The only thing that's ever kept me in check, long-term, was the writing. Everything else fades away. If I force myself to write, I can do it forever. I'm going to write something in this 1 AM space every night for the next 100 nights to hold myself accountable.
You don't have to read this. In fact, it's probably better if you don't. I'm not writing to be a better writer. I'm writing about feeling better about myself, and if I keep writing about it, every day, it'll eventually become true. That's the theory, anyway.
Don't read into the song selection. That's just there to give you something to listen to if you don't feel like reading. It doesn't mean anything (unless it accidentally does).
I woke up for the gym today for the first time in ten days. I couldn't go while Pam was away, and I was aching before that. My theory is that allergies made my joints ache. I don't know if that's true. I'm feeling mostly better today. It was Day 1. My left ankle is still a little tender.
More physical movement, fewer shitty foods. It's easy to say and easier to believe but harder to enact. I did good today. Did everything I've done in the past. It's not hard doing it for one day. I logged all my food. I stayed away from sweets. I worked out at the gym for about an hour (5 AM to 6 AM).
Curveball was getting forced overtime at work, so I didn't get home till 7:15, didn't eat till 7:30. That's a nine-hour gap in between meals. Day 1 is easy, so that gap was easy. A nine-hour gap on Day 15 might have been harder. Fuck work.
At the beginning of the day I was the heaviest I've ever been. Assuming that I lost a couple ounces today and am now no longer my heaviest. This is a good thing. It was a good Day 1. Now onto Day 2.
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