Prompt: "A song about heart beating faster or heart issues or something about the heart doing something that's noticeable to the narrator of the song"
Selected by Zach
"Heart Attack"
Wild Rivers
Wild Rivers, 2016
Every once in a while, my chest hurts. Once, it hurt so bad that I was convinced I was having a cardiac episode. But I was on my way to visit family, and I told myself it was fine. At the same time, I thought of the big cities nearby. If I had to leave in the middle of the night, where was the closest hospital?
The pain subsided, like it always does. I did go to the doctor. I had a stress test, an echocardiogram. Nothing too weird came up. The doctor basically told me everything was fine.
I was happy, of course. When you actually have a health condition or a health scare, it's awful. There's nothing like being healthy.
But there was a part of me that was a little disappointed.
Because I knew if I had a condition that caused me to spend some days in the hospital, I'd be noticed. People would come bringing gifts, with tears in their eyes. Teddy bears. Maybe some long-lost crush would walk through the door. I'd get attention without having to lift a finger.
So much of my life I spend trying to get attention. I hide it, but nothing makes me happier than people actively acknowledging that I exist. It's a correction to all the "you're quiet" bullshit I used to get in high school and that I'm terrified of now.
I'm happy I'm healthy. I'm happy I don't have chest pain. If I'm being honest, though, there's 5% of me that wishes it had been a real heart attack, that I had really been ill, that people would show their sympathy for me instead of passing me on the street, like just another guy they don't really care about.
It feels awful and snobby to say, especially if people read this who have heart conditions themselves, or in their families. And of course it's easy to say this as I'm healthy. But everything I wrote here is true. I keep thinking about the girl who was paralyzed in a snowboard accident and now says it's the best thing that's ever happened to her. How does life shake us up? Hopefully exactly in the way each of us need.
The pain subsided, like it always does. I did go to the doctor. I had a stress test, an echocardiogram. Nothing too weird came up. The doctor basically told me everything was fine.
I was happy, of course. When you actually have a health condition or a health scare, it's awful. There's nothing like being healthy.
But there was a part of me that was a little disappointed.
Because I knew if I had a condition that caused me to spend some days in the hospital, I'd be noticed. People would come bringing gifts, with tears in their eyes. Teddy bears. Maybe some long-lost crush would walk through the door. I'd get attention without having to lift a finger.
So much of my life I spend trying to get attention. I hide it, but nothing makes me happier than people actively acknowledging that I exist. It's a correction to all the "you're quiet" bullshit I used to get in high school and that I'm terrified of now.
I'm happy I'm healthy. I'm happy I don't have chest pain. If I'm being honest, though, there's 5% of me that wishes it had been a real heart attack, that I had really been ill, that people would show their sympathy for me instead of passing me on the street, like just another guy they don't really care about.
It feels awful and snobby to say, especially if people read this who have heart conditions themselves, or in their families. And of course it's easy to say this as I'm healthy. But everything I wrote here is true. I keep thinking about the girl who was paralyzed in a snowboard accident and now says it's the best thing that's ever happened to her. How does life shake us up? Hopefully exactly in the way each of us need.
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