"Kids in America"
Kim Wilde
from Kim Wilde
1981
I know this song because everyone knows this song. It's one of those tunes that's baked into the American consciousness. The flip side of that phenomenon is that no one knows where they know it from. There can't be a "from" if it's everywhere. I can't point to a particular piece of entertainment and be like "this song makes me think of this." I don't have any memories of listening to this song in the car as a kid or anything like that. It just exists. If you type in "kids in america" into youtube, then the first drop-down suggestion is "jimmy neutron," which tells me that there are other people out there who really just have no fucking clue how they know this song.
The weird Mandala/Bernstein thing about this song is that I'm listening to the original Kim Wilde version, and I'm starting to question whether this was the version that I know. There are more synths then I remember. It's possible, maybe even probable, that I grew up watching a movie or TV show that featured a cover version of this song, and that's the song that I was familiar with. But I'm scrolling through as many covers as I can find, and none of them feel right either. Is there a version of "Kids in America" that will ever scratch that nostalgia itch that I have in my brain? I must be misremembering this, right?
But that wasn't the first question I had about "Kids in America" after it first pierced the vail about a year ago for me, when I realized, oh, wow, this is a song that is good and ubiquitous and I've literally never given it a single moment of thought in my entire life. That question: Has Kidz Bop ever covered "Kids in America"?
I am happy/sorry to report that yes, obviously they have covered it. In 2008, the franchise released a disc called 80s Gold [sic], and this song was included. A real bummer that they couldn't bend the rules just this once and call it "Kidz in America," but I get it. My exposure to Kidz Bop is relatively limited, so I didn't really know what to expect. I think this is a relatively faithful version (as far as I can tell, since I can't even seem to find the version that I first heard, so comparison is hypothetical). I will say that the backing vocals are pretty funny. That "zoooom!!!!" ten seconds in is over-the-top in the best way. Oh shit, am I saying good things about Kidz Bop?
Nah. YouTube showed me their version of "Pink Pony Club," and these little rascals managed to make an extremely annoying song (at best) into one of the worst fucking things I've ever heard. A real missed opportunity to not feature any actual ponies in that video. I'd rather see farm animals than a bunch of creepy-ass kids doing strained coordinated dancing.
Imagine your claim to fame being the lead dancer in the video for the Kidz Bop version of "Pink Pony Club." I literally cannot do it, so far is my own livelihood from those of nepo babies born in Los Angeles suburbs. Watching videos like this make me feel so fucking disconnected from humanity, man. It's like I think I know how people operate generally and then I see something like this and I'm like, fuck, I know nothing.
Imagine your claim to fame being the lead dancer in the video for the Kidz Bop version of "Pink Pony Club." I literally cannot do it, so far is my own livelihood from those of nepo babies born in Los Angeles suburbs. Watching videos like this make me feel so fucking disconnected from humanity, man. It's like I think I know how people operate generally and then I see something like this and I'm like, fuck, I know nothing.
Perhaps I will never know the kids in America. But I will continue to live for the music-go-round regardless.
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