I had a stressful night with the kids. It didn't have to be. They weren't listening to me and they were going crazy way past their bedtime and I didn't know what to do to get them to calm the fuck down, and that stressed me out and made me sulky. This isn't a parenting column, it's a dieting column, but what I'm speculating, now that the worst is behind me and I'm starting to feel like a bad dad, is that the dieting is making me cranky. Just in small ways, but noticeable if those feelings pile up. Maybe I could've been more patient if I had satiated myself with a dozen soft-baked chocolate chip cookies.
I won't know that for a while. I want to get down to "normal weight" according to the BMI. I know that's not going to happen till, like, Christmas. I'm being patient, taking it one day at a time. But once I'm at my goal weight (199.9 pounds), I'll bump up my calorie intake to maintenance, which will afford more room for a treat at the end of the night. It'll be like those old Snickers commercials! Picture me as Mr. T. with my kids, yelling and pointing my finger in a threatening way, then taking a bite of a chocolate bar, and immediately calming down. That'll be nice.
I'm gonna run these nightly things for 100 nights straight, and then we'll reassess whether I feel comfortable trusting the process without the writing. I'm not worrying about that now. I'm only worrying about Day 29.
And re: Day 29, I'm not worried about what I ate. That was fine. I don't eat when I'm stressed. What I'm wondering, though, is whether I'd avoid stress if I ate.
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