PoYB from the Vault: "Top Ten Albums of the 21st Century"

the random ass photo chosen to accompany this list, though I had no say in those types of editorial concerns

First, the list, as printed on November 20, 2008, and then some much needed context and reactions.

Top Ten List

Albums of the 21st Century

by Joe K***

Collegian Staff

The thing about ranking music is that our opinions on the matter can be so fickle. The music I enjoy at 3 AM in my dorm is not the same music I enjoy on a rainy walk to Wister Hall. So, dear reader, please take heed that though this list of the greatest music in the past eight years excluded some of your favorites, by the time this article reaches publication, it will be excluding some of my favorites as well.

10) Silent Alarm by Bloc Party — It seems the British Invasion is still alive and well after all. These fine musicians perfected their art right off the bat in their debut album, Silent Alarm. The guitar riffs are as sharp as the day is long, and I rarely hear tighter drums. Too bad their follow-ups disappoint.

9) Chutes Too Narrow by the Shins — The movie Garden State claims that the Shins will change your life. Something tells me that's a bit of an exaggeration. Nevertheless, one cannot deny the pop mastery of Chutes Too Narrow. Just thinking about its shiny tunes makes me smile.

8) America Idiot by Green Day — Aha! I can hear the music snobs scoffing already at my choice for number eight. "Green Day is so lame," they will say. Maybe they are, but so what? My 20th birthday is coming up in two weeks, and if I want to listen to a teenage angst album to savor my teenage years, then deal with it.

7) Boxer by the National — I'll admit, this one is a grower. The first time you listen to it, you'll hate it. But gradually, you'll start to feel a connection with lead singer Matt Berninger's deep baritone, and it will keep growing on you. Eventually, it will become your seventh-favorite album of the century.

6) Everything Goes Numb by Streetlight Manifesto — Some of my finest memories of my young life involve driving around the neighborhood with a few pals, singing along to this fine album. Though I know practically nothing about ska, I'd be so bold as to say it's the greatest ska album of all time. It's a high-energy album straight through, one that really gets the blood pumping and the feet moving.

5) Illinois by Sufjan Stevens — Loftier goals have never been set—Stevens plans on creating an album for every state in the union. Let's hope he didn't already reach his peak with this masterpiece. My favorite songs include those about the Chicago World Fair, a serial killer, and the Lincoln-Douglass debates of 1858. So hip!

4) Funeral by the [sic] Arcade Fire — Some of the finest albums are made in times of deep sorrow. The band, in the process of recording this album, lost two pairs of grandparents and an aunt. What rose from the ashes was a powerful memoir to the dearly departed, one that we can all share and enjoy.

3) Twin Cinemas by the New Pornographers — In this supergroup, the music they create is greater than the sum of its parts. Carl Newman, Dan Bejar, and Neko Case are all fine as solo musicians, but when brought together, beautiful things happen. Let this album serve as a reminder.

2) Apologies to [sic] Queen Mary by Wolf Parade — Words fail me sometimes. In trying to describe the greatness of this piece of work, I come to realize that I am lost for words. "I'll Believe in Anything" could top any list of the greatest songs of all time, easily. Not as a fluke, though. The rest of the album floors me as well. Just listen.

1) Boys and Girls in America by the Hold Steady — The best kind of music is the kind you can relate to. The biggest bar band in America, comprised of a bunch of middle-aged and balding men, somehow came to write the manifesto for being a teenager. It chronicles typical teen stories like partying, heartbreak, and enjoying being young, all the while rocking the heck out. Unfortunately, what I said earlier about music being fickle does hold true, so when I'm aging and balding as well, I might not like it as much. Until then, this is my bible.

Some thoughts, here in 2023:

• The funniest aspect of this list in retrospect is that the narrative hook is "this list is going to change as I get older," and yet here I am, over fourteen years later, and the list more or less looks the same. There's something to be said about the psychic pull of music that you discover when you're eighteen years old, and how that music never really goes away.
• I think that the main reason I introduced the list like that was because I knew there were going to be plenty of people tell me at the next townhouse party that my list is fucking bullshit, and I was trying to put my subjectivity up front and center before anyone got too harsh. But that's the whole point of these things, right! It's all subjective! We should be arguing about it!
• The only album I specifically remembering getting shit for is the Streetlight Manifesto LP, and maybe rightly so. That one is extremely subjective. Had I not discovered that album during an ultra-specific moment in time (approx. junior year of high school, coming into my own among my theater nerd pals), I would completely dismiss the album as sophomoric. Would it make the Top Ten now? Nah, probably not. But I cherish this album, and I'm glad some feathers were ruffled in 2008 over its inclusion.
• Okay, so what's changed in the intermediate years? I won't give you a specific Top Ten list right now (especially because you can pick apart lists I've already made and figure out where I stand), but I will say that four albums are a shoe-in for a current Top Ten, and another two or three are probably on a Top 25 or 30. One album wouldn't be on this list because I don't listen to the band anymore on purpose.
• Silent Alarm is an interesting pick here, especially with the blurb claiming that its follow-ups are "disappoint[ing]." I've actually adjusted by Bloc Party opinions significantly since 2008. First, I think that their immediate follow-up, A Weekend in the City, is actually better than Silent Alarm. However, second, I think that Silent Alarm probably would've made the best EP of all time, since those first four songs are maybe the best 1-2-3-4 to ever start an album, maybe ever (with a steep drop-off from there). Main point here: 2008 Joe was wrong in at least three different ways about Bloc Party.
• Man, the blurb for Boxer surprised me. Am I trying to say that there was actually a time in my life when I thought that Boxer wasn't good? That's hard to believe, but time does have a way of flattening and sweeping under the rug certain once-held opinions. The National remain growers, but at this point, I trust the process, and you should too.
• Also—there are days when I think Alligator is a better album than Boxer. There are also days when I think Sleep Well Beast is a better album. I will try to explain this as succinctly as possible. Let's say we should rate every album from 1-10 on two different scales, objective and subjective. The former is how the music is constructed, and the latter is how that construct has emotionally affected you in your life. If we're doing both for each album, then the objective-and-subjective ratings for Alligator are 10-and-8, the ratings for Sleep Well Beast are 8-and-10, and then ratings for Boxer are 9-and-9. I mean... you tell me how to rank them.
• Some of these blurbs are really fucking painful. I really think that the Apologies to the Queen Mary one is the worst of the worst (and not just because I forgot the "the" in the title). It's like, blurbs are supposed to say something in that short amount of time. Yes, maybe blurbs aren't necessary, and you should just listen to the album instead of reading the blurb. But if you're gonna do blurbs, then you can't spend the 30-word limit deconstructing the purpose of blurbs. There isn't enough room for meta self-deprecation! It's lazy!
• The Sufjan blurb has aged poorly for two reasons. One that was out of my control (the "50 states" project has already reached its conclusion by 2008, and in 2023 it's beyond passé to pretend it was ever a real thing to begin with), and one very much in my control (being sarcastic when calling this "hip" leaves a bad taste in my mouth, since I really do believe at this juncture that Sufjan Stevens is hip).
• Like all music pieces I wrote for my college newspaper in the late aughts, I think this list is a piece of shit, but I only think that because I was a bad writer back then (and mostly still am now, though with some noted improvement). In terms of the actual listing, besides the unfortunate #4 spot, I really appreciate having this snapshot of my headspace at the tail end of my teenage years. It shows that plenty of things have changed, now that those years are microscopic in the rear-view mirror, but that many other things have not changed at all, namely what I value in rock 'n' roll music.