Prompt: "A song that has a key change"
Selected by Joe
"If I Could Turn Back Time"
Cher
Heart of Stone, 1989
I'm probably not going to be the only one to mention friend and PoYB Contributor Drew A. in their respective Song Challenge write-up today. He has this running bit where, every time he hears a key change, he takes a drink. I assume this only occurs among friends and alcohol; in other words, I presume that he's not, like, standing in line at CVS at 10 AM and hearing "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys and taking a flask out of his pocket because he must drink alcohol during every key change throughout his entire life no matter what. But you never know.
It's been this way since I've known him, which is coming up on fifteen years—ever since he was getting drunk on two beers and doing coordinated dances to Lady Gaga songs, he was also yelling "DRINK!" every time we hear a key change. That time that the non-binge drinkers of the Masque forced him to take an ambulance to the hospital for allegedly drinking too much? I'm 99% positive that this was a direct result of him hearing Beyoncé's "Love on Top" and following the rules accordingly.
This wasn't supposed to be a blog post in which I'm busting Drew's balls. He's a good friend, even though he is almost certainly the Austin Serial Killer. And yes, the choice of Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time" wasn't necessarily because I like the song—it's a good one, but cheesy and not really in my wheelhouse—but more because I wanted a song that would make me hear drunk Drew yelling in my mind when I listen to it. I can not only imagine him yelling "DRINK!" during Cher's abrupt, mid-verse key change, but I can also hear him yell things like "DID YOU KNOW CHER WON AN OSCAR FOR FUCKING MOONSTRUCK?!" and "I CAN'T BELIEVE DIANE WARREN, WHO WROTE THIS SONG, HASN'T WON AN OSCAR AFTER FOURTEEN FUCKING NOMINATIONS I MEAN THE SONGS FUCKING SUCK BUT STILL ACADEMY WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!?!" and so on.
What the point of this blog is actually about is it's an ode to all of the dumb bits in our lives. I love when friends have a stupid thing that they do regularly when we're all hanging out, something that they do so often that it kind of becomes their "thing." That sort of shit always makes me laugh. The key-change bit is what comes to mind immediately because of the prompt, but think of all the other ones.
Our Friend-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-on-the-Blog-or-Else-I'll-Get-a-Frantic-Text-Two-Minutes-After-Publishing-Ordering-Me-to-Take-His-Name-Off-the-Fucking-Blog has a lot of those. Think about the Joker video, or maybe his tendency to always have a better party somewhere else. There used to be one where we would force him to kiss Sara B. on the lips at parties, or maybe force Sara B. to kiss him on the lips, I forget in which direction the pressure was directed. Sara, now there's a friend who is probably cool with having her name mentioned on the blog, even in this embarrassing context. Though who knows, she's going to be a mom soon, maybe she doesn't want her future son/daughter reading on a blog titled Puke on Your Birthday about their mother kissing a young Howard Stern Wannabe at a Woodstock party in 2010. Things change.
What doesn't change are the dumb but funny bits that we've kept going all these years. The key change thing is the dumbest thing ever, like I don't even remember actually ever drinking even once my entire fucking life when I've heard a key change, but it's still a goofy thing that I enjoy hearing my drunk friend holler obnoxiously about, and I think that it's also a great way to stay tethered to the past and to the friends we made long ago and have somehow kept hold of.
P.S. Check out the Key Change Power Hour me and Pam made for Drew for his 30th birthday. The mp3 file still works! You just have to scroll down a little bit to get there, past the ramblings about beer. The whole list of songs are listed (some of which have already been chosen for the Song Challenge over the past 26 days, and many which I'm sure will be chosen today).
How it works is that, like a regular Power Hour, you're taking 61 shots of beer in 61 minutes. However, for the Key Change Power Hour, instead of taking the shot when the song starts, you have to wait until you hear the key change! This creates an interesting challenge, because the key changes are not evenly spaced out throughout the length of the hour. Try it out, next time you do a Power Hour! Ya know, because we're all still doing so many fucking power hours these days, right?!?!
It's been this way since I've known him, which is coming up on fifteen years—ever since he was getting drunk on two beers and doing coordinated dances to Lady Gaga songs, he was also yelling "DRINK!" every time we hear a key change. That time that the non-binge drinkers of the Masque forced him to take an ambulance to the hospital for allegedly drinking too much? I'm 99% positive that this was a direct result of him hearing Beyoncé's "Love on Top" and following the rules accordingly.
This wasn't supposed to be a blog post in which I'm busting Drew's balls. He's a good friend, even though he is almost certainly the Austin Serial Killer. And yes, the choice of Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time" wasn't necessarily because I like the song—it's a good one, but cheesy and not really in my wheelhouse—but more because I wanted a song that would make me hear drunk Drew yelling in my mind when I listen to it. I can not only imagine him yelling "DRINK!" during Cher's abrupt, mid-verse key change, but I can also hear him yell things like "DID YOU KNOW CHER WON AN OSCAR FOR FUCKING MOONSTRUCK?!" and "I CAN'T BELIEVE DIANE WARREN, WHO WROTE THIS SONG, HASN'T WON AN OSCAR AFTER FOURTEEN FUCKING NOMINATIONS I MEAN THE SONGS FUCKING SUCK BUT STILL ACADEMY WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!?!" and so on.
What the point of this blog is actually about is it's an ode to all of the dumb bits in our lives. I love when friends have a stupid thing that they do regularly when we're all hanging out, something that they do so often that it kind of becomes their "thing." That sort of shit always makes me laugh. The key-change bit is what comes to mind immediately because of the prompt, but think of all the other ones.
Our Friend-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-on-the-Blog-or-Else-I'll-Get-a-Frantic-Text-Two-Minutes-After-Publishing-Ordering-Me-to-Take-His-Name-Off-the-Fucking-Blog has a lot of those. Think about the Joker video, or maybe his tendency to always have a better party somewhere else. There used to be one where we would force him to kiss Sara B. on the lips at parties, or maybe force Sara B. to kiss him on the lips, I forget in which direction the pressure was directed. Sara, now there's a friend who is probably cool with having her name mentioned on the blog, even in this embarrassing context. Though who knows, she's going to be a mom soon, maybe she doesn't want her future son/daughter reading on a blog titled Puke on Your Birthday about their mother kissing a young Howard Stern Wannabe at a Woodstock party in 2010. Things change.
What doesn't change are the dumb but funny bits that we've kept going all these years. The key change thing is the dumbest thing ever, like I don't even remember actually ever drinking even once my entire fucking life when I've heard a key change, but it's still a goofy thing that I enjoy hearing my drunk friend holler obnoxiously about, and I think that it's also a great way to stay tethered to the past and to the friends we made long ago and have somehow kept hold of.
P.S. Check out the Key Change Power Hour me and Pam made for Drew for his 30th birthday. The mp3 file still works! You just have to scroll down a little bit to get there, past the ramblings about beer. The whole list of songs are listed (some of which have already been chosen for the Song Challenge over the past 26 days, and many which I'm sure will be chosen today).
How it works is that, like a regular Power Hour, you're taking 61 shots of beer in 61 minutes. However, for the Key Change Power Hour, instead of taking the shot when the song starts, you have to wait until you hear the key change! This creates an interesting challenge, because the key changes are not evenly spaced out throughout the length of the hour. Try it out, next time you do a Power Hour! Ya know, because we're all still doing so many fucking power hours these days, right?!?!
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