is said in those scenes. Like, this crazy white lady is saying truly dumb shit, and no one has any reaction to it whatsoever? Let's get Reba Hart in there to shake up those extras.

Anyways... this was an okay experience. But it also took me like an hour to watch the episode, since I kept pausing to take notes. So, basically, I'm never going to do this again. Fuck "Grannies Gone Wild." I'm so tired of this. Maybe we should've just talked about sex. Do we think that Cheyenne has ever 69'd?