I would say that, on an average day, I am checking the blog like 25 times throughout the day. Everyone has the thing that they click on every time they touch their phone, this just happens to be mine. Could be worse. Could be TikTok, ya feel me?
Today's not an average day, though. It's Christmas. Santa delivered presents, so we're gonna check them out, and then there's a decent amount of prep for hosting Christmas dinner with both sides of the family (plus maybe Boober), cooking the turkey and cleaning the house and all that shit. I'm not really going to be looking at my phone today. I'm not going to be blogging. I'm going to be present with my family. Puke on Your Birthday is not operating today.
As I've done for the past four or five years, I'll use this space to list a few blog posts that I was proud of this year. This is an exercise lacking in humility, but I can pull it off today because no one is here anyway, including me. If you don't celebrate or if you don't have any plans today and you somehow find yourself on the only blog to exist at the tail-end of 2024, then my apologies in advance.
I wrote a lot this year. We all did. I love reading blog posts written by others. I only like reading blog posts written by myself occasionally. Most are forgettable, a few are outright terrible, but there are a handful each year that make me say: "Yeah, okay, that was pretty good." Those are the blog posts I will list below. And then that will be that (until Nate revisits the posts under a more critical eye, anyway).
Joe's Favorite Joe Blog Posts of 2024
- Review of Fore! (Lester Bangs theft)
- Review of Teenage Dream (time travel hackery)
- Review of The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess (pop star target elevates the form)
- Review of A Little Bit of Mambo (Joey dreams of suicide)
- Facebook scam artists pick the Record Club AotW
- Kailyn loves Fake Garth Brooks
- Never Seen It: Spirited Away (Voyage and Return)*
- A.S.S.: phone calls
- A.S.S.: not unhappiness
- Cigarettes are cool
- Samurai swords
- Ballad of a smoky apartment
- Ralph Malph and 1000 days of sex
- How I Met My Friends**
- Being cis, probably
- Airing the family's dirty laundry, in the name of emotional well-being
- Passing the Bechdel Test
- The ex-girlfriend mixtape
- Pretty sure I killed Buckethead with this blog post
- Loving music even though I'm sober
- Living the fourth
- Art and the cruelty of The Man
- The Attack of Moshpit Josh
- First burglary in Rockledge history
- Why are you crying to 100 gecs, daddy
- The DJ made no mistakes
- The life and death of a math teacher
- Mike Scott is a punk-ass bitch
- Colin Jost fucks dog
- Waiting for the bomb to fall
- Viewing a chair
- McNally's is a nazi bar now
- The Top 100 Songs of All Time***
- Everything that led us here
- I would absolutely have sex with the front desk receptionist at my gym if she gave any indication that she would also be down
*gun to my head, the best-written blog post
**gun to my head, my favorite post to write
***gun to my head, the most essential blog post
As always, the truth of the matter is that all of the actual best blog posts from this past year were written by other people, not me. But you'll have to search before and beyond Christmas Day to find those.
Merry Christmas to the Puke on Your Birthday family! Thanks for being here this year!
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