Monday, March 11, 2019

Friends of the Blog

No one blogs anymore. Long-form opinion sharing is dead. A 280-character tweet suffices these days; if your thoughts go on longer than that limit, you can just connect your tweets in a chain. And barely anyone has the attention span for even that. Blogs are dead.

It didn't use to be this way! A decade ago, all the cool kids were blogging. Just check out the right-hand sidebar, under the heading "Friends / Graveyards." At least NINETEEN of my friends were blogging at one point. Most of blogs are long dormant ("Fatter, Older", the exception, keeps chugging away).

The blogs are dead, but I wish it wasn't so. I want these nineteen blogs to restart, to begin posting again. And I will do my part to help!!!!

To get everybody started, I will now write a new blog post for each of the blogs listed on my blogroll (well, okay, the ones that I have even slightest clue what they are or were about). I will write these new entries in the style of each respective main writer, or at least my best approximation of it. Hopefully this will jump-start the blog culture once again!


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Who writes for this blog: It's been so long that I honestly forget
What's the blog about: sports opinions from a non-sports fan

Charlie and the Baseball Factory

After all the quibbling we've done about whether the Phillies should sign Nice Harper or Manuel No-Hustle Manchado this off-season, what most baseball fans have neglected to mention is that there was a third candidate in the mix for a Phillies blockbuster signing. Yes, I'm talking about Charlie Sheen.

Sure, he may just play a convicted-felon-cum-baseball-pitcher in a movie, but it's not like the guy has anything better to do. Knowing Sheen like I do (not at all), I know that this guy is just chilling in the Bahamas, waiting for some rich baseball manager or whatever to travel down there and hand him a big ol' contract. Sheen can put aside the flat surface propped with various lines of coke to the side and sign that bad boy, and get back to his first love. Now I know what you guys are saying—that Sheen isn't actually a baseball player. But why should we judge him for that? This is a man who became famous for a catchphrase "winning," so if anyone can come out to the mound and throw a few strikes at some small-dicked, large mustachioed b-list movie actors, it's this guy. "I just want to do something besides make 90 more episodes of Anger Management" said Sheen. Now that's some TV I can get behind. I don't even need the Comcast Sportsnet cable package to watch it.


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Who writes for this blog: Mandy
What's the blog about: self-reflections and concert reviews

Wreck on the Highway


Whenever I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of some kind of self-destruction, I inevitably find myself thinking about life's greater purpose, and somehow, in some inverse fashion, this calms and soothes me. Why were we put here? Was it just to suffer? Or is it just to live, and then to die, and perhaps make some kind of measurable impact along the way?

It's not easy, grappling with life's heavy questions, but sometimes it's easier than dealing with the mostly frivolous surface-level silliness that's ailing me currently.

First things first, though, I need a drink.

I was sipping on maybe my third beer—cheap, like we used to drink in Northeast Philly—at my favorite bar in the city. Fergie's. Life was getting to me. But then something miraculous happened. All of a sudden, I heard that thundering opening saxophone blast of "Born to Run." The boss, he'll fix what's wrong, always.

From singing "The E Street Shuffle" at Strahle St. block parties to blasting "Thunder Road" out of the family car on trips to the zoo, I was raised in the Church of Bruce. He is my knight in shining armor when I'm feeling low and down and out. He and his sexy bald cohort Clarence can shake me from any funk.

Including this one. I sat there, letting Bruce wash over me, let my favorite song cleanse me, cleanse my soul. There in Fergie's, I felt another consciousness, and I was happy. I can't bury it.


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Who writes for this blog: Kait, I think?
What's the blog about: it's gone now, but if it was what I think it was, the blog featured diary entries from a semester in Ireland

The Best Irish Pizza?

Even though I'm missing home terribly, there is one thing about Ireland that keeps me from being so homesick that it hurts. That little slice of heaven. Apache Pizza. I can't wait till all my friends from La Salle visit and I can show them my favorite part of this amazing country. It's just like Treetops, except the pizza is actually edible. And it's open past 10 PM. I can't tell you how many times I've ended my night—a night full of traditional music at the Crane Bar, oysters at Quays, and shots at Tig Coili—at Apache, eating their trash pizza that's oh so good. Sure, the decor might be a bit racist, but it's tough to judge when you are drunk and starving and in a strange country. My Irish friends and I made a promise that, 20 years from now, we'd all meet back around this same table at this same Apache Pizza, and get a slice, and relive the great semester we've had so far.


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Who writes for this blog: Collegian staff
What's the blog about: leftover material that couldn't fit in the newspaper

Delta Phi Epsilon Completes Campus Art Project


Congratulations to the Delta Phi Epsilon sorority for completing their campus-funded art display. Their work (seen above) will be displayed for the next four semesters outside McShain Hall, at the former location of the creepy Walking Madonna statue.

The final design for the triplicate of sculptures was chosen in a secret vote among all 47 due-paying members of the sorority on La Salle's campus. The winning vote went to Sophomore Tammy Chrissy Lloyd's design, which she described in the submission as "a subversive take on the trials and tribulations of Greek life on campus."

There are currently 71 active chapters of Delta Phi Epsilon, including the Epsilon Zeta chapter at La Salle University, chartered in 1986. It is believed that this art display will be the first of its kind for the sorority, a real win for the La Salle chapter.

When asked about what impact this incredible work of art would have on student life on campus, President Colleen Hanycz declined to comment.

—Lauren M.


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Who writes for this blog: Megan
What's the blog about: life updates and pop culture observations

Top 5 Tuesday: Tea

Things have been going pretty well on all fronts. Elliott is growing up into a handsome young man, and so smart! Yesterday, we caught him trying to read one of the Song of Fire and Ice books. Not yet, little man! Jason and I have been working hard, but also enjoy a lot of time together (see updates in our joint blog, The Yingers, on the sidebar!). But today is Tuesday, so I am here with another Top 5 Tuesday! Top 5 herbal teas. Go!

5. Tazo: Jason bought me a box of this for Christmas, and I've been slowly making my way through it. It's not bad! A little too sweet, especially on those mornings when Elliott is being a little bugger and I need more of a wake up!

4. Celestial: It might be a little higher if it didn't share the same name as one of the worst directors in Masque theater history (babies, do you know what show she directed? Let GrandMoM know in the comments)

3. Tetley: This tea takes me back to freshman year of college and the way I changed in that year.  It reminds me of the time that it took from me hating being at college to me adoring being at La Salle.

2. Bigelow: Jason and I both drink this tea when we are under the weather. Something about it clears the sinuses better than a neti pot ever could!

1. Yorkshire: Oh, A-15. This tea was our calling card. We drank it at every party, danced on the couches in our house, and got us ready to just be crazy the rest of the night.  We also drank it at my wedding as a special treat. Anytime I smell Yorkshire tea, I just have to stop and take a sip.

Well, that's it. Lots of exciting things happening in my life. Thanks to the few readers out there for reading, hope to see you soon!

- I'm peachy.


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Who writes for this blog: Dave
What's the blog about: miscellaneous essays with a slight emphasis on sports

Stop Picking Me Last

It doesn't make any sense at all that every year for Turkey Bowl, the captains pick me last. I'm not laughing. To prove my point, here's a look at my stats for the last few years.

2018: 3 touchdowns on 10 completions, plus a recovered fumble and two sacks
2017: 4 touchdowns on 8 completions, plus I moved the chains at least four times, and blocked countless tackles because my team's offensive line was a JOKE
2016: 2 touchdowns on 14 completions for at least 350 yards, and that's not even including the two interceptions playing on defense. Lamson couldn't do SHIT
2015: 5 touchdowns on 17 completions, and I would've caught more if Jim and Brendan weren't fucking around the whole game, throwing shitty passes

I mean, do I need to go on? I know it's a joke, but I'm taking this very seriously. Do you know how embarrassing it is that Ashley has to see me picked last every year? That fucking Joe K*** gets picked before me? It's not funny. I'm better than this. It makes me look like an asshole.


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Who writes for this blog: Dr. Doug
What's the blog about: life updates, each post featuring a song whose themes reflect those life updates

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Medical school has been going for about four weeks now. It's challenging, but I feel like I've maybe finally found what I'm good at (take that, culinary aspirations!)

Yesterday, during my second Practical of the semester (skills such as: intestine identification) I felt like I had my first "light bulb" moment here at school. My gut told me that, even though this was a tough test, that I could remember the different organs if I could just compare them to Jekyll & Hyde characters!
  • Jekyll/Hyde are the heart and lungs, obviously
  • Emma Carew is the liver
  • John Utterson, the stomach
  • Lord Savage is the lymbic system (oh the joys of learning about that)
  • Sir Danvers, clearly, is the brain!
This got me reflecting upon my years at La Salle.

I remember there was a time when Davey and Greg took me to the diner late one night, and told me about how I would miss my time at my alma mater, when it was said and done. I had so much to look forward to after graduation, that I didn't believe them at the time. I believe them now.

So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road

Peace and Good Things :-)

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Who writes for this blog: Nate
What's the blog about: miscellaneous reviews, observations, and essays, with an emphasis on music

100 Words: Japandroids' "The House That Heaven Built"



Great indie rock can dispel the notion that great indie rock has to be small, or quiet. Truly great indie rock can also be loud; truly great indie rock can get you out of your seat. Indie rock can make you feel like you will live forever. The Japandroids sound like [more popular band that Joe is not familiar with], but without the need for a grand appeal. Japandroids appeal to no one and everyone when they scream into the dark, cold abyss of life. There are days when I forget this song exists. Those are my least favorite days.


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Who writes for this blog: Emily
What's the blog about: life updates and struggles

Sue Me

Early 5:30 AM drives to work give me a lot to think about. It's been a weird winter. I like my coworkers but I wish they would stop calling me "shorty." It's annoying. And to top it all off, I think I'm coming down with a cold. Ugh. It's times like this when I just start YouTubing random movie and theater numbers. Remember when we did Guys and Dolls at La Salle?




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Who writes for this blog: Sam Fran
What's the blog about: reviews for each of the top 100 movies and books of all time

A Good Movie? You Betchya

#84 Fargo directed by Joel and Ethan Coen

Bundled up for winter, just like Bart and the gang


When I was a young child, I was in the Boy Scouts. The cold did not deter us from camping through some long winter nights. I remember my dad telling me that the key was to wear layers. As it got colder, you could add layers, and as the sun came up and started to thaw the campsite, you could take layers off.

All this to say that Fargo is a great winter-weather movie with a lot of layers.

I was familiar with the TV series Fargo first, so I was excited to see that the movie from which it was based was featured on AFI's list. As is sometimes (mostly?) the case with the Coen Brothers, there was a lot of exciting violence and a lot of nuanced humor sprinkled throughout the film.

A QUICK PLOT RUNDOWN: Fargo is the story of a desperate car salesman (William H. Macy) who hires two criminals to fake kidnap his wife, in order to demand a ransom from her father-in-law. The police chief of a small Minnesota town tries to solve the case, and does so with much Midwest geniality.

It should be noted how great Frances McDormand is in this film as the police chief -- her performance was absolutely Oscar-worthy. She just kicks so much ass as a pregnant, happy-go-lucky but skilled detective. Despite the fact that she doesn't get to wring as many laughs out of her performance as, say, the sarcastic Steve Buschemi, she still immediately assumes the position as the "good guy."

In fact, after thinking about how damn good McDormand is, I should say fuck William H. Macy. McDormand plays Minnesotan as sweet, but Macy plays it as somehow both bumbling and slimy, and it doesn't really quite work. But I guess that makes the moment he gets his comeuppance all the better.

There's one scene that encapsulates this movies deranged sense of humor, and is toward the end, when we see one criminal nonchalantly feeding the other criminal's body into the woodchipper. The scene is played, not with the sense of horror that a gruesome murder would typically require, but with a deadpan normality. The criminal simply tries to run, and the police chief just shoots him in the leg, then arrests him. What would have been a crazy shoot-out or chase scene ended with the good guy winning with simple police work.

So Fargo was good. I may have even like it better than the TV show. Maybe.

---

(#83) - Platoon directed by Oliver Stone, which I have on my Blockbuster DVD-By-Mail queue.


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Who writes for this blog: Harry
What's the blog about: to quote— "shits and giggles, more the shits part"

Still New Member

I know it's been ten years, but I really want to get in on this whole blogging thing. It seems fun.

Peace be with you

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Who writes for this blog: Allison
What's the blog about: miscellaneous pop culture observations, life goals, recipes

1001 Days, Take 3

I've been on soup kick recently. Last week at B9B, John, Dave and I watched a weird forgettable 2001 movie called Tortilla Soup, that we are now obsessed with, and that obsession has somehow carried over to actually making soup. So I am here, rebooting my old 101 Things in 1001 Days list, but this time with soups. I am going to try to make each of these soups for me and Stephan over the next 1001 days (I couldn't whittle it down, so what the hell, here's 151 soups). Third time is a charm!

Soups
  1. Aguadito
  2. Ajiaco
  3. Analı kızlı soup
  4. Avgolemono
  5. Avocado soup
  6. Bacon soup
  7. Bak kut teh
  8. Bakso
  9. Barley
  10. Beef noodle soup
  11. Beer soup
  12. Bergen fish soup
  13. Bird's nest soup
  14. Borscht
  15. Bouillabaisse
  16. Bouillon
  17. Bourou-Bourou
  18. Bread soup
  19. Brenebon
  20. Brown veal
  21. Brown Windsor soup
  22. Bun bo Hue
  23. Buridda
  24. Butajiru
  25. Cabbage soup
  26. Caldillo de congrio
  27. Callaloo
  28. Canh chua
  29. Canja de Galinha
  30. Carp soup
  31. Carrot soup
  32. Chestnut bisque
  33. Chicken noodle soup
  34. Chicken vegetable soup
  35. Chupe
  36. Cock-a-leekie
  37. Cold borscht
  38. Consommé
  39. Corn chowder
  40. Crab bisque
  41. Cream of apple soup
  42. Cream of asparagus
  43. Cream of broccoli
  44. Cream of celery
  45. Cream of chicken
  46. Cream of potato
  47. Cream of tomato
  48. Cream of Crab
  49. Cream of mushroom
  50. Crème Ninon
  51. Cucumber soup
  52. Cullen skink
  53. Curry Mee
  54. Dashi
  55. Duck soup
  56. Egg drop soup
  57. Fish soup
  58. Fisherman's Soup
  59. French onion soup
  60. Fruktsoppa
  61. Fufu and Egusi soup
  62. Gazpacho
  63. Goat meat pepper soup
  64. Golden Mushroom
  65. Goulash
  66. Ground nut soup
  67. Gumbo
  68. Harira
  69. Hot and sour soup
  70. Íslensk Kjötsúpa
  71. Kwāti
  72. Laksa
  73. Lagman
  74. Leek soup
  75. Lettuce soup
  76. Lentil soup
  77. Lobster stew
  78. Lobster bisque
  79. Log-log
  80. Lung fung soup
  81. Maccu
  82. Manhattan clam chowder
  83. Maryland crab soup
  84. Matzah ball soup
  85. Melon soup
  86. Menudo
  87. Minestrone
  88. Miso soup
  89. Miyeok guk
  90. Mohinga
  91. Mulligan Stew
  92. Mulligatawny
  93. Nettle soup
  94. New England clam chowder
  95. Okra soup
  96. Oxtail soup
  97. Palm nut soup
  98. Panada
  99. Pasta fagioli
  100. Pea soup
  101. Peanut soup
  102. Philadelphia Pepper Pot
  103. Phở
  104. Pickle soup
  105. Pork blood soup
  106. Pozole
  107. Psarosoupa
  108. Pumpkin
  109. Ramen
  110. Rasam
  111. Rawon
  112. Rumford's Soup
  113. Sambar
  114. Sayur Asem
  115. Scotch Broth
  116. Shark fin soup
  117. Seafood chowder
  118. She-crab soup
  119. Shrimp bisque
  120. Sliced fish soup
  121. Snert
  122. Solyanka
  123. Sop saudara
  124. Sopa de Gato
  125. Sour cherry soup
  126. Sour rye soup
  127. Sour soup
  128. Spinach soup
  129. Split pea
  130. Squash bisque
  131. Stone soup
  132. Stracciatella
  133. Swedish fruit soup
  134. Taco soup
  135. Talbina
  136. Tāng Fěn
  137. Tarator
  138. Tekwan
  139. Tom Yum
  140. Tomato bisque
  141. Tongseng
  142. Tortilla soup
  143. Turkey soup
  144. Vegetable soup
  145. Vichyssoise
  146. Vori vori
  147. Wedding soup
  148. White beef
  149. Wine soup
  150. Winter melon
  151. Zuppa pavese

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Who writes for this blog: Mike, I guess
What's the blog about: No fucking clue

One MIGHT say that the Sammy frat knows how to party



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Who writes for this blog: Sean
What's the blog about: philosophizing while high 

Sore Thumbs

It's important to get clear what Sartre meant by humanism. Humanism is a very general term usually used to refer to any theory which puts human beings at the center of things: so for instance, the humanism of the Renaissance was characterized by a movement away from metaphysical speculation about the nature of God to a concern with the works of humanity, especially in art and literature. Humanism has the positive connotation of being humane and is generally associated with an optimistic outlook. One version of humanism that Sartre rejects as absurd is the self-congratulatory reveling in the achievements of the human race. The humanism that he endorses emphasizes the dignity of human beings; it also stresses the centrality of human choice to the creation of all values. Sartre’s existentialism also captures the optimism usually associated with humanism: despite the absence of pre-established objective values we are entirely responsible for what we become, and this puts the future of humanity in our own hands: Sartre quotes Francis Ponge approvingly—man is the future of man. Yeah boy, that shit's fucking TIGHT.

—Sean


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Who writes for the blog: Mandy
What's the blog about: movie and music reviews from 2008

The Other Top 5 Albums of 2008


1) Dear Science, TV on the Radio
2008 was a big year for this New York freak indie rock band. Dear Science found them taking their signature dense, glitchy sound to new pop heights. It might be the biggest thing to happen to indie since Los Campesinos!

Best Tracks: Dancing Choose, Golden Age, Lover's Day



2) The Midnight Organ Fight, Frightened Rabbit
My friend Joe, who lives across the hall, calls this band "the Scottish Arcade Fire," and I think there's something to that. This is a breakout album for a band that sounds like they need it. From anthems ("I Feel Better") to life confessionals ("My Backwards Walk"), America can officially welcome this awesome rock outfit to its shores.



3) The Stand Ins, Okkervil River
Continuing to write songs to live your life to, Will Sheff and the folks of Okkervil River follows up on last year's triumph, The Stage Names, with a sequel of sorts. Like the skeleton on the cover, you'll be drunk on Sheff's tunes soon enough.



4) The Seldom Seen Kid, Elbow
Who said English rock is dead? One of the most underrated albums from across the pond might just be one of the best too. Listening to the album itself is an experience you don't want to miss.



5) Santogold, Santigold
With an aura of new wave, punk, electro, reggae, dub, and anything else you can think of, Santigold creates an album from everything and the kitchen sink. The album has really cool and fun vibe that reminds you of why you love music so much in the first place.


Honorable Mentions:
Third, Portishead
The Airing of Grievances, Titus Andronicus
The Chemistry of Common Life, Fucked Up
In Ghost Colours, Cut Copy


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Who writes for the blog: Rod and Steve, I assume
What's the blog about: a travelogue about hitchhiking across country

On the Road Again

Well, folks, it's time for another adventure. Let's see if we can get across the country hitchhiking, just like our grandparents used to do. Hey, and check it out, Joe K*** is up for the journey this time around. Let's do this!

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Album of the Week: Keep It Clean

Welcome back, everyone. It's Week 6 of the PoYB Record Club, and we're here with a new album for your listening pleasure(?). Nate A**** of Fatter, Older is picking the album this week, which is cool! If you've written twice, you are eligible! Let me know! Otherwise, if you wanna check out previous weeks' albums and reviews, feel free to click HERE.

WEEK 6 — March 10-16, 2019

What we're listening to this week (Nate's pick):


ALBUM: Keep It Clean
ARTIST: Innanet James

RELEASED: September 14, 2018

WHAT GENRE IS THIS: Rap(!), Hip Hop(!)

WHY NATE PICKED THIS: "A couple of year back, Innanet James released a song, "Summer," which contained multitudes (So classy! So funky! So horny!) and was ignored by all, save for some dudes in Maryland and lumps like yours truly who still read rap blogs. Can his latest full-length effort reach the same Billy Dee Williams heights? Additionally: how fun is the name 'Innanet James'? Let it roll off the tongue, come back for another taste."

TRACKS:
  1. The Cool
  2. Memories (ft. Taliwhoah)
  3. Where We Go
  4. Way Up (ft. Rexx Life Raj)
  5. Amazing
  6. Better Without You (ft. Pusha T)
  7. Bag
  8. Kept Clean
READING SOME SHIT: Here's a short profile on Innanet James for DJBooth.net, which might serve as a good primer on this artist, or maybe for your rap expectations in general.

Happy listening, fam! Have a great week!

Saturday, March 9, 2019

Song of the Week: "Hey Jude"



"Hey Jude"
The Beatles
Single b/w "Revolution"
1968

My nephew Jude was born the other day. My first thought was "I can't wait to meet him!" My second thought was "I'm glad everyone is healthy and doing well!" My third thought was "Jesus fucking christ, am I going to have to pretend that I like that song now?!"

Do I actually hate "Hey Jude"? It depends on how you define "hate," I guess. The song itself is fine. It's not grating or painful or anything. It's just bland, and totally unworthy of the hype it still gets, 50 years later.

It's corny and schmaltzy; "take a sad song and make it better" makes me literally queasy. It's preachy, like, what right did Paul McCartney have to be giving John Lennon's son advice? Its ending inspired a thousand copy cats (#25), and sure, maybe it deserves to be copied, but at the same time, sometimes I just wanna tell McCartney to chill the fuck out. He comes off so hackneyed with his faux white boy interjections and stutters.

But still, these opinions are going to have to live and die on the blog now that baby Jude is here. And that's okay. I don't want to come off as a crotchety or snobby uncle, ya know what I mean? I want to inspire my nephew to appreciate music in all forms, and to seek out great art and put it between his ears. Dunking on him because he shares a name with a song that I don't particularly enjoy is not going to do any favors for either of us.

Like I did way back when, hopefully he'll use the Beatles as a starting point, and go forth from there, in a life full of musical discoveries. And hopefully he'll be more inclined to do so because he relates to a famous song right there at the start.

Friday, March 8, 2019

Floating Features, Jenn


Did we pick this album bc this week was the 56th anniversary of "Surfin' U.S.A."?? I felt like i needed to be laying on the beach on drugs somewhere and these girls needed some happy pills. Definitely something I've never listened to before. Didn't love it but didn't hate it!

Floating Features, Pam


Lu Luz’s album Floating Features has the ability to cultivate a sound that is almost nostalgic in a way. At least for me. Is it corny? Honestly, I can’t tell because I actually really like it and I’m probably a little blinded by that. Maybe I’m yearning for summer, but everything came together for me in Floating Features in a cool way that was very palatable and kept me coming back.

Floating Features, Sam


Today, I asked myself the daily question that arises during a Philadelphia winter: why do I choose to live here? As an American citizen, I could reside in happy Hawaii, silly San Diego, or even fine Florida.  Instead, I own property in Phrigid Philadelphia. It's March and eleven degrees and everything's the worst. I'm wearing pajama pants under my clothing because all of my real thermals are dirty.

It was a pleasant atmospheric change of pace, then, to listen to Floating Features by La Luz. Surf rock at its finest. No better, no worse. My toes may be crinkled in my salt-licked boots, but my mind is transported to the Pacific Coast Highway, traveling the routes of peeps on Lodge 49 or every single California-based podcast I listen to.

And the music? Is there really a difference between diminishing returns and neutral returns that are the same every time? La Luz could have recorded this album in 1967 and I'm not sure I would have known the difference. It's remarkable how committed the band is to staying true to the surf rock sound. No deviations or experiments. It's surf rock, through and through.

While Floating Features is endlessly forgettable, La Luz took me away on this miserable morning. Mindfulness in music is nice. La Luz is good enough.

Floating Features, Joe


I've never really taken the time to explore the genre of "surf rock" because... there's not much to explore. Surf rock has a singular sound, and to deviate from that sound would mean that it's no longer surf rock at all.

So did I need to listen to La Luz's Floating Features? Probably not. It's not essential, in other words, because there is a line of music stretching all the way back to early '60s Beach Boys that sounds exactly like it. But fuck it, that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy listening to La Luz this week. Floating Features was fun like a hazy beach party is fun. And it's surf music, so that's literally the whole point.

All the hallmarks of surf rock are here, in almost every song. Vocal harmonies, guitar solos, wobbly Wulitzer organs, syncopated snare hits. The best songs on this album lean into what makes surf music special (if limited). I'm thinking songs like "California Finally" or "Loose Teeth" or "Don't Leave Me on the Earth," they all hit that sweet spot the best. You can practically close your eyes and smell the salty breeze when these songs hit your ears.

Floating Features does actually attempt to stretch the formula a little bit, I'll admit, even if it ruins my thesis statement. A little less than half of the songs on the album hit the brakes on the beach party and start getting into the idea of the subconscious. Songs like "Mean Dream" and "My Golden One" are hazy, mysterious tunes, featuring fragmented imagery, the type that could be (and was!) literally copied out of a dream journal. I'm not necessarily knocking La Luz for changing it up oh-so-slightly, but to me it just makes more sense that, if you're gonna do surf music, than you shouldn't half-ass it.

The song that does the best job of meeting halfway La Luz's dueling sounds is "The Creature." It's languid, resting on slow guitar riffs and that wonderful old organ sound, but the song features a classic surf punk guitar solo, and some neat lyrics about a monster, which, whether real or imaginary, are still pretty creepy.

"The Creature" notwithstanding, my favorite parts of Floating Features are the ones that concentrate on the innocent fun of this practically ancient genre. The tradition of "Wipe Out" and Brian Wilson and the Ventures is alive and well over a half-century later; you can hear it as soon as the title track hits you in all its beach-side glory.

I don't need to hear many more surf rock albums, because I feel like I've "heard them all" at this point. But I can barely complain when La Luz is playing that surf rock sound, that singular, unchanging sound. It's always the same, and I'll pretty much always enjoy it.

GRADE: 3 pukes out of 5

Thursday, March 7, 2019

The Albums That Matter: Pedestrian Verse

Joe runs through every album on his iPod, mostly in alphabetical order, and offers some brief thoughts. Check out previous columns HERE. Obviously, Pedestrian Verse does not fall in line alphabetically, but as previously explained, I'm also using this column to talk about the best albums of the 2010s. This is the next album I am discussing. Come back in December to find out where it falls in the rankings.


Pedestrian Verse
Frightened Rabbit
2013

Pedestrian Verse was described by frontman Scott Hutchison as "a surface peek into a million different stories, happening now, somewhere across the globe." When I listen to this album, however, there is only one story I hear.

Even putting aside the idea of "stories," there's so much to love in Pedestrian Verse. The first four songs are probably the best opening 1-2-3-4 of any album of the decade—the pounding toms of "Acts of Man" as a welcoming, the relentlessness of "Backyard Skulls," how "Holy" manages to somehow up the ante, the towering choruses of "The Woodpile." If the rest of the album is somewhat of a comedown, that only means that you are focusing on the music. And that's okay! The music is great throughout, but yeah man, you can't really top the opening tetrad.

But the story here is important, and like I said, there's only one. That's the story of the life and death of Scott Hutchison. 

We've explored how death effects art in previous entries, but Hutchison's 2018 death was the first for a musical artist that really knocked me for a loop. Why did his passing affect me so deeply? It probably had a lot to do with the music, how fucking heart-on-his-sleeve he was about everything that he wrote. He sung constantly about his struggles with depression, and his flirtations with suicide, and how hard he clung to life, no matter the temptation to end it. His death feels like a loss, not only in that we lost Hutchison, but a literal loss, like the power of music itself lost. To think that that's possible is, to me, a continuous gut punch.

So if you want to see Pedestrian Verse as the reflections of a doomed man, then that's your choice. It's a choice I make every time I hear it, and it deepens my relationship with the album every time I dare listen. But it's a choice I wish I didn't have to make. I wish Scott Hutchison was still on this earth, still creating music, still trying, and hopefully succeeding, to reach those insane heights that he hits consistently here.

And when I say that I choose to hear this album as the work of a depressed man who is teetering on the brink, I'm not implying that I have to work for it. It's all right there. He sings those words, plainly, throughout most of the songs. 

In "December's Traditions," he contrasts his mental anguish with how people think they can treat it like a physical ailment, how everyone asks him over and over, "What do you need from me?" while all the while, he doesn't know the answer. In "The Woodpile," he sings about how he "spent too long alone tonight," and is reaching out to someone, anyone, to come to him and help him. In "Nitrous Gas," he speaks openly about gassing himself just to get relief from the pain.

In "Dead Now," well, okay. In interviews in 2013, Hutchison described this song as "maybe one of the funniest songs I've ever written," but here in 2019, it's not really that funny anymore. "I'm dead now, can you hear the relief," he asks, and technically that's true, he is at peace now, but there's no relief for those still here.

It's interesting, though, that he described "Dead Now" as a joke, because despite the somber tone that completely envelopes Pedestrian Verse now, there are a ton of attempts at humor and undercutting of the depression throughout the album. "Late March, Death March" is probably the best example of this, how the song opens with a jaunty whistling and a joke ("I cursed in church again..."). But nevertheless, it's clear that the attempts at lightheartedness are really a battle against something bigger and darker.

"I don’t think people come to a Frightened Rabbit show to feel sad," said Hutchison at one point. "There is a release there. Private little moments of excitement for all of us in the band become this outpouring of celebratory, 'we’re all fucked, but it’s okay!' sort of thing." So despite the overtones of death, it is true that the moments of optimism are appreciated by the audience. "The Oil Slick," Pedestrian Verse's finale, ends on an incredibly optimistic way. Over pounding drums, we hear: "There's still hope so I think we'll be fine."

As part of that audience who listens to Frightened Rabbit to feel close and to feel loved, I take these words to heart. There is hope, goddamn it. I feel so fucking sad listening to this and knowing that Hutchison eventually couldn't see the truth in his own words. But his words echo on, and I will hold them close.

"A million stories." Pedestrian Verse itself is not that. It's one story. But as we listen to Pedestrian Verse together, it in turn becomes a million stories.

Willow was born on May 8th, 2018, and two days later, Scott Hutchison was dead. A million stories, some ending, some just beginning, all of them passing through Pedestrian Verse in one way or another.

It's a remarkable album. Please listen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If this album sounds interesting, then try this song: "Backyard Skulls"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stray Observations
  • That's all not to say that Scott Hutchison plays every character he sings about. I don't want you to infer that he is the toxic males described in "Acts of Man," though, like any good self-deprecator, he does question himself by the end of the song—I try not to be like these men, but am I anyway?
  • He is also clearly not the woman sung about in "State Hospital," a woman who is the victim of domestic abuse and life's circumstances. The song is pure fucking poetry (even though it's the song that gives us the pedestrian title of the album), and it affected me for entirely different reasons during today's listen-throughs, for reasons that I won't get into now.
  • Throwaway pair "Housing (in)" and "Housing (out)" are probably the only thing standing between Pedestrian Verse and perfection, but even so, can't really blame the band for wanting a couple breathers on this tracklist. Otherwise it might be too dense, ya feel me?
  • ALBUM COVER: We have a blue hardbound book with a simple cover, its contents unknown. Though, possibly, this is the theoretical book mentioned in "December's Traditions." In referring to his struggles with depression, Hutchison sings: "If I had the answer, I'd write a book of what I know."
  • I did not include this album on my 2013 Best Music list, simple because I hadn't heard it yet. I didn't actually listen until 2014 (and for that year's list of "Best Pre-2014 Albums," I included the album, calling Frightened Rabbit "the Scottish Arcade Fire"). It was a terrible omission, and you better bet that this shit is going to be rectified in our Best of the Decade List. (Hello to all those in the future who were linked back to this article from that list! Welcome!)
  • You always learn something new while reading Genius.com's lyrics and listening along. Today, I learned what was meant in "Late March, Death March" in the lyric: "Well, like Bulver said, less heart and more head." Bulverism is basically a mix of gaslighting and ad hominem arguing, in that you don't want to believe that something is true, so you attack the source.
  • Shout out to the person who called the hotline I work at while I was listening to this, and had to put up with my sniffles throughout the conversation! Thanks for your patience!

NEXT TIME: Sleep Well Beast by The National (then we'll get back to the alphabetical list, promise!)

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Don't Tell Me What I Can't Do, Part IX: The Connelly

Welcome to "Don't Tell Me What I Can't Do," an ongoing new series here on PoYB. Please first read this blog post I wrote in 2009. There, I listed 22 subjects that I would NEVER write about on this website. Here in 2019, I say: don't fucking tell me what I can't do. For a total of twenty-two posts, I will be blogging about these subjects, in striking defiance of my 20-year-old naiveté.

TODAY'S "FORBIDDEN" SUBJECT: "The best places to fuck in the Connelly Library"

WHY IT WAS FORBIDDEN: There are two ways at looking at 2009 Joe's thought process with this one. The first was that I was just scared to write anything about La Salle at that point, at the risk of expulsion. The second was that I was trying to make a joke about how much sex I was having at my place of employment, to perhaps cover up the fact that I was not having sex at all, regardless of which college building I was in. Either way is a valid way of looking at it. Either way is dumb.

HOW I WILL WRITE ABOUT IT: I went on Facebook and asked a bunch of former coworkers if they ever had sex in the Connelly Library, and documented what they had to say.




"I got to know the best spots pretty well because we used to have to take that security wand around the building and visit every nook and cranny, remember that thing? Haha. I remember one time getting plowed near the water fountains on the second floor. It was near the Classic Literature section. It was La Salle. No one visited that section of books." —Chelsea L.







"Honestly, I wasn't all that secretive about it. We used to go up to the mezzanine, two at a time, maybe with some vodka/Gatorades, and just go at it while holding onto the railing that looked out on to the third floor proper. Wild times." —Hayley T.








"One time Marianne wanted me to move some old books that were in storage next to the full-time employee lounge, and when I saw her enter the code on the keypad to gain access, I copied it down real quick. Then it was just a matter of memorizing the full-timers' lunch or dinner schedules, so when everyone else was working, my boyfriend and I could trade quickies in the lounge whenever we wanted. The code is probably still 2-4-4-5-3, if you're interested." —Charles V.


"I've never told anyone this before, but I have my diploma, La Salle can't touch me now, right? My boyfriend and I pulled a 'Basil E. Frankweiler' one time when we were bored. Each sat on toilet tanks in our respective bathrooms with our feet up so that the closing security guard couldn't see us. Then we slept under the stars near a second-floor window. Laid out a blanket. Ate leftover Treetops quesadillas. Made love." —Vanessa P.






"Got dome in the Bob Dylan Special Collection room once." —Pete S.











"It was pretty simple. My sorority sisters and I would book a private study room, tape off all the windows, dim the lights, and go at it. I'm a little shocked more people didn't take advantage of those study rooms? It was like they were built for group sex." —Ashley B.








"Have you ever scrolled through some of those old dusty archives in the back room of the basement? The ones that you have to take out of the canisters, load into one of those old projectors, and literally crank the handle to view each slide? Well, let me tell you, those old Byzantine paintings were fucking wild. The projector's handle wasn't the only thing I was cranking." —Luke H.






"[Sighs] I was too old for that shit. But yeah, since you're asking, I caught a few kids back in the day doing something I won't even get into. It was right in the goddamn stairwell. La Salle students have no class. Can't wait till I can retire so I can get away from you goddamn kids." —John








"Our old boss, Cathleen, remember how she would just fall asleep right there in the front office? It was pretty funny. You couldn't wake her up even if you tried! My boyfriend ate me out one time right there in front of her while she was passed out. Old people are hilarious." —Sabrina G.








"Does outside the library count? I was walking home from Wister House one night with my boyfriend at the time—who is an asshole by the way, but that's another story—anyways we were walking past the library on the way back to Neumann, and we ended up getting frisky behind those big industrial fans. It was loud enough that no one could hear us back there. I think someone in the basement study lounge might of seen us, but it's all good. It was college. What else would you expect?" —Harper A.




"I tried to have sex at least once on every level of the library throughout my four years at La Salle. I could never figure out how to pull off doing the deed right there on the first floor though. There were always too many other students around. Not that that wouldn't have been hot with other people around. It was the fact that they were studying that turned me off. I can't even get it up when I'm around someone taking notes." —Vince E.






"Despite the fact that I literally dated one of my coworkers, I never banged in the library. Jerked off in the third-floor bathroom once." —Anonymous

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

The Albums That Matter: The Wild Hunt

Joe runs through every album on his iPod, mostly in alphabetical order, and offers some brief thoughts. Check out previous columns HERE. Obviously, The Wild Hunt does not fall in line alphabetically, but as previously explained, I'm also using this column to talk about the best albums of the 2010s. This is the next album I am discussing. Come back in December to find out where it falls in the rankings.


The Wild Hunt
The Tallest Man on Earth
2010

There was a morning, not long after I started dating Pam, when I was messing around on her laptop at her old apartment, and played a video of a then-unknown-to-me artist the Tallest Man on Earth playing a live rendition of a song called "King of Spain" on Pitchfork. I liked it enough to download the album, and that album, The Wild Hunt, ended up soundtracking a lot of my long summer drives down Roosevelt Boulevard to get to Center City and see my new girlfriend.

So yes, The Wild Hunt is one of those albums irrevocably tied to a place and a time. It was a great summer, and so it's one of my favorite albums. When I hear the opening guitar strumming of the title track, I hear it coming out of my shitty '91 Camry's shitty speakers, and I see the sun setting over the shitty trees along the median of the shittiest twelve-lane highway in all of Philly, and I can't help but smile.

Of course, The Wild Hunt is not just a great album for personal nostalgic reasons. It's just a flat-out great album. Kristian Matsson ("The Tallest Man on Earth" is not his actual name, believe it or not) sings in a Dylanesque wail, so much so that you might think it was actually Bob Dylan, if Bob Dylan himself didn't currently sound like drunk Cookie Monster.

Besides the piano on the final track, there aren't any sounds on The Wild Hunt besides Matsson's voice and his acoustic guitar. Such a sparsity of unique sounds requires the songwriting to be on point, and it is. Songs like "Burden of Tomorrow" and "The Drying of the Lawns" actually put together cohesive lyrics (unlike Dylan, I'd argue).

But even more than that, Matsson sings those lyrics like he really fucking means it. This dude is expressive. It sounds like every song is the last song he'll ever sing. Such a line as "Driver, please don't go that fucking way" is made into a mission statement, yelled from the heavens, just something about the way he screams "FUCKing waaaaay." It's great. That he can take what are ostensibly small acoustic guitar ditties and turn them into epic, fist-pumping jams is an achievement.

It means that this album should definitely be in the conversation when it comes to all-time greats, regardless of my very subjective memories listening to it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

If this album sounds interesting, try this song: "Troubles Will Be Gone"



~~~~~~~~~~~

Stray Observations
  • That video of "King of Spain" that I so clearly remember watching on Pam's computer all the way back when? Apparently it doesn't exist anymore. But if anyone can work google better than I can and wants to send it over, let me know!
  • ALBUM COVER: It's a sunset over a highway, which actually gives me pause. I absolutely have a memory of driving down Roosevelt Boulevard at sunset and jamming out to this album, but I guess it's possible that my memory was altered by my exposure to this album cover. I guess I'll never know. (Sidenote: I don't capitalize the "on" for this artist's name, but according to the album cover, the artist himself does. We'll agree to disagree on this particular grammar point, I guess.)
  • I've always connected the final track here, "Kids on the Run," with the final track on Vampire Weekend's self-titled debut, "The Kids Don't Stand a Chance," possibly because they both have "Kids" in them, and that they are closing tracks that take stylistic departures from the album that preceded them. But I guess upon further reflection, they don't share much else in common. The "kids" here are really adults feeling like they are still kids, whereas the "kids" in VW's song are condemned by the adult protagonist before they are even grown.
  • Matsson is Swedish, and so, was nominated for an award in 2011 for this album at the Swedish equivalent of the Grammys, called, if you can believe it, the "Grammis." He lost in the "Best Male Artist" category to Håkan Hellström, an artist whose popularity has not crossed over to the US, it seems.
  • Hey, the Tallest Man on Earth has a new album coming out soon! His output since The Wild Hunt has been more of a mixed bag, but maybe this new one will hark back to his most successful album.

NEXT TIME: Pedestrian Verse by Frightened Rabbit (as we continue our non-alphabetical decade-best album reflections)

Monday, March 4, 2019

CH**K

The best picture I could find during a very delicate google image search on my work computer

One my favorite games to play as a child involved a tennis ball, a flat, hard ground surface, a straight brick wall, and a group of friends. It's a game you can play (and I have played) at all ages. Everyone playing is assigned an order, and in that order, you slap the tennis ball onto the ground at such a velocity and angle that it hits the wall after it hits the ground. The next person in line has to complete that same action (slap the ball, it hits the ground, then the wall, in that order) before the ball hits the ground again. It's a game that's both fast-paced and fluid. It requires coordination and finesse, but not so much that a drunk 30-year-old can't play as well as a fifth grader could. Though I don't get to play it too often these days, it's probably my favorite outdoor game to play, ever.

The name of the game is Chink. This is a problem.

It's a problem because "chink" is also the name of an ethnic slur against Asians. I'm not going to defend the use of this word any more than I'd defend the use of the n-word. I obviously don't believe in its use this way. But I think it's time to determine whether it is retroactively wrong that I've used the name "Chink" to describe the name of my favorite recreational schoolyard game for the past twenty years.

Preliminary argument: the word "chink" in the context of a handball game has nothing to do with race or the shaming of any race or nationality. Merriam-Webster lists multiple definitions for the word, and the two that apply to this game are probably "a weak spot that may leave one vulnerable," or "a short sharp sound." Both in combination could be where the actual game definition of a "chink" is, which is the term for when the tennis ball hits the wall and the ground at exactly the same time, right at the angle at the base of the wall (i.e. leaving your opponent vulnerable, or making a strange discordant pock sound).

One could even make an argument that calling the game "Chink" would be akin to saying that someone with bad sunburn has "red skin," or that in order to keep warm, I need a "coonskin cap." This argument would be in favor of considering the INTENT of the use of the word, that unless you are using the word in a purposefully derogatory way, it's not actually bad to use it.

This argument, were I to make it, would have one problem—I am a straight white male, and I have no right to an opinion on the matter. Who the fuck am I to say what words can and should be used? Words that have, in our culture, been used to degrade and debase whole swaths of people, those words have an immense negative power. My ancestors wielded these words like weapons against minorities. I have NO FUCKING SAY IN THE MATTER. If someone is offended by my use of a word, then I should not use the word. End of story. I have no grounds to make an argument, because I don't understand what it's like to be demeaned by vocabulary.

I unfortunately don't have many friends of Asian descent, but this wouldn't even be a matter of asking this hypothetical friend for "permission" to use the word under certain supposedly innocuous circumstances. One person can't speak for a whole race or culture. Asking an Asian friend permission to call a handball game the same way I've always called it would be the same thing as when trump shows off the only black White House employee he can find to try to "prove" that he "isn't racist." Sometimes facts are facts. Sometimes you are the president and you call immigrants by various slur words while defending white supremacists. Sometimes you are a kid in the Northeast who plays a schoolyard game and calls it by a word that happens to also be a racist slur. It's racist either way.

There is actually some precedent in Philadelphia controversy when it comes to this particular slur word. Joe's Steaks was formerly, for years, known as "Chink's." The original owner, Samuel Sherman, opened the shop in 1949. His nickname was "Chink." He was actually Jewish, but because he had "almond-shaped eyes," his friends gave him the nickname. Does the fact that he wasn't actually of Asian descent mean it was okay to use the word? (No.) Does the fact that he took ownership of the word and turned it into a success mean it was okay? (No.) Does the fact that the cheesesteaks themselves are probably the best in the entire city? (No.)

No, none of that makes it okay, because the word still holds an incredibly negative connotation in certain contexts. Because it's definitely not okay to say in certain contexts, that means it's not okay to say in ANY context. Joe Groh, who purchased the franchise after Sherman's death in '97, understood that, and in 2013, officially changed the name to "Joe's."

If you can believe it, people boycotted the store because of the name change, and according to various sources, people still have a problem with it. Let me be clear, the people who loudly make their ignorant NEWTy opinions known to Joe Groh? They are being racist.

I don't for a second believe that these people actually are fighting for the right to degrade Asians. But I think that, because the word also meant, in certain contexts, "a good cheesesteak," that they think it's still okay to use it, that it's their "right." They don't care about those contexts in which the word is used to demean and shame. And THAT'S the racist part. That they don't care.

And here's another racist part of this whole thing—the cheesesteaks are still just as good no matter what they are called! The quality didn't change. To fight for something so frivolous as a name, when at the same time that name has hurt so many people, that's when it becomes wrong.

So yes, it was wrong of me to use that word as a name for even an innocence game. I am deeply sorry if my use of the term has ever pained anyone. I hope it hasn't. I hope it isn't too late.

I propose the following—let's come up with a better name for this unequivocally wonderful and enjoyable game. I never want to stop playing it with my friends, even when we are all old men with walkers and canes. I just don't want to be racist when I play it.

Sunday, March 3, 2019

Album of the Week: Floating Features

Welcome back, everyone. Week 5 of the PoYB Record Club, here with a new album for your listening pleasuring. If you wanna check out previous weeks' albums and reviews, feel free to click HERE.

WEEK 5 — March 3-9, 2019

What we're listening to this week (Pam's pick):


ALBUM: Floating Features
ARTIST: La Luz


RELEASED: May 11, 2018

WHAT GENRE IS THIS: Surf rock

WHY PAM PICKED THIS: "I wanted to explore a surf rock album and Apple music suggested this one."

TRACKLIST:
  1. Floating Features
  2. Cicada
  3. Loose Teeth
  4. Mean Dream
  5. California Finally
  6. The Creature
  7. My Golden One
  8. Lonely Dozer
  9. Greed Machine
  10. Walking into the Sun
  11. Don't Leave Me on the Earth
READING SOME SHIT: Here's an interview with frontwoman Shana Cleveland for the L.A. Record, which delves into some of the themes of the record, most of which have to do with dreams and nightmares.

Happy listening, fam! Have a great week!

Saturday, March 2, 2019

Song of the Week: "Dolphin"



"Dolphins"
Panda Bear
from Buoys
2019

Very occasionally, I'll grow to enjoy a song despite my better judgment. There are songs that have no business being appreciated in any capacity, and yet, you appreciate them all the same, for some fucking ineffable and unexplained reason.

I hate repetitive songs. I hate songs that use auto-tune as a crutch instead of a flourish. I hate random fucking sound effects. "Dolphin" has all of those things, and yet... and yet, I still kind of weirdly like it? Maybe its hypnotic acoustic guitar and water dripping loop has literally hypnotized me, I dunno.

I also tend to either hate or at least be deeply mistrustful of anything that Animal Collective and its individual members release, in any capacity. Strawberry Jam is the main exception, but everything else I've ever heard from any of these guys is mostly garbage. I'm sorry if that means I get my indie rock credentials taken away from me, but I've tried and tried and have been disappointed over and over (e.g. has a song ever made you want to die?).

I wouldn't even be listening to Buoys if Stereogum didn't force me to. But I made a solemn swear, and I booted up Buoys, and I pressed play, and heard the lead-off track "Dolphin," and was shocked. By the end of the three minutes and forty-two seconds, I was legitimately enthralled. I didn't know why. All I knew was that, holy shit, maybe this was going to be a good album?!

It wasn't. Buoys is trash, just like the rest. But I've gone back to "Dolphin" a few times since, and I've enjoyed it each time, so I thought I'd share it with you too. I don't even know if I like this track enough to go out of my way to download it individually, but if I ever hear it again after today, I'll always think back to that weird winter of 2019, when up was down and down was up and I blogged every single day and I fed a baby a gallon of applesauce and Panda Bear gave me a song that I liked.

Friday, March 1, 2019

This Is Not the End, Jenn


First impression was why is the background music so loud, why can't I hear what this man is singing? Is he singing into a floor fan so he sounds echoey?? BUT with that said I didn't hate it. I could appreciate why people liked it. I gave it a few more shots, each time the words became clearer and it was great background music while cleaning around the house. In the end I decided that somewhere out there Seth Cohen and Ryan Atwood were rocking out to some steinbergs and I prob wouldn't skip them if they came up on my music playlist again!

This Is Not the End, Pam


Sorry this is short and abrupt... it's after 10 PM and I just finished all my work. I only listened to this twice.

This is a quintessential Joe K*** album that we would listen to as I am driving—Joe rocks out, I semi-listen. For me, it was an okay album that started out with a ton of energy but lost a little steam by the end. It sounds the same as all the other JK albums I have listened to while driving. It's fine.

This Is Not the End, Nate


At its finest, This Is Not the End is the soundtrack to the Boys returning to Town. At its lowest, it's glory-minded post-rock without the Texas football team. At all moments, its sincerity is without question, present on its sleeve for all to see. If the Spielbergs want to fight, you better let 'em.

This Is Not the End, Joe


Like the first album we reviewed, This Is Not the End sounds like music I already know. Spielbergs sounds to me like Superchunk decided they wanted to start a Beach Slang cover band. Again, saying that some music sounds exactly like other music is not necessarily a criticism; there are only a finite number of sounds in the universe, so there are bound to be repeating music sounds, especially within particular genres. However, it really, really helps when an artist is plagiarizing from bands that I fucking adore. If Spielbergs want to sound like Japandroids-lite, then count me 100% in.

This Is Not the End is chock full of those heart- and fist-pumping anthems that I love so much. The guitars are loud, the hooks hit you hard, the drums are driving, and the catchphrases are yelled over it all and repeated and might as well be inscribed in a fucking tattoo already. "We could be perfect!!" By the sounds of it, they could.

That's not to say that the album actually is perfect. It's not. In particular, there are one too many post-rock sojourns for my taste, where the band ditches the anthems and latches on to waves of feedback and guitar sounds that float into the ether. Not that there is never a place for rhythmless static in music, it just feels out of place on This Is Not the End. I can't decide whether it sounds like the band was consciously beating the Japandroids comparison back with a stick or that they just needed some bloated throwaway tracks to boost the album from an EP to an LP, but either way, the lifeless experiments stop the album dead in its tracks.

Oh well! There are still enough absolute jams here to overcome the duds and make This Is Not the End one of the best albums of the year so far, in my eyes. I mean, shit man, put on "4 AM" and crank up the volume, and see how you feel. There's nothing like it.

GRADE: 4 pukes out 5