Living in Filth

the motto of a Deferred-Suspension-filled room

Reasons we have the grossest quad in the dorms, as of March 2, 2009:

SECTION A: The Sleeping Room

1) The pink carpet has never been vacuumed and has dirt all over it.
2) Every dresser has a mountain of trash and dirty clothes on top of it.
3) Dirty clothes are also all over the floor, especially Mike's, who has done laundry twice this semester so far, even though it is now midterm week.
4) There are food wrappers on my and Kyle's desks, along with cig wrappers and old red cups.
5) My bed smells like shit, literally, after a weeks worth of sickness and drinking and pissing the bed. I washed the sheets after pissing the bed, but the odor remains.
6) Socks on top of the printer? Also, socks everywhere.
7) There are strange black spots on the floor?
8) So many towels and other random assortment of clothes populate the top shelf.
9) Don't even ask what's under the bed.
10) Condom wrappers.

SECTION B: The 4-Door Room

11) The sink is a filthy brown and yellow.
12) There's a weird blue-stained tupperware container on the counter that's been there for weeks.
13) The powdered iced tea mix container sits there unopened.
14) Dirty protein shake containers litter the counter as well.
15) Old newspapers are all over the floor.
16) Also, odd bottles and cans.
17) A big box of empty bottles, mostly alcoholic, sits unnoticed.
18) The mini-fridge has a big brown stain all over the inside. I think that's from the Chinese food that sat in there for months.
19) The welcome mat used to be tan-colored, but is now practically black, and no longer sticks to the floor.
20) Signs fall off the wall and instead of getting picked up, they are trampled on for months.
21) Wrapping paper on the floor? Don't ask why.
22) There's a bra on a parking cone, and no one knows whose it is.
23) Condom wrappers.

SECTION C: The Bathroom

24) Toothbrushes all touch each other in the used solo cup they're stored in.
25) Another red cup filled with water has been sitting there for a while and it's starting to turn green.
26) I don't know why this happens, but a two-inch layer of toothpaste covers the toothpaste container perpetually.
27) Hair trims—pubic or otherwise—are all over the floor.
28) The carpet is just disgusting, and that's the first thing your feet touch after a shower.
29) Speaking of shower, the floor is black.
30) And there's soap scum on everything.
31) And there's Kool-Aid mix on the curtain...?
32) Boxers and socks are always on the floor.
33) The toilet area is filled with used toilet paper rolls.
34) The rim of the toilet is brown with vomit stains from two weeks ago.
35) Mike never fucking flushes.
36) The floor around the toilet looks like the floor of a jungle.
37) Porn magazines have been sitting next to the toilet all year, I can't imagine how much filth stains them.
38) The bathroom clean-up schedule is only up to "Week 8"... and we've lived here since August.
39) Condom wrappers.

SECTION D: The Party Room

40) Peanut shells all over the table.
41) Empty malt liquor forty bottle, everywhere.
42) A tray of clean cups have been on the coffee table since they were cleaned four weeks ago, and are thus no longer clean.
43) A Phillies towel has been on the floor this whole semester, and it's brown with what I hope to god is not a poop stain.
44) Underwear tacked to the wall...?
45) The couch reeks of grime. Too many people have slept, sat, or sexed on it.
46) Empty beer boxes everywhere.
47) Clothes are everywhere, and no one even lives in that room.
48) Used tissues. So fucking gross.
49) The carpet needs a vacuum.
50) There's a big bag of trash no one seems to want to touch in the middle of the floor.
51) A loaf of bread rests on the full-sized fridge, and it's stale as a rock.
52) There's food in a crate, and the crate is on the floor in a dusty corner.
53) The room smells like tuna all the time because apparently Kyle loves tuna.
54) Mike brought tacos one day and now there's a bag of rotten taco toppings in the fridge.
55) A pumpkin has been perched on the windowsill since October, and is obviously now rotten and falling apart.
56) Condom wrappers.

So, my quad is almost impossible to live in. Yet, with an impending ban from university housing hanging over my head, I know that I'll really, really miss 249 if I'm forced to leave, dirt and grime and tuna smell and used tissues and all.