Yearlong Song Challenge, Day 132: Nate

Prompt: "A song about breaking the rules"

Selected by Nate

"Joker Lips"

MJ Lenderman

Manning Fireworks, 2024

Can I write about every song off of Manning Fireworks individually before I review it on this blog later this fall? Reader, I'm not going to try, but I'm not going to steer away from it either. They've made a Phoebe Bridgers for boys and his name is MJ Lenderman.

Anyway, here's the rule-breaking part of the song:

"Kahlua shooter / DUI scooter"

I don't care to once again revisit DUI and DUI-adjacent behavior, but I will share an unethical life hack that I learned from my lawyer father. Now, this does not represent actual legal advice, but if the cops pull you over, just tell 'em the Ol' Nate Dogg said it was cool.

So, here's the deal: if you're looking to, say, pull a U-turn in a no-U-turn zone or cut through a parking lot to get past a traffic light, what you do is you pick a parking lot that has a business in it. Doesn't matter what business it is, just something where you can purchase goods and services. Drive into that parking lot—and pay attention, this is the most important part—say out loud that you are thinking about paying for goods and services provided by that business. Once you've done that—and again, you really have to say this part out loud—say you've changed your mind, then execute the illegal move in question. Hey presto: you're not breaking the law, you're changing your mind! Here are some true life examples I have used to go from moving South to moving North, or to bypassing a big-ass intersection.

• "Oh, Wendy's would be lovely right now... ah, I'd better not, I just had a donut a few hours ago."
• "You know, I think I'd like some help with my taxes this year... oh, shoot, this H&R Block isn't open at 10:30 PM on a Tuesday in July."
• "I could go for a home equity loan! Wait a minute, 3.9 APR? That's highway robbery, I'd better cut all these people off and get away fast I'm so mad."

Simple as that! You didn't intend to commit a traffic violation, you just changed your mind re: commerce. Use this tip all the time, you have my blessing.