Cheyenne: For me, it's about being a better person.
Van: For me, it's about what happens when you become a better person, what if you don't want me anymore?
Joe: For me, it's about Van making a self-fulfilling prophecy. Dude, if you are afraid that Cheyenne becoming a better person is going to make her not want to be with you, then don't be a petty sarcastic asshole to her for an entire episode.
I think it's valid to get worried or sad or upset when you can feel your marriage changing or adjusting. But marriage is also about supporting the thing that makes your spouse happy. You need to view those changes as a positive thing. Instead, Van pushes back—"I liked you better when you were hot and ditzy." Who the fuck says that?
Your hot and non-ditzy wife is standing here and tell you that she may have found her calling in life, and you're going to tell her no? What the fuck, man? It's as simple as saying "Honey, that's awesome, how can I help?" Instead you're gonna storm off twice in one episode, drink beers alone, whine and complain about yourself, and be sarcastically unfunny through it all? I hate it. I hate it.
Me, me, me, that's what I'm hearing from Van. I always think about the series finale of Friday Night Lights when considering these sort of matters. Coach supports Mrs. Coach when she decides to take a college administration job at Temple University, even though that means he's going to have to coach at a shitty Philly public school—"It's your turn." Total devotion to his wife. Total selflessness.
What would that look like for Van? Maybe I'll never know, since I have to watch this fucking ape talk down to his wife for another 2000 minutes this summer. In my (admittedly hypocritical, depending on how Pam is feeling today) opinion, it would be pretty easy to hear Cheyenne say "I want to pursue this" and for Van to say "sounds great." It's not that hard to feel happy for someone who finds happiness. To immediately refract that into self-pity is just such a bad look that I'm not sure I'm going to be able to stand it.
Save me, Judge Stephen Tobolowsky.
No comments:
Post a Comment