One of my running lists that I have on my notepad app is "Top Five Worst Foods." The originally intention, I guess, was the eventually figure out five foods in this world that I despise, and then rank them.
The idea of "foods I hate" is usually on my mind around this time of year, since in my youth, Christmas Eve always marked the worst night of the year in terms of dinner traditions. Here's what was usually served at my grandparents' Christmas Eve party in Lawncrest: baked ham, baked macaroni and cheese, pineapple stuffing, cold shrimp cocktail. I hated all of it, and usually packed my own PB&J for the occasion.
What's funny now is that I would enjoy most of those foods if I ate them on Christmas Eve 2022. What can I say? Palates change as you get older. Shrimp cocktail is a fucking amazing treat; pineapple stuffing suffers next to the plain Stove Top variety stuffing but is still tasty; baked macaroni and cheese is delicious when, I'm really sorry to say, Grandmom isn't around anymore to burn the shit out of it (R.I.P.); baked ham is... I'll say tolerable, at best, but far away from inedible.
But there's gotta be some foods out there I still hate at the age of 34, right? I don't know. I mean, I've had this list open on my phone for a couple years now, and I still only have three foods on there. Baked ham of course makes an appearance, but as I just said, I think I'd be lying if I said I still loathed it as much as I did back in the day. Creamed chip beef, a.k.a. "shit on a shingle," is on the list. I haven't been near this meal in twenty years, and based on pictures I see online, I'd estimate that there's an 80% chance that I would enjoy it if I ate it tomorrow.
What's funny now is that I would enjoy most of those foods if I ate them on Christmas Eve 2022. What can I say? Palates change as you get older. Shrimp cocktail is a fucking amazing treat; pineapple stuffing suffers next to the plain Stove Top variety stuffing but is still tasty; baked macaroni and cheese is delicious when, I'm really sorry to say, Grandmom isn't around anymore to burn the shit out of it (R.I.P.); baked ham is... I'll say tolerable, at best, but far away from inedible.
But there's gotta be some foods out there I still hate at the age of 34, right? I don't know. I mean, I've had this list open on my phone for a couple years now, and I still only have three foods on there. Baked ham of course makes an appearance, but as I just said, I think I'd be lying if I said I still loathed it as much as I did back in the day. Creamed chip beef, a.k.a. "shit on a shingle," is on the list. I haven't been near this meal in twenty years, and based on pictures I see online, I'd estimate that there's an 80% chance that I would enjoy it if I ate it tomorrow.
The only food I can honestly say that I sincerely don't like at this point is borscht. True, it's been a while since I tried it out, back at the retirement home, but I know for certain that if a bowl of cold beet soup ended up in front of me right now, I'd gag. Really, that goes for anything beet related. I guess I could stomach beet shavings on a salad if they were lightly sprinkled, but beyond that, no, I really do dislike the flavor of beets.
Other than that, I'm honestly down for anything. I'm sure there are some weird flavors out there—remember durian fruit?—but in terms of food that I would come into contact with under normal circumstances, I'm a certified member of the Non-Picky Eaters Club now.
I mean, I guess I should include Pizza Hut pizza on the list now? It used to be one of my favorite foods ever, but after a few bad experiences, I can't even look at it anymore. For real, the last two times I've eaten Pizza Hut deep dish pizza and breadsticks, I've violently thrown up and then had excruciating diarrhea in quick succession. And these two most recent incidents happened about four years apart, mind you! From two different Pizza Huts! This isn't coincidence!!
But that's veering off into a completely different blog post. How did we go from talking about Christmas Eve to talking about diarrhea? I guess that's the magic of the holidays.
Other than that, I'm honestly down for anything. I'm sure there are some weird flavors out there—remember durian fruit?—but in terms of food that I would come into contact with under normal circumstances, I'm a certified member of the Non-Picky Eaters Club now.
I mean, I guess I should include Pizza Hut pizza on the list now? It used to be one of my favorite foods ever, but after a few bad experiences, I can't even look at it anymore. For real, the last two times I've eaten Pizza Hut deep dish pizza and breadsticks, I've violently thrown up and then had excruciating diarrhea in quick succession. And these two most recent incidents happened about four years apart, mind you! From two different Pizza Huts! This isn't coincidence!!
But that's veering off into a completely different blog post. How did we go from talking about Christmas Eve to talking about diarrhea? I guess that's the magic of the holidays.
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