Shelter from the Storm: Girlfriend

June 12, 2005, 11:01 PM

As promised, I updating you with the comings and goings of my life via the free blogging application known as Xanga, in the aftermath of a visit from the Geek Squad, who basically took one look at the smoldering wreckage of my family's desktop computer and claimed that it would require more time and more money to fix the problem, and so my parents just settled on picking up a copy of Norton Antivirus, popping the disc in the hard drive, and crossing their fingers that whatever is ailing this wretched machine will be magically cured by software that sure seems motivated to keep viruses around, the more you think about it. I dunno, I'm almost done the first paragraph in today's Xanga post and I haven't seen any smoke emanating from the CPU, so maybe we're good. Good enough to continue, and get to the heart of the matter, which is:

I had an amazing weekend. It might have been one of the best I've had in a while, maybe one of the best of my life. Let us discuss.

On Friday night, I had what I am humble enough to describe as my first official date ever, with Girlfriend. This is exciting, right? I cringe at the idea of "announcing" the fact that I have a girlfriend, but, like, I've never had a girlfriend before, and I typically use this Xanga to talk about my life, and I don't know how to write around this objectively significant development. Anyways, me and Girlfriend traveled down to South Street, where we hung out at Jim's, shopped around for a bit (Condom Kingdom being a great first-date icebreaker), and then hung out on the bridge at the end of the street with a nice view of the Delaware River.

Here is the part where I embarrassingly address Girlfriend directly, here on this public Xanga (look, you're just gonna have to get used to this for the time being, okay?): Girlfriend, you are an amazing woman, and I'm so glad I met you at Monty's backyard barbecue. I hope our relationship works out (taking what I know so far and extrapolating, I am confident it will).

Saturday mornings in the summer mean sleeping in. I stopped by a family member's graduation party for a little bit in the afternoon. At nightfall, I met up with my pals Cindy and Mary, and we had one goal in mind: to find the legendary Burholme Park Firepit, its location having eluded us thus far in our collective youth. We bravely traveled to the bottom of the valley near the Burholme Creek, and stumbled upon of our section of Northeast Philly's infamous keg parties. A few acquaintances, a bunch of strangers, good times all around. But we are "good kids" and we "didn't drink," because we had a mission in mind, and it remained a priority (though, I will say that keggers are fun regardless of whether you're drinking or not).

And holy shit, wouldn't you know... we found it. The firepit. There it was. The night was dark, but this landmark was glowing. I have a feeling that I'll be back to this hallowed ground soon enough.

Plenty of beginnings this weekend, and at least one ending: today, I played my final game of roller hockey, probably ever. Yes, I am sixteen years old and for sixteen years have exhibited exactly zero athletic talent and yet still participate in an organized club sport. I am useless on the hockey court. The most important thing I ever did was get hit in the penis with a puck slapped by the gnarliest slap-shotter in the league, thus encouraging all other males out there to start wearing a cup. Other than that, I'm just a 6'4" waste of space. Not sure how I lasted this long.

But let's also add one more beginning to this already momentous week: this Thursday, I am beginning my employment at the Lafayette Redeemer Retirement Home as a waiter in their independent living dining room. In one sense, this feels like a loss of freedom, having a job and added responsibilities. In another sense, it signals the next step into adulthood. I have a girlfriend, I have a job, I'm... well, I'm hanging out in the woods at keg parties. Didn't say I'm completely a grown-up at this point. I'm just saying that I'm taking steps in that general direction.

But in that regard, let's end this blog post with a little poll. Feel free to drop your answers in the comments.

Let's say, hypothetically of course, I were to organize and throw a party at the Burholme Park Firepit, but did not provide alcohol, just to avoid all the complications that that particular party detail might entail: 1) would you want to attend? 2) would you be allowed to attend? 3) if you were not allowed, per your parental unit, would you be willing to lie to them and say that you are attending an intimate friends gathering at the miniature golf course adjacent to the woods, and then dip into the darkness after their mid-sized vehicle peels off into the Northeast Philly night?

If you have the time, please let me know. I'm trying to figure out if such an event would be worth the hassle or not. I'm leaning toward "worth it," but I'm feeling really good about this summer, and I don't want to make any rash decisions while in this pleasant state of mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comments

JFingers88: I'd want to come, but I'm not sure my parents would allow it. It also depends on the date, time, and if I too get a job serving seniors.

harry3236: 1) yeaa 2) yeaa 3) noo

MadeFromRecycledPaper: Awwww. I popped your date cherry... and I must say, Friday was fantastique (azz ze frensssh saaaay). We must do it again... soon. Get that damned helicopter up and running! Sorry about the hockey loss. As I said, Maroon is infinitely better than Yellow, no matter the final score. Regarding the hypothetical question: 1. Absolutely 2. Of Course 3. "Mom and Dad, my boyfriend wants to take me into the woods to some shady firepit thingy. We may make some animal sacrifices. You know the deal." "Huh, dear? I didn't hear you." "Joe wants to go minigolfing!"And now I'm off to not sleeping because that's what people like us do. *Wink wink*

Anonymous: Joe, I'm not seeing my blogring on your list... tsk tsk. After that deal, but you're a swindler anyways, I wasn't expecting you to go through.  
1) Yes... who wouldnt? 2) I don't really know it would depend on the time when I ask my parents you know they can be fickle about things. 3) woods shady.  haha... im a shady person. now i bet you didn't know that.

Anonymous: when? i'd come. i like the mini-golf story. it prolly wouldn't matter to my parents, but the less questions they ask the betteroh, and im happy for you and marie. i swear

Anonymous: Nice job joe. Way to join! BRAVO!

Anonymous: hey about your computer problem I have this thing called a Kill Disk which wipes everything off your computer, I could get it from my dad if you want, but it might be a bit drastic for your type of problem.
1) Yeah 2) I don’t know that depends on how I ask and if my mom's in a good mood. 3) haha "shady" I live near a lake I'm surrounded by woods

Kristin: Joseph Michael... I cant believe u found the firepit without me... I thought we were BFF.... hehehe just makin you feel guilty... PS... we need to plan BADMITTON!!!!!!

Baby_C: jesus GOD IM TELLIN YA !no one knows where the firepit is. good thing you guys found it.

xxnic***tti32: o joe... the firepit ...I CANT BELIEVE WE FOUND IT!!.... i must say it is everything i thought itd be and MORE... well i dunno... everyone has to see it for themselves... its still very awesome in my book!! party... hellz yes... summer funn!