Song of the Day: "M.A.S.T.E.R., Pt. 2"

A column about music, and about how the music informs our lives. Today's author is Joe. See the previous songs HERE.

"M.A.S.T.E.R., Pt. 2"

Play ft. Lil' Fizz

from The Master of Disguise: Music from the Motion Picture

2002

Can I just take a minute to reflect on how much fun I had with that whole Master of Disguise thing? I wasn't lying when I said it was the worst movie I had ever seen in my entire life... but at the same time, I don't want that statement to make it seem like I was miserable during that process. Some movies are frustratingly bad, but The Master of Disguise wasn't that. It was the second type of bad movie, the ones that allow you ample space to revel, in real time, in its badness.

It's one of those movies that is so bad that it sticks with you, and it softens over time. Not in a reevaluation way—never, no, not ever with this shit film—but in the sort of way that makes me laugh at the whole incident. The movie itself is unfunny, but the watching of the movie and the hating of the movie becomes funnier, over time. I'm sitting here typing and thinking about Dana Carvey saying the word "turtle." The joke is not funny. But it's so unfunny that the act of calling it unfunny is the thing that becomes funny. I don't know if that makes sense, but I don't care. I'm laughing right now. It doesn't matter why.

I can totally see why there are some critics or professional writers who devote some or all of their careers to the pursuit of the bad. Occasionally, something that is bad is more interesting than something that is good. It's fascinating because it's more unbelievable that something bad could be made. I don't doubt that the people who worked on The Master of Disguise are largely talented individuals. How does all that talent add up to the worst movie of all time? That's the sort of question that could fuel so many thinkpieces. I appreciate the pursuit, and I appreciated being able to dip my toes into it briefly and check it out, even though I know if I watched bad movies every week, I'd quickly get bored with it.

There is nothing about The Master of Disguise that bored me, though, and so I am thankful for the experience. Please do not watch this film. Let me keep all this perverse joy to myself.