Ultimately, I'd describe A Very Demi Holiday Special as disappointing, if only because it feels like a missed opportunity.
Here's the thing. We all know that Demi Lovato is actually a Lizard Person. She's on record indicating that she believes that Lizard People are real and that they rule the world, and so it's pretty simple to connect the dots. Demi Lovato is herself a Lizard Person. And when I say that this Christmas special is "a missed opportunity," what I'm saying is that this Christmas special felt like the PERFECT opportunity for Lizard Person Demi Lovato to reveal her true form to the world. But it never happened.
Think about what might've happened had she chosen this as her coming out party. There are billions—literally billions—of people watching this Roku-exclusive holiday-themed TV special, streaming on any TV with Roku capabilities, and so imagine the mayhem that would have ensued had Lizard Person Demi Lovato removed her human suit in front of tens of billions of eyeballs glued to the screen and stepped into the spotlight, finally, in her true Lizard Person form. It's possible that A Very Demi Holiday Special would be known as the TV program that brought about world peace.
Alas, we are instead treated to Lizard Person Demi Lovato pretending to be Human Person Demi Lovato baking a cake for Paris Hilton's dog.
Oh sure, it was fun to see Lizard Person Demi Lovato dress up like Trinity from The Matrix and sing non-holiday songs (like Record Club single "Sorry Not Sorry") in front of the non-denominational holiday tree. We had a blast giggling with Lizard Person Demi Lovato as she attempts to do ballet with go-to holiday drag queen Trixie Mattel. It's even kinda nice to see Lizard Person Demi Lovato perform the cloying act of "surprising" an eleven-year-old cancer patient by gifting her a guitar and allowing the cancer child to bask in the glow of Demi Lovato in her Human Form.
Lizard Person Demi Lovato really is an endearing lizard person. I wouldn't say that she is able to perform as a Human who has center-stage charisma, but she is able to pull off Human with an affable sidekick energy. E.g. when Tiffany Haddish is just up there with riffing like a motherfucker, like only Tiffany Haddish can, it's not like Lizard Person Demi Lovato is even attempting to match her riffing. What she does really well is make it clear that she is really enjoying herself with her friend, and genuinely laughing and having a good time. Lizard Person Demi Lovato ironically seems like the most sincere and genuine person in the room at any given time (ironic, given the fact that she is actually a Lizard Person).
I found it frustrating, however, that while Lizard Person Demi Lovato did not out and out reveal her true Lizard Person identity, she instead chose to have her TV special glibly reference "otherworldly creatures" without actually mentioning the word "lizard" or the phrase "Lizard Person" even once. Note that the narrative framework involves Lizard Person Demi Lovato (in cartoon human form) explaining what the holidays truly mean to an green alien who visits earth and wants to learn. I don't understand why it was an alien. Why not just make the alien a Lizard Person? Why not send Hailey Bieber (I do not know who this is) a Lizard Person nutcracker as a gift instead of an alien nutcracker? What, are you ashamed of your true Lizard Person identity, Lizard Person Demi Lovato?!
At one point, Lizard Person Demi Lovato is joined on stage by her friend, JoJo (I would not have known who this person is either, were it not for Record Club). JoJo was wildly attractive up there, just bonkers hot, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that her attractiveness was a distraction designed to obscure the truth from an otherwise observant viewer like myself. For the brief moment I was able to control any untoward urges triggered by JoJo, I noticed something....... on JoJo's left arm......... what is that....... could it be....... a tattoo of...... a lizard?!?!?!?!
Oh my fucking god. Is JoJo a Lizard Person too?! Is that why A Very Demi Holiday Special was very clear to describe Lizard Person Demi Lovato and Possibly Not Human Person JoJo as "very close friends"?!
The truth is out there, friends. Don't let TV Christmas specials like this distract you!! Lizard People are real, and they are singing sluggish versions of "Jingle Bell Rock" on your Roku televisions as we speak!!!!!!!
GRADE: 2.5 pukes out of 5
Think about what might've happened had she chosen this as her coming out party. There are billions—literally billions—of people watching this Roku-exclusive holiday-themed TV special, streaming on any TV with Roku capabilities, and so imagine the mayhem that would have ensued had Lizard Person Demi Lovato removed her human suit in front of tens of billions of eyeballs glued to the screen and stepped into the spotlight, finally, in her true Lizard Person form. It's possible that A Very Demi Holiday Special would be known as the TV program that brought about world peace.
Alas, we are instead treated to Lizard Person Demi Lovato pretending to be Human Person Demi Lovato baking a cake for Paris Hilton's dog.
Oh sure, it was fun to see Lizard Person Demi Lovato dress up like Trinity from The Matrix and sing non-holiday songs (like Record Club single "Sorry Not Sorry") in front of the non-denominational holiday tree. We had a blast giggling with Lizard Person Demi Lovato as she attempts to do ballet with go-to holiday drag queen Trixie Mattel. It's even kinda nice to see Lizard Person Demi Lovato perform the cloying act of "surprising" an eleven-year-old cancer patient by gifting her a guitar and allowing the cancer child to bask in the glow of Demi Lovato in her Human Form.
Lizard Person Demi Lovato really is an endearing lizard person. I wouldn't say that she is able to perform as a Human who has center-stage charisma, but she is able to pull off Human with an affable sidekick energy. E.g. when Tiffany Haddish is just up there with riffing like a motherfucker, like only Tiffany Haddish can, it's not like Lizard Person Demi Lovato is even attempting to match her riffing. What she does really well is make it clear that she is really enjoying herself with her friend, and genuinely laughing and having a good time. Lizard Person Demi Lovato ironically seems like the most sincere and genuine person in the room at any given time (ironic, given the fact that she is actually a Lizard Person).
I found it frustrating, however, that while Lizard Person Demi Lovato did not out and out reveal her true Lizard Person identity, she instead chose to have her TV special glibly reference "otherworldly creatures" without actually mentioning the word "lizard" or the phrase "Lizard Person" even once. Note that the narrative framework involves Lizard Person Demi Lovato (in cartoon human form) explaining what the holidays truly mean to an green alien who visits earth and wants to learn. I don't understand why it was an alien. Why not just make the alien a Lizard Person? Why not send Hailey Bieber (I do not know who this is) a Lizard Person nutcracker as a gift instead of an alien nutcracker? What, are you ashamed of your true Lizard Person identity, Lizard Person Demi Lovato?!
At one point, Lizard Person Demi Lovato is joined on stage by her friend, JoJo (I would not have known who this person is either, were it not for Record Club). JoJo was wildly attractive up there, just bonkers hot, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that her attractiveness was a distraction designed to obscure the truth from an otherwise observant viewer like myself. For the brief moment I was able to control any untoward urges triggered by JoJo, I noticed something....... on JoJo's left arm......... what is that....... could it be....... a tattoo of...... a lizard?!?!?!?!
Oh my fucking god. Is JoJo a Lizard Person too?! Is that why A Very Demi Holiday Special was very clear to describe Lizard Person Demi Lovato and Possibly Not Human Person JoJo as "very close friends"?!
The truth is out there, friends. Don't let TV Christmas specials like this distract you!! Lizard People are real, and they are singing sluggish versions of "Jingle Bell Rock" on your Roku televisions as we speak!!!!!!!
GRADE: 2.5 pukes out of 5
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