Song of the Week: "Old Town Road"

"Old Town Road"

Lil Nas X (feat. Billy Ray Cyrus)

Single, though later from his 7 EP

2019

PoYB's Song of the Week is not necessarily always the best song of the week. "Old Town Road" is not the best song. But I'm writing about it today because the idea of "Old Town Road" is absolutely the best. I am a fan of "Old Town Road" for what it represents. I want it to succeed. I want to do my part.

Here are some facts about "Old Town Road," specifically about the song itself. It was less than two minutes long (until the remix). It is allegedly a rap/country hybrid. It samples Nine Inch Nails. It became popular through a video social media app called TikTok (the existence of such an app I'm certainly only aware of because of "Old Town Road"). It was kicked off the country Top 40 chart, basically because Lil Nas X is black. Billy Ray Cyrus, of all fucking people, cosigned it, and called Lil Nas X an "outlaw" in the traditional country music sense. It features the immortal lyric "bull-riding and boobies." And it has been the most popular song in America since early April.

Now, when "Old Town Road" is brought up in conversation, there are exactly three reactions one may have: 1) I think this shit is GREAT; 2) I fucking HATE this bullshit; 3) I have never heard of "Old Town Road" and I don't plan on hearing it. To all you 1s out there, I hear you, and I love you. To all you 2s reading now, let me tell you—you are on the wrong side of history. To all the 3s who have stumbled upon a music blog, I pity the fact that you clearly have no friends.

Here are some reasons why I think this shit is GREAT. Lil Nas X seems genuine, and genuinely funny. He seems like somebody I would love to be friends with. His geniality is comparable to Vinny and Pauly D from Jersey Shore season 1, in that the humor is so effortless and honest and transparent. His coming out of the closet at the height of his power in the most nonchalant way was the best LGBTQ reveal since Mac came out as gay over a $2 scratch-off.

AND on top of all this, he has become a figurative David, having defeated so many Goliaths this summer already. Sheeran couldn't beat him. Bieber couldn't beat him. Malone couldn't beat him. Drake couldn't beat him. Minaj couldn't beat him. Fucking Taylor Swift couldn't beat him, twice! All these venerable A-list megastars are taking swings at this 20-year-old gay "twang-trap" rapper from some fucking suburb of Atlanta, and they KEEP MISSING. It's really a beauty to behold. Lil Nas X is a true underdog. I always root for the underdog.

The craziest thing is about my love for "Old Town Road" is that I can't even speak to the quality of the song itself. It's fine, but it's nothing mind-blowing. It's a novelty song in the same vein as "Macarena." Probably the best thing I can say about it is that it doesn't come close to over-staying its welcome. It's in and out and during its brief stay might put half a smile on your face.

But here's where we stand, right this second. "Old Town Road" has been the #1 song in America for sixteen straight weeks. That ties an all-time record with two other songs—2017's "Despacito" (2.5 pukes out of 5), and the Mariah Carey / Boyz II Men joint, "One Sweet Day" (0.5 pukes out of 5). These are the final Goliaths.

I honestly think "Old Town Road" is going to do it. I really hope it does. By the time you read this, the streams will have already been tallied, so it's not even like I'm writing this out to be like "C'mon, let's all listen and support this song!" (And, like, we can all dream that the two streams the embedded video above on PoYB could in any world help a song stay at #1 nationwide!) I'm just writing about it because this week, of all weeks, it is the most important song in America, beyond being the most popular.

Where will you be when "Old Town Road" beats the record on Monday? Should we all meet at Xfinity Live! and ride the bull?