to hell with it, Joe

"Now let's all go around and say what we are thankful for."

"I'm thankful for the fact that PinkPantheress transforms what would've otherwise been pretty pedestrian pop/R&B songs into something a lot cooler and more exciting simply by adding those drum-and-bass-style rhythms underneath. I'm thankful for it, even though I'm not quite sure I have a firm grip as to what 'drum and bass rhythms' even means, except that they are complicated patterns repeated multiple times at what seems like quadruple speed. Is that it? Regardless, you know what I'm talking about. I'm thankful for it."

"I'm thankful for the fact that listening to a 'TikTok star' this week for Record Club was not as Boring Dystopia as it could have been. The idea of teenagers becoming pop forces freaks me out no matter the context, but it especially freaks me out when that context is some social media platform that I usually assume is filled with scantily-clad fifteen-year-olds staring dead-eyed into the camera and doing some popular choreographed dance. I do not profess to know what 'going viral on TikTok' truly means, but I expected a lot worse than PinkPantheress."

"I'm thankful for the fact that the song 'Last valentines' features a Linkin Park sample. I'm less thankful for the sample itself—which I would have never in a million years noticed if I wasn't told, even this soon after covering Hybrid Theory on this blog—and more thankful for the fact that genre doesn't exist for kids these days, and the fact that I'm hearing a goddamn Linkin Park sample on a pop album created by a nineteen-year-old should prove it."

"I'm thankful—and this is going to sound backhanded, even though I swear I'd never be like that at the dinner table during Thanksgiving—for the fact that we are in and out in less than 20 minutes. I think that PinkPantheress has a shtick—she's carving a pretty unique niche for herself—and she performs it well, but I don't necessarily think that this shtick would have staying power for me personally much past this short runtime. Like, I was thinking about how some of these songs seem to fade out prematurely, and originally I was considering this a negative. But then I realized that, even if something like 'Passion' feels like it is literally fading out mid-song, maybe that's for the best. Maybe a (10 Minute Version) (Taylor's Version) (From the Vault) of 'Passion' would be absolutely terrible. Nope, in its current form, I get to enjoy this album for what it is—a small curio blend of a few genres that I am woefully ignorant about, presented as pop, from a Gen-Z internet person—and then bail when I need something else."

"I'm thankful for—"

"Jesus fucking christ, can we just eat already? Ugh, to hell with it, I'm digging in!"

GRADE: 3 pukes out of 5