Thank fucking GOD something fucking NEW with these stupid fucking Christmas albums!!!!!!!!!1
Here's a game I'm terrible at: Name the Instrument That's Playing Right Now in This Song. Truly the worst. I grew up playing the drums. That takes a certain mammalian brute force, and very little finesse. Act like a monkey with a stick and bash big barrels, hopefully in the correct tempo. That's all. I don't really know anything else. I can tell when something interesting is happening, I guess, but I wouldn't be able to tell you off the top of my head what that interesting thing is.
At a certain point in my first go-through of Christmas on the Mountain, I started to wonder, "Wait, what fucking instrument is Craig Duncan playing right now?" It sounds kinda like a harp, but with more notes played more tightly together. Other than that, no idea. Luckily, Craig Duncan seems to be a music nerd, and not only named the featured instrument on his website, but has a bunch of videos posted on YouTube of him playing said instrument. It's a mountain lap dulcimer, a.k.a. an Appalachian dulcimer.
If it wasn't for this wacky, relatively unknown instrument taking center stage just because Craig Duncan is an eccentric dude, then I guess the thesis of this review would've been something like: Hey, this music is kinda nice, albeit kinda boring. All folky backwoods-country instrumental versions of the songs you already know and love. And some you've never heard of too (like "In the Bleak Midwinter"), but no originals. Pretty good, pretty standard, maybe something you'd hear in a Christmas craft store.
But here's the almighty hook: It's all this, played with THE APPALACHIAN DULCIMER! It's not much, but it's what we're working with here. The dulcimer definitely adds some flair to the proceedings. I want to say that this almost sounds like a Renaissance Faire thing. Maybe some Celtic sounds as well? Let's say that the RMS Titanic would've been playing these songs on the deck if the ship had made it to Christmas 1912 without sinking. I don't know, am I painting a good enough picture for you? You could just listen to it, ya know. Bet you've never heard an Appalachian dulcimer before. At least not on purpose.
At a certain point in my first go-through of Christmas on the Mountain, I started to wonder, "Wait, what fucking instrument is Craig Duncan playing right now?" It sounds kinda like a harp, but with more notes played more tightly together. Other than that, no idea. Luckily, Craig Duncan seems to be a music nerd, and not only named the featured instrument on his website, but has a bunch of videos posted on YouTube of him playing said instrument. It's a mountain lap dulcimer, a.k.a. an Appalachian dulcimer.
If it wasn't for this wacky, relatively unknown instrument taking center stage just because Craig Duncan is an eccentric dude, then I guess the thesis of this review would've been something like: Hey, this music is kinda nice, albeit kinda boring. All folky backwoods-country instrumental versions of the songs you already know and love. And some you've never heard of too (like "In the Bleak Midwinter"), but no originals. Pretty good, pretty standard, maybe something you'd hear in a Christmas craft store.
But here's the almighty hook: It's all this, played with THE APPALACHIAN DULCIMER! It's not much, but it's what we're working with here. The dulcimer definitely adds some flair to the proceedings. I want to say that this almost sounds like a Renaissance Faire thing. Maybe some Celtic sounds as well? Let's say that the RMS Titanic would've been playing these songs on the deck if the ship had made it to Christmas 1912 without sinking. I don't know, am I painting a good enough picture for you? You could just listen to it, ya know. Bet you've never heard an Appalachian dulcimer before. At least not on purpose.
It's whatever, man. I don't think I'm going to be listening to much Craig Duncan in the future, but I could see myself picking a few of these songs out at random and forcing family members to listen to them sprinkled into the Christmas shuffle that will be blasting their ears as they suck back eggnog and hope that the chef (me) doesn't slice his hand open trying to carve the turkey (again). And if at some point in the future, I'm in Manheim, PA, and some overweight beardo dork is playing the Appalachian dulcimer next to a woman with the largest boobs I've ever seen in my entire life, I'll probably remember Craig Duncan and his holiday album. I'd rather that than have to be subjected to whatever vocally-talented pop fuckstar is pressing the meat grinder on the new holiday TikTok album this year.
GRADE: 3 pukes out of 5
No comments:
Post a Comment