And apparently Google Photos automatically sorts your photos for you when you have enough of them. There are albums organized by "People" (you can't tag faces, a robot does it for you, and it's... mostly accurate, I guess), by "Places" (you can tag each photo with a location, though the "Places" albums are broadly categorized by city), and by "Things."
The "Things" albums are hilariously inaccurate, and give a great insight as to the thought processes of robots who are trying to figure out what exactly is going on in a photo. Here are the "Things" albums that Google Photos gets wrong for me.
"Prom"
I guess I can kind of see the logic for this one, but c'mon. There is clearly a bride in a white dress there. And the lack of a tie on the guy in front would NEVER be allowed at the strict Catholic high school proms I attended. Keep the tie on, look presentable!
"Airplanes"
There is absolutely no logic to this picture choice. I don't know of any airplanes that have couches in them, at least not airplanes that Pam and Willow would be buying a ticket for. This pic was taken at Evil Genius Brewery, which sits firmly on the ground (though drink prices might be worse than an airplane's).
"Buses"
I mean, I guess technically this is a bus, but it's really a bus-shaped Wildwood boardwalk ride. I don't think I would let my niece drive a bus at three years old, and the Google robots should know that.
"American Football"
I have no idea why this picture was chosen as the cover of the "American Football" album. The picture takes place at a Halloween party, and neither person in the picture is dressed as a football player. I guess Matt's jacket could theoretically be misconstrued as a letter jacket? But not really (he's supposed to be Ferris Bueller, I think). Bad job, Google.
"Food"
There are not many pictures of food on my Google Photos account, because taking pictures of your food is fucking stupid. But that doesn't excuse why a picture of some very non-edible wedding centerpieces would be chosen for this album cover.
"Baking"
I mean, this would be a better choice for "Food," right? Especially because cookies cakes are by-and-large bought from the store, and not baked by the consumer him/herself. I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiments expressed on these cakes, and I assume they were baked by somebody, but it's still a weird choice here. That's not even considering that there is a "Birthday" album where this would make a good cover!
"Bowling"
As you can see, Google Photos really struggles with sports. Here's another Halloween photo where the robots assume someone is playing a sport. How the algorithm saw a picture of Frank dressed as a superhero(?) standing next to R2D2 and assumed that they were bowling is anyone's guess.
"Rugby Football"
This is almost the most accurate sports-themed album cover here. SO close. I guess the robots saw a bunch of jabronis getting sloppily tackled and assumed that this was way too unorganized to be American Football. (Not included here is the "Football" album, which actually includes a picture of two Turkey Bowl football teams posing for a picture, but I guess it was assumed that that picture was of a SOCCER team, right?)
"Softball"
There is actually a decent amount of softball photos on my account, since we used to play at the Fox Chase Rec every Tuesday, but for some reason, a picture of a group of nurses at a baseball game was chosen here. This, in addition to the fact that the actual softball pics were classified as...
"Circus"
Circus?!?! I mean, I know I look like a fucking clown when I'm up to bat, but in what world is this is a circus? And speaking of clowns...
"Clowns"
Okay, this one is just hilarious.
"Hot Tubs"
Credit where credit is due, this is indeed a group of handsome young gentlemen in a hot tub. But this just goes to show how crazy Google Photos is when it comes to categorizing pictures. This is literally the only picture of anyone in a hot tub that I have. How did this necessitate a whole album? I just don't get it.
"Musical Theater"
Almost correct, Google robots, almost! This pic shows Pam and I on a stage where we both took part in college musicals, but it is actually an engagement photo. No singing involved. But I'm proud of you for trying.
"Trains"
I take it back, you didn't even try for this one. How in the world is this a train?! This is the Rockledge Pub! Though, truthfully, I guess I'd rather be on a crowded train than in the Rockledge Pub most nights.
"Opera"
This is my vote for funniest juxtaposition of album name and allegedly appropriate picture. This is a picture of me, in terrible drag, dancing to Cher's "Strong Enough," and Google Photos calls it "Opera." Good lord.
No comments:
Post a Comment