tIlDeAtH#15: "The Bachelor Party"

A review of S01E15 of the American sitcome 'Til Death. 

—open scene on a kid in ne philly suburb

—right where show til death take place

—1940s though

—so like before the show

—way before

—and he's biking

—that's what kids did in 40s

—biked, no parental supervision mostly

—wekeends i'm talking about

—playing card in spokes of bike

—cigarettes in rolled-up sleeve of white T

—riding around town with friends

—splitting a pop

—you get it

—one day this kid splits away from his friends

—goes down a different street

—strange, doesn't remembr ever going down that way

—thought he knew this whole town

—bikes upon some hole in the ground

—glowing green light from within

—bikes right into it

—would normally write some more build-up to this moment, no time for that today though

—sorry

—just typing my way through it

—envisioning the scenario

—average white male

—(that's all i know to write to, my bad for that too)

—biking

—glowing green whatever

—he opens it up

—figures out it's time machine

—he doesn't step inside, too small

—not like those kind of time machines

—more like, he can feel different times

—fourth dimension, not fifth

—backward and forward on his own singular timeline

—you get it

—I think I get it?

—i'm not a scientist, i'm just a blogger

—name's wayne

—my name, not the kid

—errr, kid's name?

—how about: howard

—Howard Marian

—12 years old

—school at Hinton E.S.

—SS# 309-81-1462

—so anyway, he's got his little time machine

—the "understanding the machine" thing happens off-screen

—because I don't feel like writing it

—but suffice to say he knows it now

—can see backward and forward

—has that sorta would we maybe call it superpower

—and sees all the way back to his birth

—even further, since his dna has existed before that

—back to like the first little goopy microbes in the gassy sea like 4 bil years ago

—and then all the way into the future

—past his marriage, kids, old age, death

—past some blogger named wayne writing about him

—all the way into the heat death of the universe, when his final remains disappear

—and everything

—in

—be

—tween

—kinda like that tom hanks movie that kat foster's non-monogamous cousin told me about

—just looked it up

—HERE

—never seen it

—probably kinda like that

—maybe

—anyway

—Howard, he's got the time machine

—and can see into the future

—which is important for the framing of this blog post

—like did you know that he was friends with lee?

—lee was 12yo at the time too

—and Howard could see the future

—the hoagies in the future

—the Cheltenham hoagie taste, through the time machine, that bologna, beef salami, ham, cooked salami, capicola, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, provolone cheese
—and oregano

—he tells his buddy lee about it

—lee opens a hoagie shop a while down the road (chronologically speaking)

—I know it doesn't make sense

—if he could see lee's hoagies in the future, but was also the person who gave lee the idea for such a hoagie?

—it's circular, it's infinite

—best not to think about it

—time travel fucks things up in a big way

—but it doesn't fuck up the american sitcome till death

—which he can of course now see, with the time traveling stuff

—watching a classic sitcome from 60 years in the future

—as one does

—recognizes the guy who plays the guy in the 2026 film Magic Hour

—with the rapping thomas jefferson guy

—sees him being yr typical sitcome dad in this pretty generic sitcome family show

—howard can see the past and future but doesn't understand most of it

—can't understand the emotions expressed on or behind the screen

—what might compel two people who hate each other to stay together

—what might compel actors to stay involved in something that they must know on some level is pretty crass and artless

—the former, he can see, is an understanding will come in time

—the latter, not so much

—he'll never know what it means to work at something that doesn't give fulfillment

—to consider something a paycheck

—the time machine will allow him to avoid all that, he sees

—tough to get stuck in a job when you can see your future and know how to avoid them

—but he watches it anyway

—the ep

—the 15th one in the first season

—"The Bachelor Party"

—he watches concurrently with watching his own bachelor party play out

—friends he knows already

—lee is there, e.g.

—friends he'll meet in the future

—gathered at a strip club

—not totally unlike the one in the til death episode

—but with ample more nudity

—since this isn't a sitcome

—you're allowed to see boobies in real life

—the bouncers are also not total dicks, just strick

—and if the strippers let you grope, then you can grope

—they just say no groping because some people have no sense of boundaries or consent

—this is what a 12yo is thinking about as he travels through time, yes

—fucking sue me

—he's thinking about everything, all at once

—so this is part of it

—so too is the idea that it pays to be cool in marriage

—the constant tension between these two couples in this american sitcome seeming to be over what we are comfortable doing away from our partners

—like character kat foster is iffy about letting pasty american pie freak have a bachelor party at a strip club

—but ultimately relents

—and copes with drugs

—which is fine

—but says something about the human condition

—so thinks Howard

—as he examines time and all incidents throughout time

—crouching down in the back alley of his neighborhood

—in 1940s america

—the future is bright

—he already knows it is

—there is nothing to worry about

—no marital strife

—all the marital strife howard will ever experience is laid out in front of him, already known

—and the rest of it can be seen in this sitcome

—he can see that the grade is 5 pukes out of 5

—and always was

—and always will be

—and now i'm going to stop typing

—this blog post

—but the world still exists

—even when i stop

—remember that

—and remember to pick up a hoagie on the way home