2020 in Review: Every Other Movie I Saw, Kind of Ranked

a couple of Hive Harrys

The main list of movies that I've seen this year doesn't include every movie I watched throughout the year. Below are a few that I didn't think would make sense in that company.

Every Children's Movie I Saw This Year, Ranked

Some children's movies are very good. Some children's movies are very bad. Children enjoy watching the same entertainment over and over, so no matter whether each children's movie is good or bad, I've seen every movie on this list about a dozen times at least.

13. Trolls — Here's how the script for Trolls was created: a bunch of hired hands scoured the TV Tropes website, ranked their favorite tropes, and then fashioned them into "jokes" as told by a cloying Justin Timberlake troll doll. There is nothing original about Trolls.

12. Bee Movie — Yes, this movie was on the main list too. I saw it in a critical capacity for my Never Seen It project, and then was horrified to find that it had struck a chord with Willow. I am typing this 13 hours after our most recent viewing. It gets worse every time.

11. The Secret Life of Pets 2 — Only one stinky movie could get me to mutter for 30 minutes straight about it.

10. Onward — "Pixar (Remix)" (feat. the internet's least favorite religious homophobe)
9. Trolls: World Tour — A general rule that applies even to shitty kids movies: if it's about music in any capacity, I will usually like it just a little bit more than I would otherwise.
8. The Addams Family — Not great, but it gets props for at least capturing the same spirit as its source material.

7. Frozen II —Watching Frozen II for the first time was my favorite movie experience by a mile this year. That's not because it is a good movie—it's fine—but because it wasn't Frozen.
6. The Grinch — This animated adaptation proves once and for all the fatal flaw of Ron Howard's 2000 take by supposing: What if the denizens of Whoville were kind, decent, good-hearted people?!

5. Finding Dory — Better than any sequel has any right to be, but oh boy, wouldn't it be nice to have Dory's ability to forget who Ellen DeGeneres is?

4. Tangled — If there was justice in this world, then Tangled would've been a bigger hit than Frozen, but this is the world of children's entertainment, so no, there will never be justice.

3. The Princess and the Frog — Willow is a big Dr. John fan now.

2. Toy Story 4 — It's a small miracle how many allegories about parenthood this silly little franchise was able to spin throughout its 24-year run.

1. Ratatouille — This film probably has a spot in the top five movies of all time, so, yeah, it's gonna wipe the floor on a list like this, when it's up against fucking Trolls.

 

Every Non-Fiction Film I Saw This Year, Ranked

 

There are three, but I will still rank them.

 

3. Escape Fires — This is a health care documentary we watched for Pam's nursing class, and it didn't tell me anything I didn't already know: we're undeniably fucked.

2. Miss Americana — In which Taylor Swift makes a compelling case that she is your friend. Pretty much achieved the same purpose as folklore would.
1. Springsteen on Broadway — The man is a storyteller.

Every Repeat Film I Saw This Year, Ranked

There are a few movies I watched for the second time (or more), and here they are.

5. Jersey Boys — Is there a good music biopic?

4. Hamilton — I think that Hamilton fever has finally, thankfully peaked.

3. Almost Famous — I recorded half of a YFM interview for this one, but due to time constraints, it might end up just being published as the full interview at some point. Decent movie, but the "music movie" rule definitely applies.

2. Nebraska — Don't let anyone tell you that old people can't be fantastic actors.

1. Titanic — There's a fucking reason that this was the biggest movie of our lifetimes.