Advent Calendar: December 21st

I find it astonishing that there has never been a successful sequel to A Christmas Carol. Maybe that's just my pessimism talking, that there is nothing on earth these days so pure as to not warrant a craven cash-in opportunity.

I'm not saying that a sequel has never existed. I'm just saying that there hasn't been one to enter the pop culture consciousness. Adaptations, certainly, duh. But if you asked a normal person on the street to talk about a sequel to the story of Scrooge, then they'd be at a loss.

There are actually some funny sounding sequels out there, in plenty of different forms (books, TV specials, and plays especially). One proposes that Tiny Tim grows up to solve murder mysteries. Another one is based on the theory that Tiny Tim was sick with a zombie infection, and because he lives, he starts the apocalypse. A TV parody tells the story of Scrooge getting taken advantage of by the townspeople for his excessive kindness. One is a banking drama featuring Scrooge and his new partner, Bob Cratchit. There's one where Scrooge stands trial and the ghosts determine whether he's changed enough to warrant entrance into heaven.

I wouldn't mind watching any of these (either they are gonna be good, or so-bad-it's-good, right?), but my point is that if you need a Mental Floss list to tell you about the sequels out there, then those sequels probably aren't entering the Christmas Canon as the definitive take on the sequel.

What would the "definitive sequel to A Christmas Carol" look like? I mean, in my mind, it's pretty simple, so simple that I'm sincerely shocked that it doesn't exist already. In my hypothetical sequel, we pick up with Scrooge around Easter. He's given away a lot of his fortune but he's not necessarily poor. His new partnership with Cratchit is working out well, but without the unscrupulous business practices, the company is bringing in a lot less money. Maybe a pipe breaks, or maybe Tiny Tim needs another surgery. Point being, money is tight, and Scrooge starts getting tempted to slip back into his old ways. The main thesis starts to emerge that being a good person is HARD, even when you have the three ghosts still haunting your dreams. The film would answer the question: you can become good, but how can you stay good?

So if you have a few spare million dollars, send 'em my way, and we can get this project off the ground. Maybe we can even rope in the Muppets again. Wait, what's that? Online blog Inside the Magic recently posted an article about a potential Muppet Christmas Carol sequel? Holy shit, man, wow, that would be really cool, if only this "news" article wasn't the most vacuous, empty, pointless anti-speculatory drivel that has ever been posted on the internet. BAH HUMBUG!!!