Life in Cartoon Motion, Joe

Mika gives the game away immediately. In the very first song off of his 2007 debut LP, Life in Cartoon Motion, Mika sets the tone by comparing himself to a pop culture juggernaut. No, not Grace Kelly, despite the song being called "Grace Kelly." He sings that Kelly seems too sad, so instead: "I tried to be a little Freddie." That's interesting to me, that lyric being at the very start of the album, because it acts as a sort of barometer for how you are going to feel about the rest of it. I personally don't really like Freddie. Never have. So as soon as he said that he was striving to be this character that I mostly dislike, then it set the tone. I wondered whether there was going to be anything on this album that I would like. Was it really all going to be like Freddie?

To be clear, when Mika sings about "Freddie," he is clearly referring to Fred Flintstone.

I'm just barely old enough to remember watching The Flintstones on Cartoon Network, back when the Hanna-Barbera shows were that channel's whole thing. Even as a tot, I knew that Fred Flintstone was a louse, an oaf, a terrible husband, a terrible father, good for nothing except maybe using his fat feet to power the family's car. I've never liked the guy. So when I was told by Mika that he was purposefully positioning himself as the Fred Flintstone of mid-aughts bubblegum theater pop, I cringed.

Still, I end the week feeling impressed that my initial skepticism was mostly proved wrong. Life in Cartoon Motion did not ultimately feel like Dino pulling me so hard that I crashed into a tree. Thank goodness.

As it usually goes with this type of bright, shiny, heart-on-sleeve pop, everyone has their own tolerance level when it comes to the cheese. My tolerance level has historically been pretty low, the opposite of Wilma's tolerance for her brutish goon of a husband. But plenty of exceptions abound too! I'll defend something like fun., or later Bleachers, even though it's the corniest shit on earth. Other stuff that is objective less cheesy but still kinda cheesy, like Fred Flintstone singing opera, grinds my fucking gears.

I could see someone hating this album on premise alone. I eventually did succumb to its charms, even though some of it is still a bit too twee for my preferences. For every "Relax, Take It Easy" and its unabashed and satisfying Cutting Crew theft, there's a "Lollipop," with its saccharine kiddie vocals. For every Of-Montreal-via-McCartney "Billy Brown," there's a "Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)," which squanders its rock-solid premise (big girls really are beautiful) by being entirely too slobbery and surprisingly hollow about it. Plus, imagine what Fred Flintstone would say about this song. That misogynistic prick.

Ignore the final song, "Over My Shoulder," at all costs. It's a total Gazoo.

The best I can say about it, vis-à-vis Mika's Fred Flintstone fixation, is that the baggage is eventually discarded. I may hate Fred Flintstone, but that didn't stop me from liking a lot of this extremely Fred Flintstone-esque music. The worst thing I can say about it is that maybe this renders my long-standing dislike of Fred Flintstone as so subjective that it falls apart. I kinda like this, and if this sounds exactly like the corny fucking bullshit that Fred Flintstone was putting out in the 1970s, then why do I hate the original?

Could be that, contextually, Fred Flintstone was a lot more popular in his heyday than Mika ever was, at least here in America. I recognized "Grace Kelly" and "Love Today" of course, because I had a pulse in 2007, but he wasn't popular enough back then for me to have even heard the name "Mika" before, let alone enough to convince me to actively consider his art. Fred Flintstone, on the other hand... he's ubiquitous, and people seem to love the guy, or at least tolerate his craft. It's always boggled my mind.

And of course, I have that knee-jerk reaction to pushing away things that are considered "popular." So when I see anything to do with Fred Flintstone, I usually roll my eyes or just stay away altogether. It was interesting, then, to listen to an album that was so obviously indebted to Fred Flintstone, and yet tolerable because it wasn't literally made by Fred Flintstone. Just goes to show you how fucking subjective this whole charade really is.

GRADE: 3 pukes out of 5

Top Five Worst Freds in Pop Culture

5. Fred Armisen

If I had a $10,000 for every time I laughed at Fred Armisen, I wouldn't be able to afford rent in Portland.

4. Freddy Krueger

Relax, bro, it was just a dream.

3. Fred Durst

Like a tall, cold glass of hot dog-flavored water.

2. Fred Flintstone

The patsy.

1. Freddie Mercury

The true villain.