March 25, 2005, 4:09 PM
In the article, as far as I could tell, the non-teen author outlines how "bad" teens behave today, and poses a question as to whom society should blame for this unruly behavior. There was an abundance of stereotyping and generalizing involved, as there usually is with this kind of thing. I'm usually quick to dismiss this shit, and maybe I should have. Still, something about the article also spoke to some hidden truth deep within me. Maybe something that I have been afraid to articulate, out of a fear of being too rash or being perceived as too judgmental. I'm talking about substances. Substance use and abuse. Not expecting an adult writing for a failing suburbanite-cum-urbanite bullshit magazine to be fair about any of this, but the question remains re: alcohol: Are they right? Are teens today that bad?
Sitting here, in the family room on a cool spring afternoon, I'm reflecting on my life over the past few years. All the way back at the beginning of my freshman year of high school, almost every one of my friends—with a few random exceptions whom I probably shouldn't name on a public blog, and were maybe at the end of the day more defined as "acquaintances I got to know due to happenstance and a randomly-assigned lunch period" than "friends"—were against alcohol and drugs. I mean, it just wasn't really a thing back then. Even I knew in the moment, even at that age, that eighth grade was probably too young to start experimenting with drug and booze and all that. I knew it would come soon enough, but still, the reality of it was, at least compared to now, that nobody was lying to their parents about what they were actually doing that night, because there was no need to. It just wasn't happening. And thus, we weren't yet in a position where Mom and Dad were constantly and intensely questioning your every move, if even you were really just taking the time to go for an innocent walk to clear the head.
Now look at us. Look at me. Already, not even three weeks after I had my first legitimate drinking experience, and I'm already getting that sinking feeling that the general expectations of the night, mine and my friends', is that we aren't going to have a good time unless somebody has the forethought to somehow purchase booze. Every single night turns into a chorus of "I'm gonna get soooo wasted!" I add my voice to the caterwaul.
Parents don't trust kids anymore... well, I'll say that mine don't trust me, anyway. Example: there was an incident recently, covered by this very Xanga, in which my friends (and members of the band we're currently trying to get together, temporarily called "T.H.E.," with Joe G. and Andrew on guitars, and Matt on bass, yours truly on drums... actually, maybe this isn't the right time for that) were caught by their respective parents for drinking, for lying, all that good stuff. I wouldn't even consider myself part of the tomfoolery—I mean, I was there, but I coincidentally was not partaking that night, maybe only because I got there too late. But of course, now my parents know about it, so I'm "not allowed to be in that band anymore," which is basically code for "we know what y'all are up to, so cut it the fuck out." It feels bad, man. It feels weird. I don't like it, regardless of the bad luck that got me here.
Basically, I'm just sick of all this shit. Already. I'm still a sophomore in high school and I'm already sick of it, which sounds preposterous, but I'm just starting to realize that I can't take a lifetime of feeling this tired, physically and emotionally.
Remember when Friday nights meant chilling with some friends, maybe catching a movie, or saying that we were going to Burholme Mini-Golf and actually go mini-golfing? Moments like this make me miss those days. Seems more innocent in a way that I cherish, and in a way that I fear will never be attainable again.
There are maybe accusations that my Xanga and my friends' Xangas are "exposing the real teen lifestyles to our parents," and maybe that's true, especially if our parents are already being pumped full of fear by some losers in a magazine. But what I'm proposing now is: maybe it's not such a bad thing. Maybe this will lessen alcohol's gradually tightening grip on us. Maybe the truth will set us free.
Who's with me? I'm not asking to be a leader in this movement. I am but a humble scribe, and I'm wondering now whether I'm scribbling down the words of anyone else, of if it's just me. I just know that I am starting to have strong feelings about this, and I no longer really care whether people call me names, either in person or in the comment section of this Xanga. This is my truth, as ugly and as possibly premature as it is.
And look, I realize all this goes completely against what I said on my previous Xanga, where I was spouting beliefs about smoking and drinking being okay in every single case no matter what. Things change, of course. That's what I'm here, documenting, as a teenager—the change. It's coming at us hard and fast. Here's where I stand now in terms of my own change: I'm tired of drinking, and tired of the lying, and tired of being someone who I don't actually want to be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Comments
anngi55: whoa... joe k***.... is alive! wooohoooo!
Smiles1288: whoa... what ann said
JFingers88: Thankfully, you have finally seen the light.
CoC***18: HEll Yeah joe k*** hell yea
Stoner311: WHOA!! Joe K***'s name is just like Ryan C***'s name, only with a K. Interesting proposal, young Joseph. Although I personally have nothing against people smoking/drinking, cause I still believe they're nice people, regardless as to what they do on weekends, parents who are overly-suspicious can be a real pain. My thoughts: Smoking/drinking should be a personal decision you make, but I choose not to.
Anonymous: Hahahahahahaha.... republicans have a phrase for a change of heart like this: FLIP-FLOPPER!!!!!!!!.... soo once again im ahead of the times in my philosophy cause thats what ive been sayin the WHOLE damn time.... and NOONE EVER listens to mike cause you know hes never ever right about stuff.... o well sucks for your band———–>actually dont really care about them but sucks for YOU that your band got caught
Death to the system....
Anonymous: yay for joe! more power to u! lol
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