Street Love, Joe

Okay but what I'm supposing here is that AI wouldn't be so bad if we could choose which source material the AI robot machine thingy was stealing from. Right? Like if I had an AI machine that could steal from, say, John Lennon interviews and songs and whatnot, then that would be pretty fun, right? Or, I dunno, what if I was trying to write an album review and using AI and wanted the AI robot to steal from every review that the RC album captain from that week ever wrote? Wouldn't that be more beneficial, like from a purely creative standpoint, than having some fucking soulless ghoul robot steal shit from every boring-ass album review from every third-rate pro-grade min-wage non-blog website out there? It doesn't make sense to me that you'd want to repeat opinions that are out there anyway. It makes more sense to me to use AI to get a sense of how a particular author operates, how they think, in what ways they are pushing linguistic boundaries. That's where we're headed here on Puke on Your Birthday. Unique voices, the distinction of distinct writing styles, the batfuck insanity of the inner mind of the individual who chooses to write on a friend's blog, occasionally anonymously, occasionally in a drunken rage via email at 2:30 AM over former rapper Shaquille O'Neal's zionist views, like, let's get all that in an album review, and if I'm me and I don't write in that style then I need the AI machine to do it for me. Let's get the best scientific minds working on it. I'll provide the blog tags needed to feed the machine. I'll listen to Lloyd's Street Love 20 times in a row and I'll ask the AI machine what it thinks and how it reacts and to please use the voice that I've provided and so far this is what it's given me

oh WOW yeah hmmm i don't think that bernie would like this one, this amount of booty smackin is not up bernie's alley, i'm up here crashing up in here at the bernie ralley with a hot dog costume on like UM ok WHO DID THIS when lloyd is playing. PYOB was right when they mentioned BEDROCK as the perennial anthem of GEN M, you know, the generation that let nicki minaj loose and allowed her to tweet bout her cousin whose testicles are now SWOLLEN because he got the vaccine, i'm vaxxed x7 and will say right now that my testicles are swollen too but thats bc the sexy sweatiness of LLoyd's music makesme so goddamn HORNY tell yr cousin that

but I'm still training it, ya know? You read that paragraph above and you compare to previous RC reviews, and, I dunno, there's probably a few too many typos, like that shit would never make it past the EiC's editing process, he'd try to maintain creative license and unique voice while also, like, make sure that the capitalization is correct on Lloyd's name, shit like that. But I'd like to think that this AI machine is headed in the right direction here. There's very little about Street Love in that review, but I think that that might actually be the point of RC? To express ourselves and our own inner workings, and not, like, feel chained to the pressure of having to make all our Music Opinions known to the handful of readers who will be passing through on a Friday morning. I could tell you about Lloyd being from a tradition of R&B music that I can appreciate (the hook on "BedRock" being formative, the AI paragraph also got that right) but pretty much completely missed during my formative years, only being tangentially exposed to the genre through subwoofers at high school dances that shook the ceiling of the basement cafeteria where I was hiding with the rest of the nerds, and so now any interactions I have with it are more anthropological than anything else, I could tell you all that, and I think I'd be getting my point across, but maybe the issue here is assuming that there's even a point to begin with. That maybe I could take a cue from others and just speak from the heart, write what I'm feeling, make my voice known as it exists in this very microsecond, not look to the past or the future but the hyper-present, whatever internet-addled meme-brained shit is overtaking my thoughts about Street Love, let those be the thoughts, and let those thoughts become the review, or "review," as it is. It's tough for me, which is why I wish the AI machine could actually help me instead of do what ChatGPT might do and spit out the most generic album review of all time and drain an entire Great Lake to do it. Like what if I could type "what are your thoughts on Lloyd's seminal 2005 album Street Love?" and get a review like

srry I can't listen to the PYOB album of da week because i'm too busy getting hype for the CELTICS to drop 140 on the sixers in the season opener next week, but in the meantime i spoke with Joel and he said in between arthroscopic surgeries that he used to booty pop to lloyd back in the day all the time, sippin shirley temples and hitting on MY AUNT, who is attractive duh its in the genes but i don't think of her like that, hes gonna need a PLAYERS PRAYER if he wants to hit that celtics auntie, he'd have to be brave, as brave as lloyd who sings in an angels voice about loving women and having booty poppin sex with women, meanwhile im over here with my brother watching embiid hit on our aunt, someone should do something about this, CUS CRISE

which feels like an improvement on the last one, more to the heart of the matter, how music is important but so are other past times, sports and family and whatnot, and how music at its best can color those other pursuits as opposed to distract from them, note the reference to the Lloyd song "Player's Prayer" which was clearly on the author's mind as a great Philadelphia athlete with unlimited potential (while he's healthy) attempted to live out a Lloyd song with the author's aunt. I think that the ability to write 3000 words about a subject in a humble and thoughtful and detailed way is just as important as the ability to write 30 words about how that subject is passing through your brain at the exact same time you see a Detroiters meme pop up on your Instagram home page. Both are worthy endeavors, here on the blog. I appreciate the balance that we as a group typically achieve. I appreciate all the different viewpoints, and how they all interact and occasionally rub up against each other. It's not "both sides-ism" to want that from the shit that I read on this blog. To listen to people's stories. To hear what they have to say, even if I don't agree with them. I don't particularly love this Lloyd album, in that I think it's well-made but doesn't do enough to distinguish itself song-to-song, like it's all of the same pattern, a silky voice singing beautifully about love and sex and the ways that we twist the two together, it's nice on a small scale but gets tiring quickly, like I can see its value but it's (uh oh) NOT FOR ME, as most R&B albums and artists and music of this ilk typically are, for me. And that's my story, but it's not a particularly compelling one, and not even just because you've heard that story from me before, plenty of times in the last six and a half years, and so I'm seeking help elsewhere, from the AI machine, one that is able to synthesize reviews from friends who don't write how I write, and I want what the AI machine gives me to prove how much I appreciate all the little ways in which my friends distinguish themselves in the written word on this dogfucking blog. But I don't know if the technology will ever be there. If not, we'll always have other dumb, fake blog posts like this, ones that attempt to do AI's work for it anyway.

uhhhhhhhhh 3 bootys poppin, Pop on Your Bootyday, tgif