Prompt: "A song that has another artist's name in the title"
Selected by Joe
"Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken"
Camera Obscura
Let's Get Out of This Country, 2006
I don't think I've ever felt any emotion that I could realistically label as "heartbreak." I don't know what that says about me that this is probably true. First possibility is that you can't break something that's already dead. Second possibility is that I've broken hearts as a defense mechanism against mine breaking. Third possibility is that I live a privileged life and have been protected from heartbreak by the environment I grew up in. Fourth possibility is that downplay every negative emotion I've ever felt as "not that bad" even if it's not healthy to do so. Fifth possibility is that I'm just incredibly lucky. It's probably some combination of those five possibilities. And sometimes I feel like—
A three-hundred-and-fifty-pound gorilla smash through the wall and crushes me to death. He turns to the camera: "No one wants you to go down that path in this blog post. Spare the poor audience that emo shlock on this Tuesday morning, please. Try again."
Ahem. But I'm supposed to just write a blog post while a three-hundred-and-fifty-pound gorilla stares at me menacingly in the corner like that?
"Yes."
Okay, I'll, uh, give it a shot. Alright, so, the, uh, the band. Camera Obscura. Not sure their deal. I only really know this one album. But it's a great album. It's so great, relistening to it today, that I'm not really sure why I haven't explored any of their other tunes. How am I doing so far? The gorilla is just staring, he's not answering. I'll just keep going and if he crushes me to death again I'll know I messed up.
The song. I've known this album and this song since about 2013. I recall listening to it on the 18 bus from Broad/Olney to Fox Chase, around the time I was working at 8th and Race but before we bought a house in Port Richmond. It's funny how you remember the first time and place you hear certain songs, but all the details you remember are so fucking mundane, like—
"Keep it moving."
What? I can't talk about listening to Camera Obscura on the bus?
"This is boring as shit. Why does it matter the fucking bus route you listened to an album on almost a decade ago? Does this have a point? Or are you just running your mouth?"
Fine, jesus fucking christ. Far be it from me to bore the monkey in the corner.
"Gorilla."
There's a difference?
The three-hundred-and-fifty-pound gorilla crushes me to death.
I straighten my tie. The Lloyd in question. This is Lloyd Cole of Lloyd Cole and the Commotions. This was a British rock group from the '80s. Lloyd Cole wrote a song called "Are You Ready to Be Heartbroken?" Thus, Camera Obscura's song is a "response song," in that it is responding to the question. "Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken." You see how it works.
This was recent news to me, by the way. I didn't know it was a response song. I just thought Lloyd was a generic man, a stand-in for anyone, a character in a song in the same way "Angie" or "Cecilia" could be anyone. The more you know. I had never listened to "Are You Ready to Be Heartbroken?" until today. Is it good? Sure. Will I remember how it goes by the time these words are published? Most assuredly not. But I'll remember the Camera Obscura song forever.
"We're running out of time," says the gorilla as he cracks his knuckles.
But wait! We usually do this thing where I try to tie the song and the prompt and the conceit all together in some lame-ass emo way! I usually write way more on here anyway. C'mon. Give me a chance.
"Better make it quick, or you're gonna get squished."
Okay, so, the, uh, the.... um... Right, the protagonist of the song, possibly band frontwoman Tracyanne Campbell, she's saying she's ready to be heartbroken. And I was trying to understand what that means. I can't talk about myself, says the gorilla, but let's speculate what it means for her. Okay?
"Doesn't sound very enticing. I don't think anyone is even still reading this."
I think she means that she's being courageous. Think about it. Heartbreak happens in everything romantic relationship you're ever in except one. The odds are stacked against you. Sometimes you might even enter a relationship expecting to have your heart broken. And yet you do it anyway, because there's that small sliver of a chance that this time is the one time when you're heart will be spared. But that takes courage. And this is our protagonist's way of exclaiming her bravery to the world—I'm ready, I don't care if I'm gonna be heartbroken, it's worth the shot, I'm ready to be heartbroken on the off chance that I won't.
I am crushed to death by a three-hundred-and-fifty-pound gorilla.
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