I Am Til and I Am Death #14: "The Colleague"

A review of S01E14 of the American sitcome 'Til Death. 

I've lived a good life. Sincerely. My crowning achievement was my family—my wife and beautiful kids. It's been a real treat to go through my best years with my best people. But my name will probably always be remembered for, if I'm being honest, my hoagie shop. My name is Lee Seitchek. I am 80 years old. I owned, for a long time, Lee's Hoagie House. All the Glenside kids used to visit, back when I first opened. 90 cents for a Cheltenham Hoagie, add hot peppers and oil.

I'm retired from the hoagie game now. A few of my most trusted workers took it over. They're expanding it beyond what I ever could've dreamed of on my own. Seriously! Seventeen locations and counting, even one in California! Absolutely wild. They have CEOs and investors and all that kinda stuff. That was never for me. I just wanted to make sandwiches. I just wanted to make people happy.

"You did, pop."

"I tried my best."

I said that out loud. Wow. Not used to speaking. I'm losing it in my old age. Sometimes I can't tell whether what I'm thinking is happening inside or outside of my brain. The kind young folk who surround my bed right now are smiling gently. They say they're related, I'm not really sure. But I like having them here. They are good company. One of them, a young man, says his name is "tray" or something, says that Lee's Hoagie House is even on the telly! You believe that? We made the big time. We sure did.

Oh, I don't know what they heck show he was talking about. Some American sitcome called Still Death, I think? The young people in my room showed me a few episodes. There it was, the facade of my old restaurant, the Hoagie House. The tall guy who looks suspiciously like that bit part in that movie The Amateurs, or The Moguls, something like that, I think his name was Wally, he's in this show! And he's eating a sandwich at Lee's! Now I've seen everything.

I don't remember much from Still Death. I know that Tall Wally is married to a very attractive middle-aged woman, a hot wife as the children around my bedside call her. I did watch one episode that's stuck with me, and I don't know why. They didn't visit my hoagie shop in this episode, so maybe that's why it stood out. They say it was called "The Colleague." About Wally and hot wife saying they don't get jealous and then hot wife getting jealous. I didn't understand that part. I've learned over the past 80 something years that jealousy is a natural emotion and that when you feel it you just gotta acknowledge it and use it as springboard to communicate with your loved ones. It's not a life-breaker. It's normal. It's probably not normal to not feel jealous sometimes.

But there was this pasty looking little kid in the episode too, and he was married to a woman who I know obviously is character actress Kat Foster, I mean I don't watch much of the telly these days but I know who character actress Kat Foster is who doesn't.

"We know you know who character actress Kat Foster is, pop."

Oh lordy I said that out loud too? I'm slipping. But she was talking to the little pasty pie fucker (I know one when I see one) and I guess this guy is her husband? How did that happen? That's a question that's addressed in the episode, and the answer was, basically, ya know, who can explain love? Character actress Kat Foster's character says she's been with a lot of cool guys, but she wanted to marry the uncool pasty guy. She says it with her typical grace and cool. Kinda just shrugs and says, i love you, isn't that enough of an explanation?

And it is. I think about all the love I've seen and felt in my life. I feel it now for my family even though I can't see any of them past any of these youngins surrounding my bed. And I could see so much love at that Lee's Hoagie House. I could see love when people would bite into a fresh hoagie, them knowing how much thought and care went into that sandwich's construction. I saw it on the telly, too, when Wally bit the sandwich he was eating, and when he brought his goth daughter from the meth show that one time. His big dumb eyes lit up like he knew love. That's what this show is about, love. That's what this life is about, love.

"Here's that Cheltenham hoagie with hot peppers and oil you wanted, pop."

Did I make this order? I can't remember. But I bite down, and I feel it.

Hoagie and also episode: 5 pukes out of 5