This Is My Blood: Pills Mafia

There's a lot of "starting over" when it comes to moving to a new neighborhood. The most annoying start over with our current move is also the most trivial: where the fuck are we going to get our pizza from now?! When I'm getting home from work and it's finally the weekend and I'm cracking open an ice cold beer (more on Pills Mafia at the bottom of this post), I want a hot, fresh, tasty slice of pizza to pair with it. We used to know where the best pizza was around us, but now we're not around those pizzas. We're on the other side of the planet, more or less. Where can I get a good pie around here?

Since the K***s eat like garbage, we've had pizza twice so far. The first was our first night at the new residence, when we had some classic Rising Sun Pizza delivered. Long-time PoYB readers will recognize this one as one of the best pizzas of all time. Pam has always derided it, but had nothing but good things to say about it last Friday night. My theory on the opinion change: she could never believe that some schmuck corner store pizza joint in the Northeast could have great pizza until she became a Northeaster.

It'll be interesting to see how the other pizzas around Fox Chase hold up in her mind to Rising Sun Pizza, and if she will continue to eat all her unkind words toward Rising Sun Pizza all these years. I hope so! RSP is fucking bangin'!

Tonight, we tried Verree Express, by far the closest pizza parlor geographically to our house (three blocks maybe). I've never had their pizza before, though I have had their wings—Kev brought 100 of them to a small gathering I had in 2014 for a Sunday Night Eagles game against the Giants (man, I really need to delete some of these memories from my brain so I can remember by daughters' social security numbers).

The pizza was fine! About as good as you can expect for a run-of-the-mill establishment on a moderately busy Northeast Philly street corner. The plain slices went perfectly with the German pilsner that we split. Can't ask for much more than that on a Thursday night (I have off Fridays, it's the motherfucking weekend y'all).

Still, when pressed, Pam's Pizza Power Rankings stand at 1) Rising Sun and 2) Verree Express. Over time, we'll get around to trying everything in the area.

Of course, I've already had all the pizza in the area at one point in my life, though none recently. For some, it's been 20 years. But here are the other pizzas coming up soon, and what I remember about each.

Joseph's—Believe it or not, my bachelor party started at Joseph's. It's an old-school family restaurant that sells pitchers of beer with their pies. This is also the place where someone knocked over their big flowerpot all drunk one time and the owner chased us with his car, driving up on the sidewalk and almost murdering Harry in front of the 7 Eleven. The pizza is okay.

Bill's Old London Pizza—They use that brand of cheese that stinks like it's gone bad. I haven't had it in over a decade but I can't imagine it's much better since I have.

Quig's—I think I had this at Jim's house like three years ago, and it wasn't awful, but I remember when I was kid, they used to keep pizza slices in the window for days at a time until they looked like shiny plastic, and it's always made me a little queasy thinking about their food in general.

Big Ben Pizza—They were and possibly still are known as the pizza place in the area that sells those super-large pies, like four feet diameter or whatever. I dunno, we had it a few times growing up because my dad was their mailman and thought he could get a deal. We stopped getting it when my dad realized they were not going to give him a deal.

Chevy's—Just opened a couple years ago, and my parents are big enough fans that they brought it to Port Richmond a few times. It's thin crust like Tacconelli's, which is great in theory, but it's thin enough that it goes cold if you're driving 25 minutes to your son's house after you pick it up. Maybe it'll be better when it only travels five minutes. 

Galaxy Pizza—Set up in the old John's Water Ice (I think it was called John's), and I'll never forgive them for replacing it.

Vincent's—You already know about this travesty.

Vince's—I used to go to Vince's for my birthday every year, when birthdays consisted of eating pizza with family. So fucking good. A little expensive, but we're used to paying good money for great pizza... just please do not refer to Vince's as "center city-style" or whatever the fuck.

AND NOW, A WORD ABOUT THE ACTUAL FUCKING BEER: Alright, this is one of those beers that I picked out at random, and then only found out what the fuck the name was referring to while researched post-consumption. Pam and I assumed it was a pun on something, and sure enough, "Pills Mafia" refers to the hardcore Buffalo Bills fanbase, the Bills Mafia. There's a great article about them on The Ringer from the 2019 season by La Salle University's very own Gonzo. Yes, pizza is involved in this too—a Bills Mafia member is known for cooking pizzas in a filing cabinet. But just read the article. And if you're looking for a good German pils, you can't really go wrong with this one, regardless of how you feel about the Bills.

NOTES

BEER: Pills Mafia

STYLE: German Pilsner

ABV: 4.8%

BREWED BY: Thin Man Brewery

LOCATION: Buffalo, NY

PURCHASED AT: IGA (down to two more IGA beers after this one)

PAIRED WITH: Verree Express pizza (I always forget the second R in "Verree" and I've had this problem my entire life)

GRADE: 3 pukes out of 5

 

BEER COUNT: 466.5