Summer Grab Bag #4

Two weeks of bullshit miscellaneous nonsense to keep the blogging streak alive while I'm out of town. Hang in there, gang. We have your regular slate of Record Club stuff over the weekend, and then one more week till we're back. Maybe I'll even watch The Godfather Part III at some point.

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The best part of going to a bachelor party, especially if it's a destination bachelor party, is when you get to the wedding weeks later, and you're with your wife, and you see some dude that you only met during the bachelor party trip, a guy whom surely you are never going to see again for the rest of your life, but you and your wife approach him and his wife, and you say what up, you let your respective wives know how you know each other, and then there's just this like look that you share, a look that feels similar to the look soldiers gave each other years after they came back from 'Nam, a look that conveys a sense that something weird happened over there, something that you wouldn't even know how to talk about even if you tried, especially in front of your wives, a look that means that maybe we shouldn't talk about it, that bachelor party, that we should never talk about it ever again, and then the implicit agreement that you won't, and then that's it, you part ways, forever, back to your own respective friend groups.

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A Complete List of Activities I Will (Mostly) Refuse to Participate In During This Bachelor Party That I Am Currently on a Flight Toward:

• Swim in a goddamn hotel pool
• Golf
• Wait in line for three hours for BBQ
• Museums
• Historical landmarks, e.g. Governor's Mansion or whatever
• Landmarks from the filming of Dazed and Confused, all of which can't possibly look in any way the same that they do in the movie, and so let's avoid this particular disappointment
• Spend money on cowboy boots I will never wear
• Shoot guns at a gun range
• go clubbing
• zipline
• any other "high octane" activity that requires sobriety
• those fucking pub crawls where everyone is pedaling the same large bike/bar
• rent a bike
• rent a scooter
• rent anything but a five-minute Lyft ride
• escape room
• strip club (too expensive)
• see any women whatsoever (cocks only)