Prompt: "A song that, if the cute person sitting next to you on the bus let you borrow their earbuds and hear this song, you'd be like, 'Damn, this person is cool'"
Selected by Nate
"Leash"
Single Mothers
Our Pleasure, 2017
Maybe 10 people sitting around a master bedroom, a bunch of them sitting on the floor around a sugar bowl on an ottoman, no one I recognized besides Colleen and my new friend Brandon. I watched Colleen work the room, hugging the guys and letting her hand linger on their arms, kissing the girls in the room on the mouth, quick little pecks, like she was some kind of European socialite. She threw her arms around one more guy, a red-headed body-builder type, and flashed me a look while she did so, her eyes lighting up and locking me into place again.
"Thank god you're here, Col, this party was getting boring," one of the girls sitting on the floor said.
"Don't worry hun, you know I love to bring the fun."
Colleen reached into her purse and pulled out some small baggies of white powder, tossed them down on the ottoman.
"So," she said to the room "Who's buying tonight?"
The girls giggled and started opening up the baggies, dumping their contents into the sugar bowl. Brandon and the redhead approached Colleen, handed her a few bills, which she took and put into her purse, kissing each of them on the cheek. The red head pulled her closer, whispered something in her ear, then she broke the embrace and starting walking toward me, still facing the boys. As she turned her face toward mine, I saw the smile fall off her face and change into something flat and focused. She threw an arm around my neck and pulled my head down.
"Act like we're together, put your arm around my waist."
I grabbed her, feeling like the room was made of radiators. I could feel blood rushing to my face, to other parts of me as well. If Colleen knew—knew this was the first time I'd ever held a girl like this, let alone done anything else—she didn't show it. She pressed her mouth to my ear.
"Kiss my neck, but listen while you're doing it," she said. "I know this is weird, but I need it to look like we're an item and I need you to listen to me where no one else can hear."
I pressed my lips against her neck, she smelled sweet and foreign, like a flower from a distant planet. I wanted to lose myself there, in the feel of her hair on my face, in the scent of her soft skin, but she whispered steel into my ear.
"The red headed guy is named Michael. He and Brandon just bought four 8 balls of coke, and Michael owes me for another two, $400. Maybe he pays me and there are no problems, maybe he tries to stiff me, maybe he tries something else. They're both fucking idiots but Michael is a junkie. I need to work the room, work the party. Stay close, but let me work and keep an eye on Michael. If he tries to corner me alone anywhere, I want you to step in between. I'm going to kiss you now.”
She pushed my face up, looking into my eyes. "I want you to wait outside, he's not going to try anything here. Remember, stay close, step in if I need you."
She stuck her tongue in my mouth and I felt like I had touched the third rail of existence, like life had not had meaning until now, or at least had a meaning that I could have seen or understood before. She tasted like alcohol, blood, and something metallic I couldn't place. It was my first kiss. She pulled away and looked me in the eyes, mouthed the words "stay close," and pushed me in the chest against the door. I watched her put the smile back on her face, turn back the crowd, raise her hands and say "Let's fucking do this." The room seemed to collapse onto her then, like light being pulled into a black hole. All except the red head, Michael, who was staring at me like he hoped I might turn to ash on the spot. I looked back at him, awash in desire and panic, and turned the room and left, emptying myself back into the noise of the party's main hall.
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