by Pat
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will become terminally online shorthand for "Woe is me."
The Meme:
The phrase "This is going to ruin the tour." Often times, a clarification—"The world tour"—will follow.
Where You Might Have Seen It:
Hold on. Law Pat is going to cover this next part.
On June 18, 2024, Officer Michael Arkinson of the Sag Harbor Police Department was on routine patrol in the area of Madison Street. At approximately 12:30 AM, Officer Arkinson observed a southbound 2025 BMW fail to stop at a designated stop sign. Officer Arkinson further observed the BMW cross over the marked traffic line into the adjacent lane before returning to their lane of travel.
Officer Arkinson conducted a traffic stop and approached the operator. The operator of the vehicle identified himself as Justin Randall Timberlake, age 43. While speaking to Timberlake, Officer Arkinson observed that Timberlake had glassy, bloodshot eyes. Additionally, Officer Arkinson detected a strong odor of alcoholic beverage emanating from the vehicle.
When asked, Timberlake admitted to consuming "one martini" prior to leaving the American Hotel in Sag Harbor. Officer Arkinson asked Timberlake to step out of the vehicle to conduct SFST (Standard Field Sobriety Tests), and Timberlake agreed. Timberlake was unable to complete the SFST and further declined to take a breathalyzer test.
While placing Timberlake under arrest for DWI, Timberlake muttered, unprompted: "This is going to ruin the tour." When Officer Arkinson asked "What tour?," Timberlake replied, "The world tour."
[Shakes head vigorously]
Hey there! Column Pat is back! Can you tell I had to read hundreds of drunk driving arrest reports in my previous life?
Anyway, the fact that Justin Timberlake had to sheepishly explain that he was famous to a 24-year-old cop (known locally as "little redheaded dipshit") was instantly identified as hilarious.
To be fair, some people disagreed, arguing that the original context was already funnier than anything the Internet could whip up.
Regardless of whether it was based or cringe, "Ruin the Tour" continued to spread through late June. Why? The reason was simple: because fuck Justin Timberlake. That motherfucker had had it too good for too long and the Internet was delighted to see him suffer.
The Message:
"Bad times are a-comin'!"
The Source:
If I was going to figure out whether the world tour was, indeed, ruined, I would have to see it for myself. As of this writing, Timberlake had just wrapped up two shows in Krakow and was on his way to Berlin. His Red Army era, one could say. Naturally, I reached out to my editor about funding.
I really need to start google searching the numbers Joe gives me before I use them. So if seeing the show live was out of the question, I could at least see a recording. Enter YouTube user Social Dude, who appears to work full-time as a guy who records concerts and sporting events.
Social Dude attended the Forget Tomorrow show in Phoenix, Arizona on May 21, 2024. So about a month before the DWI arrest. Not exactly what I was looking for, but it might be the answer to an even bigger question. Was Justin Timberlake's world tour ever worth a shit?
To set the stage, there's a giant screen above the stage. The concert opens with giant Justin Timberlake looking out over the crowd. He seems confused.
The giant J.T. begins with the outro from his 2024 song "Memphis," which is certainly a choice. As giant Justin fades, the man himself rises from beneath the stage. He's in classic Justin Timberlake form, meaning he's dressed like Neo. Or maybe some kind of sex detective. "Sex detective" as in "detective who fucks." Not the other kind.
It's quickly apparent that whatever you think of Justin Timberlake, he's not half-assing his performance. This isn't Bob Dylan we're talking about. Timberlake isn't just singing, but dancing, too. Like, a lot. He dances through "Lovestoned." He dances through "Like I Love You." He dances through "Let Me Talk To You." When we get to "My Love," Justin brings the lights down. He spends a minute singing in the spotlight, but then gets RIGHT BACK TO DANCING. He's been dancing non-stop for twenty minutes and I'm exhausted looking at it.
I'll also mention that the special effects are pretty cool. The screens behind the stage project light effects, weird visualizer footage, or live concert footage, depending on the song. These lead to some wild visuals, during songs such as "FutureSex/LoveSound":
And "Drown":
About thirty-five minutes in, we get to "Cry Me a River." This might be interesting. In light of everything that's happened with Britney Spears, I'm curious to see how Timberlake handles the delicate—HOLY SHIT THE SCREEN FLIES!
What was I talking about? No matter. The angle I watched the concert from wasn't the best (no disrespect to Social Dude), but I imagine this would be a pretty fun concert to attend. Timberlake is dancing like he's dodging gunfire. He plays keyboard ("Señorita," "Until the End of Time") and guitar ("Say Something"). At the hour mark, Timberlake asks "Can we come out and party with you guys?" He then spends the entirety of "Play" going up the aisle with an entourage of backup dancers, before reaching at a second, circular stage in the middle of the venue. It's pretty rad. No one in this crowd has a chance to get bored.
Purely as an experience, I'm not finding much to criticize so far about the Forget Tomorrow tour. The performer is into it. The crowd is into it. The effects are on point. Really, the only issue I had was that Justin did not wear a tie while singing "Suit and Tie." Missed an easy layup there, J.T.
About seventy-five minutes in, I get my first real epiphany about the world tour. During a brief interlude where Timberlake talks to some audience members, he agrees to take a selfie with one woman close to the second stage. The occasion? It's her 40th birthday.
This threw me for a second, but only for a second. Of course Justin Timberlake fans are entering their 40s. That woman would have been eighteen when Justified came out. I'm willing to bet a lot of people in that audience have spent more than half their lives as Justin Timberlake fans.
At this point in his career, Justin Timberlake has probably hit fandom equilibrium. The people who love him have loved him for years and are in too deep. The people who hate him really fucking hate him and will never change. As evidenced by that Gen Z police officer, young people don't know who the fuck he is.
Barring some catastrophic new scandal or world-shaking new music, Justin Timberlake's fanbase is not going to grow or shrink in any meaningful way. From here on out, his concerts will be attended chiefly by horny moms who have loved him since they were teenagers. He's Millennial Tom Jones.
Case in point, Timberlake whips out the guitar again and leads the crowd in a mass sing-along of "Selfish." Hundreds, if not thousands of attendees already know the lyrics to this song Timberlake released only four months earlier. These are not casual fans. This crowd is ride-or-die.
Alright, let's wrap it up. The performance of "SexyBack" is notable because it's one of the songs I recognized right away. And also because of the terrifying, Laser Eyes version of Justin Timberlake that gazes over the crowd to ensure sexiness. Or else.
The concert ends with "Mirrors." Justin finishes strong by dancing on the floating stage as it rotates. The mirror then hangs at a 45-degree angle, so that Timberlake is hanging over the audience. It's wild. The stage then rotates back to its upright position, removing J.T. from sight and possibly crushing him.
All in all, decent concert. I'm glad I didn't have to pay to see it, but I'm sure it would be worth every penny to a Justin Timberlake fan.
But what of our meme? Was the world tour ruined? I don't think so. Not only was the tour not canceled, but it was lauded. Critics were saying things like "Timberlake is showbiz and showbiz is Timberlake" after he got arrested.
Honestly, I don't think Justin Timberlake ever thought the tour was going to be ruined. I don't mean this in a conspiratorial "J.T. got himself arrested to drum up publicity" way. I think Justin Timberlake is a performer above all else. Look at the way he dances at age 43. He lives for this.
For three decades, Justin Timberlake has relentlessly moved through the entertainment industry, outpacing controversy and his own artistic missteps. He's so single-minded and shark-like in his career that, even when he's getting arrested for drunk driving, the only thing he talks about is his world tour. It was less of a thought and more of a reflex. He literally can't stop the feeling.
Next Week: Throw on your green bathing suit and crawl out from under your rock! It's Patrick Week Part 2!
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will become terminally online shorthand for "Woe is me."
The Meme:
The phrase "This is going to ruin the tour." Often times, a clarification—"The world tour"—will follow.
Where You Might Have Seen It:
Hold on. Law Pat is going to cover this next part.
On June 18, 2024, Officer Michael Arkinson of the Sag Harbor Police Department was on routine patrol in the area of Madison Street. At approximately 12:30 AM, Officer Arkinson observed a southbound 2025 BMW fail to stop at a designated stop sign. Officer Arkinson further observed the BMW cross over the marked traffic line into the adjacent lane before returning to their lane of travel.
Officer Arkinson conducted a traffic stop and approached the operator. The operator of the vehicle identified himself as Justin Randall Timberlake, age 43. While speaking to Timberlake, Officer Arkinson observed that Timberlake had glassy, bloodshot eyes. Additionally, Officer Arkinson detected a strong odor of alcoholic beverage emanating from the vehicle.
When asked, Timberlake admitted to consuming "one martini" prior to leaving the American Hotel in Sag Harbor. Officer Arkinson asked Timberlake to step out of the vehicle to conduct SFST (Standard Field Sobriety Tests), and Timberlake agreed. Timberlake was unable to complete the SFST and further declined to take a breathalyzer test.
While placing Timberlake under arrest for DWI, Timberlake muttered, unprompted: "This is going to ruin the tour." When Officer Arkinson asked "What tour?," Timberlake replied, "The world tour."
[Shakes head vigorously]
Hey there! Column Pat is back! Can you tell I had to read hundreds of drunk driving arrest reports in my previous life?
Anyway, the fact that Justin Timberlake had to sheepishly explain that he was famous to a 24-year-old cop (known locally as "little redheaded dipshit") was instantly identified as hilarious.
To be fair, some people disagreed, arguing that the original context was already funnier than anything the Internet could whip up.
Regardless of whether it was based or cringe, "Ruin the Tour" continued to spread through late June. Why? The reason was simple: because fuck Justin Timberlake. That motherfucker had had it too good for too long and the Internet was delighted to see him suffer.
The Message:
"Bad times are a-comin'!"
The Source:
If I was going to figure out whether the world tour was, indeed, ruined, I would have to see it for myself. As of this writing, Timberlake had just wrapped up two shows in Krakow and was on his way to Berlin. His Red Army era, one could say. Naturally, I reached out to my editor about funding.
I really need to start google searching the numbers Joe gives me before I use them. So if seeing the show live was out of the question, I could at least see a recording. Enter YouTube user Social Dude, who appears to work full-time as a guy who records concerts and sporting events.
 |
| Pictured: Doing God's work. |
Social Dude attended the Forget Tomorrow show in Phoenix, Arizona on May 21, 2024. So about a month before the DWI arrest. Not exactly what I was looking for, but it might be the answer to an even bigger question. Was Justin Timberlake's world tour ever worth a shit?
To set the stage, there's a giant screen above the stage. The concert opens with giant Justin Timberlake looking out over the crowd. He seems confused.
 |
| "Are you here for me? The aughts ended fourteen years ago." |
The giant J.T. begins with the outro from his 2024 song "Memphis," which is certainly a choice. As giant Justin fades, the man himself rises from beneath the stage. He's in classic Justin Timberlake form, meaning he's dressed like Neo. Or maybe some kind of sex detective. "Sex detective" as in "detective who fucks." Not the other kind.
 |
| Pictured: a costume left over from In Time |
It's quickly apparent that whatever you think of Justin Timberlake, he's not half-assing his performance. This isn't Bob Dylan we're talking about. Timberlake isn't just singing, but dancing, too. Like, a lot. He dances through "Lovestoned." He dances through "Like I Love You." He dances through "Let Me Talk To You." When we get to "My Love," Justin brings the lights down. He spends a minute singing in the spotlight, but then gets RIGHT BACK TO DANCING. He's been dancing non-stop for twenty minutes and I'm exhausted looking at it.
I'll also mention that the special effects are pretty cool. The screens behind the stage project light effects, weird visualizer footage, or live concert footage, depending on the song. These lead to some wild visuals, during songs such as "FutureSex/LoveSound":
And "Drown":
 |
| If only he'd had a gigantic life jacket. |
About thirty-five minutes in, we get to "Cry Me a River." This might be interesting. In light of everything that's happened with Britney Spears, I'm curious to see how Timberlake handles the delicate—HOLY SHIT THE SCREEN FLIES!
What was I talking about? No matter. The angle I watched the concert from wasn't the best (no disrespect to Social Dude), but I imagine this would be a pretty fun concert to attend. Timberlake is dancing like he's dodging gunfire. He plays keyboard ("Señorita," "Until the End of Time") and guitar ("Say Something"). At the hour mark, Timberlake asks "Can we come out and party with you guys?" He then spends the entirety of "Play" going up the aisle with an entourage of backup dancers, before reaching at a second, circular stage in the middle of the venue. It's pretty rad. No one in this crowd has a chance to get bored.
Purely as an experience, I'm not finding much to criticize so far about the Forget Tomorrow tour. The performer is into it. The crowd is into it. The effects are on point. Really, the only issue I had was that Justin did not wear a tie while singing "Suit and Tie." Missed an easy layup there, J.T.
About seventy-five minutes in, I get my first real epiphany about the world tour. During a brief interlude where Timberlake talks to some audience members, he agrees to take a selfie with one woman close to the second stage. The occasion? It's her 40th birthday.
This threw me for a second, but only for a second. Of course Justin Timberlake fans are entering their 40s. That woman would have been eighteen when Justified came out. I'm willing to bet a lot of people in that audience have spent more than half their lives as Justin Timberlake fans.
At this point in his career, Justin Timberlake has probably hit fandom equilibrium. The people who love him have loved him for years and are in too deep. The people who hate him really fucking hate him and will never change. As evidenced by that Gen Z police officer, young people don't know who the fuck he is.
Barring some catastrophic new scandal or world-shaking new music, Justin Timberlake's fanbase is not going to grow or shrink in any meaningful way. From here on out, his concerts will be attended chiefly by horny moms who have loved him since they were teenagers. He's Millennial Tom Jones.
Case in point, Timberlake whips out the guitar again and leads the crowd in a mass sing-along of "Selfish." Hundreds, if not thousands of attendees already know the lyrics to this song Timberlake released only four months earlier. These are not casual fans. This crowd is ride-or-die.
Alright, let's wrap it up. The performance of "SexyBack" is notable because it's one of the songs I recognized right away. And also because of the terrifying, Laser Eyes version of Justin Timberlake that gazes over the crowd to ensure sexiness. Or else.
 |
| "Whip me or face certain death." |
The concert ends with "Mirrors." Justin finishes strong by dancing on the floating stage as it rotates. The mirror then hangs at a 45-degree angle, so that Timberlake is hanging over the audience. It's wild. The stage then rotates back to its upright position, removing J.T. from sight and possibly crushing him.
All in all, decent concert. I'm glad I didn't have to pay to see it, but I'm sure it would be worth every penny to a Justin Timberlake fan.
But what of our meme? Was the world tour ruined? I don't think so. Not only was the tour not canceled, but it was lauded. Critics were saying things like "Timberlake is showbiz and showbiz is Timberlake" after he got arrested.
Honestly, I don't think Justin Timberlake ever thought the tour was going to be ruined. I don't mean this in a conspiratorial "J.T. got himself arrested to drum up publicity" way. I think Justin Timberlake is a performer above all else. Look at the way he dances at age 43. He lives for this.
For three decades, Justin Timberlake has relentlessly moved through the entertainment industry, outpacing controversy and his own artistic missteps. He's so single-minded and shark-like in his career that, even when he's getting arrested for drunk driving, the only thing he talks about is his world tour. It was less of a thought and more of a reflex. He literally can't stop the feeling.
 |
| I wish any of my mugshots became accidental artistic sensations |
Next Week: Throw on your green bathing suit and crawl out from under your rock! It's Patrick Week Part 2!
2 comments:
Wait, is this the first meme covered in this column that was created in 2024? I wonder if we will ever reach the point where all the past memes have been written about on the blog and Epimemeology continues on as a watchdog for any new memes that sprout up in real time.
The Cerveza Cristal meme was born in March, even though it's based on an older piece of media
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