Fore!, Pat

It's impossible for me to separate "Hip to Be Square" from the famous scene in American Psycho. The two are inextricably intertwined in my brain. However, listening to Fore! pushed me to go back and evaluate Patrick Bateman's monologue in that scene. Specifically, the ending:

"I think their undisputed masterpiece is 'Hip to Be Square,' a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself! Hey Paul!"

I couldn't get the licensing for the actual movie.

 

As much as I hate to admit it, I actually kind of agree with P.B. "Hip to Be Square" is the thesis statement of Fore! To put it more plainly, Fore! is Huey Lewis and the News saying "You can say we're sellouts all you want, but we're having fun and making fucking bank."

If I had to lob a backhanded insult at Fore!, it's that the album doesn't sound unique. Every song sounds like it's designed to appeal to a mass audience. "Stuck on You" sounds like the opening to a hit sitcom, possibly starring Scott Baio and Dave Coulier. "I Never Walk Alone" is HLatN looking around at Reagan's America, taking the guitar riff from "Hip to Be Square," and repurposing the lyrics so that it becomes a mainstay single for hip youth pastors to play at weekend retreats. "Naturally" is HLatN mining all the goodwill they earned from Back to the Future by releasing a super nostalgic, '50s-style doo-wop song. "Whole Lotta Lovin'" is the same thing, but with more advanced sound mixing, and also it's about fuckin'.

What I'm saying is, HLatN was trying to make an album that a lot of people would enjoy, listen to, and buy. After the success of Sports, the pressure was on to prove that they could follow up. Naturally, the songs they chose to record and release were calculated for success, not necessarily artistic value. 

However, I don't think Fore! is cynically produced slop. I mean, maybe it's cynical, but it's not slop. I had a lot of fun listening to this album. It's high energy, and more than a few of the songs are earworms. The band succeeded in their mission. I enjoyed listening to it. And I'm guessing if HLatN got to hang out with Joe Montana, they probably enjoyed making it as well. 

Which brings me back to "Hip to Be Square." If Fore! really was designed solely to go #1 on the Billboard charts (which it did), then "Hip to Be Square" is not only HLatN's admission to that, but a giant middle finger to anyone who looks down their nose at them for it. The whole song is Huey Lewis calling us dumb for not realizing how good he is at his job. 

"You might think I'm crazy, but I don't even care

Because I can tell what's going on

It's hip to be square."

We sit in our hipster café, sipping our lattes, laughing about how square Huey Lewis is. "What a corny sellout!" we chortle, careful not to spill the foam. Then the door flies open. There is Huey Lewis. He snatches the latte out of our hand and—without ever breaking eye contact—pisses in it. Then, he hands it off to Johnny Colla, who does the same thing. The whole band does the same. Six grown men just pissed in our fancy coffee and we can't do a damn thing about it, because they made an album that went triple platinum and we didn't. 

Don't believe me? Look at the title, you goons. "FORE!" is what you shout in golf to warn other people on the green that a ball is coming. It's literally what groups of rich guys yell to let you know they control this turf. 

Rating: 🔨🔨🔨🔨

4 out of 5 hammers going through windows (because Huey likes the sound of breaking glass)