The First Time I: Wrote a Random Email to a Stranger

This is The First Time, a column where Zach either 1) writes about the first time he did something specific in his life and talks about any pop culture connections surrounding it, or 2) tries something for the first time ever in 2025 and writes about it—sees a new movie, eats a new food, etc. etc. etc.

When I first pitched this column, Joe suggested I could shamelessly pull from his "Joe's New Summer" column ideas. So here I go, for the first time. 

Apparently Joe wrote a random letter to a stranger who lives on 6th Avenue East in Twin Falls, Idaho. He did this as part of his Summer 2017 project where he did something new every day. I don't have good access to the USPS these days, and Israel Post is well known to be shitty and not an entity to involuntarily deal with. So: an email.

I am writing a random email to a generic email address that I assume exists. And we will see what happens. People get enough spam these days that it's very likely the email will be ignored or unread. But also, who knows? Let's give it a try.

How do we pick a random email address? I'd like to pick someone who is around my age to send an email to. So: cue up the most popular baby names from 1986, and pick one that feels like it's specifically relevant to my age bracket. No names like Michael or Rachel, and no new school names like Peyton or old school names like Silvia. I want a millennial who is on the cusp of 40. Because I'm a man, I will also write to a woman. It's just a little bit more fun.

On to the names:

1. Jessica — Too common.
2. Ashley — I never liked this name.
3. Amanda — Not a bad choice. I also would have never thought this was #3.
4. Jennifer — A decent choice, not overly common seeming.
5. Sarah — No. I've also dated way too many Sarahs in my life.
6. Stephanie — I've always liked this name.
7. Nicole — This name doesn't do it for me.
8. Brittany — Probably not.
9. Heather — I've known a few Heathers in my time, but it's a name that feels distant to me.
10. Elizabeth — Very grandiose.

I think I'm going with Stephanie on this one. Now, for the last name. For the sake of randomness, let's search the 215-224th most common American last names:

215. Banks

216. Meyer

217. Bishop

218: McCoy

219: Howell

220: Alvarez

221: Morrison

222: Hansen

223: Fernandez

224: Garza

I immediately rule out Meyer, because Stephenie Meyer wrote Twilight and it's too obvious. What combo sounds the best? I feel like a Latino last name is less likely to pair with an all-American name like Stephanie. So that leaves Hansen, Morrison, Howell, McCoy, Bishop, Banks. Let's Google all of them!

Apparently Stephanie Hansen is also an author. Apparently Stephanie Bishop is also an author. Apparently Stephanie McCoy is also an author. Apparently Stephanie Howell is a... blogger? Apparently Stephanie Banks is an author and a medium. Apparently Stephanie Morrison is a mom whose TikTok post about a stranger (an older man) who saw her walking with her three kids and said to her "Wow, you're going to have a lot of fun" went viral. Wow, I watched the TikTok, and it actually is really beautiful. 

But it's Stephanie Howell's blogging connection that wins out. Her email address is right there on her website. She's a blogger that focuses on:

Cool cool cool. Someone who is very different from me. Let's do this.

Here is the email I have sent to Stephanie Howell:

Dear Stephanie,

I write for a blog called Puke on Your Birthday (pukeonyourbirthday.blogspot.com). I write a weekly column called "The First Time," where I write about something I did for the first time. One thing I've never done is cold email a stranger for no particular reason. I decided I would do it and write about it here. 

So I pulled up the list of most popular baby names from 1986 (my birth year) and then a random assortment of popular American last names. Stephanie and Howell seemed like a good match. I googled the name Stephanie Howell and you were the first result. So I got to look at your blog, which was fun!

I have no agenda here other than to just write to you and say: hi! I hope you are good and that you are happy and that you are getting what you want from this crazy world. 

I live abroad, and books in English are often hard to come by. So I appreciate reading some of your recommendations. "Same as it Ever Was" by Claire Lombardo really stuck out to me as a recommendation, because these days I definitely need a good cry—the world is great but also can be too much sometimes.

I'm also curious how you've managed to build an online following, because it's my dream to do that (and also to write a book myself), but I really don't know where to start. I like writing poetry and I have a lot I've performed but I also want to gain a wider audience. Not asking for advice from you, but just throwing it out there.

Anyway, thanks so much for listening, and feel free to check out the site! I'll happily send you a link to my blog post about this if you're interested.

Thanks,

Zach

What will Stephanie Howell say? Will she say anything at all? I cannot wait. I love hijinks, so much. I want to do them every day.