Same blog post, different season. I can't remember the original blog post though, where it lies among the detritus of almost 10k posts on a dumb blog. I'm getting better at telling people I match with on non-monogamous dating apps about the blog, like less embarrassed, all at the moment when I can feel the blog dying very, very, very slowly.
But there was something somewhere back like six months ago when I said that my neighbor was shoveling my sidewalk even though he had two young kids in there, like it wasn't necessary, or I didn't know how to take the kind gesture as just a simple kind gesture, how I am conditioned to be offended or something, like, what, why are you doing this for me, why can't you let me do it for you, it makes me feel weirdly hollow to have someone just do something for me, like feel small, which is a fucked up reaction and probably requires therapeutic analysis at some point...
...and then so the other day I noticed that my neighbor is doing the same thing in the summer months, taking his lawn mower and running it all down the patch of grass between my sidewalk and the street, probably adds three or four minutes to his ordeal, and he hasn't mentioned it to me or anything, he just does it. It just stresses me out, one because that means that at least one person notices when I don't mow the lawn as often as I should, and two because now, what, am I supposed to mow his patch of grass between sidewalk and street whenever I'm out there?
A simple solution would be to just say thanks, and maybe give them a small token of gratitude, a pineapple-upside-down cake or some shit like, I dunno, clearly I don't know what the situation calls for, I've never been the neighbor that has received small moments of assistance, I'm usually giving it, and it's uncomfortable on this side of the fence, as this is my flaw.
I swore to myself that today's picture was going to be at the pool my kids have Thursday afternoon swim lessons at, but that's life for ya.
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