Sacrilege on Christmas Day

above: if you are confused or insulted, read on

I just realized what I've become. I never thought I'd be THAT person, but I am. I have turned into a Christmas/Easter churchgoer.

That's okay. It's not that I don't like mass. It's just that I've kind of grown out of the habit in my years of college. I'll pick it up again in due time, when I have children of my own and want them to experience the same comfortable upbringing I had in the Catholic School system. But for now, I'll be at Church two times a year.

Being an "outsider" now at Church, it gave me time to take a step back and reflect on a strange comparison that cropped up during the service. It's a comparison that can be quite inaccurate at times, but just hear me out.

Mass is like a frat party. Think about it.

Tons of people gather for one purpose: the consumption of an alcoholic beverage (whether it be Natty Light or the Blood of Christ).

At a college party, there's usually a bar that holds the keg, a bar that is separate from the rest of the party gathered. Frat brothers, who are all dressed in the same colors, hand out the red cups—but not before you pay your fee of five dollars! And you line up for your beer at the bar. People but in front of you, but they have house cup so there's nothing you can do. Everyone gets drunk, someone tells a funny story, perhaps people drunkenly sing along to a song (maybe with a house band or DJ). The party is over, the frat kids who threw the party kick everyone out, and you and your friends go somewhere to get a late night snack.

Compare this to...

At mass, there's the altar holds the alcohol, an altar that is separate from the rest of the group gathered. Eucharistic Ministers (who were all dressed in red yesterday, I swear), hand out the cup of blood/wine—but not before you pay your fee in the collection basket! And you line up for your wine at the altar. Old people butt in front of you, but they are old so there's nothing you can do. Everyone gets enlightened, someone tells a story from the Bible, perhaps people joyfully sing along to a song (maybe with a Church band). The mass is over, the priest who gathered the congregation bids everyone goodbye, and you and your family go somewhere for dinner.

This is what I thought about, with a smirk, during the four o'clock Christmas Eve mass. I'm going to hell.