There is a light at the end of the tunnel—maybe, hopefully—and so I feel like there's going to be a lot of chatter in the weeks and months ahead regarding what kind of shit we'd all like to get into once it's safe to do whatever we want. I'm predicting now that this is going to turn into a phenomenon akin to bucket lists, except maybe it'll be the opposite of a bucket list? Like, we'll be making lists of things we want to do, not before we die, but after we are truly allowed to live.
Me? I don't need a list, especially when you consider the fact that COVID was masking the fact that I wouldn't have been able to do anything anyway (for real—maybe me and Pam are getting a babysitter three additional times in 2020 than we did, but otherwise we're still the same homebodies chained to the home base due to young children and their precious needs, deadly disease or no). No, when 70% of the population has been pricked with the negative-80-degree Celsius vaccine twice over a one-month period, there is but one idea I have that I'd like to implement.
Well, okay, it's not really an original idea, but more of a twist on a new-and-already-classic idea. You maybe have read about it in the Inquirer a few weeks ago. The idea is general known as "Free Blockbuster." As it exists now, there are Free Blockbuster stands all over the country. These self-serve boxes are repurposed newspaper stands, and they are filled with old DVDs (and VHSs, video games, popcorn, movie candy, whatever).
The way it works is simple—you bring a DVD that you already have, you pick a DVD movie out of the box to view at home, and you replace it with the DVD that you brought. No money exchanges hands. There is a certain amount of community trust involved, and sure, some ne'er-do-well will certainly steal everything at some point, but the hope is that the idea of a DVD is so anachronistic that no one would have the motivation to steal it. Like, these things are worth anything, so why bother?
And the general idea is that this is something that brings the community together. We have this free commodity available to us, so let's take pride in it. This, on top of the fact that it solves a problem that I have vis-à-vis selecting entertainment these days: with all these streaming movie options, the experience is devalued through its sheer quantity. Having a finite set of options for a Friday night home movie experience can actually help you feel more comfortable with your ultimate selection. In other words, Free Blockbuster lets you avoid taking part in a real-life reenactment of an Onion article.
Okay, so this is the idea that exists right now, currently, in the hotbed of all Philadelphia innovation—Fishtown. Like I said, read about it in the Inquirer. I love the idea, and I want to be a part of it, but I want to take the same idea and repurpose it for my own emotional needs. Here me out.
In this hypothetical post-coronavirus world, I am blocking off a portion of my new, relatively spacious side yard, and devoting it to the new Free Blockbuster Fox Chase. My version of Free Blockbuster will operate in the same general way that they do already—bring a DVD, take a DVD, plus/minus—except for one key difference. I will operate my Free Blockbuster Fox Chase like an actual store, i.e. I will man the DVD stand, in person.
I'm picturing a hot dog stand-type operation, like a big cart that I wheel out every Friday evening from like 5 PM to 8 PM, and folks from around the neighborhood pull up to pick up their movie selection for the weekend. I would be familiar with the movies—having spent the week familiarizing myself with what we have in stock—and, eventually, become familiar with the regular clientele as well, and would be able to give insightful movie suggestions based on that.
On top of that, I think this would be a cool opportunity to parlay our collective love of movies and to utilize my side yard for some fun movie nights. Think about it—friends and family and neighbors, splayed out on blankets around the yard, watching this week's movie selection that's being projected onto the screen hung up on the side of the house. I'm closing up shop at 8 PM and hitting play on the projector and thanking everyone for showing up tonight and to please enjoy, and so on. I love the intertwined ideas of 1) having an excuse to invite my fellow Fox Chase denizens to come together, and 2) having an excuse to invite various friends and family members over to our house on a regular weekly basis. I'm again picturing the scene—neighbors bringing over a blanket and a six-pack and some popcorn, interacting with my college friends who were looking for something to do on a Friday night, Pam and I and the kids are hanging out with the people we care about on a Friday night (which we never fucking do anymore), everyone gathering round, a little tipsy, watching tonight's selection of Back to the Future II, blasted on the big screen on a beautiful summer eve.
The idea and its benefits stretch beyond the simple and free DVD-bartering system, but that's part of it too. To be able to provide a free, simple, unimportant but appreciated service to the community, to have a baked-in excuse to see my loved ones more often, to expand my knowledge of film, to find an excuse to hang onto my old DVDs, to finally feel at home in this still-strange suburban-esque abode, all these reasons and more are enough to get me kind of excited about this big, dumb idea.
Anyways, hang on tight, because none of this is coming to fruition until after a vaccine has overwhelmingly made the rounds throughout the United States. Until then, Free Blockbuster Fox Chase exists in the hypothetical only. But I will be spending most of the rest of quarantine trying to convince Pam that this is a worthwhile idea.
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