Blame My Ex, Rachel C.

If Phoebe Bridgers poses the question: "How long will it be cute? / All this crying in my room?" ("Nothing New" by Taylor Swift ft. Phoebe Bridgers), Jordan Miller answers "Not long, bitch. Try being a monster instead" with the entirety of the Blame My Ex album. At the risk of being once again accused of girl-on-girl crime, I'd like to state that the wading-through-the-wreckage theme of the album feels trite. The "I'm-so-over-it" girl is tired and old and fake. To me, saying sorry I was an asshole to you because someone else was an asshole to me is not fair, valid, or cool. 

And yet. Do these small hurts not collect and affect us regardless of whether or not we want to be affected? How should we hold ourselves up when someone else has broken us down? Must it look appealing? Admirable? Must we martyr ourselves for the comfort of those around us? Do we owe others a peaceful and gracious version of ourselves at all times, even or especially when we are hurting and cannot decide whether to sit openly oozing our pain or hide behind more overtly, undeniably painful outlets? No. Everyone gets to be shameless, shitty, and sad sometimes. So perhaps the dark circled, cigarette-stained, spit-loving, hurting versions can be loved and tolerated as they heal. 

This album could be a musical representation of a Gen Z Sex & the City, signified by the track "Me & Me." There is room for the raw, heartbroken person, the fun-loving party person, the person prioritizing themselves, and the vulnerable yet optimistic-in-love person who has been to each of these places before and yet cautiously returns. The Beaches tell us, we can all be each version at one time or another, or we can each be all versions at once. 

While reticent to review an album from the TikTok Top 40 of it all, I do have to say it was overall a fun listen. It was an odd relief listening to an indie-rock/pop album that didn't have Jack Antonoff's paws all over it.

I really enjoyed quite a few tracks, starting with the ones I could pair closely with other artists/songs I know. Like "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Paranoid." When the tempo slows and swells that easily, it's hard not to bop along. "Edge of the World" is the follow-up to Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl." It also reminded me of Carly Rae Jepsen's "Run Away with Me."

Strangely this whole album reminded me of an internet poem with a final stanza that reads “No one is watching. / So why does it have to be beautiful? / You, in pain, are no closer to god than / You in the drive thru or / You, checking your email or / You, holding your own hand. (Ryan Orme/Elle Emerson?)