PoYB Oscars Week, Day 2: Best Acting Awards

Everything I personally learned about acting could fit on the head of a pin, and even then, that information all promptly exited my brain a little more than eleven years ago, as I took my final bow in my final theater performance in college. So, like, take this short blog post with a gigantic grain of fucking salt, ya feel me? I'm going with my gut for a lot of this, and my gut ain't shit these days.

Best Actor

The first question I'll ask for all four of these categories is: was there a weak link among the five? For Best Actor, I'll give deign to give the popular answer here, and say Javier Bardem for playing Desi. It was fine! But, like, looking at these five actors and these five roles, and Bardem's is the only one I can no longer visually picture when I close my eyes. Either it was a forgettable role, or my brain is fucking mush.

Denzel Washington is probably handcuffed by the fact that I had no fucking idea what he was doing. Okay, for this opinion, we all agree that my brain is definitely mush, right? I'm just a moron who doesn't understand Shakespeare. That's all. Good for Denzel for making the gibberish look stylish as FUCK. I'm just saying that I could not personally connect with the performance. My fault, my fault.

I always take a half step back when an actor is performing as someone who still exists in this mortal coil, and so I wonder about Will Smith's performance. It was fucking great, don't get me wrong. But what did he alter about it, knowing that the man he was portraying would be watching? Did anything hold him back? I'm just wondering out loud here.

I don't think there is anything to wonder about Cumberbatch's unhinged cowboy performance. I don't want my ambivalence about The Power of the Dog to overshadow the fact that this dude fucking brought it. Grief and anger and shame all palpably bubbling below the surface of this character. Good stuff.

But I think maybe give the Oscar to Andrew Garfield? I want to say this performance was unhinged as well, but in a different way. It was unhinged but positive, optimistic, endearing? I was uncomfortable watching the repressed cowboy make fire with his eyes, and if that means Cumberbatch deserves the Oscar, so be it. But I was enthralled with how Garfield made fireworks with his own eyes. He was lovable as only the weirdest theater kids could be. Yeah, I talked myself into it. Give him the gold.

Best Actress

This is an exciting category because it really does feel like anyone could win it. The Academy loves starfucking, and there are five certified capital-s Stars that they could metaphorically fuck right here.

Like, c'mon, you can already picture it in your mind, Olivia Coleman walking up to the stage. The Academy loves Coleman. And rightly so! Christ! So fucking good in The Lost Daughter. It was really cool seeing this actress for once playing the person in the room with the weakest grip on reality. It catches you off-guard, ya know? Because you want to believe that Coleman plays characters who are with it, and then throughout this movie you start to realize how truly nuts she is. This is good shit.

I'm trying to refrain from using the word "unhinged" too many times, because that can't possible be the quality that makes for a good performance, right? That's just me leaning on a very personal preference. Still, it's tough not to use the word when talking about Kristen Stewart and her portrayal of Princess Diana. I like the idea of the princess going batshit through simple exposure to a radioactive royal family, and Stewart does a great job of bringing us into that hell, and holding our heads in the embers.

Do people think Nicole Kidman is a good actor? I'm undecided myself. She wasn't bad when I watched her in Eyes Wide Shut a few months ago. She was bad, however, watching that Hulu series, um, [looks it up], Nine Perfect Strangers. Truly terrible. Even worse that she was in Big Little Lies, which I thought was bad. As Lucille Ball though? Fine, I guess. I have maybe seen two episodes of I Love Lucy and certainly have never seen the real Ball off-screen, so I have to take the Academy's word for it when they she did good. These starfuckers are going to give Kidman the award, guaranteed.

Which is a shame, because Jessica Chastain gets my vote, I think. To start, she elevates what could've been a one-note or silly performance. In addition, she makes what could've been a dark or villainous character truly delightful. If there is a hell, Tammy Faye is going there, but man, did I enjoy the ride, and that's all to do with Chastain. Probably the most fun performance out of all twenty in this blog post.

As of this writing, I have not seen Parallel Mothers. My bad! I'm sure Penélope Cruz is excellent in it. It's just that we have like 90 minutes a night to watch movies, so having to spend two nights per movie really fucked us over down the stretch, and we had to jettison something eventually. When I eventually watch the movie, I'll edit below this paragraph.

Also: Alana Haim is the biggest snub of the night.

Best Supporting Actor

Let me say right out of the gate that I'm a big Jesse Plemons fan. I mean, who isn't, right? I love this dude and I wish him a long and successful career. But the unfortunate truth is that, a lot of times, the acting can not overcome the fact that the script gives said actor nothing to do. Not that there was literally nothing for Plemons to do in The Power of the Dog, I'm just saying that it wasn't his best showcase. He is capable of so much more, and I hope the next movie he is nominated for (truth: there will be many more) will let him really show what he can do.

On the other end of the spectrum, I thought Being the Ricardos allowed J.K. Simmons to show exactly what he can do. This is a good thing. It also maybe unintentionally limited Simmons anyway. When we last saw Simmons winning this award, it was for a similarly quick-witted and quick-tempered veteran of the respective craft, but that Whiplash thing saw some interesting dark (okay, really dark) undercurrents, whereas here he's a lovable drunk. Just as enjoyable, maybe not as impressive? I dunno. Not angry if he wins, just saying.

Okay, if I want dark, am I saying that Kodi Smit-McPhee should win the award? Maybe. So goddamn creepy. It gives me goosebumps to think about the performance. This is a good thing. I'm always impressed when an actor can show that side of themselves on screen.

Then there's Ciarán Hinds, who does the whole goofy grandpop thing. I love it. I loved the character like I loved my own grandfather before he passed. But fuck it. Give me dark. Give the Oscar to Kodi Smit-McPhee.

UPDATE: Just watched CODA a few hours before this blog post is set to be published, so I've finally seen Troy Kotsur's supporting performance. This might be recency bias, but I thought that Kotsur fucking brought it. I'm just always impressed how affecting a performance can be when that performance is in another language. The man practically brought me to tears with just his eyes and his hands. Sorry Kodi, I'm unbolding your name and bolding Troy Kotsur instead.

Best Supporting Actress

Maybe Judi Dench is a lock. (People love pointing out that she is a "dame," but fuck the Queen and her daming, amirite?) The Academy loves old people acting silly. She's right there with Hinds in the male category! And rightly so! Goddamn! Dench was delightful in Belfast. I think her performance brings out the best in the movie, honestly. The whole point of Belfast is that it's a sad situation but nevertheless you can somehow find joy in that sad situation. That idea is personified in Dench's character.

I've been getting annoyed at always seeing this: "Well, Jesse Buckley doesn't necessarily look like Olivia Coleman, but..." So? Wouldn't that make her performance more impressive? That she is able to capture exactly the same deranged spirit that Coleman does, but just in the flashbacks? I might even go so far as to say that Buckley was better than Coleman in this movie. Is that too far? Ugh, maybe, but still, man, empathizing with a character who casually ditches her kids for years is just such an extraordinary feat in acting.

Kirsten Dunst? Not so much. I am totally endeared by her, and I wish her the best. For real! (And not for nothing, I saw Gangs of New York recently and I thought for the first time in my life that Dunst gave a grade-A fantastic performance in it.) But take everything I said about her husband Plemons in their movie, and double it—absolutely jack shit for her to do. Give her the Oscar, she seems like a wonderful person, but I don't know if she'll truly deserve it, or really ever has (besides Gangs of New York). [EDIT: Yes, this was an egregious error, and I am a fucking moron.]

I was surprised that Ariana DeBose was the nominee from West Side Story. But maybe only because the movie was so well-casted (creepy Elgort notwithstanding). The more I think about it, the more I agree with this nomination. DeBose was just so goddamn natural in this role. Some people just have "it," like that star presence. And DeBose has it. Excited to see what else she does.

All this taken into consideration, I'd give the award to Aunjanue Ellis. There's something to say about performances that are earned in a single scene, and Ellis' was definitely one of those. Y'all know which one I'm talking about—the one where she takes her husband to task for all his bullshit (both spoken and unspoken by the movie itself). I'm just enamored by strong mothers, I think, and this performance—especially in that one scene—was one for the ages.

Miscellaneous

I think it's time to create an award for best voice acting. If only so Stephanie Beatriz could've won this year for the final verse in "The Family Madrigal."