Sunny has watched "Grannies Gone Wild" 26 times so far this summer. Watch the episode HERE. You can also read every single "Grannies Gone Wild" entry in the archives HERE.
More Reba baby
22. I haven't watched Reba in a couple days. It's been lightening, but also haunting. You ever play a video game, like a 4x—think Civ, or maybe even Tetris—for too long, and later when you close your eyes you still see it playing? Blocks falling down and down and down... Reba's sort of like that. The fact JMK can nearly recreate the entire script from memory is a bit of testament, though he's watched the thing some 2-3x more than me. Reba kind of still plays even when it doesn't. You know how they say you're, in a way, the average of the five closest people in your life? Wouldn't it be odd if the collective cast of Reba was one?
Random goof and gag: at 1:51, Cheyenne fills her tea mug from the range kettle, yet we have no reason to believe the water is hot having seen Van make breakfast earlier.
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24. Sartorial recap! Let's check in with the fashion boys and girls down in our little corner of Houston:
- Reba: One button coral blouse over dark jeans. The simple, elegant look of a single mom who works too hard (yadda yadda). I would like a bit more contrast with her hair (see alt outfits from opening credits).
- Brock: Light blue shirt, dark pants, dark slightly patterned tie, no jacket. Clearly a dentist or bank teller or some other middle/upper-middle class professional. I actually imagine Brock's entire closet looks like shades of this, cartoon style.
- Cheyenne: Colored semi sheer blouse/dress over dark pants, with large gold chain as accent. Clearly Reba's daughter, and the most keyed in overall, a lovely outfit. She would be a fine candidate to do makeovers at local hospitals, orphanages, and nursing homes.
- BJ: Presumably part of her "courtroom outfit" including lucky bra (not seen). All black pant suit with black blouse. Might be the same as "funeral outfit," save the strings of beads.
- Florence, Ida, and Ladies: Titular aspect of the show. What's to say. See? Slimming.
- Nursing Home employee: I'm sure I've seen that same shirt at current-day thrift store, meaning he probably got it at Gibsons on clearance or something. Paired with khaki chinos, this screams "academy award having actor playing character who hates his job and or life."
- Van: I really hate this dude and his grey/grey sweater vest getup. His pants are also charcoal grey. And I think that's a thin grey tie? Or could just be the placket popping out, I dunno. I hate Van. He's an athlete right?
- Elder Jake: homie looks like Odlaw from Where's Waldo.
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25. Being well into July, it should be obvious this project is eating its own tail. Or as said on GGW#52: an echo chamber. Maybe I am tucker carlson. Let me ask some questions. You should see me in a bowtie.
- What is going on in Houston these days?
- Men used to summarily execute each other for gnome theft; not anymore. Now your tax dollars go to support kangaroo courts and funny shows. And the democratic party wants this.
- This country used to revere dentists. Now they're laughing stocks. What is going on? The liberals want to take away your retainers.
- Growing up I had huge posters of big hulky football quarterbacks. Now they wear sweater vests and cry all day. What is going on?
- Boy on boy sodomy is everywhere now. They talk about it openly. Don't believe me? Take another look in Houston. This is what the left wants for your kids.
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26. Today I want to talk about what I am eating as I watch Reba, which is candy. Let's call this sub-column Sunny's Sugar Shack (formerly Sunny K's Kandy Korner). What's on the menu today? Jujyfruits. The Jujyfruit is likely one of the less popular fruit-based sugar confections, even among the gumdrop species. The category is likely headed by DOTS, which are disgusting. On Jujyfruits:
Appearance — The first note of Jujyfruits' quirkiness comes from the shapes the gumdrops are in. It's not your usual "dot" or even sour patch child or sour patch child, watermelon. We've got asparagus, HEIDE stamped Banana (HEIDE?), grapes, peapod, pineapple, raspberry, and a tomato. I want to make clear these shapes have absolutely nothing to do with the flavors, except for raspberry, which does.
Texture — Jujyfruits are a food that require a small skill hill to be climbed for optimal eating. One will note that this particular corn syrup confection is highly affected by temperature. At low temperatures, Jujyfruits will have the sticking potency of high yield industrial epoxy. Eating too many in the molars may rip out your teeth. I say this only half jokingly. At higher temperatures, they yield almost too easily (thank you 97deg July). Have the space? Fridge them.
Taste — The thing about the "sugar/fruit" category of mass market confection is that you typically already know what flavors you're getting going on. Your standard orange, lemon, lime, cherry, grape. Sometimes sub out grape for strawberry à la Starburst. Jujyfruits subs out two key players (cherry and grape) for two speculative: raspberry and anise. The commonality with most of these gumdrop flavors is having a bit of sour and/or spice helps cut the cloying sweetness of pure, concentrated sugar. Raspberry is a surprise yet logical fruit and works beautifully. Anise, however, is a much more controversial choice. How many people do you know who have said some variant of "I like everything except black licorice [as a flavor]"? I am sympathetic. This is actually a step less esoteric from the original Jujyfruits lineup which included spearmint instead of lime. All I'll say it's a compromise, and it's an acquired taste. YMMV.
Je ne sais quoi — Elaine loved Jujyfruits, and I think I trust her candy choices (George too into chocolate. Jerry with Pez? SSS will circle back to Kramer and Junior Mints.)
Comparisons and alternatives —
i. Jujubes, by the same company, are sort of a little brother to Jujyfruit. It's also the literal name of the fruit "jujube" and sort of a tip off of what they were doing with the name if it wasn’t already obvious?
ii. Dots – these things fucking suck. Bottom tier Halloween candy to give/get
4/5 pukes
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Random p.s.: I couldn’t help myself and googled Scarlett. She missed most of Season 5 getting treated for anorexia. If or how this was addressed in the show is anyone's guess. Do I feel a small irony learning this the same day I ate a whole box of sweets? Shrug.
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